Things We Know
by CattyJen
Summary: Welcome to Konoha, Population 453. Demographics: one homecoming queen, one social outcast, one English project. GaaSaku AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey party people!!!!! I couldn't sleep last night so I this was born. Yeah don't expect people to be super in character this is kind of just an exercise for me. Its also kind of an outlet, its going to have smut _and_ fluff so don't expect a spectacular plot. This chapter is mostly an epilogue too.  
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**Its super AU and its going to have a lot of awkward topics like drugs, sexuality, suicide, general teenage drama. For the most part I don't know what I'm talking about so its pretty irresponsible for me to write about them... oops too late. So I hope I don't offend anyone and I apologize if i do. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto  
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Living in a small town had its upsides. Living in a small town had its downsides. Living in a small town meant everyone knew everything about everyone. Secrets didn't stay secrets for more than an hour and your business was everyone's business. But if you never spoke your secrets aloud and you were careful to only mind your own business it was easy to fade in to the backdrop, to become one with the cornfields or the tacky blue wallpaper at Ichiraku's diner.

From the moment Sakura arrived in Konoha every move she made, every word she said was the subject of town gossip. Did they honestly think she couldn't hear their chatter?

She remembered the first time she had gotten an allowance from her Grandmother Tsunade. Sakura walked a quarter mile to the drug store to exchange her coins for candy, it was _supposed_ to be the highpoint of the week. She left the drug store that day with a bag of taffy and an earful of the most disturbing rumors.

They talked about the budding romance between Mr. Asuma and Ms. Kurenai and about the mayor, Mr. Sabaku and his family affairs, but mostly they talked about the town doctor her flakey daughter.

"I hear she's shacking up with some Hollywood director wannabe and that's why she dumped her daughter with Dr. Tsunade." One woman had whispered to another.

"Well its right that she did." The friend answered. "Hollywood is no place for a little girl! I can guarantee Dr. Tsunade going to keep a tighter leash on this one, a bloodline can only support so many floozies."

"That pink hair though… she looks just like her Mama. For both of their sakes I hope she takes after her grandmother." Said a third woman and the other two gossipers nodded heartily in agreement.

I took Sakura fifteen seconds to realize they were talking about her family. I mean, how many other pink haired girls were there in town?

She realized that the part of their little exchange that irked her the most were the factual inaccuracies. First of all her mother's new boyfriend was a wannabe Hollywood _producer_ not director. Secondly, Grandma Tsunade, or just plain Tsunade she had requested that Sakura call her ('Grandma' made her feel too old) wouldn't have to keep her granddaughter on any kind of leash. From the moment little Sakura gained the ability to walk and talk she became the responsible adult in the mother daughter duo. _Sakura_ was the one that made sure bills were paid, the rent was in, and her mother was on time for her waitressing job. Sakura was the one who made grocery lists, breakfast, lunch, dinner and hangover cures. She was used to taking care of herself and her mother, she wouldn't need Tsunade's 'leash' or anyone else's for that matter. Sakura knew the rules in life, it was go hard or go home, survival of the fittest, and always remember that nice guy always finishes last. These were the essentials she used to arm herself against the hardships of city living. She sometimes wondered if the only reason her mother hadn't aborted her when she had the chance was because she knew she would be giving birth to the one person on earth who's life depending on taking care of her.

She was glad when her mother left her only daughter and a scuffed up suitcase on the doorstep of her grandmother's house in the itty-bitty town of Konoha. She was glad she would never have to see her mother's stupid face again. Those ladies were wrong again. Sakura didn't look a stitch like her mother. Sakura's mother had been blessed with the features and physique of an angel, a Victoria's Secret angel to be exact. The young girl knew that even after she hit puberty there was no hope of her ever looking like that. She was just plain faced and scrawny, she didn't inherit an exotic face or voluptuous curves. She was just a snot nosed brat and she _knew_ it.

How could those town ladies talk so fervently about unconfirmed facts and stories? Things they didn't _know_ were true?

Sakura liked _knowing_ things. When she lived in the little one bedroom apartment in the city she used to take out books from the library in a big burlap potato sack she had found under the rusty kitchen sink.

In Tsuande's beautiful old farmhouse / practice there was a room _inside_ of the house filled with books, atlases, and journals. Sakura could actually take her time reading the books without having to worry about due dates and late fees. It was like her mother had dropped her off on god's doorstep. She had all the books she could ever dream of reading.

It seemed that Tsunade also liked _knowing_ things. If Sakura couldn't find it in a book, Tsuande would always be the place she could go for the answer. It wasn't like Sakura's mother who only knew about make up and seducing married men, Tsunade knew about animals, the law, and the language. Sakura wondered how such a brilliant woman could give birth to such dumb one.

Adjusting to living with someone who actually had a neuron or two firing upstairs proved to be somewhat of a challenge. Sakura wasn't used to not being the boss, to not having the final say, to giving up her independence. She didn't know how to let another person care for her, she didn't know how an eight year old was supposed to act. It didn't take her long to figure out she didn't _like_ being treated like an eight year old, not after she had spent her entire cognitive life being treated as a thirty eight year old.

She fought with her new guardian, she never listened to her new schoolteachers, and initially she had trouble connecting with her new classmates.

All of the sudden there was something called "bed time" and there were these arbitrary lines and rules to obey. It was _polite_ to engage her fellow towns people in conversations and greet everyone she met with a hearty "Hello! Mr. Iruka" or "Good Morning! Ms. Anko". Stores were closed after six on weekdays and failed to open at all on Sundays. Small children like herself weren't allowed to roam the streets after dark.

Her teachers treated her like a baby and always planned the most infantile lessons, tasks so simple monkeys could complete them blindfolded. What self respecting third grader couldn't write in cursive or needed help remembering their times tables?

One of her classmates, Shikamaru couldn't even manage to stay away for lessons. Other boys like Naruto and Chouji spent the entire day munching on snacks and making burp and fart jokes. One boy even smuggled animals into the class, that sad part was even the animals made better students than these clods. Sakura loathed her new classmates and tried every morning to get out of going to school.

Things got better when she was befriended by Ino. Ino was glamorous like Sakura mother and she knew all about being a girly girl _like Sakura's mother_, but unlike Sakura's mother, Ino had a personality. She was confident, outgoing, and adventurous, everything Sakura wanted to be. _Everyone_ wanted to be Ino's friend.

Being from the city gave Sakura a much needed status boost, it also didn't hurt that Ino and Sakura actually got along fairly well too, it wasn't long before the two girls became inseparable.

After that, things got good for Sakura. The town ladies found a new topic of interest, school became a whole hell lot more bearable, and she learned how to live compatibly with her grandmother. It seemed Sakura had adjusted quite well.

Or maybe she had adjusted too well. Those who knew her before moving to Konoha might even suggest the pink haired girl had gotten complacent in her new environment.

If there were a Miss Teen Konoha, Sakura would be it. By her junior year of high school she was the steady girlfriend of the football captain and heartthrob Sasuke Uchiha, was consecutively elected homecoming queen since she entered her freshman year, she had the highest GPA in the history of the school and to top it all off she was vice president of her SGA.

She had everything; she was a high school junior who had everything the girls of Konoha went to bed wishing for. She always had the right clothes, the right shoes, the right accessories. She listened to the right music liked all the right movies and read all the right books. Everyone knew the town sweet heart riding around town in little red convertible she received for her sixteenth birthday. She was the envy of her classmates and an example for the lowerclassmen. And yet…

She was bored, completely and utterly bored out of her mind. Any other girl would sit back and bask in her own success and greatness, but not Sakura. She hated herself no- she loathed herself. Deep down, she knew she was a coward.

Perfect little Sakura, terrified of breaking rules, obsessed with her appearance her schoolwork, due dates, deadlines, time limits, customs, traditions; if there was a right way to do something Sakura obsessed over it.

Every morning she got up at dawn in order to have enough time to shower, blow dry her hair, and apply make up. When the process was over and done with she would stare at her reflection in the mirror and not once did she ever like the girl who she saw. It made her want to smash her fists straight through the glass and force herself to swallow the shards.

She knew now why her mother had been so eager to leave this place. It wasn't that the air was unclean or that the sunrises and sunsets were not beautiful, the people, while they were nosy and judgmental, they were still good and honest people and overall Konoha was a nice place to live. But it wasn't life, it wasn't alive, there was no heart beating and lung breathing, there was no pulse. Nothing ever changed except maybe for the weather, and boy did they _love_ talking about the weather!

Life in the city with her mother, though it was difficult and sometimes a little miserable, it was still fast paced and unpredictable. Sakura knew that if she tried hard enough she would be able to thrive and master it, but it would be a challenge. Challenges were something she only dreamed about, disaster was something she wished for, and stagnancy was all she got. She needed something, _anything_ to keep her from turning into a zombie.

But she was a coward, and her boredom would become her secret.

Konoha Senior High School was the smallest high school in the county. Students took seven classes total. The four mandatory classes for juniors were English, Trigonometry, Physics, and World History. These mandatory classes were broken up into two sections, a high level and a low level. Sakura took all high level classes and while she did well in all of them, she particularly excelled in Math and Science. History was too easy and didn't interest her very much and she found English to be often times very problematic. Research papers and constructed essays were simple enough, but plays, prose and poetry… That was a whole other story. Electives made up for the three extra class periods and were generally a conglomeration of all four grades. Students were permitted to take other academic electives or arts, sports or technology classes. Her junior year Sakura was taking Home Economics, Molecular Biology, and Environmental Science as her electives.

Having a schedule so jam packed full of academic courses meant that much of Sakura's days were spent completing school assignments and studying for exams. When she wasn't hitting the books she spent the weekdays working in Tsunade's office or hanging out with Ino. Fridays were game days. As the designated girlfriend of Sasuke Uchiha she was obligated to be at every game to cheer on her man. She wasn't a cheerleader or on the pep squad or anything like that, that was mostly a freshman's thing, but if Sakura wasn't at every match standing in the very front row screaming in support of her man, Sasuke would throw a hissy fit.

To tell you the truth he wasn't even that skilled of a quarterback. He was good, but he wasn't great. What really brought him fame was his handsome face and sizable trust fund. Sasuke was easily the hottest _and_ wealthiest boy in Konoha. He was the very definition of tall dark and handsome and his parents owned over three fourths of the farmland in the county. The Uchihas were the Hilton or Trump family of Konoha. Being Sasuke's girl was both an honor and a highly coveted position. Sakura was kind of getting sick of it. 'Kind of' being the understatement of the century.

From afar Sasuke seemed gentlemanly and debonair, but it was all an act. Those who had the pleasure of knowing him knew that he was really actually a selfish, arrogant son of a bitch. The boy really did believe the earth revolved around him and he made sure to let you know it. Konoha football might as well have been called _The Sasuke Show_ because they never tried a play where he wasn't the hero or that didn't allow him to score the game-winning touchdown. He was also probably the one person Sakura knew who spent more time in front of the mirror in the morning (and between classes).

If Sakura hoped to keep his affection she had to obey his every whim no matter how small or trivial. She let Sasuke tell her who to talk to, where to sit, what parties and events to go to. It was slowly getting to the point where he dictated what clothes she could wear and what food she could eat. If he had his way he would control every aspect of her life.

Sasuke never failed to remind her just how easily she could be dumped for someone more submissive or someone with a prettier face or better body. He accepted gifts from female admirers and openly flirted with other girls, sometimes right in front of her face. He made up lies and stories about vulgar sexual acts he had gotten Sakura to perform with him in dangerous places. Sakura often found herself doing his homework or projects for him whenever he doubted her brilliance.

And she wasn't stupid after all. In fact, she could see clearly exactly how easily he was manipulating her. It was obvious even to her that every word that came out of his mouth, every time he touched her or even looked at her was just another way he planned on controlling her just another way he kept her beneath him. Sakura could see his malevolence burning bright as daylight and she did nothing to avoid or escape it. She loved how difficult it was to gain approval from her boyfriend because it made it all the sweeter when she got it. This too was something she hated about herself.

English, in addition to being her least favorite subject, was the only class she had with Sasuke, which made it extra stressful. Mr. Guy, or Guy as his students took to calling him, lived for English. The man absolutely _loved_ the subject. He often began class periods with the dramatic rendition of a monologue from his favorite Shakespeare play or he acted the part of a famous literary character and the students had to guess what novel he was referencing.

"Could this teacher get any gayer?" Sasuke remarked snidely not even bothering to keep his voice down. He was reading the latest issue of Sports Illustrated Magazine while Sakura took notes for the two of them from Guy's lecture.

Sakura pretended not to have heard him and continued focusing on the lesson. It bothered her when Sasuke used the word 'gay' as an insult. It didn't matter whether their teacher liked men, women, or both; his sexual preference was none of their business. Besides, Sakura kind of admired Guy, he really was passionate about his work and passion was something her own life lacked.

Sex with Sasuke could only be described as tedious and unpleasant. It was another of Sakura's job as the designated girlfriend to attend social gathering with Sasuke, social gatherings being the drinking parties in Kiba Inuzka's basement after football games (win or lose). At these parties Sakura usually sat beside Sasuke while he reveled in his fame and glory. Next they would engage in some public display of affection in the form of Sasuke sticking his tongue in her mouth and the night always ended with her letting him spend a couple minutes on top of her in the guest bedroom. She figured as long as he used a condom it was better than having to deal with his whining or having to watch the pathetic attempts of freshman girls to steal him from her. God if only they knew how awful he was in bed.

None of the characters in the books or plays they read about in English class were so pitiful. None of the scientists, mathematicians or world leaders she learned about in any of her other classes made her want to cry out in exasperation. What exactly was keeping her from breaking up with Sasuke?

"Sakura! Sakura!" he hissed poking her with his pen.

"Mm?" she answered actually making an effort to keep her voice down. Guy didn't deserve to have his lessoned disturbed because Sasuke was a fucktard who couldn't even wipe his ass with out a consultation first.

"Pay attention." He ordered with a gesture toward the teacher. There was ten minutes left in the class period and Guy had cut his lecture short in order to explain a project he was assigning.

"In the spirit of youth I've decided to allow you the freedom to choose whatever great literary work you so desire to complete this project." Guy explained in a booming voice.

"Does that mean _gossipgirl_ books count?" asked Ino.

"The_ gossipgirl_ series is an excellent celebration of the springtime of youth, but no you may not do your project on any book, play, poem, or speech that has been adapted into a movie or TV show." The teacher answered. "Any other questions before I explain the specifics of the project? No? Excellent! Let me hand out some rubrics."

Guy went behind his desk and pulled out a stack of papers. He then handed the stack to Rock Lee his favorite student and asked him to distribute them to the rest of the class. When Sakura finally got her hands on that rubric she fought to hide her grimace. This was a _partner project_, which meant that she would be Sasuke's partner and end up shouldering the entire weight of the project by herself.

" Now the project is really very simple, what ever work you and your partner agree on, I want you to complete it." Said Guy.

Complete it? What on earth did he mean by that? If something was published doesn't that make it complete by default? Who were they to say it wasn't compete already?

Guy chuckled. "I see my precious students are a bit confused. What I want is for you two write a sequel…you know a follow up or an update. Tell me what happened to the characters or the speaker, where did they go when the curtains closed or the story ended."

So this was some sort of creative writing assignment. Creative writing wasn't really one of Sakura's strengths, but she knew she could come up with something that appealed to Guy's sense of pathos. Guy was pretty transparent when it came to his likes and dislikes and he was a sucker for a good inspirational saga.

"Excuse me sir," Sakura said politely raising her hand, "you didn't include a due date on the rubric. When were you expecting us to turn these papers in by?"

Guy flashed his students a pearly white grin. "Well this is more than just a paper. I want you to put a lot of time and effort into this project. I'm not talking about a five-page essay; I want manuscripts from you all. You will be free to hand in your work at any time during the year but I want to have it before final exams in the spring. This is a year long project and I'm expecting great things." He said with barely contained enthusiasm.

"Ah, I see." Sakura said with a smile no way near the same caliber of Guy's. "It is also in the spirit of youth to allow us to chose our own partners, wouldn't you agree, Sir?" she asked. Having Sasuke as a partner really wasn't the worst thing in the world, at least he would let her do it her way.

"I would indeed agree! I'm glad your thinking of ways to embrace your youth Ms. Haruno." Guy said.

Sakura caught herself smiling genuinely. She loved it when teachers complimented her and she loved it when things when her way. She would partner up with Sasuke and get this project over and done with as soon as possible. At least that was the plan before Guy completed his thought.

" But in the interest in making sure you all get the most out of your education I've decided to assign partners this time." He took a wad of folded up paper out of the pocket of his Kelly green muscle shirt. "You see I've already made a list."

Her face fell. Shit! She was going to get paired up with Rock Lee; she _knew_ she was going to get paired up with Rock Lee! Rock Lee had been very obvious and very forthcoming about his 'love' for Sakura. He had asked her out on multiple occasions and she _always_ rejected him. To be fair Lee was a really nice boy who would probably make a _much_ better boyfriend than Sasuke, but god…those eyebrows, that hair and those clothes! He was like something out of a circus! But he was also the teachers pet, so chances were Guy would try and do his favorite student a favor by pairing him with the girl he was crushing on.

"I better not get paired with Uzumaki…" Sasuke grumbled under his breath. Sakura found herself wishing that he _would_ get paired with Naruto Uzuamki, the boy with the _lowest_ GPA in the junior class. It was a complete mystery how he managed to land himself in the high level English class. Naruto was on the football team with Sasuke. All in all he was a fantastic line backer. State Colleges had sent scouts out to watch him play games. It was unfortunate that the boy was about as dumb as a box of rocks. His family was good friends with hers to the extent to which Tsunade treated him as an honorary grandchild. Despite this Sakura did her best not to associate with the likes of him. She had a feeling he was the kind of boy her mother might have hung around. And look at how far that got her.

"I'll read off the groups now." The teacher announced to the class waiting in silent anticipation. "Hinata you're with Kiba."

Sakura blinked. They would certainly make an interesting couple. Hinata Hyuuga was the shy daughters of a big oil family who Sakura had heard her speak _maybe_ four words in her entire life. Kiba was the football team's full back as well as a very lucid drunk. Tsunade had once remarked that Kiba acted as if wolves had raised him. Daddy Hyuuga would love to have that one over for dinner.

"Next we have, Ino and Naruto, Chouji and Shikamaru, Tenten and Shino." Guy paused to turn over the scrap of paper. "Sakura…Let's see Sakura you're with…"

_Not Lee! _She prayed. _Not Lee! Please anyone but Lee!_

"Sakura and Gaara." She heard the teacher say. Sakura almost fell out of her chair. Gaara!?! Gaara?!?! She changed her mind. She would take Rock Lee over Gaara any day of the week. Why did the universe hate her so much? Why on earth had she been paired with Gaara? That boy was a freak!

She had actually forgotten he was even in her class. He always sat in the very back of the room and never participated in discussions. The only time anyone ever noticed his presence was when he or she could feel a deadly aura emanating from next to the radiator. No one really knew what it was that pissed him off so much, but when Gaara was in a bad mood you could sense it in the air. It was common knowledge that he was the student most likely to try blowing up the school or murdering a classmate.

He had been suspended numerous times through out his school career. He had almost gotten expelled from middle school for punching a teacher. The only thing that kept him from getting kicked out was the fact that his father was mayor of their little town. Gaara was the youngest of the three Sabaku children.

The older two, Temari and Kankuro, were totally normal and generally well liked by people in town. Gaara was the Sabaku family's bad apple. Aside from his long history of violence and disrespecting authority, Gaara never put any effort into his school work. He had no friends, not a single one. Sakura had never seen anyone willing engage in conversation with the boy. And for good reason too.

Gaara only wore black. Every piece of clothing she had ever seen him wear was black, worn and baggy. There was a rumor that said the day Gaara wore any color other than black to school, was the day he would bring a gun to class and murder them all. Sakura shivered just thinking about it.

And if wearing black and knocking out teachers didn't make him enough of a deviant, Gaara was a known drug user and perhaps even a drug dealer. Kiba claimed to have witnessed him snorting powder and crushed pills on several separate occasions. Another boy from the football team Suigetsu told the principle he saw Gaara outside behind the boys locker rooms smoking marijuana. Since no one ever talked to him, no one knew just how serious his drug problem was.

Sakura turned in her chair to see if Gaara reacted at all to having his name called, or if he made any sign of having listened to the project outline. It didn't even seem like he was on the same planet as the rest of them.

For once he didn't seem to be angry. He still looked pretty frightening though, black eyeliner around eyes that cold and aloof did not give Sakura a happy feeling inside. He just sat there scribbling (or doodling she couldn't really tell) in his composition book never once looking up to meet Sakura's gaze. Everyone wondered about what kind of twisted things they might find in one of Gaara's notebooks. Ino claimed to have gotten a peek at a few of the pages and said she saw creepy skeleton drawling and portraits of town buildings and residents on fire. Again not something that really inspired faith in his overall mental health.

He just looked like he had been born a weirdo. Everyone in Konoha sported a healthy tan (save Sakura and a few others who applied sunscreen religiously because taking one step outside during the summer meant burning themselves to a crisp, but even they had some color to them) but Gaara was as pale as a ghost. His white skin looked even eerier next to his rust colored mop of unruly red hair. Even if he weren't dressed like the grim reaper, these attributes alone would have been enough to make him stand out in a crowd.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. She was planning on doing the entire thing herself anyway. It would be easiest just to tell Gaara that the entire thing was being taken care of and to just go on writing his _Death Note_.

"Rock will be with Jugo, and last but not least Sasuke and Karin." Sakura heard Guy say finishing off the list.

Sasuke was with the new girl Karin. Sakura thought Karin was fairly attractive, intelligent, and nice enough too. However she was also sure Karin had a major thing for her boyfriend. She had to wonder whether Karin would be ballsy enough to try to steal Sasuke out from under her. Sakura almost cared. Almost.

The class was alive with chattering between both satisfied and disgruntled partners. Guy waved his hands over his head trying to get the class settled down and grab their attention. "Class…Class!" he called and waited for the noise to die down. When the class was finally still again he continued his instruction. " I'm going to post a calendar outside the classroom door for each months. I expect each group to sign up once a month to meet with me and update me on your progress. I specifically made your pairs based on your own writing styles. A seasoned teacher such as myself will notice if only one of the writing styles is represented. All of my students are brilliant and youthful so I will not hear any excuses as to why you can't work together." Guy said seriously.

Oh was that a fact? Did he not notice the creeper brooding in the back of the class? How on earth was she supposed to collaborate with that boy? Sakura started to feel overwhelmed with dread. There was no way she could deal with someone like him. She looked over at her boyfriend to see if she could expect any support from him at all. He was busy cleaning the dirt our from under his fingernails.

"Sasuke?" She whispered.

"What do you know about this Karin chick? She's new right?" Sasuke answered absently.

"Yeah she's from the city but her parents moved her here for the rest of high school. I don't think she was thrilled with their decision, I can empathize with her." Said the pink haired girl.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at her but didn't answer.

"What am I supposed to do with _Gaara_ as my partner?" Sakura asked.

Her boyfriend shrugged his shoulders. "That's your problem isn't it?"

Sakura found it hard to concentrate as Guy continued ranting about how wonderful the project was going to be for them all and suggesting titles for their usage. This was going to be a disaster. She was going to have to step up her doting girlfriend act in order to keep her claim on Sasuke. As crappy of a boyfriend as he was, she had invested a lot in him and part of her really did care about him. And if that wasn't bad enough she was going to have to work with Gaara the anti social wack job unless she wanted to fail English class. No decent college was going to accept the girl who failed English junior year.

There was no escape. Sakura was just going to have to deal with her problems head on like she would anything else. When the bell rang signaling the end of the class period she decided she was just going to have to jump right into it.

She shoved her books into her bookbag and jumped out of her chair. She knew she needed to catch Gaara before he left the classroom and she lost sight of him.

" Gaara!" Sakura called after him. "Gaara wait up we have to talk about our project!" She caught up to him as he was walking out of the class. He didn't even carry a bag or schoolbooks, just that wretched notebook.

Suddenly they were face to face. Gaara was only slightly taller than she was and she could tell underneath his baggy clothes he was frightfully thin. He shouldn't have been physically intimidating but he was. For some reason she had no words, her throat was dry it wasn't working. He stared at her with his icy jade eyes waiting for her to state her business. Finally as he was about to turn away she started to speak.

"Our project." She said apprehensively readjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. Gaara's gaze was penetrating and unwavering it gave her the chills. " Uh… when do you want to get together to work on it? I know we've got a while to get it done, but school is really important to me and I've got a very busy schedule."

"Busy schedule…" Gaara repeated impelling Sakura to blush.

"Yeah…" She said giving a nervous laugh. "Really busy… So are you free on Thursday. I've got time after school."

"No." he answered.

Sakura stifled her annoyance. All of the sudden he had gone from scary to irritating in two seconds flat. Why the hell wouldn't he be free on Thursday? He didn't have a job or extra curricular. Was there some big drug deal or a creepers convention going on? "Ok." She said patiently. "What day is good for you?"

"I might have an opening next spring." Said the red head not bothering to mask his sarcasm.

"Right… next spring." Sakura said with a nod imitating the way he imitated her. " Look I'm not going away. This class, well all my classes actually, are really important to me. So you can either cooperate with me-"

"Or what? " he asked cutting her off. While they were talking the classroom had emptied. Sasuke had chose not to wait for Sakura (which didn't surprise her in the slightest) and she was becoming increasingly aware that if she didn't finish up this exchange soon, she would be late for her next class.

"I'm asking you nicely. Like I said before this is really important." She said. He had to understand. Everyone knew what kind of an overachiever and perfectionist she was. The two stood in the doorway as the people hallways started to clear out. She knew he was stalling on purpose. She knew _he_ knew she hated being late. "Gaaraaa" she pleaded.

The boy standing opposite her crossed his arms and scowled. "Then do it yourself."

"You heard what the teacher said!"

"I'm sure you'll figure something out." He answered. Sakura knew he was dismissing her.

"But Gaara!" she tried. And failed, it was too late the boy had already turned his back on her and was shuffling down the empty hallway. All she could do was watch his retreating form.

There was no point in following him. Not now at least. It was clear he was in no mood to make plans to work with her. She was going to have to try again later and she was going to have to get creative.

Now it wasn't just about her not being able to complete the project by herself, it was about his overall reluctance to do the right thing and just suck it up. Sakura was going to make it her personal mission to see to it that he contribute properly or else.

Who did he think he was anyway? Yes, life in Konoha could really weigh down on a person but that didn't make anyone else all dark and twisted _or_ rude. God stupid teenage angst; she wondered if he knew how lame he really was.

Boys in general were proving to be lame and a waste of time. Stupid Gaara, stupid Sasuke! If she didn't care so much about her reputation she would dump Sasuke and hit Gaara over the head with her copy of _War and Peace_.

But her reputation was about all she had and if Sasuke wasn't her boyfriend who would be, Lee? She didn't think so.

That meant she was going to have to stay even later after school to decorate the boy's locker room for the game on Friday. Maybe this way he would forget about convincing her to get his jersey number tattooed to her body. At least that would give her time to plan out a strategy against Gaara.

Sakura was not about to go down with out a fight.

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**Thanks for reading! I'm hoping to update this fairly regularly. I don't know if some of you have read my other stories. I usually write in more than one point of view. If you guys want/like that kind of style let me know and I'll continue this story in that fashion. Thanks again for reading and if you're feeling up to it leave a review. :) :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah this is out earlier than I anticipated. I'm sure there are no complaints about that. Every time I go to work on this I change my mind about what I want it to be. I mean its definitely going to be Gaara and Sakura but the rest of the characters and the central plot are kind of up for grabs. I dunno I guess we'll have to see about these things. So with out further ado here is the next installment ...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Two years Before the Mast.  
**

* * *

Ok maybe she wasn't ready for a fight just yet. They did have several months to complete the project after all.

All of her friends sympathized. Nobody wanted to be in the same room as icky Gaara much the less his partner in class. Apparently even in science class he did the labs by himself. No one ever wanted to work with him because of an incident that occurred in middle school. Gaara had sent Rock Lee to the hospital after they had been forced to work together in the science symposium. Sakura should have weaseled out of working with him when she had the chance.

A month had passed since she spoke to him. Since then, they hadn't even made eye contact. Most days Gaara didn't even show up for school. Things did _not_ look promising.

Life had become somewhat strange. Tsunade's behavior had become increasingly bizarre. She had been working less and less and had been making a real effort to spend more time with Sakura. The two had been out shopping almost every moment Sakura had time free. Tsunade had bought everything Sakura expressed interest in even with out her having to ask for it. Usually her grandmother was reasonable when it came to spending time and money on Sakura, but lately the spending seemed to be excessive. Sakura didn't know what to make of it.

Tsunade had also taken to inviting Naruto and the rest of the Uzumaki family over for dinner at least once a week. Sakura had always considered Naruto a giant pest who belonged caged in a zoo. Sasuke didn't hold Naruto in the highest regard either so that didn't really do anything to better her opinion of him. Although the more they hung out (albeit it wasn't by choice) the more Sakura realized that Naruto actually wasn't all that bad. Under threat of pain and torture she would even admit that his company was somewhat enjoyable and she didn't mind so much when his family dropped by for a meal. Naruto's dad was kind of a hottie too; although that was something she would _never_ admit to _anyone_.

While Tsunade was downstairs talking with Naruto's parents Sakura and Naruto were upstairs in Sakura's room studying for a physics test. Sakura was already more than prepared for the test but Naruto was in the lower level class and completely hopeless at calculating just about everything. The saint that she was, Sakura was more or less tutoring him.

"So when you're all done with the math, its imperative you remember to label your units. I don't know of any teachers who wouldn't take off points for omitting that." Sakura lectured.

"Right… righ… OK." Said Naruto. "Thanks Sakura, I really think I've got a chance at passing this class thanks to you."

The girl smiled. "Glad to have been able to be of some assistance." She stretched her arms over her head and yawned. It was a Saturday evening and she was exhausted beyond comprehension.

"Tired?" her companion asked.

"A little." She admitted. "Last night was game night so I didn't get to go to sleep until early this morning."

"Of course. I saw you at the party with Sasuke bastard."

"Well, he is my boyfriend…"

Naruto shook his head. " I don't know why you waste your time on a guy like that. You're too smart for him."

He was right and he was wrong. Sakura was smart, much too smart to be waiting on Sasuke Uchiha, but he was like her kryptonite. "Look Naruto, I'm flattered that you think this but…."

"Woah, hey don't get me wrong," he said putting his hands up defensively. "You're hot n' all but you're kind of like family. I stopped crushing on you years ago."

The teenage girl laughed. " I know all that already and trust me I don't see you as anything other than a goofy relative, but that's not what I was going to say."

"Oh sorry about that…Well then, what _were_ you going to say?" Naruto said scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

"Its just that…" Sakura began. How could she put it into words?

"If this is about sex I don't want to hear it..." He warned.

"No…God no!" she sighed. "Its just that Sasuke is really hard to please. He's never satisfied and I'm never good enough."

Naruto stared dumbly at her as he would one of the problems in his physics book. "You're with Sasuke because he has unrealistic expectations and standards? I don't get it, the guy is a bastard so you want to be his girlfriend? You're not making sense."

Sakura shrugged. "Its hard to describe. I guess I just like a challenge." She then gave him a look that quite clearly said _please lets just drop it. _

"Well speaking of challenges I was hoping I could get your help with one other thing." The boy said changing the subject.

"You name it…"

"Its this English project…you know the one for Guy's class?" he said and Sakura nodded her head. "Well Ino's my partner and we're having some trouble working together. You're good friends with her so maybe you could give me some advice?" he asked hopefully.

Ino and Naruto eh? Those two had _never_ gotten along. Guy must have been on crack when he made the pairings. "Just do whatever she tells you to and don't argue. It's not worth it and you can't win."

"But she wants to do our report on some cheesy romance novel. I'm not reading that crap!" Naruto complained.

"You asked me for advice and I gave it to you. Ino is actually quite the pitbul, you don't want to piss her off." Said Sakura. "Besides, you're better off than I am. Gaara Sabaku is my partner."

Naruto winced. "I got into a fight with him once. I think we would have really killed each other too if they hadn't pulled us apart. Now _that_ guy is an animal. I'm sure deep, deep down he is an OK guy, but Sakura be careful."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about." Sakura said bitterly. "He had no desire whatsoever to have anything to do with me much less our project. I think I'm safe for now."

He shook his head. "No, I'm serious. Now that we've made our familial ties official I'm telling you to call me if something happens with him. I'm sure he's not as bad as the rumors say he is, but still. That guy hits _hard_. He's a real angry guy and he had one hell of a right hook and he is not afraid to use it."

It was actually kind of sweet Naruto saying this kind of thing to her. Sasuke was always the first one out of the room whenever a fight broke loose. He would never come to Sakura's aid if she got into some sort of jam. She didn't no how to respond to Naruto's kindness.

"I guess I can put in a good word for you the next time I see Ino…." She said.

"Would you? Oh god Sakura I take back all those things I said about you!"

Her eyebrow twitched. Things he said about her? Well it probably wasn't anything she didn't deserve. Her boyfriend tormented him on a daily basis. She never really did understand the animosity between the two boys. It wasn't hard to imagine though, Sasuke wasn't the nicest guy in town.

At least he was still faithful to her. As far as Sakura knew, things hadn't really lifted off between him and Karin so Sakura was still his girl. That didn't stop her from working extra hard to support him in every way he asked. It was humiliating however, that he made her brush her teeth_ before_ he had her go down on him. He always acted like he was doing her a favor by letting her suck him off. After Sasuke and her parted ways, no matter what kind of sexual act they had performed, Sakura always found herself getting physically ill and vomiting several times. She supposed it was her sub conscious begging her to break things off with him, but she didn't have that kind of resolve.

Sasuke was always unloading his complexes on her. He routinely badmouthed the other players on his team or the athletes in the professional football world. The boy was insanely jealous of his successful older brother, Itachi. Itachi would probably inherit the Uchiha's entire estate, company, and assets because he was perfect for the job. Itachi had done very well in school, graduated top of his class from an Ivy League University and was now off getting his MBA at a prestigious graduate school program. He was loyal to his family and loved his parents and his little brother very much. Sakura had only met him twice but he left a very good impression on her and he was handsome to boot too. Growing up in Itachi's shadow had left a giant chip on Sasuke's shoulder. When he wasn't busy talking about how great he himself was, Sasuke would go on and on about how much of a weasel his big brother was. The worst part was Sakura was expected to listen to all of that crap and then agree with him when he was done ranting.

"Naruto, I'm sorry about all the crap Sasuke gives you." She said earnestly. " I didn't notice before but you're actually _not_ a baboon's ass."

"Its alright. I've always been under the impression you were a stuck up bitch. I guess you really can't tell a book by its cover." Naruto said making Sakura laugh.

"I'll show you stuck up bitch!" she shouted playfully hitting him with his textbook.

The two's laughter could be all the way downstairs to the kitchen where Tsunade and Mr. and Mrs. Uzumaki smiled.

* * *

It was a Monday and there was a week until Sakura had her scheduled evaluation with Guy. She had gone ahead and chosen the book she wanted to use for the project and made an outline of the possible ways she would actually do the project. But she still hadn't spoken to her partner.

Lunch was almost over and she had been searching high and low for Gaara but still couldn't find him. She had her friend in the attendance office confirm that he had indeed showed for school that morning. Sakura hoped he hadn't left the school grounds already, she had no way of knowing if he had decided the skip the rest of the day's classes.

She had checked the cafeteria, the empty upstairs classrooms, the lower gym, and the auditorium. There was access to neither the basement nor the roof so she hadn't bothered checking those places. Just as she was about to give up hope she had an epiphany. Clutching both her extra copy of the novel and her folder of ideas in her two hands Sakura ran outside to behind the tennis courts where there was an old cement stoop and the remains of some broken bleacher seats. Sure enough there sat Gaara Sabaku.

She wondered if he had heard that pink was the new black and if the statement had mattered to him at all. Seriously, he might as well wear the same outfit everyday if he was just going to wear the same color everyday. Black was so dreary and it didn't do much for his image. But then again neither did the cigarette (assuming it was tobacco he was smoking) that hung smoking between his lips or the unlit one he held in his right hand waiting to replace it. Chain-smoking? When would those losers learn that there was nothing badass about cancer? Yeah, it even made Gaara look kind of sexy and the smell of the smoke reminded her of those years she spent in that tiny apartment with her mother, but it was still a carcinogen. Carcinogens were bad.

Sakura stood behind him struggling to decide what the best way to go about it was. How could she approach him and still get what she wanted?

"I know you're there." He said taking a drag from the newly lit stick. "What do you want Haruno?"

It was strange hearing someone call her by her last name. She supposed some of the people she went to school with referred to each other on such terms, but everyone always simply called her 'Sakura'. Already he had her tilted off balance. "Smoking is bad for your health." She blurted out feeling like a moron.

He turned around to give her a scathing glare. One that clearly read 'I don't give a shit'.

Sakura cleared her throat. "That's not why I'm here though." She said. "The thing is we're supposed to meet with Guy a week from today…"

Gaara turned away from her and continued smoking his cigarette completely ignoring her existence. It took all her self-restraint not to give him a good kick in the back of the head. She was in perfect position for it too. Instead she set down the book and folder onto the cement next to him.

"This is the book I thought we could do and on the papers are some ideas I had… I'm just going to leave them here with you." She stopped talking and thought for a moment. "The book is actually pretty good. I think you might like it. It's a journal of sorts. This guy, the author, its about his life as a sailor. He gets out there and discovers the world. Its good stuff."

Gaara continued acting as if she wasn't even there. It was mildly infuriating.

"Well then I guess I'll be seeing you later." She said feeling as if she were talking to a brick wall. She did notice absently that his hair was sort of the same color only slightly more vibrant. It was hard though, to think 'vibrant' and 'Gaara' in the same sentence.

She left without saying goodbye because clearly she would not receive a response for that either. Why she was walking away she couldn't help but think that Gaara Sabaku was the most evil boy she had ever met and she hoped he would choke on his stupid cigarettes.

It would actually be best if he didn't show up the meeting with Guy. Then perhaps the teacher would just let Sakura do the project by herself, she wouldn't have to deal with Gaara's crap. Why the hell did he even come to class if he was just going to let himself flunk?

What could possibly be so terrible in Gaara Sabaku's life that would turn him in into a big ball of angry bastard teenage boy? The mayor's house was beautiful, and everyone in town, even the Uchihas, jumped through hoops to please Mr. Sabaku. Gaara could have what ever he wanted in their town but instead he chose to be a dark little loner. What was his problem anyway?

"What do you know about the Sabaku family?" Sakura asked Tsunade as she helped her grandmother close up and lock down their barn turned exam room.

"The Sabakus? Why do you ask?" said the older woman. She was always careful to lock all the cabinets because breaking into the barn would be as simple as breaking a window. Sakura knew her grandmother liked to protect the privacy of her patients. Everyone in Konoha was at one time or another one of her patients.

"Oh you know, just curiosity…" Sakura said earning her a very skeptical look from Tsunade. Her grandmother could always tell when she was lying. She said it was because they were two of a kind.

"I was assigned to work with the youngest boy, the one my age, Gaara, for an English project." Sakura explained.

Tsunade put an arm around her granddaughter and led her out of the barn turning the light off behind them. They were walking on the path back up toward the farmhouse when Tsunade started speaking. "You know I can't tell you anything about his medical history, and truthfully I don't know very much about the youngest Sabaku."

"Word around the school yard is that he's a deranged psychopath in the making." Sakura said humorlessly. " He's got this notebook and if you open it and look at the pages you've got seven days to live before a zombie crawls out of your history text book and kills you."

The old woman laughed. "He sounds like a charming young man, like his father."

"Mayor Sabaku?"

"He can be a little difficult to deal with, especially since his wife died."

Mrs. Sabaku had died when Gaara was born. Since then Mayor Sabaku hadn't publicly dated any other woman, but there had been plenty of rumors and speculation. Sakura had met the mayor on a couple occasions and saw him around town from time to time, he seemed like a very serious man. Apparently he came from a long line of politicians who were overall well respected.

"I remember Karura Sabaku very well. She was a funny bird that one. She and your mother used to hang out in the barn until it was renovated and refurbished." Said Tsunade smiling slightly from the memory.

"Gaara's mom was friends with my mom?" asked Sakura surprised.

"Oh yes, up until their senior year of high school. Karura was over here all the time until she and your mother had some sort of giant falling out."

That made sense. Her mother _was_ a giant flake after all. From what Sakura could remember of their time together, her mother wasn't exactly good at holding on to boyfriends either. "Do you know what happened between them?"

"I think it happened when Karura started dating Gaara's father. He didn't really approve of her friends and wanted to keep her all to himself. Even after they were married no one in town really saw that much of her."

"The more I hear the less I like the Sabaku family." Said the young girl dryly.

"Its not easy being Konoha's first family."

"He's still annoying and I will dedicate my life to ruining _his_ life if he costs me my English grade." Sakura said clenching her fists and throwing punches in the air.

Tsunade sighed. "That's my granddaughter…" she muttered.

* * *

Sakura got back home late Sunday evening. It had been another date night with Sasuke Uchiha. They had gone to see a movie out in the neighboring town's theater. The movie was some sort of inspirational sports film that failed to keep her attention.

The very worst part of the evening had been when she learned that she had been wrong about Sasuke's interest in Karin. She had spent the better part of the night explaining _why_ it was a bad idea for them to invite Karin to have a threesome with them. He claimed that he hadn't brought up the idea with Karin yet and that he had been waiting for Sakura's approval (which he had been shocked he didn't receive) before he asked her about it. Sakura thought he was full of shit. Her boyfriend was swine and that was a fact.

Sakura put way too much effort into her relationship with Sasuke, she was not willing to share him with _anyone._ She did feel sort of sorry for Karin because from what she could tell Karin was working really hard on their English project in an effort to impress the quarterback. It's a shame Sakura wasn't the one partnered with Karin; she had a feeling they would have worked well together. Instead she was stuck with you know who.

When she got into the house she turned on the lights in the kitchen and was surprised to see Tsunade was awake drinking a cup of tee in the adjoining living room. Usually, but not always, Tsunade was upstairs sleeping like a rock when Sakura returned from dates or parties. She trusted that Sakura would be home before dawn and knew that her granddaughter could manage to keep herself out of serious trouble. Tsunade only made an effort to stay up when there was something she wanted to discuss with Sakura that couldn't wait until morning.

"You're up late." Sakura commented. "Isn't tomorrow a work day?"

Tsunade downed the remainder of her tea. " I could say the same to you. Isn't tomorrow a school day?"

The young girl rolled her eyes and joined her grandmother on the couch with an unceremonious plop. "I've got things under control. You don't have to worry I'm not like my mother."

"You're mother wasn't- no _isn't_ bad. She really enjoyed herself growing up. She recognized that she didn't fit in with the academic world and didn't want a desk job so she did what she wanted to do. Its not a sin to live your life the way you want to live it." Said the old woman.

Sakura realized that it wasn't tea that had been in her grandmother's cup. No, she could smell the alcohol on Tsunade's breath. "Is something wrong? Why are you still up?" she asked concerned.

"No I was just waiting for a phone call, and before I knew it, it was already past midnight so I thought I would wait up to give this to you."

The girl was confused. "Give what to me, Tsunade?"

Her grandmother got up and walked over to the kitchen counter. She returned holding Sakura's extra copy of _Two Years Before the Mast_ by Richard Henry Dana Jr. and the folder that held her ideas for her English project. She was astonished; she never thought she would see either item again.

"Your cute red haired friend stopped by," said Tsunade. " He left these for you."

Sakura snorted. "Cute? Gaara Sabaku is a giant pain in the ass, he's anything but cute." She took the stuff from Tsunade's hands. "Well at least he was nice enough to return my stuff to me." She said raising an eyebrow and sighing. "Did he say anything else?"

"No, he looked supremely uncomfortable. I know I'm old but I'm not scary old yet. He couldn't wait to get out of here though."

"Don't take it personally. He's socially retarded."

"Be that as it may, I'm going upstairs and I'm going to rub a pound of anti wrinkle serum on this old face and then hit the sack." Sakura's grandmother said. "I plan on sleeping in so don't wake me unless the house is on fire." She warned. "I'll see you tomorrow when you get home from school."

"Goodnight." She called to the woman walking up the steps to her bedroom.

"Goodnight."

Sakura sat for a few moments after Tsunade had ascended up the staircase. She had no idea what she was going to do tomorrow at school. Naruto, who had again been their dinner guest the night before, suggested she try bribing Rock Lee to ask Guy to cut her a break. Still, that would essentially be cheating, and Sakura Haruno was no cheater. No way, no how.

She looked down at the book in her hands. It looked a little worse for the wear, could Gaara actually have read the book? Sakura carefully opened the folder to check if any papers were missing. Actually, it was thicker than she recalled it having been before.

"What the…" whispered the girl. Inside of the folder, along with her notes, was a stapled packet papers. There were thirty no forty pages printed front and back with paragraph after paragraph or black text. No it couldn't be…

So Sakura sat and she read and as she read and as she read her jaw dropped. Gaara did it, he read the book and he did the project. Oh god, and it was good, really good! Better than anything she could have ever come up with.

It was beautifully written in the same style of Dana, the original author. It really read as if it were an actual continuation from the novel. Sakura sat for an hour and read through it twice she liked it so much. She couldn't believe that he had written something so wonderful.

Yet she found herself feeling annoyed with the boy wonder. What game was he playing? If he was so good at writing, if he had intended to do the project why didn't he just agree to work with her in the first place?

Well technically they hadn't really worked together at all. He had just gone and done the project himself. It was brilliant writing but it was also quite obviously not Sakura's writing. Guy would never believe that Sakura had anything to do with the story. It was all so clearly Gaara.

What did he expect her to do with it? Did he just think he could drop it off at her house and she would be satisfied? That this wouldn't make her want to hunt him down and demand answers and his teamwork? He had better show up for school the next day because she was going to find him first thing and get things straight with him.

She was going to find out what the hell was going through this kids head.

* * *

**Welcome to the bottom of the page. I'm glad to see you made it this far. I hope this latest chapter was to your liking. I want to give a HUMONGOUS thanks to all the reviewers. You people are the single coolest creatures on earth. That is a fact. **

**On another note... Yeah I made Naruto have parents. If Itachi can be alive why can't Minato and Kushina? What ever its fanfiction and AU so I am boss. What I say goes. **

**Let me know if you liked this chapter... what you would like to see more of...what you would like to see less of...What couples you like? I dunno just leave a shout.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is another chapter. Do with it what you must. **

**disclaimer : I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

Sakura was waiting for him. She arrived at school a half hour early to stake out the old bleachers behind the school. She was going on the assumption that Gaara would be stopping back there to squeeze in a morning smoke before homeroom. It was highly unlikely that he would be showing up to school early but she want to be there just in case.

She had been thinking about him all night. No, that sounded weird… she had been thinking about his story all night. It its own delightful way it was haunting her. She was in awe of his writing talent. Who knew he had it in him?

Gaara had chosen to write about one of Dana's shipmates not about Dana himself. At the end of the book, Dana made reference as to how the lives of his fellow voyagers panned out. Gaara chose the character Faucon as his person of interest and wrote his own set of journal entries detailing Faucon's life after he and Dana parted ways. Sakura had been enthralled with his work and found herself wishing Gaara had written more. Why didn't he ever participate in class? Guy would go gaga after a mind like his.

Part of her was cursing his apparent genius. Because she had gotten back from her date so late in the first place, and then she got herself all work up over Gaara, (again that didn't come out the way she intended) Sakura didn't end up getting to sleep until four a.m. She had only gotten two four hours of rest and it felt like none of that was REM. The pink haired girl was wracking up a major sleep debt.

She knew that if she kept her mind running she would be less likely to drift off. She was done thinking about Gaara and she was _so _done thinking about Saskue, so she occupied herself puzzling over Tsunade's peculiar behavior.

Her grandmother had once shared with her a bit of advice. She had told her that if Sakura wanted something to remain a secret, never speak the words out loud because no matter how hard you may try once they've left your mouth, there is no way to call them back. That didn't stop Sakura from learning Tsunade's secret.

The woman was a functioning alcoholic. Now everyone knew Tsunade liked her drink, but what they didn't know was how _much_ she liked her drink. They all assumed there trusted town doctor was in control when in fact she wasn't. It didn't mean that Tsunade went to work drunk or saw patients drunk, no she was a _responsible_ drunk. Sakura knew sometimes her grandmother slipped a little liquid fire in her orange juice in the morning but it was only really maintenance drinking. The old woman only ever got rip roaring drunk in the evenings when Sakura wasn't around.

At first Sakura thought that if she spent more time in the house, Tsunade would have less of a reason to drink. It soon became clear when Tsunade invented reasons to get Sakura out of he house for a night, that the woman's problem had nothing to do with her. Sakura still felt like part of it had to be her fault. What other reason would her grandmother have to drink? Sakura was the living reminder of her foolish daughter and the mess she made out of all of their lives. She knew Tsunade loved her but she knew in return all Sakura was doing was hurting her.

She wondered if her mother cared at all. Sakura's mother was part of the pain too. But unlike Sakura and Tsunade, that woman didn't think of anyone but herself.

Sakura realized with a shock that Sasuke reminded her a lot of her mother. God Freud would have a field day with that notion. She should erase all thoughts like that from her mind or else she might not be able to wait until Sasuke left to get sick all over the place.

Her new line of thought was starting to become unpleasant. Sakura quickly switched channels and began thinking about homework and chores. She had remembered to turn the dryer on before she left the house that morning but she had forgotten to make her bed.

Oh her bed. Sakura really did have a lovely bed. She had one of those really great firm mattresses and the most soothing color of sky blue sheets. Especially now that the weather was getting colder Sakura just longed to cuddle up in those blankets and float away…

She didn't realize she had fallen asleep until she was awoken by the smell of cigarette smoke.

"Shit." She groaned rubbing her eyes. "I can't believe I just did that." She looked down and saw that someone had covered her once sleeping form with a hooded black zip up sweatshirt. It was a clear indicator that if she turned her head ninety degrees she would see Gaara was the source of the cigarette smoke.

Sure enough slouching next to her was the young man himself. Through half closed eyes she could just make out the profile of his face starting off into the distance. He had the strangest of faces. His nose was long and thin as were his lips but his cheeks were high and angular making his appearance slightly elegant and exotic. It was unusual to see someone with such dark fiery red hair with such clear pale skin. His eyes were too light and his lashes too long. Nothing seemed to match his dark dismal wardrobe.

"What time is it?" she asked him softly.

"Lunch ended fifteen minutes ago." He answered still not looking at her.

Sakura jumped two feet of the ground letting the sweatshirt fall onto the cement below her. "Are you kidding me? I've been asleep for four hours? I missed classes? I missed our meeting with Guy?" she asked in a panicked voice.

"Um…yes?" said Gaara emotionlessly. He leaned forward and retrieved his shirt from the ground dusted it off and offered it to her again.

The pink haired girl stared at it for a moment. Good god she was behind the tennis courts skipping class with Gaara Sabaku. She had been cuddling with his sweater! If anyone saw them together it would be a disaster for her social life. She just wanted to get this English business taken care of and never have to deal with the likes of him again.

"No…thank you." Sakura replied disdainfully. "How long have you been here for?"

"Dunno."

"Ok." Said Sakura taking a deep calming breath. "You didn't happen to go to our meeting with Guy today did you?"

Unsurprisingly Gaara did not answer. Instead he took one long last drag of his cigarette and then put it out under one of his thick boots. When ever she was with him, Sakura felt as if she didn't exist. He was so absent.

"I'm going to assume that means no."

Gaara stared at the ground. "I did the report what more do you want from me?"

"Gaara, you know we can't turn that in!" Sakura said her tone tinged with annoyance.

He stood up abruptly. "Well then like I said before do it yourself. I don't give a shit about my English grade and I could care even less about yours."

"What the hell is your problem?" Sakura demanded staring up at him her green eyes bright and angry. "Why are you such a freak?"

"Same reason you're a stupid slut. Now don't bother me again." The red head threatened callously. He flung his sweatshirt over his shoulder and stomped off toward the parking lot. It looked like he wouldn't be returning to class.

That bastard! How dare he speak to her that way! Sakura was fuming and she had half a mind to follow him and make him apologize for saying such slanderous words. But she remembered Naruto's warning. Gaara was a dangerous person; she was lucky that he only verbally insulted her. She hadn't ever heard about him hitting a girl but he was definitely the type to try. Damn he was an asshole.

Just how long had he been sitting there for anyway? Was he like watching her sleep or something creepy like that? Why didn't he just wake her up so she wouldn't miss any more meetings or classes?

Sakura thought about how unpleasant it would have been to be woken up by Gaara. The thought of him touching her gave her a strange feeling in her chest. It was the same feeling she got whenever she was about to take a test, a kind of nervous dread.

Oh crap! Speaking of tests, she was at that moment missing a practical biology exam. It was going to be a huge hassle to make that up. Napping all morning basically assured that she wasn't going to be able to sleep regularly for at least a week. How did these things keep happening to her?!?

She wished there were a wall nearby she could bang her head on… or maybe straighten her back against it. Sakura was aching from having fallen asleep sitting upright.

There was no point in going to class now, she would be better off returning to the farmhouse and starting her homework or continuing her nap.

Instead she went home and reread the work Gaara had given her. It was just as excellent as it was when she read it the night before. And that's when she realized she never got a chance to tell him how good it was. He pissed her off before she could compliment his job well done.

Maybe she should have gone about their encounter a little differently; maybe then she wouldn't be stuck in such a mess. There had to be something she could do to clean things up.

If only she knew his cell number. Then she could text him. Texting was great because it minimized the actual contact between the two parties. She could ask him for his notes and rough drafts and then maybe she could do some reconstructive surgery and make the story read like they both had something to do with it.

She was still pretty steamed he called her a slut. It was an inaccurate depiction. Sakura had only ever slept with Sasuke and she didn't even like doing it. At least she was being precise when she called him a freak. Everyone knew he was a freak.

Though with the way things were shaping up it looked as if she was going to have to seek out the freak at least one more time.

* * *

"This shop looks nice." Said Tsunade pointing to the newly opened boutique.

"I'm sure it's a great store." Sakura conceded. "But we've been shopping for six hours and Shizune is my Biology teacher! I know she's your sister in law but its weird shopping with someone who works at my school." She said and then turned to Shizune. "No offence."

"None taken." Shizune said laughing good-naturedly. " But I am glad I've gotten to spend so much time with my favorite student and my favorite relative…even if it has been the longest shopping expedition of my life."

It had taken them an hour and a half to get to the mega mall and Tsunade had been dragging the two of them though every store spending money like water. It was insane half the stuff they were buying Sakura didn't think she would need until she would be going off to college.

Thankfully Shizune had chose not to mention Sakura's unexcused absence from class earlier in the week. Sakura had of course gone in and made up the lab along with all of her other assignments, but it still was a blemish on her perfect attendance record.

She hadn't approached Gaara since then and he hadn't made any efforts to talk to her. Sakura _had_ felt him glaring at her from the back of the classroom. She was beginning to get paranoid that whenever she felt someone coming up behind her that it was Gaara going in for the kill.

She thought about asking Naruto to watch her back like he had promised he would, but she thought that was a little overkill.

She did though, true to her word, ask Ino to give Naruto a chance. But as far as she knew things hadn't improved between the two partners. Ino and Sakura had gotten together one night, binged on ice-cream, and spent the better part of two hours bitching about how much boys suck.

Ino had stealthily asked Karin if she and Sakura's boyfriend had anything going on. Karin claimed that her and Sasuke were barely even friends. Sakura gave her the benefit of the doubt but Ino was still suspicious. Everyone knew Ino was Sakura's best friend so only an idiot would confess to fooling around with Sakura's boyfriend.

So they got Tenten to ask Karin. Tenten seemed like an objective party but since she was pretty close with Ino she agreed to play double agent for their just purposes. This time Karin spilled her guts. She thought Sasuke was "such a hottie", " super sensitive" and " oh so irresistible". They hadn't consummated their love yet, but Karin thought it was only a matter of time until she got her hands on him.

That's when Sakura realized she didn't want to lose him. She didn't have only bad memories of him, when they first started going out they had a lot of fun together. He had gotten her roses last year on Valentines Day and took her to her favorite restaurant in the city for her birthday. He used to be really sweet too, always opening doors for her and holding her hand when they went out. Although he hadn't done either of those things in months.

"Oh god boys are stupid…" Sakura said under her breath.

"What's that you're saying? Trouble with Sasuke?" Asked Shizune sympathetically.

"Oh its nothing to worry about." The teenager said with a dismissive gesture.

"Nonsense you just need a new dress!" said Tsunade dragging both of her companions by the elbows and dragging them into a dress shop. "You need something to make you look sophisticated."

"I'm quite fond of burgundy." Suggested Shizune grabbing a dress of the rack. She held it against Sakura. "What do you think?"

"Oh please I wish I had the bust to keep up a strapless like this." The three women laughed together.

"I guess you can't get everything from me." Said Tsunade. "What you need is something in black.

"No!" Said Sakura thinking of Gaara. That was _his_ color. Just because she was working with him- or not working with him- didn't mean she was going to start wearing black. "I want something pink, you know to go with my hair."

Tsunade shook her head. "Black is more versatile. Its too hard to find a shade a pink that won't clash." She left Sakura standing there as she toured the shop picking all the black dresses off the racks and shelves. She returned with eight or nine dress and handed them to her granddaughter. "Go try these on in the dressing room. I'll buy which ever one you like the most."

"I want a pink dress!" Sakura said through gritted teeth feeling incredibly juvenile. "Or maybe a blue one…I don't know! I just don't want to wear a black dress."

"Just take the black dresses!" Growled the old woman.

"I said no!"

She shoved the dresses at Sakura. "Just try the damn dresses on and pick the one you want! We're not leaving hear with out one of these dresses. Do you understand me missy?!"

What the hell was the old lady's problem? "Ok, Ok…take a pill I'll try the stupid dresses on. Menopause much?" Said Sakura. She took the bundle of black fabrics her grandmother had pressed against her chest and walked over to the dressing room. She gave Tsunade one last furious glare before she dramatically slammed the dressing room door shut and began stripping off her clothes.

* * *

The majority of the car ride home had been silent. Not a peep was heard from Shizune or Tsunade and nobody had the good grace to turn the radio on.

Sakura had finally chosen which of the black dresses she would be taking home with them. She only agreed to let Tsunade buy it because it looked so good on her…and she was a sucker for raw silk.

When they were just outside the border of Konoha Tsuande broke the silence. "So have you heard from your mother lately?" She said looking back at Sakura in her rear view mirror.

"Um…No…. Have you?" Said Sakura

"She called a couple of weeks ago. She's in New York." Said Tsunade. She waited for a response from the girl sitting in the back seat.

"I'm listening." Sakura answered tentatively.

"Well, she said she met a nice man up there. She was thinking of bringing him down here to meet you. Or maybe you could go visit with her up there for a while." She glanced up again at her granddaughter adjusting the mirror for better viewing.

"I'll pass. You tell her thanks though, thanks a lot." Sakura said with a surprisingly intense amount of bitterness.

"Would you object to me inviting her to thanksgiving dinner?"

"I don't understand…Usually we eat with Naruto's family." She narrowed her eyes. "What's with the sudden push to invite this woman back into our lives?"

It was a couple of moments before Tsunade answered. Whenever she didn't answer immediately Sakura knew her grandmother was preparing to lie to her. Something was going on and she didn't like it. Tsunade and Sakura got along well until one of them began lying. They had a no lying policy in their house. How else were they supposed to trust each other?

" I just thought maybe we should all spend a little more time together."

Sakura struggled to maintain her composure. She wished Tsunade would just come out with what ever she wanted to say and stop dancing around it. But if she wasn't going to be straight with Sakura then Sakura wasn't going to listen.

"Look, I'm tired… wake me up when we get back home. I've got something I need to do before dinner."

So for the next twenty minutes the pink haired girl feigned sleep and thought about how even with the resident drama in her life, she was still boring. It wasn't just her that was boring. _Everything_ was boring. It was only a matter of time until Tsunade snapped out of her funk, she smoothed thing out with Sasuke, and Gaara crawled back under what to what ever rock he originated from.

Did she even want these things to happen? That was a stupid question. Maybe things were _boring_ that way, but she didn't have to fear the unknown. She was safe. Safe was good.

God maybe she should have make a list of the bad and good. Just to keep her from forgetting. Just to recap…carcinogens were bad and safety was good. Being Sasuke's girlfriend was good and being Gaara's English partner was bad. Shopping with Tsunade and friends was good and fighting with Tsunade on the color of their purchases was bad.

Getting out of Konoha…good or bad? Well eventually she _had_ to get out of Konoha, there was no 'Konoha University'. Sakura definitely wanted to go to college, there were quite a few she would be applying to next fall. But after she went to college and did what she needed to do. She had no idea what she wanted to do after that. Be a doctor like Tsunade perhaps? That would mean she wouldn't get out of training until she was in her late twenties and she would be a zillion dollars in debt! Maybe she could work in a lab somewhere. Sakura was a science and math girl. She would be thrilled if she got to spend the rest of her life doing research. There were however no research labs in Konoha. They didn't even have a movie theater!

She had no future in that town. She couldn't wait to leave but at the same time she wasn't sure she still knew how to function in the real world, in the city.

"We're home." Sakura heard her guardian say flatly. She didn't reply. Faking sleeping felt so good.

Tsunade sighed dejectedly. "Do what you want. We'll talk about this later."

Sakura waited until she heard the car door slam and Tsunade close the house door until she let go of the charade. And yeah they _were_ going to talk about it later. Tsunade was going to stop treating Sakura like a four year old and just tell her what the hell was going on. That would be really nice of her wouldn't it?

On the walk over to the Sabaku mansion Sakura thought about her mother. She had seen the woman once since the day she dropped Sakura off at Tsunade's house. Sakura wasn't angry about that or anything. She didn't take it personally. Her mother was just that sort of woman. It was a rare act of selflessness that incited her to leave Sakura with her grandmother.

She wondered if Gaara knew there mothers had been friends. He probably wouldn't care very much but for some reason it meant something to Sakura. Her mom may have gotten ditched back in the day, but she still got her ass way out of Konoha whereas Gaara's mom was born, raised, and buried in their small town.

Sakura shivered. It was early November and it was finally starting to get cold. She had a light jacket on but it really wasn't enough to warm her against the wind chill. It would have been smart if she had chose to drive to Gaara's house instead of walking, but her legs needed a stretch after that long car ride. Luckily her house wasn't far from his.

She was nervous about ringing the doorbell. It was the mayor's house after all. But Sakura knew she had to suck it up and get the whole thing over with. So with out giving herself anytime to think up good enough reasons to back out, she leaned in and rang the doorbell one time. Then she waited.

A tall girl with dark wild blond hair wearing a chef's apron opened the door. "Well, well, well, if it isn't my old friend Sakura." Temari said. "What's up girl?"

Sakura was glad Temari was the one who answered the door. She liked Temari. The girl was a couple years older than Sakura and had already graduated, but Sakura still saw a lot of her growing up. Temari worked in Tsunade's office several summers ago and was an assistant in Sakura's middle school history class when Temari was a high schooler. The two girls had always gotten along well. Temari had even given Sakura a little relationship advice when she first started going out with Sasuke. Temari was the big sister type. It was a shame she was stuck with a brother like Gaara.

"I'm actually here to see your brother." Sakura said to the blond.

"Come on in then." Said Temari. She swung the door open and let Sakura follow her inside. So follow her in she did.

And holy crap did the Sabaku's have an expensive looking house or what? All of the furniture; the couches, the tables, the chairs looked like they were authentic eighteenth century Italian works of art. There were oriental carpets on the rug and oil paintings on the wall. The living room had six Tiffany lamps! Six! It was like stepping into a palace.

"So you finally got rid of Sasuke eh?" Temari said with a small smile. "I knew he wasn't right for you from the get go."

"Well actually-" Sakura tried.

"I'll go get Kankuro and tell him you're here. You know he has mentioned on occasion that he thought you were hot, but I didn't think he liked dating younger girls. I didn't think he got with the relationship type either." Said Temari. "And you're so clearly the relationship type…No offence."

Sakura laughed uncomfortably. "That's uh… Interesting." She said. "But I'm actually still with Sasuke. I'm here to see Gaara."

Temari met this declaration with an open mouthed stare. Sakura was guessing it didn't have to do with her relationship status.

"The thing is we're doing an English project together, so I kind of needed to talk to him…" Sakura said trailing off. She wasn't sure what else she could say. "Is he…home?"

"Yeah he's in his room." Temari said pointing downwards. Apparently Gaara's room was either hell or the basement. " Sorry about my reaction… I was just a little surprised. Gaara's never had a visitor before." She made a funny face. "Well actually there was the police officer that one time… Well never mind." She said shutting her mouth abruptly. "I'll go get him for you?"

"That would be great." Sakura said trying to sound like she actually meant those words. It would also be great if she came back announcing Gaara had spontaneously combusted. Then she wouldn't have to work with him.

She watched Temari leave the room and heard her stomp down the basement stairs. So Gaara did live in the basement… If he were her brother she would make him live in the yard. The stupid name caller!

Sakura wanted to sit down, but she felt unworthy to sit on the beautiful furniture. It felt awkward just standing there though. She was terrified that the mayor was going to pop out from behind a corner and start talking about taxes or crop yield with her.

A few minutes passed and Temari returned with her youngest brother in tow. Temari stepped inside the room and strode up to meet Sakura while Gaara hung back and leaned his skinny body against the wall. He folded his arms and refused to look at anything or anyone except the designs on the carpet.

Temari gave Sakura a brief hug. "You'll have to come back and visit me. I want to hear all the details in the exciting life of Sakura Haruno."

"Thanks Temari, I will… I promise." Said Sakura returning the hug.

"Do you need me to stay?" Temari asked after she had let go of the younger girl. Her eyes darted pointing at her younger brother.

"Its cool I'll see you later." Sakura assured her. "Bye…"

Temari waved her goodbye and left though the door Sakura assumed was adjoined to the kitchen. The Sabaku girl must have been in the middle of cooking dinner. Sakura wondered why the mayor's family didn't have a personal chef or maid to do that kind of thing. She guessed maybe it was the cook's night off or that Temari just liked cooking.

She thought about asking Gaara but she had figured he wasn't one for small talk. So instead she got straight to the point. "I talked with Guy and I apologized that we missed our meeting with him." she said.

"Ok…" Gaara answered in his typical bored tone.

Sakura tried not to let it get to her. "Anyway he was cool with it, said he trusted that we were working diligently and whatnot."

Gaara nodded but he still wasn't looking at her face.

Sakura massaged her face with two hands. She felt a headache coming on. "Look…" she said removing her hands from her face. "I didn't tell you the other day… I mean to…you just pissed me off." She waited for a moment. " What you wrote was good…I mean I liked it a lot. What I meant when I said we couldn't use it was that we couldn't just hand in your work. Guy would know right a way that I had nothing to do with it."

"I still don't care about your English grade Haruno…" Said Gaara _finally_ lifting his head. Sakura was taken aback by the blacked ring around his right eye. It looked as if someone had punched him. She tried to hide her shock and stifled the urge to get closer to him. Gaara was like a wild animal. Any sudden movements he might react badly to and arrack. She shouldn't be surprised by his black eye. Gaara was notorious for his fighting. He often came to school looking a little roughed up.

"I'm not _asking_ you to care about my English grade. I'm _begging_ you to work with me here."

"Why should I?"

"Why shouldn't you?" Said Sakura her voice raising a full decibel. " I don't know you and you don't know me. You've got no reason to help me but you've got no reason _not_ to help me."

"You don't want my help."

"Would it help if I got down on one knee and then begged? I think I've made it fairly clear that yes, I want your help."

Gaara closed his eyes. "If I say yes will you swear that you'll never bother me again? That you'll leave me alone?"

"Only if you swear to the same." Sakura said. As if she would want anything to do with him when this was all over. Didn't he realize that they didn't exactly run in the same social circles and that they had lived together in the same town for _years_ and she never made any attempts to talk to him? If anything she should be the one demanding that when everything was all said and done with that he'd go jump off a bridge.

"Don't flatter yourself, princess." He spat.

Princess? That was rich coming from the boy who lived in a palace. "Why don't you just go listen to some _My Chemical Romance_ and paint your nails or something?" Sakura shot back.

"Is that what you say to people who you're begging to help you?"

"I'm not a princess." Said Sakura stubbornly.

"And I don't paint my nails." Gaara said walking over to her and waving a hand in her face showing her his unpainted nails.

"Right." The pink haired girl said feeling slightly foolish. "Well then lets make a time to get together."

"I work after school. From 3-5." The boy informed her.

Sakura thought for a couple of seconds. It was weird that Gaara had a job. Why would any of the Sabaku children need jobs? She wanted to ask him where he worked but she didn't think it was a good idea to. "We could meet at the library after that. Did you want to go home first or meet me straight there?" she asked.

"I'll be there at 5:30."

"Monday at 5:30." Sakura said. Staring him straight in the eyes. "You promise you'll show?"

He looked away. "If I said I'll be there I'll be there." He mumbled. Why did it seem like she was making him uncomfortable. All that she was asking was that he not shirk his responsibilities. She shouldn't have had to beg for his assistance. Did he not know the meaning of partner projects?

This boy was impossible. "Ok." Sakura said clapping her two hands together. "This is going to work." She told herself. "I guess I'll be seeing you then." She didn't get a response. Oh boy she better be seeing him, because reputation nothing, she would crush him.

Gaara didn't make any move to show her to the door so Sakura found herself leading herself in that direction with out any guidance.

Hopefully with just a couple days of intense working they could get their projects done and never have to look at one another again.

Things were looking good.

* * *

**I hope that didn't seem rushed. It was rushed. I don't know why but I want to get these chapters out quick quick quick. Its kind of like word vomit. Anyway THANKS SO FREAKIN' MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS. I really gotta tell ya the more I get the more I want to write. **


	4. Chapter 4

" The story needs some spicing up." Whispered Sakura.

Gaara looked up from the book he was reading. " What does that mean?" he asked quietly.

**Its shorter than usual. Sorry. Its not the best quality either. I'm just writing writing writing. **

**Disclaimer I don't own Naruto  
**

* * *

"It needs romance…a hot girl… you know," she answered.

They had been meeting everyday for two weeks but they still hadn't made very much progress. Sakura thought they were having some serious communication problems. It was as if they weren't speaking the same language. Sakura and Gaara couldn't agree on anything.

"I guess we could give it some subtle…romance." He said but the uncertainty was evident in his tone. Like the word 'romance' was some vile infection he didn't want anywhere near his writing.

Sakura shook her head. "No it needs big romance… Earth shattering romance. Titanic Romance."

"If we were making a movie then I might agree with you." Gaara said. " But this is written, it needs to be subtle." He argued.

They couldn't agree on anything. He fought her on everything. He didn't even try to hide the fact he hated her. She didn't know _why_ he hated her. She certainly wasn't going to ask. It bugged her though. This was the first interaction they'd had in their entire lives. What right did he have to dislike her? "You might know a thing or two about writing but _I'm_ the girl _I_ know about romance. Name one good book that has _subtle_ romance."

" The Great Gatsby? Catcher in the Rye? 1984?"

Ok maybe he had a point. But there was no way she could let _him_ know. "Those don't count. You're just disagreeing with me for the sake of disagreeing." Sakura insisted.

"Yes princess, it's all about _you_." The redhead said sarcastically. He grabbed the stack of books that were on the chair text to him and put them on the table effectively making a wall between him and Sakura.

That asshole! In a short fit of anger she flung an arm at the books and shoved them forcefully off the table. They hit the ground with a loud thud, effectively drawing the attention of the entire library, especially the old angry librarians. Gaara glowered at her. "Didn't I ask you not to call me that?" she hissed at him.

That old lady librarian with the hump back really needed to stop staring daggers at them or else Sakura was gonna go over there and hit her with the good book. And those two middle school girls at the table behind them if they didn't stop ogling Gaara she was going to introduce him to them. They wouldn't think he was kind of cute and a little fascinating anymore. Nope they sure wouldn't.

"Why should I?" Gaara asked bending over to pick the books off up the floor. Sakura couldn't help noticing that his arms were surprisingly lean and muscular when he flexed. She continued staring as he set the books back onto the table making another impromptu wall between them. "Its what you are isn't it?"

Why did he always have to sound so pissed off when he talked to her? It made her feel rotten and guilty, like she had committed some unspeakable crime. And he thought she was a princess. He didn't know anything. Not a single thing.

Princesses don't have to drive all the way out to the next town's recycling plant so no one will see her getting rid of the dozens of whiskey bottles the town doctor drinks her way through every week. Princesses aren't abandoned by their ditzy mothers. Princesses don't lie away at night in bed wondering just who the hell their father is. Princesses don't wake up at five a.m. in order to run mini marathons because their boyfriends will break up with them if they gain even a millimeter of fat to their waistline. Princesses don't get stuck working with trolls.

Because she wasn't a princess. Yeah, shit happed, but her life was a whole hell of a lot better than some peoples. Family drama? She dealt with it. Social drama? She dealt with that too. Sakura was strong and she knew she was just another big fish in a little pond. Someday she was going to go out into the real world, so while she was here in Konoha it wasn't enough for her to just be better, she had to be the best. She had to have the best. She had to _know_ the best.

Gaara didn't know shit about crap and he certainly knew nothing about her. It was going to stay that way too. She didn't want him to know anything about her. She didn't want anyone to know those secrets. They weren't the kind of things she could just say aloud.

"Yeah I'm a princess." She said. Gaara looked at her strangely and for a moment she was terrified her tone had betrayed her and he saw through her lie. But he only sneered at her.

"Now was that so hard? Now either keep reading those Navy books or go home." He said testily.

Gaara was always telling her what to do or trying to drive her away from him. Like she was some sort of halfwit. Like she really wanted to be spending her free afternoons with him. For the guy who chose to sit back in the shadows and brood instead of participating in class he was quite the smarty-pants.

Who the hell told him it was ok to be so mean all of the time? How could he not see that things would be much easier if he was just a little nicer to her? Every time he said something snarky or hateful to her it just made her want to say something bitchy back to him. She didn't want to be that girl though. He was bringing out the worst in her.

"Look you're just mad because I insinuated you knew nothing about romance. Which is quite obviously untrue. Girls go crazy over you Gaara, you're the most popular boy in school!" Said as evenly as she could. If there was one thing Sakura knew it was that when you insulted somebody it hurt even more if you said it with a straight face. That way they couldn't just pass it off as an angry rant. That way they might start to believe it. Any why shouldn't he? It was the truth, Gaara was a loser.

But he looked unaffected by her words. And worse he didn't answer. He acted as if she hadn't spoken at all. Oh how Sakura _hated_ to be ignored. It made her go crazy speculating in her mind on what he must be thinking.

She wondered if he was thinking about clever ways to kill her, maybe he was planning on blowing up the library. Gaara wasn't good at science but any idiot could work the Internet and buy explosives. Maybe if they're worked burned up in a library explosion they wouldn't have to turn the project in. If Gaara got arrested they wouldn't have to work together would they?

In reality Gaara was probably thinking nothing of the sorts. He probably wasn't thinking about anything that had anything to do with Sakura. As much as she hated to admit it, he didn't seem to hold any kind of interest in her. Even his malicious intent was idling. Even Sasuke thought about her more.

He was do enthralled in whatever smelly old book he was reading that Sakura didn't think he would mind or notice if she took a little break from her deep sea reading.

When she was sure he wasn't aware of anything other than his own fingers turning the pages of his book, Sakura snuck out the book she had been hiding in her lap. It was titled, _Alcoholism and Family: A Guide. _

She just wanted to know how serious of a problem she had on her hands. If there was anything she could do to help her grandmother… After all if it weren't for Tsunade for all she knew Sakura could be taking her clothes off for money in some dumpy dirty city in order to pay mama Haruno's rent.

Sakura didn't want anyone to know she was worried about it. Especially not Tsunade. So just incase there was a spy in the library, Sakura wrapped the latest issue of Cosmo around the cover of the book using it as a jacket and disguise. It was a lot less scandalous for Sakura to be seen reading sex tips than it was for Sakura to be seen reading information on alcoholism.

But apparently that horrid Gaara was a psychic too. "Binge drinking at the Inuzka's house doesn't make you a alcoholic but it is making you fat." The boy said without looking up from his reading. Aside from his mouth, not a single muscle on his face actually moved. How in the hell did he know what she was reading?

But at least he didn't know _why_ she was reading it. That would have been a complete catastrophe. Still, calling her fat? What kind of moron was he? Did he really think he could call a girl fat and get away unscathed. Even if this was Gaara the monster she was dealing with he was still going to pay for saying such an awful lie.

Just as she was about to open her mouth to verbally tear him a new one he spoke again. "Relax Haruno, you're not a hideous blob… yet. All that time you spend praying to the porcelain god must be working. Keep up the good work!" he said essentially speaking the words into his book. If he hadn't so crudely addressed her by her surname she wouldn't have known he was even talking to her.

She didn't even know what to say to that. How could she confront him if he had his nose buried in that book? It wasn't fair for him to use these guerilla tactics on her. Why did he hate her so much? Did he really think she was fat? How could he accuse her of purging? She exercised and ate right thank you very much!

"Thanks Its nice to know my hard work pays off." She said trying to keep her voice down as not to alert the attention of the evil librarians. "I've got to go get ready for the football game. I'll finish reading these books and taking notes at home." She said gathering up a pile of books and paper. "We can reconvene on Monday. Have a nice weekend Gaara, say 'hi' to your sister for me."

She was in a hurry to leave so as soon as she had a steady hold on the massive pile of research materials in her hands she quickly got up out of her chair and bid goodbye to the table. Sakura returned a couple of books to the cart behind their table and stuffed the rest into her school bag. Like she didn't have enough homework to complete that weekend.

The pink haired girl walked around the table and headed the library exit. But before she got there, for some unknown reason she turned her head and looked over her should. Her eyes met his and for the first time she noticed that they weren't such cold eyes after all. There was a flash of emotion there, some unrecognizable emotion. But just as quickly as it came it disappeared. He looked back down at his book probably pretending it didn't happen.

Because Sakura was sure as hell pretending it didn't happen. She did _not_ just have some kind of moment with Gaara Sabaku. I repeat, she did _not_ just have a moment with him.

He hated her, and she wished he would just jump off a bridge. That's all there was to it.

* * *

Sakura had never been more humiliated in her entire life.

As usual Konoha had won their football game. As usual they partied at Kiba's house. As usual Sasuke got drunk. As usual Sakura drank nothing.

As usual Sasuke dragged her into the guestroom. As usual she took off all her clothes. As usual he didn't bother with foreplay. As usual he called her names.

Midway though was when she started to cry.

Sasuke didn't finish. He was busy pumping inside of her when she very suddenly and very frantically push him off of her with all of her strength. The look on his face had been priceless.

He yelled at her to stop crying. It only made her cry harder. She begged for him to stop touching her. This made him furious so this time he pulled her by the hair and screamed in her face for her to stop crying. She couldn't smell anything but the sour scent of alcohol on his breath. Her crying turned into agonized sobbing. He was so frustrated with her she could see it in his soulless black eyes.

She just lied there suffocating on her tears. She didn't know why she was crying. Most likely she was premenstrual. She was on the pill so she knew she would be starting her period soon, but she was never really a big PMS girl. This was something else entirely. It was something sinister and nameless. It was pure agony.

Sakura wasn't even thinking about anything in particular. None of the problems that kept her up at night even crossed her mind. Her thoughts were blank and empty. She could only feel, and she felt awful. The girl was over come by feelings of guilt and unworthiness. No that's not right, she wasn't unworthy no, she was _worthless_. She had no motivation to move her arms or legs didn't want to talk, she didn't want to listen, she didn't want to breath, and she especially didn't want Sasuke Uchiha anywhere near her naked body. She wanted him to stop looking at her.

"What the Fuck is your problem Sakura?!" he demanded furiously. Her only answer was her muffled crying.

She kept praying that he would just go away. She needed him to just go away. She couldn't stand to be in his presence any longer.

"Sakura…if you don't stop crying this minute then you can consider our relationship over."

Jesus he was threatening her? He was standing in front her with his giant ego and a semi erect penis threatening to break up with her if she didn't stop crying. How did she let things get this bad? Where was this sadness coming from and why had she spent so long with someone who didn't care.

"Go to hell Sasuke. Put your clothes on and GO TO HELL." She half hiccupped half screamed pelting pillow at his head. "GO TO HELL, GO TO HELL, GO TO HELL!" she screeched.

He dodged the pillows and began hurriedly putting his pants on. "Dumb bitch." She heard him call her under his breath. She heard him call her other names but this time she didn't care. She just wanted him gone. Out of the room and out of her life. She couldn't handle Sasuke anymore.

Maybe it was a sign of weakness. Maybe it was a sign of ineptitude but she just didn't care anymore. She was at her breaking point.

Even after she heard Sasuke slam the bedroom door shut she continued to cry into the mattress. It hadn't even been that bad of a day, it wasn't the first time Sasuke had called her names or threatened her. She was used to sacrificing her feelings in favor of his needs. Nothing had changed. She didn't understand what made her flip out like that.

She could here the music blaring outside the tiny guest room. Outside there Sasuke was flirting with Karin and god knows how many other girls. Breaking up meant that she shouldn't care, but it wasn't that she didn't care, it was that being with him was too hard.

How could they all just do it, all the drinking and partying? Who the hell thought it was sexy if a man could drink his weight in beer? Where were girls with hoop earring and torn denim skirts considered so appealing?

Sakura heard the door open and two sets of feet walk inside. She closed her eyes and stuck her fist in her mouth to hide the sounds of her cries. She didn't want to add to her embarrassment by allowing the entire grade to see her in her moment of weakness.

"Come on Sakura lets get your clothes on." Said Ino kneeling down to pet Sakura's head soothingly.

"Sakura I swear to go I'm not peaking." Naruto said in a odd muffled voice. Sakura's eyes were still shut but she imagined that he was holding his hands over his entire face in an effort to give her privacy. "All I want is permission to break Sasuke bastard's face!"

Sakura took a shaky breath putting a stop to her sobs. The tears continued flowing freely down her cheeks. "No he didn't do this. I just…I just…" but she didn't know what had provoked her so she let herself become overtaken by the tears once more. She didn't even notice that Ino was more or less dressing her. She didn't even register the girls hands on her.

When she was sufficiently covered Ino tried to pulled Sakura off the bed but her limbs wouldn't moved. She didn't want to leave the comfort of the guestroom. She wasn't ready to go home.

"A little help here Naruto?" she heard Ino say.

She felt Naruto lift her off the bed. All that football training was finally paying off. But Sakura couldn't comprehend the fact Naruto was carrying her out of the guest room and out of the party.

"She's just a little drunk." Ino's voice assured who ever it was who had stopped them. Sakura was still refusing to open her eyes.

Drunk? Sakura didn't drink. Everyone knew she didn't drink. Who did Ino think would not see through that as a boldfaced lie? She was going to make everyone even more suspicious!

She was too tired to think about it. Crying had left her physically and emotionally exhausted. It wouldn't be long until she found herself waking up the next morning.

She just prayed that when she did wake up all of the dreadful things she just did would turn out to have been just a dream.

* * *

**I know depressing right? Poor S. Anyway THANKS to reviewers. I love you guys. so nice my reviewers are to me. keep up the reviewing and i'll keep up the writing. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry this is a little late. I've calmed down a bit so I haven't been writing as much. Still I hope my readers enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

The students at Konoha High School had several theories about the epic Sasuke/Sakura breakup. They were all more convoluted and unlikely than the next but it was all anyone ever talked about. They were all unabashed by their own gossiping and would even discuss their theories when Sakura was in the room.

Even she wasn't quite sure what happened that night. She hadn't had anything to drink, (not even soda) so that meant it was impossible that she was drugged with some sort of 'make me a hysterical crying emotional mess' drug in her glass.

She wasn't pregnant. When she told Ino about the vomiting Ino immediately ran out to buy the test. For twenty terrifying minutes Sakura thought she was pregnant with Sasuke Uchiha's child. She couldn't think of anything more torturous.

Sakura was ashamed. Breaking up with Sasuke had not been liberating, it did not make her feel happy, more relaxed or more self-assured. She had gotten all weird and crying over nothing. Nothing! How did she turn into that crazy girl who cried and went psycho on their boyfriends because they couldn't control themselves? Sasuke had every right to yell at her.

Her refusal to get mopey and depressed over the breakup resulted in Sakura feeling perpetually irritated. No one was escaping her wrath.

Perhaps it would have been classier for her to ignore it and pretend it she wasn't bothered. That however was proving to be impossible. So instead, she snapped at and took ever opportunity to insult the people around her. The one person who was receiving the full intensity of her bitterness? That would be Gaara Sabaku. Part of Sakura liked blaming him for all of her problems, even though she knew he had nothing to do with them. In fact he seemed quite oblivious to them.

They started limiting their meetings to every other day at the library. For two entire weeks Sakura was a completely heinous bitch toward him and he never so much blinked twice at her. He didn't even give her a snotty response like he used to. He just sat there and took it from her. It made her both furious at him and more importantly at herself. So eventually she knew it had to stop.

Gaara and Sakura were sitting in one of the private study rooms in the back of the library surrounded by towers of books. They had been there for an hour and neither one had spoken a word to the other. Finally Gaara broke the silence.

"We need to take out the part you wrote about the knife fight in Panama." He said staring at the section she had spent hours writing.

"Sure. Whatever you want." Sakura replied pathetically. The Panama entry had been her favorite part of the story. But she didn't feel like fighting him today.

He glanced sideways at her. " I think we should also get rid of the character Sofia, all together."

"Good idea."

"Lets also give Faucon a peg leg and eye patch."

Sakura shrugged. "Its your call." She said disinterestedly. In her opinion all of his ideas were unlike him and would ruin the story…but it was just a story. A stupid English project neither of them actually wanted to do. So if he wanted to butcher it so be it.

Gaara put down the papers and his pen. " What's wrong with you?" he asked outright staring at her. It was the first time in two weeks he had looked at her face.

"Nothings wrong with me…What's wrong with _you_?" she said confused.

"You're not even trying to fight me on the changes. On Monday you practically bit my head off because I wanted to change the spelling of a minor characters name. And as far as what's wrong with me…don't you usually tell me?"

For the first time _ever_ she felt guilty for being rude to Gaara. "I suppose occasionally I talk about your personality flaws." She said with a small smile. "But I always did that. Why did you suddenly stop fighting back?"

The redhead leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. "Why? Well, I guess because you're too easy of a target. There's not point wasting time on a mess like you."

Sakura's smiled widened. It was as if he was saying he wasn't fighting with her because she was already in such bad shape. "I had forgotten who your sister was." She said thoroughly amused by her revelation.

"What does that have to do with anything?" He said frowning and crossing his arms.

"She's the break-up queen. I've never seen a guy regret dumping a girl so badly before I met Temari. She's a legend." Sakura explained.

"I still have no idea what you're talking about."

"You like to act all angry and emo, but deep down you're a giant softie aren't you?" she said poking him in the arm.

The boy growled. "I don't _act_ like anything. I am what I am, believe what you want. I don't give a shit." He turned his back to her and reached in to his bag. Sakura watched him take out a pack of Marlboro's and a Bic lighter.

"You can't smoke that in here!" She cried. "You're going to get us kicked out!"

He disregarded her completely and put the lit cigarette in his mouth. Gaara was smoking in the library! The place children came to read books! He was poisoning them with his second hand smoke! That boy was a menace to society. Sakura need to find a way to get him to put that thing out.

"Gaara! Second hand smoke is toxic, it has carbon monoxide in it… you're going to kill me." She said crossly. "You better put that out right now."

"Relax…" He said taking a long drag and blowing the white tobacco smoke out of his nostrils.

"I'm serious Gaara. Cigarettes are really bad for you! One cigarette shortens your life span by eleven whole minutes!" Sakura ranted. "Cigarette use has also been shown to cause multiple types of cancer, heart disease, respiratory disease, circulatory disease, birth defects and emphysema. You might also leave a lit cigarette somewhere and start a fire. Fires kills-"

She was cut off by Gaara sticking the cigarette between her rosebud lips. Sakura gasped and as a result accidentally inhaled a deep breath of the smoke. The minute the hot n' spicy smoke found her airway Sakura began coughing violently. The stick fell from her mouth and landed on the floor but she continued to cough until her throat was raw and tears leaked from her stinging wet eyes.

Gaara picked up the cigarette from the floor and put it out on the sole of his boot. He had an infuriatingly satisfied look on his stupid face. Him and his stupid cancer sticks. Sakura hoped the librarians hadn't smelled the smoke. Oh god that was a close call! The smoke detectors my have gotten set off and then the sprinklers would have sprayed water on everyone and the books. That would have been awful. How could Gaara have been so careless?

"Seriously Gaara?!?!" She said her voice shaking with rage. "Are you on crack? Do you have any idea the kind of trouble we could get in for that?"

But he looked unfazed by all of it. "I thought the nicotine might help you to relax." He said. "You looked like you needed to relax."

"You are the single stupidest person on the face of the planet, did you know that? How was sticking one of those awfully smelly things in my mouth supposed to help me relax?"

"Well, if it was really that terrible than why are you smiling?" he asked pointing to her face.

She instinctively reached up to touch her mouth. "I'm not smiling... Am I?" Gaara nodded his response and Sakura realized, "Hey you're kind of smiling to!"

"No I'm not." He said. But it was a lie. Gaara _was_ smiling. It was slight and almost unnoticeable but the two corners of his mouth were very slightly upturned. It was the closest thing to a smile she had even seen grace his features.

"You are too Gaara Sabaku." Sakura said laughing. She leaned in and poked his two cheeks with her two fingers. "If I didn't know better I would say you were having fun. Are you having fun with me?" she asked in a joking voice.

It was then that it dawned on Sakura. She was _flirting_ with Gaara. She was _flirting_ with Gaara Sabaku! Was she the one who had been smoking crack after all? Why the hell was she flirting with him? Had her break up with Sasuke made her that desperate and needy?

"I think you've finally lost touch in reality, Princess." Said Gaara. He was voicing her exact thought. She really must be going crazy, because now she was _seeing_ things too. It wasn't possible that Gaara had the faintest hint of a blush on his checks. It just wasn't possible.

"I haven't visited reality in a long time." She said. "I mean I was dating _Sasuke_ for God's sake. I must have had my heads in the clouds right?"

Gaara looked away from her. He was always looking away from her! "I heard him telling some guys in the locker room during gym class that he broke up with you because you had Gonorrhea." He said.

That lying asshole! She was going to have to find Sasuke and kill him. After they had dated for so long…How could he talk that way about her. Why was he such a prick? At that moment, she actually preferred gloomy Gaara and his stinky tobacco. Sasuke must have some sort of personality disorder. He really was a bastard.

" He said that about me." Sakura whispered.

"Uh… You're not going to cry now, are you?" Gaara asked a little uncomfortably.

"Cry? _Cry_? Are you crazy? I'm going to go out there and _castrate_ that boy!" She had to get some sort of revenge on him. How dare he spread rumors like that around about her. They were even worse than the ones that said _she _broke up with him because he wouldn't promise her a piece of the Uchiha fortune. As if she would _want_ his dirty money. "That son of a bitch." She hissed.

"I think you need another cigarette." Gaara said reaching for his bag.

"I swear to God, Gaara if you light another one of those things I'll shove it up your nose!" Sakura threatened, her lips pursed with suppressed fury. "This is all your fault anyways. If you hadn't put me in such a bad mood I would have been able to put up with Sasuke's antics."

The redhead rolled his eyes. "I don't have anything to do with your relationship with Sasuke. Not everything is about you."

"Its about you! You're a sociopath jerk face mean pants!"

"It seems you've finally run out of intelligible insults. Not that you ever had any."

Sakura through her hands up in disgusted resignation. " I _hate_ you, Gaara Sabaku. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." She said as venomously as her usually soft feminine voice would allow. At that point she really did think she might hate him. He made her body temperature rise and her heart thump like a fish out of water. Whenever she was around him her face flushed a dark hue of magenta and her eyes burned bright acid green. Gaara turned her into something hot, bright, and colorful. She resented him for having this kind of power. "Drop dead Gaara Sabaku. Drop dead."

She snatched all the books and papers out from in front of him. Like hell was she going to leave him with the project and let him ruin Panama and give her characters peg legs. Like hell Gaara Sabaku, like hell! Sakura shoved all of the papers and books into her schoolbag ignoring Gaara's protests and complaints. God he made her so mad!

The worst part was, the more familiar his face became, and the more she began to feel accustomed to his presence, the less strange he seemed. She had gotten used to Gaara Sabaku.

Even as he stood yelling for her to give him the papers back, even when he gave her what was once a petrifying glare, even when he tried to use the inch he had on her to intimidate her into giving him the work back…she wasn't afraid of him. Part of her was actually reveling in all the attention he was giving her. Part of her _liked_ the way it felt to have him looming over her. He smelled like a fusion of chocolate and cigarettes. It made her feel a bit lightheaded but not in an entirely unpleasant way.

So when she stalked off dramatically stomping her feet as she left, satisfied that she still had all of the papers in her bag, she felt slightly panicked. She had a developing attraction to Konoha High School's resident mental case.

* * *

She should never have left the library.

"M-mom…what are you doing here?" Sakura stuttered. She had walked into the house to find her mother, Tsunade, and a strange man all gathered around the kitchen table.

It had been years since she had seen her mother but the woman looked exactly the same as Sakura remembered her to. Her hair was thinner and a less lustrous shade of pink than Sakura's own and her eyes were brown like Tsunade's but Sakura mother was still a beautiful woman.

The man sitting to her left was clearly her new boyfriend. He was neither fat nor skinny, had a forgettable face, and boring hair. If he was dating her bother Sakura was sure he had to be some kind of loser. Her mother was a loser magnet after all.

Sakura could tell that they had all been sitting waiting for her to return from the library. It didn't seem like much conversation had taken place. They were silent when she walked in. Tsunade look at ease with the situation but Sakura's mother looked uncharacteristically nervous and her boyfriend looked just plain uncomfortable.

"Well Sakura darling, Thanksgiving is a week away and we thought we would come early and spend the week with you. It's been so long since we last saw each other and Johnny was so excited to meet you!" her mother replied smiling far too widely for Sakura's liking.

The young girl turned to her grandmother. " I thought we agreed that it would just be us two for the holiday. You didn't tell me she was coming." She said out loud.

"Oh well sweetheart I wanted it to be a surprise!" Mrs. Haruno butted in. "I know how much you love surprises!"

Actually, Sakura hated surprises. If that woman knew anything about her daughter she would know Sakura despised the unpredictable. Her favorite TV station was the weather channel and she went nuts when they got it wrong.

"Oh yeah," Said Sakura with false enthusiasm. "I love me a good surprise."

Mrs. Haruno laughed shrilly. "Oh its so good to see you again! Come over here and give your Mama a hug!"

Sakura stayed rooted to the spot. "Uh…I'm just getting over with really nasty virus. I don't want to get you sick. Lets save the hug for later Ok?" She lied.

The woman hit her boyfriend on the shoulder. "What did I tell you Johnny? My daughter is always looking after me! Such a good girl…"

"Its very nice to meet you Sakura." Said Johnny. " Your mom has told me so much about you."

Even his voice was dull. If Sakura had to guess she would wager he stocked shelves at some mini mart. Or maybe he worked in the mailroom at some insurance company. Whatever it was, it had to be a job that lacked basic human interaction. "Well I haven't actually heard from my mom in almost a year… So I can't say I've heard _anything_ about you."

Mrs. Haruno laughed once more and Tsunade shot Sakura a look that said quite plainly, _behave or else!_ But the teenager didn't even care.

So as she sat through a painfully awkward dinner with her grandmother and two guests Sakura was for the most part playing nice. She learned that her mother was working as a masseuse and that's how she met Johnny. Johnny was a salesman working for the company that sold massage tables and manicure booths. It had been love at first sight of course. Johnny had taken her out for lobster on their very first date. Apparently he was quite the gentleman. Sakura's mother was excited because their two-month anniversary was rapidly approaching. They were planning on moving in together.

"And you can come visit us!" Her mother said excited. "Maybe you can stay for a while…"

"Oh that sounds like a great idea." Tsunade answered for her. There was something strange about how quickly she was agreeing to the notion of Sakura staying with that flake of a woman. " Sakura and I are always talking about how we wish she could spend more time with you."

It seemed like everyone was on crack that day. Sakura never _ever_ expressed any desire to see her mother. It wasn't even mentioned in the daily conversations Sakura shared with her grandmother. What the hell was going on?

"I had thought about checking out some colleges in New York." Sakura said conversationally.

"Johnny went to college!" Mrs. Haruno said proudly putting her arm around him.

"Well how bout that." Her daughter said forcing a smile. Johnny was a loser through and through. Worse though, Sakura had finally realized that her mother was an even bigger loser.

It became silent aside from the scraping of utensils against the ceramic dishes. Sakura prayed that the meal would end soon. It seemed to drag on for forever.

"So Ma told me you were at the library studying with a boy. Is this that Uchiha boy you've been dating?" Mrs. Haruno asked seemingly taking a shallow interest in her daughter's life. As of Sakura would talk about boys with her. Who did this woman think she was that she could just waltz into her life and get all friendly.

"Sasuke and I are no longer together. I was at the library with a boy from English class. We're doing a project together." Sakura explained trying to give her mother as little insight into her life as possible.

But its seemed Mrs. Haruno couldn't take a hint. " What's this boy's name? Do you like him? Is he cute."

Sakura put her fork down and tried not to let her annoyance show. "His name is Gaara Sabaku. He's the mayor's son. No, I do not like him."

"But he's cute?"

"He's hideous. He's like a gargoyle with acne and a slathering mouth. He often smells like urine too."

"Gaara is Karura's yongest." Tsunade offered. "He is a bit of a loner. Sakura hasn't had the easiest time getting along with him."

"Oh Sakura, haven't I told you? When a boy is mean to you for no reason its usually because he likes you." Sakura's mother said slowly as if talking at a normal pace would confuse her daughter. Like Sakura knew nothing about boys.

"Thanks for the advice mom." She said flatly.

The woman smiled and nodded. "Oh isn't this fun? The great Haruno mother daughter team reunited at last!"

Sakura couldn't help but think that it was going to be a long ass week.

* * *

**This is the bottom of the page! Aren't you glad this one wasn't as dreadfully depressing as the last chapter? I sure am! The chapter 6 might take a little bit longer to release. I'm going home for the holiday which means seeing my parents. They don't like it when I'm on the computer too often so I won't have as much time to write. And I'm kind of planning for the next chapter to be epic. Anyway, I enjoyed all of your reviews! And I can't thank you enough for sending them my way. You all are really the greatest and I love that you enjoy reading my shenanigans. :) So leave some more reviews if you're feeling up to it. :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter is a little longer than usual so I hope it makes up for the last chapters being so short. **

**This is my very first dedicated chapter ! and it is going out to Miss. Nyanonymous who is kind of an Original Gangster. So go read her stuff. You won't be sorry. **

**Also please enjoy the chapter if your feeling up to it.**

**Also I do not own Naruto. (Or the disney channel )  
**

* * *

"And I haven't even told you the worst part… She brought me a present!" Sakura said to Ino.

"Oh god not Miley Cyrus paraphernalia! My aunt out in L.A keeps sending me Hannah Montana and Howard or Paul…I can't remember the kids name…Jonas shit." Ino said looking a little stricken by the memory.

"Hey, come on now don't rag on the Disney Channel, we've gotten a lot from it over the years." Sakura lectured. "And no, she didn't give me anything like that. She gave me lingerie!"

"Ah. I see… Sasuke never asked you to wear lingerie? Chouji likes when I buy the edible kind."

"Sasuke asked me to dress like a man once. It was kind of the most bizarre experience of my entire life. After told me he didn't care what I wore as long as I put out." Sakura said remembering how her ex boyfriend never had the patience for fancy panties and he had enough trouble with the clasps on normal bras.

"If you ask me Sakura it was good that you got out while you still could. I never realized it before by that boy is kind of a freak."

"Yeah…" said Sakura absently. She thought complaining to Ino at lunch would make her feel better about this mother thing, but it wasn't. There was something strange about her mother's reappearance that Sakura just couldn't put her finger on. Truthfully, she just wanted her mother to go back to New York and never bother her again.

"So now that you're a free woman is there anyone out there you've got your eyes on? Don't you think its about time you found yourself a nice rebound man to keep your mind off your troubles?" asked Ino.

"Hmm." Said Sakura faking contemplation. She didn't actually think she was ready for dating someone else. Dating was so stressful. "Well I was thinking about finding an older man. Maybe a senior…"

"Nice! We'll have to stay on the lookout for one of those."

Sakura didn't answer. She stared at her sandwich thoughtfully. It was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Her mother had woken up extra early to make it for her. Peanut butter and jelly made Sakura nauseous but she didn't have the heart to tell the woman that. Not when she had spent thirty minutes on one measly sandwich. There couldn't have been a more pathetic creature on the planet.

She often wondered who took care of her mother when the woman wasn't with a boyfriend. It seemed she was incapable of even the simplest of tasks. How had she grown up with such a revolutionary women like Tsunade and not have it rub off on her. It was ridiculous.

"Sakura?" she heard a male voice call her out of her reverie. She looked up and saw it was Gaara standing at the edge of her and Ino's table for two.

"Eh? Gaara?" she answered surprised he had sought her out and at school of all places. "Um… What can I do for you?" She asked not clear on how their interactions were supposed to be in front of other people.

"You've got my notebook. Yesterday when you took the stuff for the project you also picked up my notebook. I need it back." He said quietly. To Ino it probably sounded normal enough, but Sakura knew his voice well by now and she could ear the edge to it. Was there something scandalous in this notebook after all? Sakura had been so wrapped up in the mama drama she hadn't even noticed she had his precious notebook.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I took it." She apologized. Normally he would have gotten bitched out for even talking to her in public, but Ino had a calming effect on her. And part of her felt bad about separating him from the only friend he had.

"Sure, I believe you." Gaara said his tone suggesting otherwise.

"Really, my mom's visiting so I've had some things on my mind. I haven't even opened my school bag. I really didn't know I took it. It was an accident."

The boy shrugged obviously not caring for her reasoning. "Whatever. I just want it back."

"I don't have it right now. All that stuff is out home…"

Gaara stared at her.

"I guess you can come pick it up if you want. I should be home all afternoon." Sakura offered unsure.

He looked pensive for a moment. "I suppose that's OK…" he said. Sakura could still tell he was less than thrilled with the idea. She wondered whether or not she should try harder to communicate that she hadn't read his shit and that she didn't care what was in that journal of his.

"Right." She said nodding her head awkwardly. Did she really want to see him where she lived? Was she going to have to invite him inside? Would her mother see him. Oh god she hoped her mother wouldn't be home when he came over. Not that she wanted to be alone in an empty house with him. Oh god her brain was doing something weird. She had to put an end to it. "See you later then." She said in a fake cheerful voice.

"Yeah…uh bye…" he replied lifting one hand in a farewell gesture. He turned and walked in the opposite direction, probably headed toward his smoking spot. Sakura watched him until he was out of sight.

Why were they so shy around each other all of the sudden? Just yesterday she had been yelling insults at him and he had been sticking tobacco in her mouth. God only knows what Ino who had been silently watching their exchange must have been thinking about the two of them. Ino could really have quite the imagination.

"That was weird" Sakura's friend said scratching her the platinum blond hair on her head. "I've never actually seen him talk to another human being before. He's actually got a bit of a sexy voice doesn't he? You know hoarse and gravelly…"

"I hadn't noticed. We actually can't stand each other. That's the most civil conversation we've ever had."

"Really?" Ino mused. "I think he likes you. He stares at you in class but he was having trouble look at you while you were talking. It means you make him nervous."

"You're definitely wrong on that one. I'm fairly certain I'm the person he despises most in the world." Sakura said trying to sound casual. In reality she was interested in hearing more of Ino's theories on the signs Gaara dug her.

"Who knows…its just Gaara after all. There's no way you would guys would ever get together."

"Yeah… As if that would ever happen." Sakura said forcing herself to laugh.

Oh god what the hell was wrong with her?

* * *

"It was such a blast from the past walking downtown today." Said Mrs. Haruno. "Johnny absolutely loves Konoha. If we decide to have children together we want to raise them here."

So did she mean she would actually raise a child here, or that she would push out another baby and leave it on Tsunade's doorstep, or what? What would Sakura's life have turned out like if Tsunade hadn't taken her in? It was a scary thought.

"Yeah, Konoha's a great town. Lots to do, lots to see…" Sakura said resisting the urge to say something snotty.

They were alone in the kitchen eating the after school snack Mrs. Haruno had prepared for them. Johnny was upstairs showering and Tsunade was out in the clinic. So Sakura got stuck babysitting her mother.

"Sweetheart I was wondering if you had given anything thought to what we talked about last night." The older woman said in what she probably thought was a nonchalant voice, but Sakura could see that there was some sort of agenda.

"Yeah I guess I could visit you in New York. It's a cool city…"

"Actually, I was thinking you could come and stay with us on a more permanent basis. Maybe finish out high school in New York. Doesn't that sound like fun?" Her mother asked hopefully.

Sakura's jaw dropped. Live with her? Live with her again in New York? Was she out of her mind? Why the hell would Sakura leave her life? Albeit it _was_ a boring life, but still it was a life nonetheless. This was where her friends were, this is where Tsunade was…the woman standing before her might has well be a stranger. Sakura didn't know her anymore; they hadn't seen each other in years!

"That's a really kind offer…" Sakura said slowly. "But I'm really happy here. Konoha is my home." She hoped her mother wouldn't understand what she meant.

"I know you think that honey," her mother said in what sounded like to Sakura was a condescending tone. "But there's a whole world outside of this dumpy little town. If you don't get out now you'll never be able to survive in that world."

She wanted to tell that woman she could go to hell. Seriously? _Seriously_? This lady was going to give her a lecture about the real world and learning to take care of one's self? This was the woman who couldn't keep a steady job. This was the woman who didn't know how to pump her own gas, change her own tire, or manage to shut the car door without locking her keys inside. She jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend and from city to city. She never contributed anything to the world; she was a waste of carbon and space. How dare she…_how dare she_ use that tone of voice with Sakura and call Konoha a 'dumpy little town'? The people of Konoha took Sakura in when she was abandoned by the very person insulting it.

But she was her mother; it was against the rules to bitch out your own mother. She was the one who gave birth to Sakura after all. And not to mention Tsunade would be royally pissed at Sakura for being rude.

Wait until Tsunade heard the crap her daughter was spewing at her granddaughter. Tsunade would get a kick out of that. Sakura was positive that never in a million years would Tsunade even consider letting Sakura live in New York with her stupid mother. It was the single worst idea of the century.

Tsunade would die if Sakura became like her mother. Even if Sakura began to dress like her mother Tsunade would have a fit. Somehow Sakura didn't think white leather pants and red satin belly shirts were her style. She was a simple sole who appreciated designer jeans and cotton tea shirts. It wasn't about what brand of clothing you wore or where you bought it, it was about how it fit and what color looked best with your skin and hair color. Apparently her mother had missed out on this vital fashion tip.

Sakura looked at her mother and smiled politely. "Gee, that does sound like a good idea and all, but for now I think I want to stay in Konoha. Thanks for the offer though. I really love spending time with you mom." She said lying through her teeth.

"Sakura darling-" The woman tried.

"Thank you really, but I've got some home work to do. We can catch up some more at dinner." Sakura said cutting her mother off. She had had enough of the bullshit and games. She grabbed her book bag from the chair next to her and secured it over her shoulder. With one last smile and wave at her mother Sakura scurried up the stares and escaped into her room.

Sakura liked her room best out of all the rooms in the house. Everything was bright and spacious. Her furniture was made out of light unstained mahogany, and for someone who wholeheartedly denied being a princess her king sized canopy bed and six-foot tall armoire were very regal in design. But it was her big bay windows that shone light on her hardwood floors and cleanly painted walls and cornflower blue bedspread. It made her room _hers_.

Tsunade wasn't allowed in there, Sakura kept it clean by herself so she knew when someone else had gone through her things. She would recognize if even the smallest trinket out of place. So when Sakura walked into her room she knew right away that her mother had been in there. God that woman was beginning to get on her nerves.

Despite the fact that it was a Friday Sakura sat down at her desk and vowed to finish as much homework as she could before her grandmother returned home. It was an enormous relief not having to go to Sasuke's football games. She thought perhaps of going to cheer on Naruto, but she decided they weren't on that level of public friendship yet.

There was something so satisfying about solving physics problems. Math was something Sakura really got on well with. It wasn't like English, there was no uncertainty, and you weren't at the mercy of some teacher or critic. In math there were finite truths. There were laws and theorems to follow. It was good. Good good.

So she sat and diligently studying because she was going to get out of Konoha on her own merit, when she was ready to leave. She heard heavy footsteps climbing the stairs and she recognized the rhythmic thumps of her grandmother's gait. It was only a matter of time until the knock came.

There were three firm knocks on the door and than her grandmother's voice. "Sakura can I come in?" she asked.

"Sure." Sakura called putting her pencil down and turning toward the door.

Tsunade came in shutting the door behind her. "I just got done talking to your mother…" she said carefully.

Sakura let out a short laugh. "The woman is crazy right? Me? Go live with her? That's insane!"

"It might be fun… It might be exciting living with her."

The teenager scoffed. "Oh please…living with her would be a nightmare."

Tsunade chewed on her lip. "It might be fun to get out of Konoha though, this place can be kind of boring."

Sakura regarded the old woman quizzically. " What are you saying? It's almost as if you _want_ me to leave."

"No! No, no, no Sakura of course I don't want you to leave!" she said fervently denying it. " I just think it might be in your best interest."

What the hell? In her best interest? That was preposterous! Things were great for Sakura in Konoha. A little boring… but she was still thriving. Why was this happening? Tsunade would never want Sakura to leave for a lame ass reason like that.

"What aren't you telling me?" She asked her seriously. "I'm not an idiot I know something is going on. Whatever it is you better tell me right now. Come on! We never hide things from each other!"

She heard Tsunade take a deep breath. "It might be better if you just trusted me on this one. Sakura you know I would never do anything to hurt you."

The pink haired girl slammed a fist on her desk. " You're hurting me right now! How am I supposed to trust you if you don't trust me? Is mom suing you for custody or something? Are her and this Johnny creature getting married? WE don't have to let her push herself into our lives."

"She didn't _push _herself into anyone's life." The older woman said sternly. "She is your mother Sakura."

"She's a bimbo!" Sakura shouted. "I can't believe you're doing this to me! I cannot fucking believe that you of all people would pass me off like some baton in a relay. Why don't you want me anymore?" she asked crossing her arms childishly.

"Sakura… I told you it has nothing to do with me not wanting you."

"Then what's going on Tsunade?" she whispered. " Can you just tell me what's going on? If you tell me maybe I can fix it?"

"Its not something you can fix. Its not something that's you did…"

"Tsunade?"

The older woman put a hand on her granddaughter's shoulder. "I'm sick Sakura."

"Sick?" Sakura said skeptically. "Tsunade you're not sick! You're as healthy as a horse."

"I've made some unwise choices… and now I'm paying for them. I'm _very_ sick."

This was impossible. It couldn't be happening! Not to her grandmother… "OK, so what do you have? Is it like cancer or diabetes? There are treatments we can try. Medicine has come a long way. You should know all this!"

Tsunade closed her eyes. "I have Liver Disease. My liver is rotting and I'm dying."

Sakura felt her throat close up. She was… she was what? Dying? No! No! No! This had to be some kind of joke. Tsunade didn't drink all that much. There had to be some kind of mistake. "Is this for real?"

Tsunade nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry Sakura."

"Well you can just have part of my liver! There has got to be something we can do to fight this." She said hurriedly.

"Its too late Sakura. The damage has been done. I've drunk far too much in my lifetime. It's not just my liver it's my heart too. My body won't survive a transplant. And I'm not willing to shorten your life either."

"No." Said Sakura willing back the tears brimming in her eyes. "You can't just give up! Why are you just giving up?!"

"It's not giving up. I've had a lot of time to think about it… I've lived a good life. It's about time I've accepted that this is what the choices I made did to my body."

"What do you mean you've had a long time to think about this? How long have you known for?" Sakura asked.

"A while…" She admitted.

"A while? A while? Oh my god! Oh my god! You knew! You knew and you didn't tell me!" Sakura said outraged. "And the black dress…" She put a hand over her mouth like she was going to be sick. "You made such a fuss over that black dress so I would have something to wear to your funeral!" The girl started to cry. " Oh my god… How did I not notice this?"

"Sakura…" Her grandmother said gently trying to pull her into a hug. The girl shook her off.

"I can't believe you would do this to me! We're you even going to tell me? Or were you just going to give me to my mother and let me live on in ignorance?"

"You have to understand…" Tsunade said trying to calm her down.

"No!" She cried hysterical with sadness and rage. "That's where you're wrong. I don't have to understand anything!"

Tsunade stood up straight and put on her no nonsense face. "Sakura Haruno you need to calm down this instance. It's time for you to grow up." She said sternly. "Now get a hold of yourself and go clean up for dinner. Your mother and Johnny are taking us out."

"I'm not going anywhere with them." Sakura spat her face red. She wiped her nose on her sleeve. "I'm not going anywhere with you either. I'm going to stay right here until you decide to stop being such a coward."

The old woman's shoulders slumped warily. "If you don't stop this right now you're going to end up going to bed hungry."

"Please leave me alone." Sakura begged her. "Just take my mother and her pimp and get out of here. I want to be by myself. I can't look at you right now."

Tsunade nodded. "We're going to talk about this again later tonight. Please try to have yourself calmed down by then. Crying isn't going to get us anywhere. You need to act like an adult if you want to be treated as such."

"Just get out." Sakura whispered staring at the woman with dead eyes. " Just get out."

Sakura hugged her knees and watched her grandmother leave the room. When she was sure Tsunade was downstairs, she darted over to her bed and threw herself onto the mattress. Sakura hugged her pillow and let herself cry.

There wasn't a single person in the world she loved more than her grandmother. Her grandmother was the most amazing woman she knew. Sakura admired her more than words could describe. It wasn't fair that she was going to die. It wasn't fair that she sprung this on Sakura when she did.

How on earth could the woman believe that if she were sick and dying Sakura would want to be anyplace but her side? Why would she think that when Sakura was sick with grief she would want to be anyplace but Konoha. How could her stupid mother act so indifferent to it all? She _knew_ what was going on but she still flitted about chatting with her boyfriend and going for happy little walks in town. Why wasn't she upset her mother was dying?

Sakura thought there was nothing in the world she wouldn't do to help her grandmother. Why wouldn't Tsunade want part of her live… or better yet part of Sakura's mother's liver? It wasn't selfish because they needed her! She would be staying alive for their sakes.

She heard the garage door open and the car start in the driveway. They were probably going one town over for a fancy dinner. Tsunade had had on earrings and lipstick, which usually meant they were going someplace nice for steaks. Trust Sakura's mother to take advantage of her hospitality.

How could she eat steak knowing that her insides were in such bad shape? Why was she still drinking? Why couldn't she have been addicted to exercise or online porn? Something that wasn't going to cause cirrhosis of the liver. It just wasn't fair.

Who would be the town doctor when Tsunade was gone? There was no on else in town qualified for the job. People where going to get sick and there was going to be no one to help them. They would all just suffer and die like her grandmother.

Sakura wondered who else knew about Tsunade's illness. Minato and Kushina probably knew. She doubted their son Naruto knew anything. He would have told Sakura if he did. Shizune probably knew too, but other than that Sakura didn't know whom else.

It struck her how badly she could have used Sasuke at that moment. This was the reason smart girls wasted their time with boyfriends. Even though he was a bastard on occasion he was good company.

Would Sakura miss him if she ended up moving to New York? It wasn't even something she should be considering. She was_ not_ leaving Konoha. There was a way to fix it and she was going to find it. She had never come across a problem or challenge she couldn't solve.

She squeezed her pillow more tightly. Right now she was in no state to come up with any solutions. When Tsunade came back to talk to her _rationally_ then Sakura would be able to figure something out.

Before she knew it Sakura had stopped crying and was drifting off to sleep. Crying was actually more exhausting then running on the treadmill. She was just about to fall unconscious when she heard the doorbell ring.

Who the fuck was ringing her doorbell during while she was crying herself to sleep? Didn't these people have any respect for girls having emotional breakdowns? She slowly hoisted herself up and stumbled over to the mirror.

She looked like a wreck.

Whoever it was who was at the door better not have a camera with them. Not that she wouldn't have broken it on first sight.

Sakura stumbled down the hallway wiping her eyes and fixing her hair in an effort to make herself somewhat presentable. She knew it was futile. The eye makeup she had carefully applied earlier was now smeared down her cheeks and her hair was all frizzy and sticking up in the back from rubbing it against the pillows.

Her stomach growled and she remotely hoped that it was someone carrying a hot pizza. Extra cheese. Or maybe a big chocolate cake…Sakura could really use some chocolate cake.

She stumbled with the locks on the door but eventually was able to get the door open.

Gaara Sabaku was standing awkwardly on her doorstep.

All Sakura could do was stare. She had completely forgotten he was supposed to be stopping by. It must have been close to freezing outside yet he was wearing short sleeves. Gaara didn't have a car so he must have walked all the way over. His nose and hands were red. He must have been cold.

"Um…hey…" He said sounding quite nervous.

"Gaara…" Sakura whispered and then cleared her throat. " I'm sorry I forgot you were coming."

"Are you alright? Should I come back later? He asked sounding like he might actually be concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine." Sakura said trying to sound composed. "You can come in if you want." She said opening the door and standing aside. "It must be cold out there."

"Thanks." He replied stepping through the doorway. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be alright?" She asked defensively.

"I'm not here to fight with you. I just want my notebook back." He said sticking out his hand waiting for her to give it to him.

Shit! Where did she put that thing? "It's up in my room…we can go get it," she offered. Completely missing the fact that she just invited Gaara into the most sacred room in the house. But he looked unperturbed so why not?

"Lead the way." He said and followed her up the stairs.

When they got to her room he waited silently in the doorway. Sakura strode over to the massive pile of books and papers covering her desk and began to rummage through them. "Its in here somewhere…" She said abstractedly. Sakura looked for another couple of minutes but couldn't find the notebook. Her brain didn't seem to be functioning properly. Frustrated she stood back up and wove her fingers through her hair. "It should be in here."

"You can't find it?" Gaara asked walking toward her.

"No I _can _find it." She said heatedly. For some reason the back of her neck felt hot and her eyes were begging to brim with tears again. It was just a stupid notebook. It was just stupid Gaara's stupid notebook. There was nothing to get upset over. "I _can _find it, it's _here_." She said her voice wavering.

"Sakura." He said closing in on her.

"I promise I'll find it Gaara, I know its here." She said her voice becoming high and hysterical. "I'm really sorry!"

Why couldn't she find it? Gaara was going to be so angry if she couldn't find it. He was going to think she was trying to steal it from him or this was just another thing she was doing to drive him crazy. But it wasn't like that! She was really trying to find the book but it wasn't in the pile. Could she have left it in the library?

She looked up and saw Gaara was standing right in front of her. "Sakura." He said putting his hands on her arms. "The notebook is on the top of the pile." He nodded toward where the notebook was set. "I'm not angry with you."

"Oh." Sakura said feeling incredibly foolish. But it was too late the damage was done. There were already two fat tears dripping down her cheeks. She looked down at Gaara's hands that were still gripping her arms and then back up at his face. His light eyes were regarding hers quietly and his mouth was a grim line. He didn't look mad at her at all. He looked worried.

"Are you sure your alright? Sakura you're crying." He said softly.

She shook her head. And he began to rub her arms in an effort to soothe her. She had been so horrible to him and now he was trying to comfort her. Gaara was good. Good good.

It was as if her body was moving on its own accord. Her arms moved to wrap themselves around his middle and his hands didn't stop them. Almost instantly he removed his grip from her biceps. One of his arms snaked itself around her waist while the other hand went up to smooth the hair on the back of her head gently.

His kindness sent her over the edge. Before she knew it she was crying again. She took a step forward and he held her closer. She buried her face into the crook of his pale neck and inhaled his scent. Why did he always smell faintly of chocolate? For some reason she began to cry harder. She was losing it.

She felt his hand softly caressing the skin on the nape of her neck. Sasuke had never touched her so affectionately before. Sakura had never thought to expect this from Gaara. Her heart felt as if it was on fire and her cheeks were probably crimson. Oh god she was probably getting her snot all over him. She pushed him away.

"My nose is dripping on you." She said miserably laughing through her tears.

He reached behind him a grabbed a Kleenex off her desk. "Here, don't worry about it." He said handing it to her. She noticed that he still had one hand holding her waist.

"Sorry." He said noticing where her eyes were concentrating and he removed the hand.

Sakura shook her head, put the tissue down and reached for his hand. "It felt nice." She murmured. At that moment she would give anything to return to his embrace.

He looked down at their joined hands and watched Sakura intertwine finger with him. He stared for a moment. "You don't know what your doing." He warned her.

But his efforts to deter her were futile. "Maybe I know _exactly_ what I'm doing." She said more confidently than she felt. Her head was spinning but she knew what she wanted from him. Sakura leaned forward and pressed her lips to his in the swiftest and softest kiss barely giving her time to register the sensation of his warm chapped lips against hers.

When she pulled away she could see that his eyes were closed. He looked lost in thought and he let out a long breath, which she felt tickle her face. Sakura shivered for a moment, she was terrified he was going to reject her. She really didn't want that but not because it would be embarrassing to be rejected by Gaara of all people, but because every bone in her body was screaming for him to hold her again.

He yanked his hand from her and brought it to the back of her head. He threaded it through her hair, her breath hitched and then he grabbed her, pulling her into one heart-stopping, earth shattering kiss.

She thought she had to be dreaming. Nothing in her entire life had ever felt like that before. Her very soul was aflame. He was kissing her so frantically as if at any moment she would change her mind and push him away. But there was no way; she wasn't plan on letting him go anytime soon. She clung to the fabric of his black tee shirt and kissed him back with all of her might. She wanted to show him how many emotions he made her feel. How she thought about him when they weren't together. It was as if she had just identified those feelings as longings and desire.

Sakura moaned into the kiss and he lifted his lips from hers so she could have air to breathe. She almost collapsed when she felt him pressing hot open-mouthed kisses down her neck slowing at her collar bone where he stopped when he reach the seam of her tank top.

She put her arms around his neck and pushed her forehead against his so she could see his eyes. She expected them to be half lidded and glazed over but instead it was just the opposite. Gaara's eyes look more alive than she had could ever remember seeing them before. His breath was short and ragged but he framed her face with his hands and continued to thoroughly kiss every inch of it. It was as if every kiss before his was just an imitation, a shadow of a kiss. Gaara's were the real thing and Sakura was reveling in it.

The next thing she knew she was leading him toward the bed and pulling him down on top of her. He wasted no time sealing her lips with his. This kiss was less fervent but more tender than those before. She still felt the neediness behind it. Sakura reckoned she need him just as badly if not more. She hesitantly opened her mouth letting his tongue and lips massage her own.

Whereas Sasuke's weight had always felt suffocating on top of her, Gaara's felt warm and comforting. Sakura thought she could just melt right under him and there would be no regrets.

When he finally released custody of her mouth she thought her heart would never be the same it was beating so rapidly and irregularly. Those kisses were bad for her health.

"You don't taste like cigarettes." She said still in a daze.

Gaara shifted so they were lying next to each other but he still held her tightly to his thin chest. He pushed some stray hairs behind her ear and kissed her again and again and again.

Earlier that day if someone had told Sakura that she would be having a marathon-kissing hour with Gaara Sabaku she would have laughed in his or her face. But as she lay relaxing with her head on his chest trying to steady her breathing she couldn't help but think that kissing Gaara had been the redeeming event of the week.

The terrifying part was that she had no idea what he was thinking. She could never tell what he was thinking and she doubted he was going to volunteer any information. He had never once given her any indication that he wanted to kiss her until her lips were sore like they were at that moment.

"Are you ok?" he asked for the umpteenth time.

Was she ok? It was a good question coming from a good distraction. So she voiced the only thought in her head at that very moment. "I'm not a princess." She told him warily.

"I don't mind." He said seriously. "I'm not a prince."

Sakura laughed humorlessly. "It doesn't matter. You're a _really_ good kisser."

"I like kissing you."

Her stomach interrupted her search for a reply by growling loudly. "I missed dinner." She said sheepishly. "Want to go get some pizza?"

Gaara didn't answer. He was making her nervous. He was probably regretting kissing her now. They couldn't even have a conversation that didn't blow up into madness. How could she be so silly as to think he would want to go get pizza with her.

"Or I understand if you have to go now. I know you only came here to get your notebook…" she said getting up off of him. She looked down at him and watched his face for signs of anger or disgust.

But there wasn't any. "If we get dinner you have to stop avoiding the question and tell me what's making you so upset." She watched his lips say.

Sakura wasn't sure she was ready to say the words out loud. What would Gaara do if she told him? He was _Gaara_ not Oprah. Could she really expect any sympathy from him? Kissing him wasn't the same as bearing her soul him.

"Alright." She said getting off the bed and heading over to the phone. "But we've got to get it delivered here. I can't go out like this. I look like a meth addict."

She hoped she knew what she was getting herself into. But it no longer mattered. She just wanted him to stay with her.

* * *

**Ok there was some out of characterness but I just wanted to write about kissing. Its such a strange subject to write about so I was eager to try it. Anyway I hope everyone enjoyed it nonetheless. THANKS A BILLION ALL YOU SUPER SUPER REVIEWERS out there. Have you heard the news? My reviewers are the coolest on the planet. So all my readers should feel free to join them. **

**Happy Thanksgiving to all the Americans out there.  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Its a long chapter but I should warn you. Its not what you were hoping for. Its just chit chat development. **

**I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

"Sakura you don't have to clean." Ino said laughing. "You can visit me and not organize my closet you know."

It was Saturday morning. Tsunade had taken Johnny and her mother to farm country for breakfast. Sakura pretended to be suffering from severe cramps and was in too much pain to come out of her room.

As soon as she heard the car leave the driveway, she put on her workout clothes and running shoes and jogged to Ino's house. Sakura needed someone to talk to.

Tsunade had gotten home late. Sakura heard her knock on the door to her bedroom and ignored it. It wasn't difficult to pretend to be asleep.

"Cleaning helps me think." Sakura said putting fallen dresses back on their rightful hangers. I never ceased to amaze her how much of a mess Ino let her room turn into. She could always count on the blond to have something that needed cleaning. "I just really need to think."

"I'm sorry about Tsunade. When my mom gets home I'll talk to her. She loves you, Sakura, I know she'd let you stay here if something happened." Ino said trying to comfort her friend.

"There's got to be something I can do though. I'm not ready to just _let_ her die. She's Tsunade! She raised me. Not that bimbo…"

" You'll figure something out. You always do." Ino assured her.

Sakura didn't even know where to start. She supposed that she could visit the state hospital and find out what she could from the doctors and surgeons there. Somebody in that hospital had to have some advice about giving Tsunade part of her liver. She refused to accept that there was nothing she could do to help.

"I just don't understand why she waited so long to tell me. It makes me feel anger more than sadness. If she had told me months ago I could have come up with an actual plan. I don't know what to do. I don't know how long she's got. I don't know what I _can_ do."

Ino was quiet for a moment. It seemed she was unsure how she should be reacting to Sakura's news. But Sakura couldn't blame her. Neither of them had ever received this kind of news before. It was only natural that they would have problems deciding how to react and what their next move should be. "Do you know why we became friends?" Ino asked Sakura.

"We got along really well?" Sakura guessed wondering where Ino was going with this kind of question.

Ino shook her head. " When you first came here you were such the little weirdo."

"I was no such thing!" Sakura said crossing her arms in mock anger.

"Yeah you were!" The blond girl said laughing. " You had all of this pink hair and you said all of these smartass things…you were _definitely _not like the rest of us."

"Does this story have a point?" Sakura did not appreciate Ino tying to help her relive her awkward period.

" Just listen for a minute!" Ino snapped at her. "What I'm saying is, even though you didn't have friends, I recognized your potential. I knew you were smart and I knew you were strong. You're the girl the rest of us spend our entire lives comparing ourselves to because we think you can do anything."

It was nice that Ino was trying to make Sakura feel better but Sakura didn't believe a word of it. As much as she hated to admit it, she was really no different than the other girls she went to school with. She had problems just like everyone else. She had flaws, she had fears, and she had secrets, just like all the other girls. The only thing was, she was a master at hiding these things.

"Thanks Ino." Sakura said. "I think this is just something I have to figure out on my own."

"I'm your best friend. I'll help you anyway I can." Ino assured her. "Now what other new do you have to share? Hit me up with something funny."

"I hooked up with Gaara Sabaku." The pink haired girl blurted out. She was horrified that she spilled the beans so soon. She wasn't planning on telling anyone about Gaara until she knew what the hell had actually happened that night.

It was like a blur, a warm and tingly blur. One minute she had been looking for his notebook and the next thing she knew she was clinging to him while he kissed her senseless. Then he watched her scarf down an entire cheese pizza and listened to her pour her heart out about her mother, her grandmother, and Sasuke Uchiha. All the while he just sat there silently listening to her.

He didn't so much as nod or shake his head but Sakura _knew_ he was listening. Every time she looked up at his face his eyes were staring intently at hers. Besides, he wasn't the type of person who asked for an explanation and then zoned out when he was given one. More often than not they disagreed, but Gaara always listened to what she had to say even if it was just to shoot it down.

When she was all through eating, talking, and crying he let her take a couple deep breaths before he finally spoke. He told her he was very sorry about Tsunade. He agreed that she was a good person who didn't deserve to die.

But much to her annoyance he said that she should respect her grandmother's wishes. He thought that she probably had a very good reason for acting the way she did and for handling everything the way she was. Sakura had said it herself how smart and capable Tsunade was, it was only logical that her decisions reflected these traits.

Sakura was much too stubborn to tell Gaara how right he probably was.

She didn't get to hear what he thought about her other problems because she had heard the garage door open signaling her family's arrival back home. If they were to find her with Gaara… who knows what kind of repercussions the discovery might lead to. Mostly, she just didn't want Gaara to meet her mother. Sakura didn't want him associating her with that kind of weak and shallow woman.

It was unsettling to realize how concerned she was with his opinion of her. That night after she had rushed him out of the back door and gone upstairs to fake sleep, she spent a good hours recalling and dissecting the night's events. Because what it really boiled down to was this: _she _kissed _him,_ not the other way around. _She_ was the one who had initiated their contact. He might have just been kissing her because he was curious or wanted to have something to blackmail her with later.

As far as she knew Gaara had never had a girlfriend before. Initially he kisses suggested he didn't have much experience in the area but by the end of it all he might as well have been an expert kisser. Either way, just thinking about them was enough to make her legs feel like two spaghetti noodles.

She had no idea what had happened or why it had happened. It wouldn't matter Ino would surely tell everyone now.

"You and Sabaku eh?" Said the girl laughing. "Oh god like that would ever happen." She shook her head. "I was kidding the other day when I said that he was into you. Having Gaara stare at you is probably a sign that the Sheriff is going to find you tied to a tree in the woods and covered in rams blood."

Ino didn't believe her? Was it really that farfetched that the two of them would ever get together? Gaara was probably the least popular boy in their grade but Ino had said it herself that he was still sort of sexy. "Do you really think he's into all that weird stuff?"

"Probably…I mean we've gone to school with him for like what, 10 years? The only human action I've ever witnessed him participate in was that time in eight grade when he punched Lee in the nose. He doesn't come to football games or participate in _any_ extra curriculars… what ever he _does_ do must be weird because he doesn't share it with anyone. You're honestly the first person I've ever seen talk to him." Ino said.

"Maybe he's just a really private person? What if secretly he was really cool?" Sakura asked Ino hopefully.

"Gaara's not cool." Said the blond looking at Sakura as if she had just said the world's dumbest thing. "Besides, he doesn't _want_ to have anything to do with us. So it doesn't matter if he is a loser or not."

She was totally right that Ino. Gaara was as anti social as the came. There was no logical explanation for the way he treated her. How did they go from fighting to…to… she didn't even know what to call it. Sakura just couldn't think of him the same way anymore. He was no longer the loser Ino was referring to, now he was something else entirely.

"It'll be a relief when you've got this project over and done with. I'm starting to worry about the awful things Gaara could do to you if he got the chance. The guy's unstable, Sakura."

Sakura chewed on her bottom lip. The Gaara she knew wasn't that way at all. "He's not that bad really." She said. "Actually, he's kind of interesting."

Ino laughed. "Careful girl, you know the way this town works… you start talking like that the next thing you know you'll be associated with that. If the people in town start put the two of you together they'll make life miserable for you." She warned.

The pinked haired girl felt her stomach drop. She felt all of the sudden like she had broken some sacred law by wanting to spend more time with him. She new he wasn't popular but was he really the town pariah like Ino was making him out to be? "I don't understand…isn't he the mayor's son?"

"Yeah but even he hates him."

Sakura started to feel even sicker. "His own father hates him? How is that possible?"

"I forget that you weren't born in this town sometimes." She said. "I guess it all happened before you move here…"

"Something happened? Gaara did something?" Sakura asked eagerly. She dropped the pile of clothes she was folding and crawled over to wear Ino was sitting on the floor. Living in Konoha had made her a shameless gossip and she was especially interested in any information pertaining to the red haired boy.

"Well," Ino whispered conspiratorially, " There was never any proof…I mean there was a fair amount of proof, but the sheriff never did anything about it. Like you said, Gaara is the mayor's son."

"I don't get it… what did he do?"

"You know the old church on the very edge of the forest?"

"Yes, of course…" Sakura said leaning in to better hear the story. She had lived there for how many year and never thought to ask anyone the story behind The Sabaku family. In her defense, the ladies in town never really spoke the truth about the mayor and his family. It was almost if they knew anything with real legitimacy would get them into trouble.

"When he was just six years old…Gaara was the one that set it on fire. He burned that place to ashes. What you see now is the result of Konoha taxes. Mayor Sabaku had another church built in the exact spot of the old one the same month his son was found standing in front of the burning one holding a box of matches."

Sakura gasped. "You can't be serious! Six year olds don't burn churches!" she said in utter disbelief. He was a little rough around the edges, but he wasn't an arsonist. In all the time she spent with him he never once showed any destructive tendencies. If he had Sakura would have definitely caught such a thing.

"This is no ordinary person we're talking about. This is Gaara Sabaku. He's the person little Konoha children tell scary stories about. Haven't you noticed? Whenever something goes missing at school his locker is the first they check. The sheriff calls him to the principle's office every once in a while to take a drug test. He is a scary guy I tell you. "

Oh god, oh god, oh god! What had Sakura done? Just who the hell had she gotten herself involved with? Just because he hadn't kidnapped her and sold her to his connections in the human trafficking business in order to earn money for drugs, didn't mean he wasn't going to the next chance he got. She didn't know him at all. All she knew was that a giant part of her wanted to be with him at all hours of the day. And she knew she had to smother that part of herself.

But she couldn't let herself become distracted by her feelings for him. Sakura had to focus on her grandmother's condition. There was no time for boy drama and that was a fact.

* * *

"Ma got called over to the state hospital for a consultation." Sakura's mother said to her as soon as she walked in the door. "Me and Johnny were hoping you would want to take us grocery shopping. I'm going to be helping cook Thanksgiving dinner this year."

Sakura didn't know how to _not_ become irritated with this woman. She had no desire whatsoever to go to the super market with her and the boyfriend, in fact she had already made plans to go upstairs and cry confusedly into her pillow for a couple of hours. Spending quality time with her mother was not exactly what she would call a relaxing afternoon. Besides how could this woman pretend like everything was ok when it was so clearly _not_ ok?

It reminded Sakura of her fifth birthday. Her and her mother had been living in this roach infested hellhole next to the train station. It was just after Mrs. Haruno had broken up with her hot dog vendor boyfriend and had been too depressed to go to work. Even with just the two of them in the apartment it still felt cramped. The walls were yellow and crumbling, the sinks were rusty and all of the windows were broken or stuck and there was only one bed so Sakura was forced to share the filthy mattress with her mother.

It had been the worst birthday ever. Not only did she not receive a single gift but also her mother had forgotten to pay the electric bill so the power went off as soon as evening rolled around. Mrs. Haruno went down the block to the dollar store and brought back a whole bunch of cheap candles. She lit them, placed them around the apartment, and pretended like her own incompetence wasn't the cause of their current power outage and that they were actually allowed to have candles in the apartment.

How could she live like that? How could she think Sakura would want to go back to that?

"I'm sorry mom but I was planning on having a shower." Sakura said not so apologetically.

"That's Ok honey, Johnny and I will wait. You take as long as you need." Her mother said sweetly.

"Right…" Something told Sakura she wasn't going to be able to wiggle her way out of this one. "I'll be down in half hour."

In a pathetic teenage attempt to spite her mother Sakura took forty-five minutes to get ready. She was unsurprised that it wasn't the least bit satisfying.

Mrs. Haruno wanted to drive Sakura's car into town but Sakura would not hear of it. Her mother didn't even have a valid drivers license. Instead the three walked in the freezing cold, Sakura leading the way while her mother glued herself to Johnny's arm and the two trailed after her.

As soon as the made it to the market Mrs. Haruno commandeered a shopping cart and began filling it with all sorts of fresh produce, things that Sakura was fairly sure didn't belong on the Thanksgiving table. What on earth could the woman be cooking with avocados and star fruit?

While Mrs. Haruno stood at the butchers counter comparing turkeys her daughter took the opportunity to have a little heart to heart with Johnny.

"You should get out while you can." Sakura warned him. "My mother is a basket case and the more involved with her you become the more miserable your life will get."

She felt a little conniving saying these things to her mother's boyfriend. It was only fair that someone alerted him to what he had to look forward to by attaching himself to her mother. "Her empty headedness and helplessness may seem cute now but trust me she is going to ruin you. She doesn't know how not to." She said.

Johnny looked uncomfortable. "I don't believe you. You're mother explained to me that the two of you were somewhat estranged. I really don't think you should be talking badly about her after what you did to her."

Sakura was confused. She was nine years old the last time she saw her mother, she hadn't done anything but take care of and clean up after the woman. "What _I _did to her? What the hell are you talking about?"

"You called social services on her and made up a whole bunch of stories and told all sorts of lies. That's why you live with your grandmother. You let them take you from your poor mother."

The pink haired girl gaped at him. "You're kidding me right?" she shook her head in resignation. "Its too late for you. She's already got you under her spell."

"There is no spell." He said raising his voice to her. "Don't talk about her like that. She's your mother!"

"My mother," Sakura said evenly, "had the mentality of a fifteen year old. _She _left_ me_! She was moving in with her boyfriend, the janitor at the strip club she worked at, and his landlord didn't allow children in the building. She _dumped_ me on Tsunade's doorstep, like a box of give away clothing. One-eyed Charlie was more important than me! So don't you tell me what I should or shouldn't say about that woman! "

It was a little harsh but Sakura was in no mood to get messed around with, not by this sorry excuse for a man. He had no right to say jack about what went on with Sakura and her mother all those years ago. She never talked about that time of her life, not even with Ino or Tsunade. It was nobody's business. She didn't want them to know how pathetic she was or for anyone to feel sorry for her. That wasn't her life anymore and she wasn't going to give up on Konoha either.

Johnny looked stricken, but before he could reply to her little rant Mrs. Haruno came back over cradling a raw turkey in her arms like she would a baby. "Isn't it just darling? It's a shame I'm going to kill it." She said.

"Its already dead, Mom." Sakura said rolling her eyes.

Mrs. Haruno dropped the bird in the cart. "My daughter is such a downer!" she cried.

"I'm sorry I'm in no mood for jokes." Sakura said bitterly. She took control of the cart and began driving it away from her two companions. "But my grandmother just broke the news to me last night that her liver is failing and she's dying. So again, sorry I'm not all sunshine and butterflies."

"What did you expect?" Mrs. Haruno said her eyes hardening. "She is an alcoholic. It was only a matter of time before she drank herself to death."

Sakura was stunned. "How can you talk about her that way? This town relies on her! She's the woman who raised the both of us. Why don't you seem to care?"

"Honey do you mind reaching over there and grabbing me the can of cranberry sauce? I can't quite get to it." Mrs. Haruno said acting as if she hadn't heard Sakura at all.

The young girl sighed in frustration. What the hell was this woman's problem? "If you think there is even the slightest chance I would come live in New York, you're even more delusional than I thought."

"Johnny, does this bread look delicious?" Mrs. Haruno asked her boyfriend choosing to again ignore her daughter completely.

"It sure does, dear." He answered usurping the cart from Sakura and turning to give her a nasty glare.

That was so typical of her mother, just ignore any information that might be unpleasant and flee from any confrontation that might be upsetting. Johnny and Mrs. Haruno continued their shopping leaving Sakura seething in anger in front of the meat counter thinking the day could not possibly get any worse.

She was wrong.

* * *

"You need to be more careful about what you say to your mother, she's very sensitive." Tsunade said to Sakura. Johnny and her mother had gone upstairs to "relax" so Sakura stayed in the kitchen for a talk on the request of her grandmother.

"She is an idiot and I'm tired of everyone making excuses for her." Sakura replied grumpily crossing her arms. "And for the record I'm pissed at you too."

Tsunade opened the refrigerator door and peered inside. "I see she forgot to get eggs." She said absently.

" Will somebody please listen to me when I talk!?!" Sakura cried. "I'm so sick of being ignored. This is serious… this is our futures we're talking about!

"I already told you we're not going to talk about this until you can act your age."

"Can you at least tell me… how long you have left?" She asked. The idea she could wake up the next morning and her grandmother might not be living scared the shit out of her. Plus she needed to know how long she had to get her stuff together and figure out a way to save her.

"I could wake up jaundiced any morning. My kidneys are in bad shape too. I've got three months tops." Her grandmother said calmly.

It just didn't make sense. Tsunade didn't look like a woman on her deathbed. She was so relaxed talking about the end of her life. She wasn't even that old. She was in her seventies but she didn't look a day older than sixty. She was very much alive. How could they be discussing her death? It just didn't fit.

"I just can't believe you waited to tell me. I just can't believe you're going to give me back to my mother." Sakura said her voice shaking. "I will _never_ forgive you."

"That's nice Sakura," Tsunade said flatly. "Now the Uzumaki's are coming over again so if you're not going to help me prepare dinner go upstairs and do your homework."

Never was there a moment in Sakura's memory where she could remember hating her grandmother so vehemently. Was it so wrong that Sakura was upset over the prospect of her death?

"You're the worst. Like mother like daughter." She whispered hatefully. "I will never ever forgive you."

"Teenage angst is really unbecoming of you."

Sakura shrieked and pushed all the food Tsunade had gathered off the counter with the back of her arm. Her grandmother look unimpressed. So Sakura fled the kitchen stomping up the stairs as violently as her skinny legs would allow. It took all her self-control not to stick her fist through the wall.

God. And they said Sakura was the insensitive one? What the hell was wrong with the world? Was _everyone _on crack? Sakura was at a loss. She didn't see any way she could fix things. There had to be something she could do to prevent this disaster from happening.

She crawled onto her bed and burrowed into the blankets and pillows. If she cried anymore she would be in danger of succumbing to dehydration. She took a deep breath to steady herself.

The pillow smelled like him. Less than twenty-four hours ago Gaara Sabaku had been in her bed and she could still smell him. And for better or worse the scent calmed her.

Her brain switched channels and she began to replay the previous nights events in her mind. She remembered comparing kissing Gaara to kissing Sasuke because at the time she had been shocked (amongst other things) over the difference.

Sasuke's kisses had always been too wet and he always kept his mouth too rigid. To Sakura, the act always felt like one of the things in life that was completely unnecessary but you put up with it because it was a widely accepted part of tradition in culture, like commercials on cable TV or the silent letters of the alphabet. She honestly thought that people kissed because it was tradition she knew nothing of the pleasure and hunger that came from joining lips with someone who you were attracted to or you cared for.

She wasn't sure what she felt for Gaara, but he had such the best kisses that she couldn't ignore the memory of even if she wanted to. She touched her lips curiously. Why had she kissed him in the first place and why had he kissed her back? Nothing made any sense.

Sakura drifted off to sleep wondering about why he always smelled so much like chocolate.

She was awoken by a knock on her door and the distinct voice belonging Naruto Uzumaki. " Sakura you're not naked are you." He called. " I mean if you are that's cool because I've already kind of seen everything there is to see…but I totally understand if you want to get clothes on-"

Sakura swung the door open, "Its cool Naruto, I am fully clothed." She said shaking her head and laughing despite herself. "Get inside you pervert." She said pulling him inside and shutting the door behind him.

"Look… forget about what I just said. I've got no idea what you look like naked. None whatsoever." He said putting his hands up defensively.

The pink haired girl whacked him on the head. "I thought we agreed that we were never _ever_ going to allude to that night again, under _any_ circumstances." She said testily. The last thing she needed was a reminder of her humiliating breakup with the football hero.

"Sorry about that." Naruto said rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

Sakura shrugged. "Whatever." She said. "So how long have you guys been her for? I kind of fell asleep…"

"About an hour. We already ate. I wanted to come upstairs and wake you up, but Granny Tsunade said for me to just let you sulk."

"Of course she did." Sakura said. It seemed her disposition hadn't gotten any sunnier. The teenager was however not sorry she missed dinner with her mother. She was actually kind of grateful. "What did you guys eat?"

"Chicken. It was pretty good but then again I'll eat just about anything. I came up here when the fighting got to be too much." He said.

"Fighting?" Sakura asked. "What the hell are they fighting about?"

Naruto stared at her. "Uh…you…" he replied.

"Explain."

"When Granny Tsunade…when she uh…you know…"

"Yeah I _do_ know, now get on with it!" Sakura demanded. She guessed Naruto knew about her grandmother's illness too. How long had he known for? Sakura wouldn't be surprised if she found out he had known for weeks.

"Well, my parents… they want to adopt you." Naruto finished.

Sakura's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?" she said in disbelief. "They want to

adopt me?" The Uzumaki's were known for their kindness but this was on a whole other level.

"Yeah, but your mother won't even consider it. She is really adamant about brining you back to New York with her."

Leave it to Sakura's mother to ruin the one chance she had at staying in Konoha and living with family members (well not technically family) she loved and respected. If Tsunade had to die the Uzumaki's would be the perfect family for her to move in with. They knew Tsunade well and they were honorary family, they would all be able to help each other with grief and understanding. Sakura felt really lucky to have the Uzumaki's in her corner. "She's pure evil."

"Nothing is certain yet. You mother might be evil but _my_ mother is on a mission, and that woman does _not_ back down." He said trying to cheer her up. "Besides it would be cool not to be an only child anymore."

"Yeah…" Sakura said wishfully. Living with Naruto could be a lot of fun. Despite his goofiness the boy had a good heart and was an excellent judge of character. He really would make a great brother.

"So listen," she said, "want to get a head start on being a big brother?"

Naruto laughed. "Sure thing… just as long as its not homework help or going laundry. I'm not scholastic _or _domestic. Those can be your jobs."

"I'll keep that in mind." She said with obvious sarcasm. Like she would need his help in either field. Please, she was Sakura Haruno and even Martha Stewart had nothing on her.

"Anyway, I ended up hooking up with Gaara Sabaku…" she said far too casually. She hoped she wasn't being obvious. If she said it like it was no big deal than it _was_ not big deal…right?

The blond boy shook his head. "I'm sorry can you repeat that?" he asked. "I thought I just heard you say you hooked up with Gaara."

"I _did_ say that… I mean I _did_ hook up with him. Yesterday actually…" Sakura said burying her face in her hands. Even Naruto was horrified, and he was the most open-minded person she knew.

Naruto stared at her dumbly. "Gaara… the same Gaara I warned you about a couple of weeks ago. The same Gaara that suspended for attacking a teacher?"

"

Do you know anyone else by that name?" she asked into her hands.

I continued to stare at her like she might just sprout wings and fly off. Oh how she wished that would happen. She should have never opened her mouth up about it.

"Sakura…why?"

She looked up at him and shook her head. "I don't know!" she said. "Things were never like that before with us. But he came over yesterday to get his notebook… and I was really upset about Tsunade and my mother… and he was really nice for once… and then the next thing I know I've thrown myself at him. Oh. My. God. I threw myself at him!"

"Hey, its not that big of a deal. You were getting it on with Sasuke before…Gaara is kind of an upgrade."

"You don't understand…" Sakura whispered returning her head to her hands.

"You're just stressed about Granny Tsunade. This Gaara thing is nothing."

"I just don't understand how it could have happened. We don't even like each other."

Naruto gave her a skeptical look. "You really can't figure it out?"

"Figure what out?" She asked knitting her eyebrows together in bewilderment. Two people who couldn't stand to be in each other's presence usually didn't end up sharing kisses.

"You're Sakura Haruno. There isn't a single red blooded male at our school who wouldn't take advantage of the opportunity to…uh… get friendly with you."

"That's just not true…" Sakura said remembering what she learned dating Sasuke. He always reminded her that none of the other boys at school had any interest in her. They all thought her hair was too pink or her forehead to big. Sasuke never failed to bring up how her bust was also too small to ever really grab a guy's attention. Even though she spent hours exercising and putting make up on there were always prettier girls Sasuke kept his eyes on.

"Are you kidding?" he asked staring opened mouthed at her. " You're kind of the most coved piece of ass in school. I mean no one is making any moves now because of that syphilis rumor Sasuke started…"

She closed her eyes. Sasuke was such a jerk. Naruto was sweet but he was probably just saying that guys wanted her to make her feel better. Sakura might be the smartest girl in her grade but it was a well-known fact guys didn't go for smart girls. She had only been elected Homecoming queen because she was dating Sasuke. He was the only reason people looked twice at her. She wasn't hot like Ino or feminine like Hinata; hell even Tenten was more interesting than she was. More importantly none of them had stupid whores for mothers. There was no way Gaara made a move on her because he thought she was pretty. Not when he had never even looked twice at the more appealing girls she went to school with.

"It really doesn't matter why it happened. I just don't know what I'm going to do when I see him on Monday." Sakura said trying not to succumb to her despair.

"Maybe this is something we should ask Ino about? This is kind of encroaching on the area of 'girl talk'"

"I tried to tell her… but at the time it just wasn't a good idea."

Naruto understood her meaning with out needing an explanation. "Why does it matter so much? People will talk no matter who you go out with. If you like him ask him out."

There was no way she was going to ask him out. No way in hell. But this was a curious idea Naruto had brought up. "Are guys ok with that? Is it ok for girls to be the ones to ask guys out?" she asked him. Sasuke never allowed her to take the initiate to do anything other than make him lunch or do his homework, and even then he had strict rules about how and when things should be done.

"Uh… Yeah…" Naruto replied like it was the most obvious answer in the world. " If you want to spread the message to any and all women who would date me I would really appreciate it. Why shouldn't girls have to be proactive about these kinds of things?"

"You're kind of a feminist aren't you?" Sakura asked half smiling. "Sasuke was wrong about you, you're not an idiot at all!"

"Glad I could be of some assistance." He said looking proud of himself. "My advice was pretty useful right? You've got a plan now right?"

The girl's smile grew. "I'm even more confused than ever." She said watching Naruto throw his hands up in defeat. "But hey, I don't feel as hopeless about everything. That accounts for something I think."

"Just stop thinking so much. For once in your life follow your instinct and trust the people around you to make the right choices."

His words made sense. Sakura wasn't sure if she could do what he was suggesting, but she knew she had to calm down and let things begin to take their own course. She couldn't control everything, but she couldn't allow herself to be controlled anymore either.

No matter if she moved in with them or not, Naruto was the best brother a girl could wish for.

* * *

**Well please don't hate me for such an uneventful chapter. Your reviews were too kind! They make me so happy THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. so leave some more?**


	8. Chapter 8

**OK here is another chapter. I don't know how its going to read, I wrote it after I broke up with my boyfriend so it was frustrating to write. Either way I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer I don't own Naruto.  
**

* * *

She couldn't believe it. Gaara was avoiding her. _Gaara_ was avoiding _her_!"

He stopped meeting her at the library; he never visited his smoking spot and he always left class the moment the bell rang, giving her no time to catch him after class. Sakura didn't know what to make of it. She still had his notebook; surely he would be pestering her for it.

Instead he was making every effort to stay away from her.

She didn't understand it at all. Gaara wasn't really that nice of a guy and they had exchanged harsh words and insults too many times to count. If he didn't like her than why didn't he just tell her flat out straight up he wasn't interested? If he was interested than he should have had no problem coming clean about that either. He hadn't exactly been shy when he had his tongue in her mouth…

And if that wasn't bad enough, things with her mother and Tsunade had only gotten worse with time. She wasn't on speaking terms with either of them. She had however eavesdropped on a number of interesting conversations in which she was able to assemble the following facts.

It had been Tsunade's original intention to pass over her guardianship to the Uzumaki's. She did not want Sakura to have to leave Konoha.

The question of Sakura's custody arose when Tsunade phoned her daughter to tell her the news of her failing health. This was when Mrs. Haruno decided it was time for her to try and re enter Sakura's life.

Johnny's brother was a lawyer. Mrs. Haruno was threatening to sue for custody of Sakura.

It never surprised her how selfish her mother could be. If she really cared about Sakura she would let her chose how she wanted to spend the next year and a half. If they couldn't get along now, what made her mother think they could live together for and extended period.

Thanksgiving dinner was a disaster. Mrs. Haruno cooked it all and NONE of it was edible. It was impossible for her to talk to anyone at the table with out getting into a fight so she left before the meal was even half over. Sakura ended up feasting on ice cream while she watched COPS reruns in her basement.

It was a little before nine p.m. when she first got the crazy idea to crash the Mayor's annual Thanksgiving potluck dessert party. Every year The Sabaku family had a post Thanksgiving dinner party where everyone invited brought their favorite dessert to share. It was mostly just an opportunity for the wealthy or influential Konoha citizens to get together, schmooze, and talk crop yield and family business, so while Tsunade was almost always invited she never attended. Technically it wasn't crashing because Tsunade's invitation was extended to Sakura as well, but she was planning on arriving empty handed so she might as well have been crashing.

She drove up to the Mayor's mansion and parked her little red convertible on the street behind the long row cars leading up to the house. Sakura was lucky the heater in her car worked because it was freezing outside and her car wasn't really a cold weather type vehicle.

The cold air stung making her teeth chatter as she rubbed her bare arms for warmth. She had unwisely chosen to wear the short black dress Tsunade had gotten her weeks ago at the mall. The dress was modest; it wasn't very short and only subtly hugged her curves, even the neckline showed off her soft pale skin with out revealing any cleavage. Sakura felt the dress must have been made with her specifically in mind. She loved the way she looked in it, but she was still freezing her ass off.

Sakura walked inside with a couple she didn't recognize and headed straight for the bathroom to find a tissue for her runny nose. She locked the door behind her and when she was finished making sure her face was snot-free she spent a few minutes reapplying makeup and staring at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn't going to lie to herself, she had applied every stitch of makeup because when she finally found Gaara she wanted him to look at her and think she was pretty. She didn't care what Naruto thought, Sasuke had no reason to lie to her, they were already dating, Sakura was going to have to make an effort to get any boy's attention.

When Sakura emerged from the bathroom she ran straight into the older of the two Sabaku boys, Kankuro Sabaku.

She supposed the brothers looked somewhat alike. Their hairstyles were similar only the color differed, Kankuro's was hair was a much more normal shade of brown. Kankuro and Gaara had similar shapes in eyes, again the only difference being the color, but that is really were the similarities ended. Kankuro had a much stronger nose and jaw line. He looked much older than Gaara likely because he was built much sturdier and his shoulders were broader. The young man was known for being somewhat of a ladies' man. Sakura thought he was quite handsome but for some reason, compared to Gaara's strangeness, Kankuro was the blander of the two boys. She preferred the redhead.

"Sakura!" He said his tone suggesting he was genuinely happy to have run into her. "Don't tell me you've been hiding in the bathroom all night. If I had known you were here I wouldn't have just spent an hour talking to Mr. Uchiha about the fertilizer industry."

"How flattering…" Sakura said smiling crookedly. If she wasn't mistaken Kankuro had sort of complimented her just then. It was nice to be complimented by older good-looking guys.

"Yeah." He said stretching his arm and placing his hand on the wall next to Sakura's head. He had effectively pinned her to the wall with out even touching her. "You look stunning tonight… you're not here with Sasuke are you?" he asked.

Sakura shook her head. Ok, so he was _definitely_ flirting with her. She was flattered, and it wasn't completely unpleasant…but she just wasn't interested in him. He wasn't the Sabaku she had trekked all the way up the driveway in heels to visit.

She was only mildly disturbed to hear that Sasuke was lurking somewhere amidst the crowd of business attire partygoers. Sakura could care less about what that boy did in his free time.

Kankuro leaned in closer his face at level with hers. Sakura could just faintly smell the scent of alcohol. In the corner of her eye she saw waiters holing trays of champagne flutes and passing them around to guests. Kankuro wasn't drunk, but he wasn't sober either.

"Don't you have other guests to entertain?" Sakura asked as politely as she could, hoping he would get the hint and back off.

"Probably." He said shrugging his shoulders. He leaned in even more closely and grinned at her. "None of them are as pretty as you."

Enough was enough. "Kankuro, I'm flattered really…" She said pushing him away with one hand. " But you're wasting effort on me."

"Now how can you be sure of that?" Kankuro said outing his hand on top of Sakura's own hand, the one she had been using to push him away.

This guy really had all the moves didn't he? She was just about to tell him _not so nicely_ to back off when a voice interrupted her thoughts, and it wasn't Kankuro.

"Sakura…what are you doing here?" Gaara said staring at the two of them. The pinked haired girl had the unsettling feeling of being caught in the act. Although there was really nothing going on between her and Kankuro, she was rejecting him in fact.

She snatched her hand away from Kankuro and ducked under his arm to escape his hold on her. "I'm here to see you." She said when she was finally free of Kankuro. She took his notebook out of her purse and handed it to him. "I've still got your notebook."

Gaara gave her an unreadable look but took the notebook from her. "Thanks." He said tucking it under his arm.

"I didn't read it." Sakura said fidgeting with the hem of her dress nervously. "I've been kind of preoccupied or else I would have dropped it off earlier."

The redhead continued to stare at her impassively. Did she do the wrong thing by deciding to come that night? He looked less than thrilled to see her. She hoped he didn't think there was anything going on between her and his brother. He walked in at a very bad moment.

"Is there someplace we can talk privately?" she asked him hopefully. They never really did figure out how to act around each other in public.

Gaara nodded. "We can go downstairs." He said.

"Ok." Sakura answered. She began to follow him down another hall when a hand shot out and grabbed her arm. "I'm not interested Kankuro…" she said mildly annoyed.

"Kankuro?" Sasuke asked confused.

Sakura stopped dead in her tracks. Even though she was over him that didn't mean she ever wanted to speak to him again.

"How did you know I'd be here tonight?" he asked. She never realized how nasally his voice sounded when he spoke

"What do you mean?" She asked fully conscious of the fact Gaara was watching them both.

"Well, you look halfway decent for once. This is a ploy to get me back isn't it?" Sasuke said grinning smugly.

Sakura looked at him stupidly. There really wasn't a more arrogant asshole on the planet…no universe. Why did it take her so long to breakup with him? "_I _broke up with _you_ remember that? I don't want you anymore than I want a rhinovirus. I'm here to see him," she said nodding in Gaara's direction.

"Gaara?" Sasuke said in disbelief. " And what do you mean you don't want me back?"

"Yeah, Gaara. And when I say I don't want you, I mean _I don't want you_. So if you'll excuse me…" She said turning around to catch up with Gaara who had already taken the cue to start walking away.

She heard Sasuke call angrily after her but she could muster up the effort to care. She fell into step next to Gaara but she was afraid to look at him. He probably thought she was a huge slut juggling men like that.

He led her to the basement door and switched on the light. Sakura was surprised to see that the basement wasn't finished like the rest of the house. She immediately hugged her arms to her chest to protect herself from the thirty-degree air temperature drop. There was no wallpaper on the walls and the floor was bare cement. Shiny silver pipes were exposed and she could hear the sound of water dripping as well as other phantom clanks. What kind of place was he taking her? Should she have been scared?

The room he brought her too was pitch black, Sakura had to resist the urge to grab onto him. Her eyes adjusted and she could just make out his arm reaching for another lamp switch.

She heard a faint 'click' and a soft yellow light illuminated the grungy room before her. The wooden desk in the corner appeared to be half rotted matching the decaying dresser on the adjacent wall. Sakura's eyes were drawn to the middle of the floor where a carefully made mattress lied clothed with moth eaten blankets and two lumpy grey pillows. There was no bed frame to lift the mattress off the surprisingly spotless ground.

He must sweep.

"This is your room?" she asked hesitantly.

Gaara shrugged his shoulders and Sakura took this answer for a 'yes'. She couldn't imagine what it must be like to sleep in a room with no doors or windows to the outside. Why did he live in such a terrible place? The house was huge… there had to be another, nicer, room he could live in. He must freeze at night. There was no heater to be seen anywhere in the room.

Sakura watched Gaara put the notebook on his meticulously organized desk and quietly rearrange his books and papers.

"So you uh… must really be a fan of cold and dark places." She said conversationally.

"What were you doing with my brother?" he asked ignoring her comment.

Sakura considered exaggerating and embellishing a bit to make him jealous, or to see if he would get jealous at all, but she didn't think he would appreciate being toyed with. "He was hitting on me I think, so I was attempting to turn him down." She said waiting for him to turn back around to face her.

"And Sasuke?" he asked still facing the opposite wall.

"I think it was pretty obvious what I was doing with Sasuke…"

Gaara finally turned around to look at her face. "He came here with another girl… with Karin."

Was Gaara testing her for a reaction? " It doesn't matter to me who Sasuke came with." She said honestly. "I told you what it was like dating him. I feel bad for whoever he's with now."

Gaara nodded and seemed to be taking this into some sort of consideration. There were a few moments of heavy silence before he opened his mouth again. "About what happened back at your house…" he said trailing off.

"We should really talk about that…"

"Why?" he asked his tone somewhat harsher than before. "There is nothing to talk about. It was a mistake."

"What do you mean by mistake? Like you regret what happened?" Sakura asked desperate to comprehend what he was saying.

"Yes." Gaara said emotionlessly. "I thought you would have gotten the message, what with me avoiding you and all."

So she was right, he didn't like her, he _was_ avoiding her because he _was_ uncomfortable with what had transpired between them. It was a dick move and she was unimpressed.

"You could have just told me that you don't like me instead of running away and hiding." She said trying not to sound bitter. "I'm just here because I thought you would be wanting your notebook back, but I could never find you at school."

"Well thanks, I've got it back now. Is this all you needed to talk to me about?"

"Yes…I mean no!" Sakura said frustrated with Gaara's attitude. "I understand that socially you're a cripple, but do you have any idea what the term 'mixed messages' means?"

"It was an error in judgment." He said with such finality, but he wasn't looking at her face. It was nothing new, but she had to wonder if he was even talking to her. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than her.

Sakura had to think carefully about what her next move would be. If she went any further down the road she could be making a terrible mistake. Gaara Sabaku wasn't not someone to be taken lightly. Forming any kind of relationship with him…well there was no telling the consequences of that might be.

"I know there are some really awful rumors circulating about me right now…" Sakura said wishing she had a clue as to what she was doing. "It's all untrue."

"You think I don't like you because of rumors?" Gaara asked somewhat incredulously. Sakura didn't answer. "I don't need to _hear_ about your horribleness, I've witnessed it first hand."

"Excuse me?" She asked outraged.

"You're a bitch."

Sakura clenched her fists. God he pissed her off. Ok so she put him through a couple of weeks of hell, but it wasn't like he didn't reciprocate. "You started it!" she sputtered angrily. "You _refused_ to work with me! I had to hunt you down!"

Gaara crossed his arms and leaned against the bare molding of the wall. "I didn't want anything to do with you. I made that clear when this started."

"I don't understand you" Sakura said sighing wearily. "You're brilliant, effortlessly brilliant. Even if I studied under Oscar Wilde himself, I could still never write as well as you." She said and began walking toward him. "You're unlike anyone else in town. I've known you for years and yet I don't actually _know_ a single thing about you. Now that I've talked to you, everything you say makes me wonder more and more about you. It took me all of my self control not to read your notebook."

"You really didn't read it?"

"No…" Sakura shook her head. "Why is there something about me in there?" she said jokingly.

Gaara looked a bit stricken by her statement. Suddenly Sakura wished she _had_ taken a look inside that journal. She would have given anything to know what kind of things he would take the trouble to write about her. She couldn't believe she had done something so silly as to respect his privacy. It was agonizing not knowing what he was thinking.

"You keep saying you don't like me. Gaara if you don't like me why did you kiss me?" Sakura asked on the slim chance she would get an answer.

"You were crying…" he said sounding less than certain.

"Do you kiss everyone who cries in front of you?"

Gaara seemed to be getting agitated. He took two steps forward and stared down at Sakura's face. "Like I said, it was a mistake."

"So you don't want to kiss me again." Sakura said trying to get things straight.

"No." he said firmly.

"Then would you kindly stop staring at my lips?" She asked quietly. "Like I said before, you're really giving me mixed messages."

Startled, he took a step back and began looking anywhere but at her face. But before he could say anything the two teenagers heard the door to the basement open and heavy footsteps start down the stairs.

"Shit." Gaara whispered his eyes widening in a panic. He grabbed Sakura's wrist and pulled her over to the closet. "We've got to hide you." He said opening the door.

"Hide me? What the hell Gaara?" Sakura demanded.

The redhead pushed her into the closet. "What ever you do don't make any noise and don't come out before I tell you its safe."

"What's going on?" she asked pleading with him for information.

"Please…" Gaara whispered.

The next thing Sakura knew the closet door was shut on her face. She heard the owner of the footsteps reach the bottom of the stairs. She put her ear to the door and listened intently making sure to stay perfectly still.

"I thought I told you to stay in the living room." Said a harsh male voice Sakura didn't recognize.

"A classmate dropped something off for me. I was just putting it away." Came Gaara's tense reply.

"You expect me to believe that crap?" The unfamiliar voice said derisively. "The Uchiha boy said you were upstairs harassing some girl in the hallway."

Sakura felt her heart begin to pump spastically in her chest. Gaara was getting into trouble because of her and her stupid ex boyfriend! Stupid Sasuke opening his stupid mouth. What was his problem with Gaara?

"She was just giving me my book back. We're doing a project together. You can ask Temari."

There was a loud thump followed by the sound of Gaara groaning in pain. Sakura came to the sick realization that she had just heard the man punch Gaara. Was he just going to take it? Naruto said that the boy was vicious…

"Don't take that tone of voice with me, and leave your sister out of this. I don't want you pulling her into your world." The unknown man said in the most venomous voice Sakura had ever heard the displeasure of hearing. "Do you understand that?"

"Ok." Gaara hissed through what Sakura guessed to be gritted teeth.

"And I don't want to hear about you bothering any other girls at your school. You come right home after work. Am I clear?"

"Yes."

"Now you can stay here until Monday, we're going to The District with out you. And so help me god, if I smell a single cigarette in this house I've got a room reserved for you at Stateview Mental and I will make sure that you are locked up and forgotten about for a _very_ long time."

If Gaara answered Sakura didn't hear him. Her muscles ached, as she stood painfully rigid until she heard the man go up the stairs and slam the door behind him. She waited for Gaara to tell her it was Ok to come out…but he never did. Sakura slowly crept out of the closet on her own to find the redhead slumped on the mattress.

Who ever the mysterious voice was, he had hit Gaara pretty hard. Sakura didn't know what she was supposed to do, her earlier conversation with him had left her confused and now he had been ordered to stay away from her. Mostly though, she was just horrified to see he was in pain.

She sat down next to his doubled over form but couldn't seem to find the words to speak. So she whispered. "Gaara…"

"You need to be careful when you leave." He said speaking to his knees.

She ignored him. Like hell she was leaving. "Do you think he broke a rib?" she asked crawling closer to him.

"No I'm fine." He answered shortly "You need to leave though."

"Is he coming back?"

"Probably not."

If he wasn't coming back then she was doing him no harm by staying. The party wouldn't be ending for another hour or so. She wanted to stay with him and make sure he was all right. She knew the chances of him telling her what was going on were slim… but she still wanted to be with him. "I'm staying. It's my fault you're like this. I can't leave you."

"Yes you can." Gaara said sitting up though still clutching his gut. "You don't know what it would mean for you to get involved with me, what it means to get involved with my family."

"Do you have any idea," she asked him sternly, "how sick and tired I am of everyone trying to protect me or tell me what's best for me. Tell me the truth… do you want to be with me?"

"Its not that simple..."

"So explain it to me." she urged gently.

He looked at her with a strange fire in his eyes. "You've got enough problems you don't need me in your life."

Sakura inched closer to him. "I can handle my problems and I can help you to." She put her hand and his arm but he shook her off.

"I don't need your help and I didn't ask for it." He said scowling at her.

"You _let_ him hit you!"

Gaara ran his free hand through his hair and growled in frustration. "If I though fighting back was worth it I would. You heard what he said… I don't want to get sent away."

It hit Sakura like a bullet train. That voice belonged to Mayor Sabaku. It was so obvious; she had over heard a conversation between father and son. Ino had mentioned there was tension between the two. Gaara couldn't fight back, no wonder he got into so many fights at school. With all that pent up aggression he was bound to explode.

"I don't want to get you in trouble. If me being here puts you at some sort of risk I'll leave. But I'll tell you honestly I don't want to go." Sakura said

"I'm not the victim you think I am." He told her darkly. "And I don't want you here. You should go back upstairs."

"I should go back upstairs to Kankuro and Sasuke?" She asked innocently seeing if she could get a reaction out of him this way.

"What?" he asked and was it her imagination but did he actually sound distressed by the idea?

"Look at the big picture. "Kankuro and Sasuke want me. I want you. You're rejecting me…" She said slowly.

"You don't really want me. I took advantage of you when you were vulnerable. You're _still _vulnerable. You don't really want to be here."

"I liked you before my evil mother showed up. I probably wouldn't have acted on it if things hadn't gotten all crazy… but that doesn't change anything." Sakura said willing him to stop trying to push her away. She wasn't sure how it had come to this, but she did know that she wanted him to tell her how he felt. She wanted him to stop evading her.

If he was taking his father's threats seriously…if that was the reason he was pushing her away…

"We can just be friends if you want." Sakura offered. "Even when we're fighting… just being around you makes me forget about everything that's wrong with my life."

"Why are you saying these things? You can't be serious…Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?" he sneered.

She was beginning to get tired of running in this circle. "Why is it ridiculous?" she questioned him. "Why don't you just say what you want to say?"

"Are you that clueless?" he half shouted throwing his hand in the air. "Do you even get what you're saying? Sakura, you're this _amazing_ girl. People love you. Are you really going to give all of that up?" He asked. "Has no one told you? I'll destroy you. No one will want to have anything to do with you. If he thinks you're even making me the slightest bit happy he'll find out your dreams and he'll crush them in front of you."

"Let him try." Sakura said boldly. "Tsunade is dying… what do I have left to lose? I'm tired of walking on eggshells around this town just so people won't compare me to my mother. I'm going to do what I want and I'm going to be happy."

"You've gone crazy." Gaara said shaking his head.

"What? Are you saying I should sit quietly and let my grandmother die, that I should play nice with my mother… that I should go upstairs and ask Sasuke to take me back?" She said getting up off the mattress.

The redhead grabbed her wrist. "You are _not_ going back to Sasuke. I wanted to kill him when you told me how he treated you."

"How is this any different then how your father treats you?"

"My father is the mayor, Sasuke is just some dumb jock." He said. "There is no comparison. You chose to be with Sasuke, you don't get to pick who your parents are."

That was the truth. She would never in a hundred thousand years pick her mother for a parent. She wouldn't pick her as a dog walker. But at least her mother would never even think of hitting her. "Why should he get to keep you from being happy? And don't tell me that you're happy."

"Sakura…" He said letting go of her wrist.

"Aren't you going to wonder what will happen if I go upstairs? Ask me to stay…all you have to do is tell me you want me to stay." She asked surprised at the desperation she heard in her own voice.

Gaara leaned forward and cupped her face in with hand. "It would be selfish of me." He said making her throat constrict painfully. He held such an incurably sad expression on his face. It wasn't fair, it was terribly unfair…

She scooted closer to him; she shut her eyes and leaned into his touch. "I won't tell anyone…it can be our secret."

"If I make you leave will you really go back up there and find my brother or Sasuke?"

"No." Sakura said half laughing, though keeping her eyes closed. "Was I not completely obvious up there about who I wanted to go with?"

The boy didn't answer. Instead, she felt him pull her face toward his and he capture her lips with his.

It was unexpectedly harsh, angry and possessive. It immediately threw her mind into violent chaos. She couldn't act, she couldn't think, she couldn't breathe all she knew was that she wanted to keep kissing him. Slowly the kiss softened and became gentler, he let her take a breath before he began to nibble on her lips and slick his tongue over hers.

He pressed his body fully against hers and pressed her down on the mattress. Her legs became tangled with his and she felt a fluttering in her stomach. The rough material of his denim jeans against her bare legs and the thrill of his tongue invading her mouth overwhelmed her senses.

When he finally released her lips she felt him nuzzle her neck and plant sweet kisses on the exposed part of her chest. She flushed from the attention and secretly regretted having worn such a conservative dress.

She moved her body higher so he could gain better access to the tops of her breasts when she heard him wince. The edge of her hipbone had knocked against the spot where his father had hit him. She finally came to her senses. Sakura realized he was in no condition to keep going, that they were both in no condition to further their activities. Gaara was hurt and she was too emotional.

"We have to stop…" She said her chest heaving and her breath ragged.

Gaara lifted himself up with his arms but remained on top of the pink haired girl. He gazed down at her, "I want you to stay." He said firmly.

The resolution in his words gave her shivers. "I'm not going anywhere." She promised staring him straight in the eyes. "I'm just not ready to take things further yet."

"I don't care what we do, I just don't want you to leave."

Sakura wiggled out from underneath him and took her cell phone out of her pocket. "I'll call my grandmother and tell her I'm sleeping at Ino's tonight."

Gaara looked uneasy. "I don't want you to have to lie because of me."

She didn't want to lie either. Sakura didn't want him to get the impression she was ashamed or embarrassed about being with him. "Then I'll tell her the truth." She said. "Tsunade can keep a secret."

"She won't let you stay. No one in their right mind would let their daughter or granddaughter spend the night with me."

Sakura dropped the phone on the mattress and walked over to him on her knees. "Then I won't call her at all. I meant what I said, I'm not leaving." She said and tilted her face forward to give him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Well that's good," he said with a shadow of a smile. "I don't plan on letting you go."

* * *

**SO thats the end of that chapter! Did any of you ever see that episode of the simpsons I'm wonder... ANYWAYS i want to give a BIG OLE' THANKS to the reviewers who are consistently the most awesome people on the planet. Or in the universe... do they get internet on mars? **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey hullo how are you. This is the next chapter so I hope you like it. **

**I don't own Naruto.  
**

* * *

"Oh. My. Fucking. God."

"Temari!" Sakura hissed. "Keep it down… he's still sleeping." She said pointing to the redhead passed out on the mattress next to her.

They had stayed up until dawn talking and arguing with occasionally taking breaks for some really excellent kissing. It seemed that Gaara was somewhat of an insomniac. Every time they settled down to try and get some rest he was never able to fall asleep. Eventually Sakura was too exhausted to stay up with him any longer so she drifted off to sleep. When she awoke several hours later after she got over the shock of finding herself in bed with him she was tickled to find that the big bad Gaara was curled up like a baby snuggling with the thin blankets. No wonder she had been so cold, he had stolen all the covers!

"Have you completely lost your mind?" Temari shouted not at all heeding Sakura's advice to keep her voice down. "Did he drug you or something? Did he threaten you? Are you hurt in anyway?"

"No…" Sakura answered slowly. She stared at the older girl like _she _was the one who had gone crazy. Temari was his older sister, why did she let her father get away with keeping him locked away in the freezing basement like some misbehaving animal? "And again, please try to be quieter it took him forever to fall asleep."

"Look can you just tell me what you're doing down here? Did he rape you?"

"Rape me?" Sakura repeated furious that Temari would accuse her own brother of doing something so despicable. "My clothes are on, his clothes are on, I'm asking you to be respectful of his sleep… does it look to you like I was raped?"

Temari frowned deeply. "My brother is a bad person Sakura. He's capable of just about anything."

"Weren't you supposed to go to D.C with Kankuro and the Mayor? Why are you still here?" Sakura asked changing the subject. She really had no desire to hear whatever bullshit Temari was preparing to throw at her.

"I've got a job interview so they went with out me." Temari said distractedly. "Come upstairs with me, we need to discuss something."

Sakura crossed her arms and shot Temari a defiant look. She made no move to get out of bed.

The older girl sighed. "I'll show you were the kitchen is. You can make chocolate chip pancakes if you want… they're his favorite."

It didn't surprise her, Gaara always smelt a little bit like chocolate. Sakura carefully rolled herself off of the mattress, got up and followed Temari up the stairs. She hoped Gaara hadn't woken up from all the commotion. Perhaps he would be less of a grump if he got a few extra hours of sleep.

When the got to the top of the stairs Sakura was led into the most beautiful and pristine white kitchen she had ever seen. It looked like something out of some sort of reality TV cooking show. It also looked like it had never been used. Obviously the Sabaku's ordered in a lot.

"Sit." Temari ordered pointing to one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

A big part of Sakura wanted to tell Temari to go screw herself, but once upon a time Sakura had sort of looked up to Temari so perhaps out of habit Sakura walked over to the table and collapsed onto one of the chairs.

It was strange to be walking around such a fancy house barefoot, but it was even stranger to be sitting in the Sabaku kitchen wearing her clothes from the night before. She could just imagine how her makeup and hair were a smeared mess. Hopefully when Temari got done with whatever condescending lecture on the evil world of the Sabaku family Sakura would have a chance to find a mirror and clean herself up.

"Don't worry about your clothes." Temari said reading her mind. "Because when we're done talking, you're going home."

"That's-" Sakura tried, but the other girl cut her off.

"No." she said. "You're listening right now." She sat down in the seat next to the pink haired girl and leaned her elbow one the table and her chin in her hand. "For your own safety Sakura, I'm asking you to stay away from him."

"This is ridiculous…" Sakura muttered but waited for Temari to say more.

"He's a sociopath, he has no conscious. Everything is one big game to him, he says things and does things with deliberate intent. He is a manipulative liar who can feel absolutely no remorse." Temari said seriously. " I know you're taken in by some 'good girl meets bad boy' type fantasy but you have to wake up. He can hurt you, and make no mistake he _will_ hurt you, and he won't feel even the slightest bit of guilt.

"He's not like that!" The pink haired girl protested.

"Oh so you think you know him better than me?" Temari said confrontationally. "I'm his sister, I live with him. Do you think everyone in this town treats him the way they do because they just don't like him? He's a monster." She said her voice shaking. "There was someone in that church, did you know that? Someone was burned alive in the church fire he set. My dad has found the bodies of mutilated animals in our back yard. Gaara has stolen from all the shops around town, do you know how many favors my dad has had to do to cover that up and keep them from pressing charges. Dad caught Gaara in the garage two months ago taking drugs he stole from the pharmacy. What do you have to say to that Sakura?"

"I don't know." Sakura answered weakly. She was feeling stupid. She really _didn't_ know anything about Gaara. It actually made sense that the people in town had some legitimate reasons to ostracize him. She had just jumped right into things with him because she was attracted to him and he was presenting a challenge to her. Maybe she was getting off at the idea of 'good girl meets bad boy'. It was the kind of foolish thing her mother would do.

"I don't know _what_ he said to you that made you think it was safe for you to stay the night, but you have to assume that what ever it was is a lie." Temari put her hand on top of Sakura's. "Promise me you will stay away from him." She pleaded. "Promise me that you will leave this house and never return."

Why couldn't Temari have told Sakura all of this before Sakura had told Gaara she liked him? Did Gaara try to reject her because he knew it would make her try harder to be with him? Everyone in Konoha knew Sakura had a stubborn personality. Headstrong people, headstrong women especially were easily manipulated. Sakura wore her emotions like a banner, if he was as conniving as Temari suggested he would in no doubt be able to play her like a fiddle.

"I don't understand why he would go to the trouble…what could he possibly stand to gain from messing with me?" Sakura asked uncertainly. "I'm nobody special."

"You're kind of like…" The older girl said searching for the right words. "Konoha Barbie." She said finally.

Sakura laughed. "I think you've gotten me confused with Ino."

"I don't mean it like that…" Temari said rolling her eyes. What I mean is that you're so perfect its kind of unreal. You're bright, shiny and beautiful. You live in a beautiful house, you drive a shiny car, and you've got a bright future ahead of you."

Obviously Temari knew very little about her life. Those things were all superficial; they didn't represent anything that was truly important at that moment in her life. She was more concerned with Tsunade's health then anything else. The townspeople of Konoha really had a knack for shallow insight. "What does that have to do with anything?" she asked Temari somewhat annoyed.

"For someone as twisted and hateful as Gaara, you're a giant target. My guess is that he wants to dirty you, taint you, and make you unrecognizable. Don't let him, Sakura. Leave while you still can."

"But if I left right now…" Sakura said hesitantly. "Wouldn't that just make him angry? I'll wait until he wakes up and then I'll leave. I don't want to egg him on."

Truthfully, she didn't know which members of the Sabaku family could be trusted. Before she made _any_ assumptions about what the hell was going on in that house she wanted to hear everyone's side of the story. What Temari said made a frighteningly plausible story. But what if she said was in fact the truth, Sakura was going to have to be very careful in planning her next move.

Temari left for her job interview leaving Sakura alone in the kitchen. Temari had made the younger girl promise that as soon as Gaara woke up, she would say goodbye and never look back. Temari must not have heard that Haruno women were notorious for breaking promises.

It just didn't make sense. If Gaara had been pretending not to like her because he really didn't like her and wanted her to like him more for rejecting her then he would have warned her about different things. He would have talked up his drug use and arrest record and put on the bad boy act.

Instead, she overheard his father hit and threaten him. There was no way he could have faked the bruises on his skin or the sound of his father's voice telling him to stay away from her. There was a very real aspect of his fear of his father.

But maybe it was planned for her to overhear such things. She hadn't gone to the Sabaku house with the intention of spending the entire night there, she hadn't intended on staying out and not notifying Tsunade, and she hadn't intended talking to him for hours, telling him things about her that no one else knew.

Was everything he told her a lie? He talked all about his favorite books and his favorite authors, how could he fake having read all of those books? They talked about classes and teacher… He told her about working in the back of Konoha's one and only chocolate emporium. They never talked about their families so she never asked about his. She had a really difficult time believing he would go through this whole elaborate story just to pull the rug out from underneath her.

But she had an idea. It was an awful idea, and if Temari was wrong about him, and Gaara really was a good guy, than Sakura would surely be the most heinous bitch in all of Konoha. But she had to do it. It was the only way she could know for sure if what she was doing was going to put her in some sort of danger.

Sakura was going to steal one of his notebooks.

Now she couldn't take his recent notebook. No, he might notice that missing. Not to mention if he was a sociopath who was putting on an elaborate façade in an effort to ruin her life, than he might have 'left' that journal with her in hopes that she would read it and find whatever information he left in there to screw with her head. Sakura was going to have to take an old book, one he wouldn't have thought of doctoring and one he wouldn't miss.

"You don't have to cook breakfast, Sakura." Gaara said when he emerged from the basement with wet hair and clean clothing.

"I'm in Home Ec so I spent three weeks learning how to cook breakfast. I don't want to put my skills to waste." Sakura answered trying to ignore how cute he looked fresh from the shower. It was weird doing the awkward morning after thing with him even though they hadn't gone any further than kissing.

He shrugged disinterestedly. "You do what you want." He walked over to the sink and poured himself a tall glass of water. Out of the corner of her eye Sakura watched him discreetly and noiselessly reach his hand into the cabinet above the sink and pull out an orange prescription bottle. Despite her curiosity she looked away to allow him a little bit of privacy. He obviously did not want her to see him take the pills. She wondered whether people usually stored stolen drugs in their kitchen or if that was his own prescribed medicine he was taking.

"Just and FYI Temari didn't leave with your dad and brother. She was here this morning and she saw us together." Sakura said conversationally.

"Oh really?" Gaara said when he was done with the mysterious pill business. "Did she say anything interesting?" he asked equally casually.

The pink haired girl looked up from the bowl of pancake batter. "The usual… she made me promise to stay away from you."

"Yet you're still here."

"Astute observation." Sakura said sarcastically.

"You do realize that completely ignoring everyone who tells you bad things about me doesn't make you look rebellious it makes you look stupid." Gaara said giving her a long unnerving look.

"Your sister did mention I was only into you because of the thrill of good girl/bad boy drama. Personally I think it's probably because I'm mad at my mother and I don't have a daddy to love me." Sakura put a finger to her chin in faux contemplation. "Actually that last one means I should be getting with a male teacher or an authority figure. Hey your father is single isn't he?"

Gaara gave her his iciest glare and Sakura realized for better or for worse she loved the dangerous energy he gave off when he was angry almost as much as she loved how adorable he was when his cheeks were tinted pink after a particularly heated kiss. "Besides what does it matter to you why I'm hanging around?" she asked.

He shrugged his thin shoulders. "You just might want to stop and think before you wreck yourself over your fascination with me."

"Maybe you should stop being so damn fascinating then." Sakura said smiling prettily.

"Either way you're crazy."

"Says the kettle to the pot," she said pouring pancake batter onto the hot griddle. "And just try telling me your not fascinated right back at me."

He didn't, he just silently watched her finish making the pancakes.

Sakura felt the need to fill the void. "My mom used to make pancakes." She said flipping them one by one off the stove and onto a nearby plate. "They were about the only thing she could cook so she would make them for breakfast lunch and dinner. We would use them for sandwich bread sometimes."

"We have a chef who usually does the cooking. He is on holiday now hence the yearly dessert party. He never makes pancakes though, Temari asked him not to, she says they make her sick."

How pancakes could make anyone sick was beyond Sakura.

When she was through cooking she put the pancakes on the table and waited for Gaara to help himself.

When he started eating Sakura stood up to excuse herself. " I'm going to run downstairs and grab my shoes and purse. I can't stay much longer, Tsunade is probably going crazy right now." She said.

The redhead gave noncommittal grunt and began cutting his food. Sakura knew this was her best chance to snatch one of those journals She had to be quick though, she didn't want to arise suspicion.

There were stacks of notebooks on his desk so she took one from the middle and put it in her purse. It felt wrong, it felt so wrong, but she had to know whom she was dealing with. Before she let herself get attached to him she had to know what he was.

When she made it back up the stairs no more than a minute and a half later Gaara was still busy cutting his pancakes into pieces letting the melting chocolate ooze onto his plate. She was sure he was going to make a mess.

"I'm going to clean up and then go back." Sakura said heading for the dirty bowls and left over ingredients. "Do you want to do something this weekend? How long do we have until your dad gets back?"

"He won't be back until Monday. You can't come here though, not with Temari around. She's his little pet, she'll tell him everything." Gaara said playing with his fork. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Sakura wasn't the least bit sure of anything at this point. She wasn't in love with Gaara she didn't even like him all that much, she just wanted to be with him so badly it was clouding her senses. That had to account for something. She still had no idea what his motives were, if he had any at all. "Are _you_ sure? She asked in return. "You don't even like me."

"As of lately you've become slightly more bearable."

"I wonder why that is." Sakura said laughing.

"Because you smile more now." Gaara said offhandedly.

Sakura stopped laughing. It wasn't what she was expecting him to say at all. He was so unpredictable. "Its ironic isn't it? What a time to be smiling…"

"You said last night you were going to be happy, don't the two usually go hand and hand?"

"Probably." She answered flippantly. "So what do you say, mini golf? Drive through movie?"

Gaara looked at her like she had grown a second head.

"I was kidding." She said raising her eyebrows. "Believe it or not I'm not the mini golf type either." The boy remained silent. Sakura thought for a moment. "We should drive to the eastern shore. I've always wanted to ride the ferries and I don't think anyone will recognize us. You don't get seasick do you?"

"I've never been on a boat before. I don't get what's so amazing about riding a ferry, besides the fact that if you get too annoying I can easily get rid of you." He said.

"Ha-ha, very funny." Sakura said resisting the urge to smack him on the head. Part of her thought about what Temari said and wondered if he was serious about pushing her overboard. "If you don't want to go just say so."

"I don't want to go." He said bluntly.

"See was that so hard?" Sakura said hiding her disappointment well. "I'll tell you Gaara you should say what you mean more often." It would save her the trouble of having to steal his private journals.

"Fine, I'll go." He said almost begrudgingly and promptly stuffed his mouth with pancakes.

She looked at him strangely. He was like a little kid changing his mind every five seconds. Did he want to go or not? Why was he so damn confusing. If he really was a conniving lunatic he was doing one helluva job. "Seriously, its not a big deal. We can just hang out in the barn if you want."

Gaara put his fork down. "No," He sighed. "Lets do the ferry thing."

He said it like he was doing her some big favor or something. It was bad enough she had to convince him to go out with her. "Am I supposed to jump up and down, squeal, and then throw myself into your arms?" Sakura asked her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Not unless you were planning on giving me a lap dance…" He muttered digging into his pancakes once more.

Sakura rolled her eyes. At least she knew he was interested and the attraction wasn't one-sided.

"_Dream on_, Gaara Sabaku."

* * *

"I'm home." Sakura called as soon as she walked through the front door of her house.

"I thought we agreed," said Tsunade materializing from around the corner of the front hall, "that if you were going to be spending the night at Ino's that you were going to call me first. If you were any other teenager in the universe I would have been worried.

Sakura was half tempted to tell her where she had really been all night but that would throw the whole secrecy thing right out the window. She didn't want to go getting Gaara in trouble.

That was the one comforting thought. If Gaara were just playing with her his father would probably crucify him for it never mind sending him to the hospital. He must like her a little bit if he was putting himself in such danger to see her.

"Sorry, I fell asleep." Sakura said doing her best impression of a sincere apology. Things had been so tense between her and her grandmother lately that she didn't want to start a fight over something so minor. They were supposed to be above fighting over curfews.

"What are you wearing that for? Where did you two go last night?" Tsunade said narrowing her eyes at her grandchild.

"To the Sabaku party. Ino has a thing for Kankuro Sabaku." She lied. "I guess things with Choji are winding down."

"Did you have a good time? I haven't been to that party in years."

"It was an interesting crowd…

* * *

"Thanks for meeting with me Dr. Chiyo." Sakura said. "I considered meeting with a hepatologist but I thought it might be useful to see someone who knows how stubborn Tsunade is."

"Tsunade is an idiot." Chiyo grumbled at Sakura from the other side of her giant mahogany desk.

"That's nice." The teenager said disinterestedly. "So anyway… I want to give her part of my liver. How do I go about doing that? I've got to get some blood work done right?"

"No."

"No? I don't need any blood tests?" Sakura said elated because she was terrified of needles.

"I mean, No you can't give her part of your liver." Chiyo said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why the hell not?"

Chiyo exhaled noisily. " For starters, you're too young and she's too old."

"Oh no one pays attention to that rules these days." Sakura said with a dismissive gesture.

"Even if your ages weren't an issue there is still the fact that Tsunade is to this day a raging alcoholic. They won't let you give an alcoholic your liver."

"Well that's a stupid rule." Sakura groused.

"And frankly Sakura, Tsunade is just too damn sick. Not even in Mexico would they do this operation." Chiyo said with finality. She leaned back in her fancy leather chair and anticipating Sakura's outburst.

"Can't we just lie? What does it matter? It's my liver I can give it to ever the hell I want! Besides she doesn't really drink that much… I mean only a bottle or so a night. Which is irrelevant because it's _my_ liver and she's _my_ grandmother! I don't care what anyone says and I don't care if she doesn't want it. Your going to put us both under cut us open and give her part of my fucking liver!" Sakura cried.

It was such bullshit. Who the hell made these stupid rules anyways? If people didn't have to die why were these stupid stupid rules keeping them from living? It was so unfair it made her want to vomit. Why was everyone on the planet trying to undermine her attempts at prolonging Tsunade's life?

"I thought you were supposed to be smart." Chiyo said grimacing. Sakura found herself hating Chiyo's old wrinkly face. "You're just as stubborn as your grandmother."

"There has to be something I can do. What if I paid you? I've got a college fund… name your price." The teenager said slamming two hands on the desk forcefully.

"You just have to accept that this operation will never happen. All your grandmother can do is continue taking her medication and get her affairs in order. Take my advice and don't spend the little time you have left with her feuding over this nonsense." The doctor said wisely.

Sakura sighed dejectedly and fell back into her chair. "I just don't understand how I let this happen." She said. "I've lived with her for years, I should have gotten her to stop drinking when I still had the chance."

"You think your something else don't you? What the hell makes you think you would be able to stop a lifetime alcoholic from drinking? You have to stop blaming yourself and stop trying to fix things. You need to accept this, Tsunade already has."

"Everyone keeps telling me to accept it. Don't you think if it were that easy, that simple, I would just do it? Stop telling me to accept it and help me be proactive."

Sakura had always imagined her mother would be the first of them to die. Her mother with her reckless behavior and bad relationship choices was clearly the safer bet. Tsunade was a woman of medicine, she should know better then to abuse her liver until it was beyond repair. Sakura kept waiting from some one to shake her from the nightmare or come out and say it was all a mean joke. She resented Chiyo for treating her in the same clinical and insensitive manner Tsunade was.

She wished there was some sort of manual she could follow. Some sort of _' How to deal with the imminent death of your favorite person in the world while trying to escape the custody claims of your useless mother plus tips on how to tell if the sexy outcast you're fraternizing with is a sociopath'_ yeah, that would be really nice. Hello, New York Times Bestseller Book List.

"Just please," Sakura begged, " tell me what I can do."

The old woman gave her a look of pity. Chiyo reached into her desk and pulled out a business card. She handed it to Sakura.

"What's this?" The pink haired girl asked squinting to read the name on the card.

"It's the name of a psychologist you can see. She specifies in grief counseling. Maybe she can help you."

"_Seriously?_" Sakura asked both shocked and disgusted. "I ask you for advice and you give me the name of some quack." She said bolting upright out of her chair. With unsuppressed fury she tore the card up into dozen of little pieces and through them at Dr. Chiyo.

The old doctor remained unperturbed but continued to regard her sadly at the teenager. "It was very nice to see you again Ms. Haruno. I'll be saying a prayer for your grandmother." She said. "Now if you'll excuse me," she said picking up the phone and putting it to her ear, "I've got a consult call in a minute."

Sakura shook her head and didn't speak. She pushed the chair she had been sitting in to the side and strode swiftly and angrily out of the room. If there was one thing she hated it was being dismissed. Was that how doctors these days did business? They handed their patients a therapist's card and sent them on their way. Sakura didn't need a therapist she needed a transplant surgeon for crying out loud!

But she was not deterred. If there was away to keep her grandmother alive she was going to find it. She _had_ to find it.

At that moment though, she was hurrying home to where Gaara's notebook laid untouched on her dresser. She had some reading to do.

* * *

**Thanks for reading and also THANKS FOR REVIEWS they're really sweet and all the reviewers are awesome awesomeness. **

**Preview of the next chapter? Well I think thats obvious my loves, GAARA'S notebook. amongst other things of course...  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm warning you right now this chapter is long and so angst ridden I think it might just implode. My own life is going through some drastic changes so I'm a little high strung at the moment. I feel my writing will reflect that so hold on for that. Thats also why I didn't do a thorough job responding to reviews. Sorry if you got left out in the rain. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. ALSO the figurative language bits are the works of Kahlil Gibran. NOT MINE! I can't write pretty thing but i wanted Gaara to write pretty things so I added him in there. so people the center indent is all KAHLIL GIBRAN. thanks so much.  
**

_

* * *

September 7 _

_I've just gotten out of gym. Sasuke Uchiha put my street clothes in a toilet. Anyone else on the planet would be to chicken shit to mess with me, but that kid knows that they mayor specifically forbade me from touching him. He's got immunity and it kills me. I wanted to flush _him_ down the toilet. If I hadn't had a spare set of clothes in my locker I would of said the hell with my father and gone ahead and kicked his ass. _

_I'm in science now and I'm a little on edge. I'm feeling manic and I can't sit still. We're doing a lab right now and someone is absent making today's class size an even number. Despite both of our protests I was paired with Kiba Inuzuka. Kiba is about as smart as he is obnoxious so maybe I should be letting him do all the work while I sit here writing, but I don't want to lose control and end up in the principles office._

_Kiba is working so diligently because he knows that unlike Sasuke, there is no one protecting him from my wrath. He knows that if he pisses me off for even the slightest reason he will end up with a Bunsen burner up his nose.

* * *

  
_

_September 9_

_I was called down to counseling today. It happens at least once a year. A teacher (never a student always a teacher) becomes concerned and hence I receive a referral. Something about my presence is unsettling in any classroom, and I am not inclined to care. _

_The counselor wants me to care. Every year she tries to get me to care. But why should I? Why should I care what any of those people think of me? I have no desire to become one of them and I think a lot of them would be more comfortable if I were dead. _

_She asked me if I thought about killing myself. The way she said it sounded more like a suggestion than a question so I chose to ignore it. I haven't considered ending my own life, but I dream of my own death. I don't think dying could be any more painful than the trials and tribulations man faces in his everyday life. _

_I read about this disease, _human African trypanosomiasis, _its also known as _Sleeping Sickness. _The disease is spread by the Tsetse fly and is prevalent in underdeveloped countries in Africa. People who get the disease sleep until they fall into comas and then they die. It doesn't sound like that bad of a way to go if you ask me. I don't think I would be devastated if I contracted this disease. I would never make the effort to kill myself, but I don't think dying would be that bad. _

_But when I think about it, it not that I wish I were dead, its that I wish I had never been born. _

_I remember four years ago when I was in the sixth grade Temari left her anxiety medication on the kitchen table after she left for a date. She left thirty-two pills sitting out next to an open bottle of water. I remember counting them; I remember closing my hand around all thirty-two little white pills and thinking about the consequences of taking my life. _

_Temari would be pleased. I had no doubt she left the two bottles out in the hopes that I would down them. Unlike Kankuro she never really did make an effort to hide the fact she hates my guts. I started to wonder whether or not she was always leaving the hair dryer plugged into the wall of the bathroom in the minute chance I would forget that electrical appliances don't belong in the bathtub with me. I don't even take baths though. I suppose it would be a lot easier for her if I were to die. For everyone in the house I'm a living reminder of the mother and wife they lost. But to Temari, I'm the one person in the world who knows the truth, the secret that had the power to ruin her life. Not that anyone would believe me. _

_No one will mourn me when I die. I doubt I would even be given a funeral. I could see the mayor donating my body to medical science. There is no one on this entire planet that I love and I will love no one in return. I don't mind that my family hates me or that I have no friends, its better this way. I'm not the type of person who can interact with other people. I wasn't designed to make friends or to have fun. If I wanted to validate my existence I can do it with my fist. Anytime I am forced to mix and socialize with other people things always end badly. I don't understand them and I don't want them to understand me. I inevitably end up angry and to my chagrin, somewhat confused. _

_That day my sister left her pills on the counter I decided to live. Maybe I chose life to defy and rebel against their ill wishes, maybe I did it just to piss them off, but when I think back to that day all I can remember is that the night before I slept on the back lawn._

_I've never been camping before so I figured this might be my only chance to fall asleep under the stars, it had nothing to do with the fact the mayor kicked me out of the house the night before. I've _always_ wanted to sleep on the lawn. _

_I thought it was supposed to be some sort of spectacular vision, I thought that looking up at these little white pin points in the sky was supposed to humble me and make me wonder about reason and purpose in the universe. Maybe I'm just unimaginative but when I looked up all I saw were dots in the sky. I think it was a good thing though, wondering about reason and purpose is agonizing enough with out the constant reminder that you are insignificant in the giant scheme of things. _

_So I drifted off completely dissatisfied and absolutely freezing despite that it was a night in the middle of May. _

_When I awoke the next morning it was just as the sun was rising. I stared at the sun while it burned its impression on to my retinas and my eyes began to water. It doesn't hurt to look directly at the sun because of its immense brightness but because of its immense purpose. The sun is everything to us. Without the sun we couldn't exist. Ancient peoples use to pray to the sun, the sun god was the most powerful god in heaven. _

_I realize the stars that I dismissed the night before are nothing other than the suns in their own solar systems but it's not the same. I don't know those suns. Worshipping them would be a betrayal to our sun here on earth. _

_While I was marveling at the rising sun it began to dawn on me (no pun intended) that my clothes were soaking wet. Dew had formed on me while I was sleeping. I was no different that the grass I walk on everyday. I was no different than the birds and animals that slept outside every night of the week. It was the human beings inside sleeping comfortable in beds I couldn't relate to. _

_But maybe I don't have to be like them. Actually, I don't think I want to be like them at all. I'm the one who is always letting his temper get the best of him and I'm the one who gets in trouble for fighting, but I know I'm not where near as angry at life at they are. I think that the mayor and my sister hate being alive. They are like glass to me, I can see that inside they are consumed by resentment and loathing, not just for life and the world but also for themselves. _

_Deep down I feel sorry for them, they live under the fantastic weight of a burden they have put on their own shoulders. At the same time my pity makes me despise them. There is no reason they should not be able to overcome the pain in their lives. _

_The children I go to school with are equally pathetic, always concerned with the most asinine of issues like what color football jerseys should be or what brand of shoes were acceptable to wear. They're the ones who should kill themselves. What the hell is the point of living if you plan on wasting your precious time whining about spilling ketchup on your favorite shirt or complain about a difficult homework assignment? _

_So fuck them. Fuck all of them. The mayor, my sister, those stupid, stupid kids at school. Death doesn't scare me.

* * *

  
_

_September 13_

_Could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; and you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

* * *

  
_

_September 18_

_I'm in history class right now. Mr. Hatake is giving a lecture on concubines in ancient Mesopotamia and is under the false impression that his students are paying attention. Why does he even bother? Any minute now he is going to give up and retreat to his stash of porn under his desk. _

_I have the grave misfortune of sitting behind Sasuke Uchiha and his cronies Suigestu and Jugo. Sasuke Uchiha is describing to any guy who will listen (which considering the content is just about every guy in class) some explicit sexual encounter he had with Sakura Haruno. _

_I'm fairly certain Sasuke Uchiha is full of shit. First of all Sasuke is flaming gay (he is constantly staring at Naruto Uzumaki when he is changing in the locker room) and couldn't find a woman's g spot if his life depended on it. I can't even begin to write about the numerous occasions I've wanted to smash my fist through his pretty boy face. I don't understand why all the girls chase after him like he is the single greatest guy on the face of the earth. He's not even that good of a football player. _

_The other reason I think Sasuke is just making shit up is because Sakura Haruno is so high strung she would never let Sasuke near her ass with a cucumber. _

_Sakura is another one people tend to fawn over and attempt to emulate. She is like their princess or something. That girl rides up to school in her Barbie convertible and struts through the halls like they're her personal catwalk or runway. Sakura would probably have some sort of self-destruct or meltdown if she got anything lower than a ninety five percent on a test. _

_She is not at all attractive, in fact I find her pretty hideous. People claim she is the best looking girl in school but I don't see it. When I look at her I'm always shocked by how ugly she really is. Her face makes me want to hurl. In elementary school she was always the girl I wanted to push in the mud and ruin her little outfits._

_Sakura is transparent. Underneath all of those A pluses and fake smiles she is the most miserable girl in school. She always looks like she is on the verge, of what I can't tell you, but she is definitely on the verge._

_I will never understand why people who are so clearly different try so hard to fit in.

* * *

  
_

_September 19_

_I was at the doctors today. While I waited for my appointment I wandered down to the neurology. Some of the patients have diseases in which they are losing control of their own bodies. _

_I watched a man in the waiting room there for a while. He had a tremor and some involuntary movement. He muscles and limbs were moving without his brain giving them orders to. He wasn't in control of his own body. _

_The woman he was with saw me staring and invited me to sit down with them, that's how I learned he had neurodegenerative disease. _

"_My father has __Corticobasal degeneration, it's kind of like Parkinson's." she said patting him on the back. "Well at least that's what the doctors are theorizing. It could be another type of Parkinson's type disease." _

_The man couldn't seem to stop his arms and neck from twitching and moving. "Does it hurt?" I asked. "Is he in pain?" _

"_It's a different pain than what you and I feel. He doesn't say, but I believe he is in a lot of pain." _

"_You take care of him?" _

_She smiled sadly. "Yes. It's hard and sometimes I wish there was some one else… but I'm sure you would do the same for your father." _

_Something about her honesty sparked my own. "I would never take care of my father if he were sick. I don't even think he would want my help." _

_The woman regarded me curiously. I could tell she was surprised by my words but she didn't look disdainful. "How old are you?" she asked. _

"_Sixteen." I told her. "I'm in the tenth grade." _

_Her eye lit up and she laughed. "I remember fighting with my parents when I was your age, we never could agree on a reasonable curfew." She said. "It will pass. Soon you'll come to regard your parents as friends." _

_I highly doubted that would ever happen. Even if he were on his deathbed I don't think the mayor would have a single kind word for me. But the woman next to me was already experiencing one of the world's ugliest truths, so I didn't want to further disillusion her on the sacred relationship between parent and child. "Is he going to die?" I asked changing the subject. _

"_Well technically we're all going to die eventually." She said making a funny face. "But yes, he is going to die soon." _

"_I'm sorry." I said feeling awkward for some unknown reason. _

"_Don't be. He can't wait to die. A lot of the men and women in the room wish they could just die and be over with it." She said gesturing to the patients around us. _

"_Their diseases…" I said slowly working it out, "their pain…it's not all physical is it?" _

"_There is nothing more terrifying than losing control. I think the pain he feels in his heart is more agonizing than anything else. A lot of patients are ashamed and embarrassed of their conditions. They rather die to preserve their dignity than continue living horrible half lives." _

_I think she might be on to something. A week and a half ago I lost control of myself and ended up beating the crap out of a senior Kimimaro. Fighting is the most liberating act on earth. The power and the recognition are intoxicating. There is something about making your opponent bleed, something about _winning_ that gives me the ultimate euphoria. _

_But when it's over, when I realize what I've _lost_ its shameful. She is right, there is nothing more terrifying than losing control. Kimimaro was sent to the hospital, I broke his arm and his collarbone. If the security guards hadn't shown up when they did I think I would have killed him. I couldn't stop. I couldn't hold myself back. It is _weakness_. _

_I continued talking to the woman for another couple of minutes before I realized I was going to be late for my appointment. She must not have been from Konoha or else I seriously doubt that she would have struck up conversation with me or commented on 'what a nice young man' I was. _

_After she left it struck me that it had been months since I had spoken civilly to anyone. Sometimes I have to speak aloud because I am in danger of forgetting the sound of my own voice.

* * *

  
_

_September 20 _

_Keep a watchful eye over yourself as if you were your own enemy; for you cannot learn to govern yourself, unless you first learn to govern your own passions and obey the dictates of your conscious.

* * *

  
_

_September 21_

_This new medicine is making me sick. I haven't eaten in two days. Temari is throwing a fit because at the rate I'm going she is going to have to take in all of my pants to keep them from falling down. She extracted her revenge by feeding me expired milk. I spent a quarter of the night dry heaving in to a bucket. The mayor looked so smug, he said if I couldn't control myself I would end up sleeping on the lawn. I wanted to break his face but I knew it wasn't worth it. When I went to go upstairs and brush my teeth, someone had poured the bucket on to my bed. I bet it was Temari. _

_I've been thinking about getting a job. If I saved up enough money, I could buy a cheap used car and get the hell out of Konoha. Although even if I had the money and means I have a strange reluctance to leave this place. I don't recognize what it is that is holding me back. _

_Sometimes Konoha can be so beautiful it smothers me. On a fall day like today, the leaves on the surrounding mountain forests are warm shades of pinks, reds, and gold, and they attract many admires. People flock from the city to our little country town to stare open mouthed at the brilliant colors they way little babies marvel at shiny objects. _

_Do they even realize what it is they are gaping at? I think humans are so entranced by the beauty of autumn because they never knew death could look so magnificent. Because that's what it is after all, its death, those leaves are _dying.

_It's not possible for humans to die beautifully. Our deaths are something else entirely.

* * *

  
_

_September 22_

_The things I know_

_They escape me_

_Truth hides behind these secrets _

_We have built in our houses, taught to our children _

_Is there nothing so sacred? _

_Forgive me I have misspoken_

_Is there nothing so scarce?_

_Forgive me I have misspoken_

_Is there nothing so sacred?_

_We have built in our houses, taught to our children_

_Truth hides behind these secrets_

_They escape me_

_The things I know

* * *

  
_

_September 24_

_Kurenai and Asuma are getting married. _

_The idea of marriage is something that eludes me. Perhaps it is because I believe love is an illusion and the idea of being bound to a person terrifies me. Either way I doubt I will ever be married. _

_Its kind of ridiculous, you give someone and ring and sign a piece of paper and all of the sudden you've given them the keys to your house, your car, and your bank account. It's like asking to be betrayed. Besides, Kurenai and Asuma were just fine _not_ married so why bother with nuptials? Over half of all marriages end in divorce anyways…_

_I don't think there is anyone out there who would want to marry me. I like to check girls out, but the majority of them, when they open their mouths and start to talk… there is nothing more unattractive than an idiot lacking originality. There isn't a single girl in Konoha who I would waste my time on. _

_I think the feeling is mutual. _

_I wonder what my mother saw in the mayor when she married him. I can't even imagine what she thought his redeeming qualities were. I can't imagine because I don't know anything about her. I've seen pictures and I hate to admit it but she looked generally stupid and unhappy. Temari insists she was this goddess on earth but I'm not so sure. How wonderful could she have been if she voluntarily married the mayor and gave birth to his three children. _

_I still kind of wish I had gotten to meet her.

* * *

  
_

_September 26_

_Its third period math class and I feel like taking a nap. I can't even remember the last time I had a full night's sleep. _

_We're watching a movie about complex numbers. Chouji and Ino are sitting in the desks to my left and for some bizarre reason they are holding hands. I understand that holding hands is something couples frequently do I'm not an idiot… but what is it about an algebra movie that makes them feel the need for physical contact? It disturbs me. _

_I don't understand dating anymore than I understand marriage. Most relationships end in disaster and most people don't marry their high school sweethearts (my parents being the exception) so why bother with it? I get that guys do it so they can have sex on a regular basis, but what do girls get out of the deal. It's only a matter of time before they're hiding in the stalls of the girls bathroom crying because their boyfriend 'broke their heart'. Are a couple free movie and dinners worth it? _

_I would never agree to date anyone, not that I think the problem would ever arise… but still I feel like I would fail dating. I've seen dates on TV, boys are supposed to do silly things like put their arm around their girl, pay for things, and convince them they want intercourse. I don't think I could do any of those things without hating myself more than I already do. _

_Having sex on a regular basis would be pretty cool though.

* * *

  
_

_September 27_

_I think my zygomatic bone is broken, it's all swollen and purple, like someone smashed blackberries on my face. The puffiness has made it difficult to see out of my right eye. _

_It might have been worth it if the mayor had used his fist, then at least his hand would be broken too. But he didn't and its not. I guess I was lucky the glass bottle didn't shatter into pieces when he hit me with it. That could have been problematic. _

_I might deserve my wound; I was foolish enough to fall for one of Temari's lies. She told me that the bookstore was giving away books, journals, and CDs because they were going out of business. I don't have very many possessions and I like books, notes, and CDs so I thought I would check it out. _

_The irony of the situation was I hadn't even tried taking the merchandise out of the store when I was accused of stealing, I was simply holding two CDs in my hand while I looked at books. By the time the mayor arrived to sort things out, they had already gotten the sheriff who wanted to place me under arrest. I was furious because I had done nothing wrong. Together the owner and the police officer stood there insulting me. They called me a thief, a freak, and an animal. I hadn't spoken to or met either man in my entire life. Before I knew it, I was cursing and throwing (and landing) punches on both men. It took three officers to pull me off of them. _

_When we got home the mayor took the bottle of wine his secretary had gotten for him from California that was sitting on the counter and swung it, and hit me twice, once in the gut and once in the face. I threw up, either because of the blow to my stomach or because of the excruciating pain on my face. _

_It still aches loudly enough that my entire head is throbbing. I wish I had some ice or something to hold against it to help the swelling go down. It's been a while since I got such a beating. Its lucky that I have such a violent reputation that way no on suspects that the mayor gives me half the bruises they see and almost every bruise they don't see. _

_People might get upset and call it child abuse, but they mayor isn't abusing me. He is an asshole and I hate him but has never once hit me when I haven't done something to deserve it. Maybe not when I was little… but at least now I am old enough and strong enough to defend myself if I wanted to. I'm not weak and I'm not a victim. I'm more violent than he'll ever be.

* * *

  
_

_September 28_

_Last night I dreamt I was on fire. When I woke up I could smell burning flesh.

* * *

  
_

_September 29_

_I still can still smell it. My face hurts and I can't sleep.

* * *

  
_

_September 30_

_It rained today. I hate the rain, because when it rains more than two inches, the basement tends to flood. I learned the hard way to keep my notebooks on top of shelves. I would go crazy if I couldn't write. It the only way I know I'm alive. _

_I don't know what's worse, people glaring at me, hating me, spitting on me; or people ignoring me, looking through me, not evening noticing me sitting there. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I don't know what I _can_ do with my life. I don't interact well with people. I can't spend ten minute with another human being with out wanting to tear their eyes out (or some other graphic form of violence). I guess I was meant to be alone. _

_Not that I mind being alone. I _don't _mind it at all. I prefer to be alone. Like I said before the very presence of another person irritates me. While I know I will never have to 'love' another person I think I might have to be able to tolerate them. _

_I've started to think seriously about getting a job. Temari has been withholding food again. On the very rare occasions in which I do have an appetite I have to scrounge for food like an animal. It's almost winter so I'll probably need money to buy warm clothes or some new boots. I highly doubt the mayor is going to fork over the cash for that, so I am going to have to come up with my own. _

_I don't know what kind of work I'm suited for, I don't know who I can get to hire me either. If I had a car I could go a town over to find work. My reputation is widespread but not everyone in the neighboring towns has heard of me. There is also that tiny aspect of my criminal record. I might have to wait until I'm 18 and that thing is sealed away. _

_My face is still throbbing. I don't think its healed much at all. Sometimes the pain is so unbearable I hold my breath until I pass out, just to escape it. What's worse is that I can't sleep at night. I never was able to sleep for more than a couple of hours but now I can't sleep at all. I keeping have nightmares, not visual nightmares though… I smell things and I hear things. It's fifty degrees down here and I wake up covered in sweat and sometimes vomit. It's lucky that the washing machine is down here with me. _

_I think right now I might be a mess. I feel weak and pathetic, I don't know what I am going to do._

* * *

_September 30_

_I bit myself while I was sleeping and now I'm covered in blood. I'm still shaking from the terror. I hope my screams didn't wake the mayor or Temari. If either comes down here and sees the blood I think they will try putting me away again. I wasn't even sure the blood was real until I saw the bite on my chap lips and tasted the metallic flavor of blood in my mouth._

_It must have rained again because the floor is covered in water. I thought it was blood when I first stood up out of bed. I lost all feeling in my legs and landed face first into a wet puddle. I cried out in relief when I tasted sweet rainwater. I don't know how much longer I can continue on like this. I need sleeping pills, pain pills, anxiety pills; there has got to be something to keep the nightmares from ruining me. _

_It's almost midnight, its minutes away from being an entirely new month. Nothing will change. That I know.

* * *

  
_

Sakura couldn't read anymore. Taking the book in the first place had been so wrong. She should have just trusted that he wasn't a manipulative liar. She should have never invaded his mind, he had written his most private thoughts in that book. It wasn't her place to read them. If he wanted her to know these things he would tell her. She had betrayed his trust.

Worse even, she had no idea how to take the information she had read. She knew he wasn't a sociopath, he quite clearly felt many different emotions, but she didn't know what the basis of his interests in her was. Apparently he wasn't attracted to her and had no desire to date in general.

Could he be using her for sex?

No, like he said he wasn't attracted to her. Gaara was really handsome and he made her feel all warm and tingly inside. If he tried he could probably gain the affection of a girl he really did like. Surely he realized this. Guys don't use girls for sex if they know there is a girl they like better who is an easy catch.

She had thought that when he kissed her he felt something but maybe she was wrong. Her last boyfriend had been Sasuke after all, who apparently wasn't even interested in girls. Sakura had never picked up on that. If she was that oblivious to Sasuke's feelings, she might be misinterpreting Gaara's too.

She had even conned him into going on a date with her. She was pathetic.

Having a mini insight into his life made her want to be with him even more, to show him that there was no reason for such a talented and thoughtful person to be alone. Sakura was about to delude herself into believing he was simply just a misunderstood guy, he clearly had some issues and the realms of violence, self-preservation and childhood trauma; but he wasn't all bad.

What it really came down to was their date tomorrow. If she wanted him, this was her chance to show him that she wasn't some Barbie, or princess, or any of that other nonsense. He had to see that she was just as human as anyone else in the world. She was going to show him that with out the make up and the outfits and the achieving she was a Sakura he could like and spend time with.

She was going let herself be free with him in hopes that he would be comfortable opening up to her as well. But she knew she would have to be careful. If he found out she took his notebook, his precious notebook, she had a feeling he would never forgive her or trust her again. And that would crush her.

* * *

**Ok that crappy poem in the middle is actually mine. I don't know how to write poetry at all. I don't know what Iambic pentameter is. English was never my strongest subject. I'm a history and Sciences girl. So yeah I took a minute and wrote it. I don't think the content matters just I got quite a number of reviews suggesting Gaara was a poetry guy. So there thats a poem. I also got some ideas about his nightmares. While i don't think i really detailed those nightmares, I spoke of them so I would also like to thank my reviewers for that advice too. **

**Just in general really. THANKS TO ALL THOSE SWEET ASS REVIEWERS!  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Wow Watch out for this epic date chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

"You can pick a radio station if you want." Sakura offered in an attempt to ease the tense silence that had enveloped the two.

Thing had been awkward since the moment Sakura picked Gaara up from outside his house. She didn't know whether she was supposed to hug or kiss him on greeting, never in her entire life had she been this clueless about or nervous for a date. In the end she decided she would play it cool and she settle for a small smile and wave, which of course he didn't return. Gaara was looking as stoic as ever standing with his hands shoved carelessly into the pockets of his black zip up. They made a quick transition from doorstep to car and drove east out of Konoha.

Sakura didn't ask what he had told his sister in order to get out of the house, she trusted that he was smart enough to know how not to get in trouble. She herself had a tough enough time escaping her nutty mother. Mrs. Haruno had somehow gotten it into her head that it would be a good idea for her and Sakura to spend the day shopping for New York apartments with Johnny on the internet. Sakura had been furious with Tsunade for making no effort to object to that nonsense. She ended up having to lie and say she had to drive up to the watershed to collect water samples for her Environmental Sciences class. Even then it took some convince for them to let her leave.

So now she was driving in the car with Gaara, the only noise being the gentle growl of her car's engine. She waited for him to turn on the radio. She waited for him to do _anything _to ease the discomfort of the situation. Instead he just sat there with his arms crossed looking bored. She was _boring_ him. She knew he had some social functioning issues but seriously, he could at least make an effort. Every time they got together it was like starting over from the beginning. From his frosty demeanor no one would ever believe that just the other night he had his tongue in her mouth. Sakura wasn't sure how to handle this.

"I've got that funky satellite radio, so you can listen to virtually any genre of music you like." She said keeping her eyes on the road.

"I don't really know anything about music." Gaara admitted. "I don't know what kind I like."

It was an unpleasant reminder that the boy next to her probably had a pretty deprived childhood. If Gaara didn't have a bed than it was a safe bet he also didn't have an Mp3 player. Sakura hoped that she hadn't embarrassed him.

"Oh." She said like it was no big deal. " I'm kind of a classic rock fan. I like the bands Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, The Doors and Fleetwood Mac. Those are my very favorites. But I'll listen to anything with a decent guitar player."

"I think I've heard of those bands." Gaara said slowly. "That's the music our parents listened to. There is a box of my mom's old records in my room."

"You've got vintage records?" Sakura asked excitedly. "Tsunade threw all of my moms stuff out when she left Konoha. I would have killed to hear the vinyl versions. If your mom had some good records then I wonder if my mom did too."

"Why do you say that?"

Sakura wasn't really sure what to tell him. She wondered just how much he knew about his mother. "Well I heard that back in the day our moms were friends."

"Really?" he asked with disinterest.

It seemed like he didn't care or already knew that their parents had all known each other. It certainly wasn't surprising. If his parents and Sakura's mom had grown up in the same town it was highly likely that they knew each other. It didn't mean they were friends though.

"Yeah, I know right? Weird." She said letting another silence fill the car. Just when she thought they had a conversation going it dies in the blink of an eye. They had never had this much trouble talking before. It was getting ridiculous.

Finally Gaara spoke again. "Where is your father?" he asked curiously. "Was he from Konoha too."

Sakura unconsciously gripped the steering wheel tightly. "My father? Well…he uh…" she said trailing off. In the past they had always avoided the topic of fathers. But she felt like she owed it to him after getting a glimpse into his father's nature via the incident on Thanksgiving and the stolen notebook.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." He said staring out the window. "I don't really care."

"No its ok." Sakura said forcing a smile. "I'm just not sure how to answer. To this day there is a little bit of mystery surrounding the topic of my paternity."

"You mean you don't know?"

The pink haired girl shrugged while her hands wrapped around the wheel even more tightly than before. "I've narrowed it down to a couple of guys." She said. "Its definitely not anyone from Konoha though. She had me four years after she left. If my calculations are correct I was conceived in the city of Philadelphia. That means, if my mother's stories have any truth to them, that my father is either Benny, the dirty cop, or Angelo, the Chippendale."

"Oh," Gaara said obviously sorry he asked.

"Yeah… I've actually never told anyone that, and the ladies in town would have a field day with that information…

"Who would I tell? You're the only person who talks to me outside my family." Said Gaara. He made it sound like she was stupid for even suggesting he would betray her confidence. It made her feel even guiltier about the notebook.

"Right." Sakura said concentrating on the road. "Besides, with my mother actually in Konoha they've got enough to gossip about."

"When is she leaving?"

"I don't know. She still seems to be under the impression that I'm going to leave with her. The woman is delusional. She keeps dropping hints about her and Johnny 'starting a family together'. I think the only reason she is trying to get me to live with her is because she is pregnant. She knows she isn't fit for motherhood, she's tried and failed at that before, but Tsunade isn't going to be around to raise another one of her children, so that leave me."

Gaara didn't answer but out of the corner of her eye she could see he was staring at her. "Is something wrong?" she asked puzzled by his behavior. He was making her nervous again.

"You look different." He said almost thoughtfully.

Sakura touched her face self-consciously. "I'm not wearing makeup." She said smiling apprehensively. "Is it good different or bad different?"

The redhead shrugged and resumed staring out the window. "It doesn't really matter…"

He never did make things easy. He apparently already didn't think she was very good looking before, she felt so naked with out her usual make up on, she wondered if she made a mistake by not wearing it. Didn't he understand that she was trying to look good to please _him_? She didn't want to annoy him or burden him with her insecurities, it was just with all the mixed messages she needed reassurance he was interested. It was clear now though, that she wasn't going to get it. Gaara Sabaku was slightly infuriating.

"Well you're looking as dark and gloomy as ever. Do you own any clothes that aren't black?" she asked sardonically. "You always looked like your dressed for a funeral."

The boy ignored her and continued looking out the window as if she hadn't spoken at all. She didn't even know if he had heard her. He gave no reaction at all. Either way, Sakura immediately felt guilty and ashamed at having reverted back to insulting him. She kept having to remind herself he grew up in a house where kindness didn't exist and he was hardly treated any better than an animal would be. She didn't want to add to the grief in his life.

"But I guess its smart to wear dark colors in the winter, they keep your body warmer." She said in a lame attempt to fix things.

Sakura glanced over at him but he still seemed to be off in another world. She couldn't tell whether or not he had been listening in the first place but she supposed it didn't matter. Maybe this who idea had been a mistake.

Up above the car clouds were forming and the sky was darkening.

* * *

They were the only two sitting on the uncovered portion of the boat. There were a couple people waiting inside the cabin of the ferry and there were a few families sitting in their cars down below. It seemed the low hanging clouds, the thick fog, and bitter cold were effectively deterring people from venturing outside. Sakura and Gaara were the only people who seemed crazy enough to brave the weather.

The couple sat on a dirty bench facing the bow of the boat in another bout of silence. They had barely said three sentences to each other since that painful little conversation and her telling him she would kill him even he tried smoking in her car. It had to be about twenty degrees outside; personally, Sakura felt like she was freezing to death and she was wearing a heavy jacket, so Gaara in his mere hoodie must have been feeling even colder. Yet they sat a good inch apart, careful not to accidentally touch each other. Sakura wouldn't have minded if Gaara tried to get a little closer but she was too nervous to move in herself.

"I wonder…" Gaara said so quietly Sakura almost didn't catch it.

"You wonder what?" she asked overjoyed that he was actually talking to her with out any pushing on her part.

"I wonder if this is anything like sailing. I know it's a boat…but is this how Dana felt the first time he boarded a ship?" he said standing up and walking up to the side railing. He leaned against it and watched the little sea waves crash against the hull of the boat.

Sakura finally realized he was talking about the book from their English project. The book had been her inspiration for the date. She thought riding a boat would give them a better idea of how to write about one. She sat up off the bench and joined him against the railing.

"I'm sure sailing is a totally different experience. I think it must be more exciting." She said looking down. "Either way though, the waves are kind of hypnotizing aren't they? I think that goes for sailboats and motor boats alike."

She had never noticed how peaceful a boat ride could be. Next to her Gaara had his eyes closed and his face pointed in the direction of the oncoming wind. His normally sullen features looked contented. He didn't seem to mind one bit that icicles were forming from the sea spray landing on the boat. When Sakura focused on the rhythmic sway of the boat, like the rocking of a cradle, she too forgot about being cold, about how badly their date was going, and about all the problems waiting for them back in Konoha. It was like none of that existed anymore.

For some reason standing in the wind with him like that warmed her. She felt ridiculously happy for being able to help Gaara find something that calmed him. From what she read about his home life situation she felt he could definitely use some time out of the house. She had never seen him so relaxed before. Not once in the ten years she had known him for did he ever look so at ease. Even if he was a malevolent psychopath she thought he deserved some peace.

"You know after I read the book I thought about joining the navy. Wouldn't it be cool to ride one of those enormous battle ships or maybe even a submarine?" Gaara said opening his eyes and smiling down on Sakura.

She looked back at him like he had just suggested something outrageous. "If by cool you mean terrifying then yes, it would be 'cool'." She said shivering from a combination of the freezing winds and the intensity of the look the boy next to her was giving. Sakura did her best to ignore both. "I think though, maybe a little single sailed boat or a small catamaran would be nice. I don't like the idea of having to rely on the competence of other to ensure that I don't drown."

"You don't like the idea of relying on someone period."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Well neither do you! You avoid people like the plague."

Gaara kicked his foot against the metal rail. "You surround yourself with people you despise."

"That's just not true." She said annoyed that he was acting like he knew her. He hadn't even stolen her diary! "I've got a couple true friends. What's so wrong about playing nice with people you don't actually like? I'm not hurting anyone."

"Don't you ever get tired of being so fake?" he asked.

"Don't you ever get tired of feeling sorry for yourself?" she countered.

But before Gaara could respond fat raindrops began to fall on them from the sky above. Sakura groaned. As if she wasn't cold enough! The two didn't even have the time to register the weather change before they were standing under a heavy downpour of freezing rain getting soaked to the skin.

The ice hitting her felt like hot needles burning her skin. She thought she might deserve it for that last thing she said to him. Sakura knew the frozen drops of rain were hurting him even more. She didn't know how to stop them. She didn't know how to escape them.

"Should we go inside?" Gaara asked shaking like a leaf in the wind. His face was completely drained of color but his lips were tinted blue. His wet red hair stuck to his face and the rich red contrasted starkly with his white skin. He looked so strange, like something out of a painting.

"They're not going to let us inside. We'd get water everywhere." She said through chattering teeth. "We're going to have to wait it out."

"We should at least move down below with the cars. We won't be getting as wet." He said motioning toward the deck below them.

It was a good idea, and since Gaara didn't seem to be in the mood to reenact the dock scene from the notebook, Sakura thought she better follow him down the slippery metal stairs and get out of the freezing rain.

They spent the remainder of the boat ride standing rigid and frigid like two popsicles in an icebox next to her car. Once again Gaara made no move to touch her, he didn't even look at her, and the only sound that could be heard was that of their teeth chattering. Sakura's date was not taking advantage of any of the excellent, albeit cheesy, 'body heat sharing' opportunities the situation was offering. It was probably a good thing because she didn't think she could do that shivering heroine role with a straight face, but that extremely insecure part of her that had been growing exponentially larger since the start of their date was wondering why I wasn't even trying, he had the perfect excuse to cop a feel.

Sakura hoped that he wasn't mad at her. She needed to be told what she was doing wrong. Despite her experience she was a dating failure.

She should have been used to it by now. Sasuke had hardly been a romantic boyfriend in fact now that she thought about things, standing awkwardly in the freezing rain with Gaara was ten times less miserable that sitting in a fancy restaurant with Sasuke while she watched him order her little green salads she hated and listened to him talk endlessly about himself. Still, this was the first time she had actually wanted to get close to the boy she was dating and it was disappointing to see him acting so indifferent.

Maybe if she squeezed out a couple of tear…NO WAY! Sakura had way to much dignity for that.

* * *

About a half hour later, when they rain had stopped, the boat finally reached its destination, a little sparsely inhabited island off the coast. With out even having to discuss the plans (assuming they actually would have discussed them in the first place, they hadn't actually been discussing much of lately) they both trudged off the boat in the direction of the island restaurant. Sakura wasn't necessarily that hungry but she couldn't ignore the smoking chimney stemming from the roof and hopefully a roaring fire.

Apparently Gaara couldn't ignore the chimney either. "I need a cigarette." He announced surveying the island, assumedly for a drug store.

Sakura was still feeling guilty for…well for a lot of things actually. So she thought she would let him off this one time. "I'll go get us a table inside the restaurant. You can go do what you need to do."

"I'll be ten minutes." He promised heading off the other direction.

Sakura didn't notice her arm moving until it had already shot out and latched on to the fabric of Gaara's sweatshirt. She felt incredibly foolish but there was no backing out now. "Do you want me to order you something?" she asked more timid than her usual tone.

"Uh, I like grilled cheese." He said staring at his shoes.

She let go of him and clasped her hands together nervously. "Ok. Grilled cheese it is then." She said. "I guess I'll see you in a bit.

"Yeah. I'll be right back."

Sakura watched him take a couple steps toward some unmarked buildings before she turned around and set out for the restaurant. She was blushing like some sort of idiot and the more she thought about it the redder her cheeks became.

And he wasn't even trying.

* * *

"I'm sorry." Sakura said smiling sheepishly. "I'm going to get your clean floor all wet with dirty rainwater and I'll end up trekking mud everywhere too."

The cute boy behind the bar laughed. "Don't think twice about it. It rains here a lot. It's no sweat. In fact…" he said coming out from behind the bar, "We've got towels on standby for these situations." He said handing her a fluffy blue towel,

The pink haired girl squealed in delight. She buried her face in the softy goodness. "Its warm too!" she exclaimed.

"Fresh from the dryer." The boy said nodding. "We wouldn't our beautiful customers freezing to death now would we?"

"Yeah…" Sakura said with a wink. "Then how would they tip you?"

The boy laughed again. "I think I like you!" he said inciting another blush from Sakura. "Pick a seat, any seat in the entire restaurant, pick it, it's yours."

The pink haired girl chose the booth nearest to wear she was standing and the boy set off time get her a menu.

"I'm going to need two of those." She called after him. "My friend should be joining me in a few minutes."

When the boy reappeared he did indeed have two menus in hand. "This wouldn't happen to be a male friend would it?" he said setting the menus on the table.

"Afraid so."

"He your boyfriend?" The boy asked casually.

"He's uh…" Sakura said stopping to think for a moment. Was Gaara her boyfriend? Yeah they had kissed a couple of times, but they hadn't really used the terms, 'boyfriend,' or 'girlfriend,' Not to mention that their date thus far had been completely G rated, he was acting more like a stranger than a boyfriend. She didn't know what she was supposed to say. It would be embarrassing to call him her boyfriend if he didn't want to be. "This is our first date." She explained

"Really? He took you out in the ice rain for a first date?" asked the boy. "If _you_ were _my_ date, I would have taken you someplace classier, say…an art museum." He said sliding into the booth seat across from her. "Do you like art?"

Sakura couldn't believe this guy was hitting on her! Didn't she just tell him she was on a date? It was her idea to go on the ferry ride in the first place, so where the hell did this guy get off insulting her and Gaara's magical first date? She would have tore him a new one for being such a jerk if she didn't think he would spit in their food in retaliation.

"I like art, I don't know much about it though." She told him smiling apologetically. "I'm more of an audio girl."

"Yeah, I get that. I'm in a band…I play the guitar." He said leaning forward across the table. "You should come check us out. I could get you backstage passes." He said waggling his eyebrows at her. "Do you live around here?"

Sakura had to bite her tongue to keep from bursting out with laughter. Were there girls out there who actually fell for this crap? She as sure as hell didn't, Sakura could smell a player from a mile away. That was the nice thing about Gaara, she wasn't sure whether he was some sort of pill popping lunatic, but at least she knew he wasn't a player.

"Actually I live southwest of here, in a town called Konoha."

"Konoha…" he said rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "I've heard about your football team, you guys almost made it to state finals last year."

"Yeah…" Said Sakura, distracted by the sound of the restaurants door opening. She peeked out from the booth and caught the eye of the boy who had just walked inside. She waved to the redhead and motioned him over to the table.

This was his chance to act all possessive and protective of her. She wasn't trying to make him jealous by talking to another guy, that hadn't been her intention at all. But if he wanted to act all manly and show some sort of claim over her she wouldn't be at all upset. Because she didn't want the tool sitting across from her, She wanted Gaara.

His skin was still ghostly pale and his jacket was clearly still saturated with rainwater. From wear she was sitting she could smell the cigarette smoke on him but it didn't bother her. "Hey." She said softly.

"Hey." He said back waiting awkwardly for the bar boy to get up and leave. He didn't look angry that she was with another guy, it seemed like he didn't care at all. He just stood there waiting with a bored expression on his face. Oh god she was boring him again!

"Sorry, man. Let me get out of your way." Bar boy said looking not very sorry at all. "I'll be right back to take your orders.

The strange man scooted out of the booth and Gaara took his place sitting across from her. Sakura debated telling him that the other boy had been flirting with her and had asked her out but once again she had to much pride to sink that low. Not even when she dated Sasuke did she divert to such tactics. But she had already stolen his private journal and read what was inside. How much lower could she sink?

So the couple resumed their favorite activity of sitting silently and avoiding each other's eyes. Sakura's clothes were drying and her body was beginning to thaw but she was still cold, uncomfortable, and wishing she was at home snuggled up in her bed. She could only assume Gaara was just as cold and uncomfortable if not more. She should never have forced him to come on this stupid trip in the first place.

"So what will it be?" the bar boy said when he returned with his little notepad and pencil.

Sakura had forgotten all about the menu in front of her so ordered the first thing that came to her mind. "Grilled cheese sandwiches." She said. "We like grilled cheese."

"And to drink?" he asked scribbling on the little pad. "We've got fresh coffee."

"That sounds good." Sakura said turning her head to look at her date. "What do you want Gaara?"

"Just water." He answered staring down at the table.

Sometimes he was so distant Sakura had to question whether or not they were even in the same room. She wondered if it was because he was so used to being alone. She didn't want to bother him but at the same time she thought she might be in danger of him forgetting she was even there.

The bar boy came back with their food and more lame attempts to flirt with her (seriously? Gaara was sitting right there!) But she did her best to ignore him. Gaara gave little reaction to either event.

The sandwiches were pretty good and the coffee was lifesaving, strong and piping hot was just how she liked her drinks. Sakura was satisfied to see Gaara finish all the food on his plate. She worried about how skinny he was and also about what he had written about being sick all the time. He still made no attempts at starting conversation with her.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." She said finally after they had finished eating and paid.

"Whatever." Gaara said with a shrug.

* * *

It was a good thing she hadn't worn any make up or else it would have been smeared all over her face. Her hair was a stiff and tangled mess, but there wasn't much she could do about it. Restaurant bathrooms didn't usually provide brushes and hair product.

She wasn't ready to go back out there and return to the date from hell. Sakura realized that it had probably been a mistake to try to do normal couple activities. He had been so reluctant to have anything to do with her in the first place. Maybe she should have just taken him to the library again. They never had any problem finding things to talk about then. They had _never_ had this much trouble conversing before. Because unlike Sasuke he wasn't telling her what she was doing wrong, so she had no idea how to fix things.

A loud crash and the sound of dishes breaking made her snap out of her thoughts and rush out of the bathroom to see what all the commotion was about. It sounded like someone had pushed an entire table over, but how did that explain all the shouting?

She had left the bathroom just in time to see Gaara punch the bar boy in the face. It happened so fast, one minute they were standing and the next Gaara had grabbed the other boy by the shirt and was smashing his fists in his face. A crowd of spectators had circled around the fighting boys and were cheering on the bar boy's lame attempt to fight back. He didn't stand a chance against the red head's furious attacks.

"Gaara stop!" Sakura shouted, running over to where Gaara was throwing more punches at the poor bar boy. The crowd parted for her as she stepped into the make shift ring. She pleaded with him to stop fighting but the boys continued pummeling each other into the floor. He was completely ignoring her cries.

Sakura was panicking. She wasn't strong enough to force the redhead off his opponent, and if someone didn't stop them soon she had a feeling Gaara was going to kill the other guy.

Thankfully, two men who were also eating in the restaurant joined in the fight only to pull the two boys off of each other. Sakura almost passed out she was so relieved.

Gaara had a bloody nose but other than that he looked relatively unharmed, disgruntled as ever, but unharmed. The bar boy was not so lucky. He was conscious enough to yell obscenities at Gaara but he was looking much worse for the wear. Judging by the crumpled mess on the floor that used to be the bar boy, it was clear who won the fight. It just wasn't clear as to what the fight had been about. Sakura pulled her date away from the two men who had been holding him back and began hitting him on the arm.

"I leave for five minutes and you manage to do all this? Seriously Gaara?" she cried slapping his arm.

He didn't answer. He just shrugged her off and continued to glare viciously at the other boy. Sakura couldn't remember the last time she saw him so angry. The bar boy really was lucky to escape with his life. Sakura _knew_ that Gaara _knew_ that he had no control but didn't seem to care.

The manager came out from the kitchen. "What the hell is going on here?" he demanded. He was easily six foot four and two hundred pounds heavy. The man looked like a former line backer or something. He seemed downright furious over the disturbance and was ready to dole out the punishment for disturbing the peace at his restaurant. He looked over at the injured bar boy and then at Gaara.

"You!" you said pointed to the redhead. "Get out!" he growled. "And you!" he said pointing at the bar boy. "You're fired!"

Gaara stalked out of the building giving no consideration to Sakura whatsoever. He left her standing there in the middle of the restaurant with all eyes on her. She was too mortified to move a muscle. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of cash. "Uh…This is for the stuff he broke." She said lamely leaving the money on the counter. She prayed to god they weren't going to call the police.

The manager nodded solemnly and pointed to the door.

"Right." Said Sakura. "I'll just be leaving then."

* * *

She was actually shocked to see Gaara waiting outside the door for her.

"What are the chances of you actually telling me what that was all about?" Sakura asked him. She handed him some napkin she had stolen on her way out. "These are for your nose."

"He pissed me off." He said accepting her offering. He wiped his nose and started off in the direction of the dock where the ferry was supposed to be picking them up any minute now.

Sakura ran to keep up with him. "What do you mean, _He pissed you off_ ? I piss you off all the time and you've never hit me."

"I would _never_ hit a girl, not even you."

The pink haired girl didn't know whether or not she should feel insulted. Was he insinuating there had been occasions he wanted to hit her? Why was he always so difficult? "Well don't expect _me_ to hold back." She said acidly.

Gaara stopped in his tracks. "Can we just drop it? I get into fights all the time. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter!" Sakura contested. She reached for his wrist and turned him around to face her. "You're not going to win every fight. It's statistically impossible! This is reckless; you're going to get hurt. What would I have done if that guy back there had won the fight? Its bad enough I have to worry about what your father would do to you if he found out about this…"

"I didn't _ask_ you to worry about me." He spat at her.

"Tough. It's not something I can control. So whether you like it or not I'm going to worry about you. So have some mercy on me and _try_ to restrain yourself."

Gaara wiggled his wrist out of her grasp and continued walking onward. "I'm not making _any_ promises."

She watched him stomp off in the direction of the boat. Why was trying to get close to him like trying to get close to some mythical creature? Why the hell couldn't she like a normal boy for once?

* * *

**Yes. That is the conclusion of the date chapter. Awful right? I just didn't see Gaara knowing what to do on a date since socially he's a bit in the dark. The next chapter won't be so disappointing so watch out. **

**Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter, which was less people than usual let me just say. I didn't like the last chapter it was really weird to write so I guess I can understand why few people reviewed. That being said its still nice to hear people tell me they don't like certain things. I mean don't flame or bite my head off, just say, 'hey, bad grammar this time' or 'this is out of character' Its actually really helpful. Or don't review I guess, I'm not writing this for reviews. **

**Anyways, I LOVE ALL MY READERS NO MATTER WHAT :D  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ah here it is, another chapter. I'm sorry for the minor wait. I'm sick so I've been at the doctors or busy sleeping, leaving me little time or energy to write. Never fear though, the chapter is here right? ENJOY?!!?**

**I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

"After that he didn't say _anything_. He didn't explain himself, he didn't comment on the weather, he didn't say goodbye. He said _nothing._" Sakura said throwing her head into her hands in a gesture of despair.

"Maybe he had a sore throat?" Naruto suggested lamely. "Spontaneous temporary aphasia?"

"I don't even know!" she cried. "I am so at a loss here, we were essentially alone for hours and he didn't try anything. I bet he wasn't even thinking of trying anything. I don't think there is something wrong with him; I think it might be something with me. I think I repulse him!"

Naruto sighed. "Your not repulsive Sakura."

"I know that. I figured that out when the creepy yellow rain-boots man on the boat wouldn't stop smiling at me. I think its just Gaara specifically that I repulse."

Sakura thought about telling Naruto about what she read in Gaara's notebook, about her being 'hideous' and 'ugly', but that would require to her confessing to taking the book in the first place. She was too ashamed to admit it out loud.

Downstairs 'round two' with Minato and Kushina against Sakura's mom and Johnny the lap dog. Kushina was from some exotic foreign country so Naruto and Sakura could tell the argument was getting pretty intense whenever they heard her yelling expletives in her native tongue. Sakura was wishing with all of her heart that her mother would give up and go home. Naruto had assured her that his mother would get her way in the end, but she wasn't so sure.

It was still nice of Naruto to try and make her feel better. He did a great job listening to her retelling of her disaster of a date earlier that day.

"Stop me if you disagree, but I don't think he's the type of person who would waste his time with someone who repulses him." Naruto said. "And you said you guys have hooked up a couple of times right? I definitely don't get the impression he's the kind of guy who swap spit with a chick he doesn't think is hot."

"If he's bored enough he will." Sakura said excitedly. "Did I mention to you that I bore him? I _bore _him!"

"Sakura calm down. This is _Gaara_ _Sabaku_ we're talking about. You can't ask me to interpret everything he does or doesn't do. I would if I could, but I _can't_."

The girl hugged her knees to her chest. "I mean I expected some complications but I didn't think it would be this bad. Maybe this is a bad investment. I can't think of a single reason why he is worth the headaches he gives me. I mean I know this has no future." She said.

"How old are you?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Sixteen, why?"

Naruto grabbed her by the shoulder and shook her a couple of times. "Stop thinking of guys as 'investments'. It's really not good for our egos and it makes _you_ sound like a bitch."

"This is just another tragic case of boys being intimidated by girls with functioning brain cells."

The blond boy released her shoulders and narrowed his eyes in a sign of his confusion and disbelief. "What does that have to do with _anything_?" he asked.

"Its simply really," she said. "Its Ok for boys to choose love interests in regards to accessibility. But girls with standards are conniving bitches."

"Accessibility?" Naruto repeated.

"Girls who are _easy_."

"Ok, put away the _Feminine Mystique_." He said.

"But-" she tried.

"Hey." He said putting his hands out in a preemptory gesture. "I'm not trying to force you into the kitchen or anything… I'm just saying that, wrong or right, you can't shop for a boy using the same methods you use to shop for a car. And if you do, don't make it so obvious."

Since when did Naruto turn into _Dr. Love?_ It was her own fault for asking him for advice. What he was saying made sense in a sort of roundabout way, but it was useless information when it came to her situation with Gaara. Before that moment her approach with him had been anything _but_ intellectual. She was being led one hundred percent by her emotions, and she had no idea what she was doing.

"You don't understand." Sakura said. "I didn't _shop_ for Gaara. They don't offer _Gaara's _at the places I do my usual shopping. It's always been like _magnetic_ or something."

"But there were no, uh, _magnets_ on your date?"

Sakura looked thoughtful. "_I_ thought there were magnets. Like I said, I was disappointed when he acted all distant."

Now that she thought about it though, she herself was acting a little distant too. She was really nervous thinking about his opinions of her. When they were together in the library she had never been that self-conscious. It was a lot easier to talk to him when she wasn't so nervous. And it was her who usually started the conversations between them. She knew usually Gaara was a man of few words.

Talking wasn't all she had initiated either. She was the first to kiss him that one time, and the other time he kissed her only after she spent a good twenty minutes convincing him that he wanted her.

Which made her think that he might not really want her. It wasn't like Sakura to be so unsure.

"I've got another question." She said changing the subject. "What do you think of Temari Sabaku?"

"Why are you trying to date her too?" Naruto said jokingly. Sakura shot him a nasty look.

"No, you idiot I'm not trying to date her too." The pink haired girl sighed. "See, when I was over at the Sabaku house the other night, she said some things that made me nervous."

"Like…"

"You know, things like 'Gaara's a sociopath who is just playing games with me'." Sakura said airily. "Nothing major."

Naruto rubbed his temples. "I would say it's a definite possibility…but… I haven't heard the most flattering things about Temari Sabaku either." He said. "Shikamaru Nara had some sort of think going with her (Which is a little weird to begin with on account of the whole age difference) that ended badly when she went apeshit on her."

"So what you mean is," Sakura said slowly. "She's not the most stable element on the table either."

"No…" Naruto said grinning wickedly. "But isn't that how you like em'?"

* * *

Conversation died down between the two. They watched a little TV and played a little Xbox before Kushina shouted for Naruto to come down because it was time for their family to go home. Needless to say Mrs. Haruno and Johnny did not join Sakura in seeing the Uzumaki family to the door.

Apparently the harder the Uzumaki family fought for Sakura the more reluctant and unreasonable her mother became. When Sakura tried to bring up the custody issue Mrs. Haruno and her boyfriend promptly got up and announced, or rather Mrs. Haruno announced that they were leaving to go for a walk. Tsunade then excused herself to take a shower leaving Sakura all alone in the kitchen.

Adults sucked.

Sakura took a deep cleansing breath and tried not to let the drama get the best of her. Its not like her mother could _force_ her to live with her. If worst came to worst Sakura could refuse or run away. She was a minor but she wasn't a child.

Sakura had taken a shower earlier when she returned home from the 'worst date ever' so it took her no time at all to prepare herself for bed. Once her face was washed, her teeth were brushed and she had changed into her softest pair of flannel pajama pants and an old worn tea shirt, Sakura crawled into bed with her science textbook.

She had just about finished up the reading she was to be tested on the following week, when she heard a strange tapping noise. At first she thought she had imagined it. Johnny and her mom weren't home yet and she could hear the shower running, so Tsunade wasn't out yet either… there was no one in the house to be tapping besides her. That's when she realized that the tapping wasn't coming from inside the house, but from _outside_ the house. More specifically, someone outside was throwing pebbles at her window.

Her heart leapt in her chest. Really, it could have been anyone down there, but she couldn't stop herself from being a little hopeful. She rushed over to the wide windows, pressed her face to the glass and peered down at whoever it was who wanted to see her so badly they couldn't wait until morning.

His dark clothing bled into the night's darkness but his pale face was visible like the glowing crescent moon. Gaara stared up the window arm cocked with pebble in hand, completely prepared to continue throwing stones until he got her attention. Really, that boy was something else. What if he had been throwing rocks at the wrong window?

Whatever he wanted with her, Sakura thought it must have been important. They weren't exactly neighbors and both the roads and grass were as slippery as a skating rink. She hoped that if he went to all the trouble of getting to her, he actually had something to say to her. She didn't know how many more of the awkward encounters she could handle.

Sakura wanted to talk to him ASAP. She thought hard. She figured if she was careful she would be able to get him in the house with out getting caught. It was completely doable but she was going to have to act fast. Getting caught was not an option for them.

With one finger she gave Gaara the 'one moment' signal and slipped on a pair of shoes that were closest to the door. She didn't bother with the laces and she didn't think to grab a jacket. With the agility jaguar and the grace of an elephant Sakura raced out of her room and tripped down the back staircase, just barely catching herself before she fell to her doom. As soon as she was steady was down another hallway and out the side door leading to the lawn where her hoped he would still be waiting.

Sakura opened the door a crack and took advantage of the rare opportunity to observe the redhead when he thought he was alone. Every couple of seconds he would forcibly exhale and amuse himself with the wonder of being able to see one's own breath. He had his arms crossed and his hands were rubbing his forearms with vigor. He was trying to keep warm.

She decided she didn't want him to have to stand in the cold any longer for her sake, so she coughed, clearing her throat to get his attention.

His head snapped over to where she was standing in the doorway. He squinted to get a better look at her and frowned. She should have been used to those frowns by now. Frown or nothing, he sauntered over to meet her at the door.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed at him. He was lucky her mother and Johnny weren't home. How would she explain him then?

Gaara shrugged his bony shoulders. "I was bored."

Sakura was positively elated. He came to see her voluntarily. That was a step in the right direction. A _big_ step.

"Well let's get inside then." She said grabbing his wrist. "My mom could be home any minute."

She didn't give him time to consider or answer before she was pulling him up the back staircase looking out at the corner of each hallway like some sort of spy or secret agent. She could still hear the shower running but she wasn't going to take any chances. She didn't want to even think about what would happen if they were caught together.

When they were finally back in her room she waved him inside and shut the door gently behind them. Gaara's usual withdrawn expression was replaced by a slightly warier one. Sakura was beginning to get the impression he had no idea what he was doing at her house or how he ended up there. She didn't know how to feel about that.

"So long time no see…" Sakura said lamely. She leaned her back against the door she had just shut and watched him, waiting for him to actually do something.

Gaara didn't answer. He pulled out the chair from Sakura's desk and sat down quietly. He looked at her with his light eyes beckoning her closer; only for once she resisted getting closer to him. If he really didn't know why he was at her house, in her room, she wasn't going to help him figure it out. They were at another impasse, waiting for the other to make a move.

"It was really bad wasn't it?" he said finally.

"What was really bad?" asked a confused Sakura.

"Today… our date."

She wasn't sure what to say. She didn't have the heart to tell him how miserable it was, but he would know if she was lying. She straightened herself against the wall and thought for a half moment. "Well…I just…" Sakura stopped. "You didn't get arrested right? It wasn't a good date but it definitely could have been worse."

Gaara nodded. "The boat was nice before it started to rain."

"Yeah its not like we can control the weather or anything. Its not our fault it rained."

"Or that it was so cold." He said agreeing with her.

There was a rare comfortable silence between them until finally Sakura spoke again. "Hey if I ask you something do you think you can answer honestly?"

"I can try."

"Ok then." She said leaving the wall to sit cross-legged on her bed. She made a big deal of fixing her legs under her before finally looking up to face toward him. Sakura took a deep breath and said, "Were you nervous today…or are you just not interested in me?"

Gaara made a face. "I'm not sure what you mean by nervous." He said. The redhead got up out of the chair and came and stood against one of the tall pillars of her canopy bed. "It was _difficult_. I hate seeing you at school and spending time with you any other place is agonizing bordering on intolerable."

"Oh." Sakura said. His words felt like a slap in the face, but the pain was soon replaced by an all-encompassing sense of numbness. What the hell were they doing? If she was so goddamn horrible than what the hell were they doing? "I see." She said trying to sound like what he was saying made sense to her and she wasn't about to cry.

Apparently some indicator of her distress bled through in her voice. Gaara rolled his eyes and came and sat down next to her on the bed. He was sitting too close for Sakura's comfort. She tried shifting herself so their faces would no longer be aligned, but he caught her shoulders stopping her from moving away.

"You really annoy me." He whispered inching closer to her.

The numbness dissipated when he leaned over to gently touch her face. With two fingers he traced the outline of her nose, then her cheeks, then finally her lips. Sakura's heart was beating a mile a minute and even though his hands were cold she felt flushed all over. She didn't know what he was saying, and she certainly didn't know what he was doing.

He ran a lone finger back and forth over the seam of her lips. "I never know what to say to you, every time I open my mouth I'm afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing." He moved his hand back up her face and ghosted his fingers over her brow. "I'm worried I look at you too much. I want to look at you all the time, but I feel strange when you notice I'm looking, like suddenly I'm hyperaware of the features of my own face. I don't know what you see when you look back at me."

"Gaara…" Sakura warned breathily. If he didn't stop soon, her heart was going to beat right out of her chest. The fact that the two of them couldn't get near a bed without the spike in sexual tension overwhelming them both helped convince the pink haired girl that maybe he was a little attracted to her.

He responded by leaning even further in and grinding his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes and felt his breath against her lips. "I'm afraid if I get to close to you, that you'll leave me… I can't have you. Maybe you've gotten over how bad I am for you, but that only makes this feel worse." He said.

Sakura no longer felt his breath on her face so she opened her eyes. Gaara had indeed drawn back a foot or so, but he was still leaning over her, with an arm on either side of her chest. He seemed to be deep in thought.

"Gaara," she said again, only this time in a stronger voice. "Gaara, look at me." She commanded.

He turned and two pairs of green eyes locked. He stared at her with such longing that her breath caught in her throat. Nobody, _nobody, _had _ever_ looked at her like that before.

"I can't have you." He said shaking his head. "But I definitely can't _not_ have you."

And with that being said he leaned down and planted the sweetest and softest kiss on her lips. Sakura got the feeling he was doing it for the soul reason of tasting her. His cold lips on her hot ones left her thirsty for more.

"Yeah," he said looking a little miserable. "I definitely can't not have you."

"Hey." She said wrapping her arms around his neck pulling him in closer to her. He was still like frozen like and icicle from being outside. This time she wasn't going to miss her chance to give him a little body heat. "Why is it a bad thing? You don't need to say all the right things, I don't mind if you look at me, and I like when you touch me. Stop inventing reasons for why this can't happen. You're here aren't you?"

"We've had this talk before." He said burying his face in her hair, tickling her ear with his hot breath and cold nose. "We went on a date and it was a failure." He kissed the soft patch of skin under her ear. "There's nothing left."

"Wanna bet?" Sakura said turning her head to offer him her neck.

He grabbed her firmly by the waist and pulled her into his lap before he started to nip his way down her neck with his teeth and tongue. Sakura closed her eyes so she could concentrate on the spine tingling things his lips were doing to her. "We don't have to go on dates. We can just be together for a while."

"Together sounds good." Gaara said almost smiling.

His kisses started innocently enough, but gradually things began to heat up and soon they were on fire. Sakura felt Gaara's tongue pressing for entrance between her lips and the second she let him in she descended into a haze of lust making her incapable of rational thought. There was a scramble of tongues and limbs where the two teenagers were frantically trying to find the position that allowed them the best and most comfortable access to their partner.

Sakura grabbed a fistful of red hair and broke the kiss. "Touch me." She begged, frustrated that his hands were still outside her clothing.

His lips returned to the spot on her neck that made her breath hitch and her stomach drop. Gaara's hands slipped underneath her cotton tee and closed over her breasts. She felt the pads of his calloused fingers brush over her nipples and she shivered. Sakura was devastated by the desire to feel skin on skin.

"Take this off." He said breathed in her ear while tugging at her shirt.

Sakura felt a little bit of panic. She reached for the hem of her shirt but dropped her hands suddenly. "They're not very big." She said apologetically. Breast size had always been a bit of an issue when she was together with Sasuke.

Gaara shrugged before he started to wiggle out of his own sweatshirt, which, along with his undershirt, was soon tossed aside. "I'm sure they're bigger than mine.

"Well…yeah." Sakura giggled staring at his lean white chest. He was more muscular than she had pictured he'd be, but he was beautiful like porcelain, only slightly marred by dark purple bruise next to his navel. With out any further thought she blushed and removed her own shirt suddenly feeling embarrassed by her childishness. She looked up at his face and saw his eyes had hardened and his face had contorted to fix his features into a raw and predatory stare. Her smile faded and her pulse took off like a jackrabbit.

The atmosphere felt serious now. It was silent save for the sound of Sakura's shallow breaths. She scooted backwards and slowly leaned back into her soft downy pillows. She extended her hand to him.

He accepted her hand and she slowly pulled him down on top of her, his warm heavy chest hitting her taut and sensitive nipples. She wrapped her arms around him and grazed his back lightly with her fingernails. In return he bent and began pressing feather light kisses on her chest before he took her nipple in his mouth and began to tease it with his tongue. Sakura moaned quietly which seemed to encourage his ministrations.

Just when she thought he was going to bring her to the brink of insanity his lips left her breasts with a farewell kiss on each before he continued nipping his way down her torso leaving a fresh trail of tingling where ever his lips met her silky skin. She gasped when he dipped his tongue in her belly button and began to wonder if he had more experience with women than he had originally let on. Sakura ran her hands through his hair and began to massage his scalp every so often caressing the shell of his ear.

She felt his erection pressing against her leg and realized it wasn't fair to make him do all of the work. Sakura put both hands on his shoulder and pushed so this time he would be lying on his back. He looked annoyed and dejected that she had forced him off of her but she knew he wouldn't stay that way for long.

She smiled and left him with a lingering kiss on his lips before she got to work unbuttoning his pants. It took longer than she expected because her hands were curiously trembling but she eventually got the job done. She felt his sharp eyes watching her every move as she slowly slipped the black denim over his bony narrow hips. "Black boxers? Why am I not surprised?" she said in a voice quite unlike her own.

Sakura slid the boxers down too exposing him completely. She glanced up at his face, curious to see if he minded that she had rendered him naked and vulnerable. He sure didn't look as confident as he did when he had her under him but he didn't seem agitated over his loss of control.

But he mistook her hesitation for reluctance. "You don't have to…" he offered quietly. She could tell he meant it too.

Her heart clenched and she shook her head. "No." Said Sakura. "But I want to."

As sort of a general rule, Sakura Haruno did not put out on the first date. She had actually only ever dated one guy who also happened to be the only guy she had ever slept with, as a result she had never really had any reason to challenge the rule. Everything about Gaara made her want to break that rule.

But she didn't. She wasn't thinking too clearly, but that didn't mean she wasn't thinking. They weren't going to rush things. So far, the only times they seemed to be getting along well were the times when getting physical. She didn't want there relationship to be about sex. She didn't want to cheapen herself or him by having a their awkward first experience together be at a time when her grandmother was two doors down getting ready for bed.

Besides if that's what they did after a bad date what would there be left to do after a good date?

But just because she wasn't ready to have sex with him didn't mean there wasn't other things she could do for him.

She pushed her hair to hand over one shoulder, leaned forward, and took him into her mouth. She heard him stifle a cry but she blocked it out to focus on the task at hand (Or mouth). She wanted to give him all the pleasure in the world.

Sakura didn't actually know of anyone who enjoyed giving oral sex. The first time Sasuke had asked her to do it she had flat out refused. She found the very idea of the act disgusting and humiliating. She soon came to realize though, that there was a certain amount gratification in being able to make someone you care about feel that good.

When they were done Sakura pulled his boxers back up, tugged off his pants, his boots, and his socks and threw them to the floor. "You're staying here tonight." She announced.

"I hope we weren't too loud." He said still trying to catch his breath.

Sakura bit her lip. "I hope so too." She had been so caught up in things she hadn't realized there were other people in the house. Her mother and Johnny might have already gotten home.

"Are you sure it's alright if I stay?" Gaara asked sitting up a little shakily.

"I'll just have to sneak you out in the morning. It shouldn't be a problem."

"My room is all flooded. The basement floods when it's rained."

Sakura pulled down the blue comforter and borrowed inside, the cool sheets felt soothing against her feverish skin. It satisfied her to see that he was just as flushed as she was. She couldn't help but be a little proud by the fact that using only her mouth and her hands, she was able to turn the infamous Gaara into mush.

She suspected that he had come to her in the first place because his room was flooded. She hadn't forgotten what she had read, and she was very grateful she had his notebook hidden in her closet. She asked him to stay not only because she didn't want him going back to the wet basement but also because she really wasn't ready to let him leave.

How could she have known Gaara for years and not realized she wanted to do these things with him? Why had she been wasting her time and effort with Sasuke when there was someone who made her feel like Gaara did? The more time she spent with him, the stronger the magnet got.

The last time they had slept together (in the literal sense of course) they hadn't cuddled, they hadn't spooned, they hadn't really touched at all. Sakura knew her bed was bigger than his so they wouldn't have to do any of they stuff if he didn't want to. She kind of wanted to though. She liked how they could be shy and timid with each other's bodies while at the same time giving and taking from each other on a primal level. Touching him felt like such a relief, she couldn't explain how good it really felt.

Gaara crawled over to the other side of the bed and got underneath the covers. She could tell he was a little unsure about the whole idea of spending the night in her bed. Nevertheless, he scooted closer to where Sakura was lying on her side waiting for him. He was close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off his body, yet they weren't touching.

Sakura sighed, turned around, and reached for the light.

"Goodnight Gaara." She whispered before switching the lamp off.

* * *

**Alright here's the deal. I've had bad luck with guys and I've made too many mistakes. As a result, I've gotten really traditional and conservative about sex. I don't like talking about it, hearing about it, having it, writing it, or reading about it. So while this is going to be rated M, don't get your hopes up for super dirty graphic sex. I mean if you really want it say so and I can try dirtying it up but know that in doing so I will be making my weakest scenes even worse. **

**Now that I'm done being a total downer... THANKS THANKS THANKS for all those WONDERFUL reviews. You guys knocked me off my seat with those. My readers never let me down. I love you guys. :D :D :D :D :D  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**OK its been a while. I was away. Its a legit excuse. As a result this chapter was unplanned, not proofread (thats not new), and a little weird. WHATEVER. I hope you readers likeeeeeeee.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NAruto.  
**

REAd it baby.

* * *

When Sakura awoke it was still night and she was alone in bed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." Gaara said. If Sakura squinted she could just make out the image of Gaara fishing around for his clothes in the dark.

"You're leaving?" she asked sleepily.

"Should I? I was going to wait until the sun was up." He said unsure.

"No, no that's fine. Both my mom and my grandmother sleep in on Sundays so it no problem." As long as she got him out of the house before nine a.m. they would be in the clear. She reached over and turned on the light.

She was a little nervous about him being in her room while she was unconscious. What if he was driven by some strange bout of curiosity and decided to take a peek in her closet? The notebook would be in plain sight if he just cracked the door an inch. That stupid, stupid notebook was really weighing on her conscious.

"Alright." He said, but he was still putting his socks on.

Sakura was confused. "If you're not leaving, then what _are_ you doing?"

"Its cold." Gaara said pulling his sweatshirt back on.

"You're cold?" Sakura said incredulously. "Gaara if you're cold _do_ wake up me. I'll turn the heater on." She said nodding toward the heater in the corner of her room. "I don't understand how you're cold, there are like six blankets-" she looked down and then back up at the redhead. "Gaara! I stole all the covers! How could you let me steal all the covers?"

Gaara shrugged.

His lack of concern irked her. She didn't know what was worse, his volatile nature, or his pitiful nature. One thing was for sure; there was nothing sexy about pity.

"You are un-freaking believable you know that?" She said throwing the comforter off and stomping out of bed in a huff. Sakura covered her naked chest with an arm and marched over the heater turning it up on high. "Why are you allowing yourself to suffer when you can easily change things?"

"You're over simplifying. Again." He said.

"Well it bothers me. It bothers me that if you weren't here you'd be sleeping on a soggy mattress in your flooded basement." Surely he could understand that? It wasn't fair that he lived in such a beautiful house but was locked up in the basement like something unsightly that needed to be abused and hidden. The mayor was supposed to be someone everyone looked up to; he was supposed to set the example for their community. He was the disgusting one; only a disgusting man would hurt his child.

"There are worse things in this world than not sleeping on a posturepedic and twelve hundred thread count sheets." He said averting his eyes from her topless form as she scurried back to bed. He made no move to join her.

"I'm not trying to sound spoiled." She said settling back into bed. There was a happy medium between Egyptian cotton and moldy sheets. She wasn't trying to insult him. "I just wanted to make sure you know you deserve better."

"You don't even know what the you're talking about." Gaara said quietly. His back went rigid and he balled his fists. He didn't look like he was going to hit her or anything like that, but his stress levels were heightened and it was a known fact he had little control over himself.

Sakura knew at this point she was beginning to tread on thin ice. Gaara hated to talk about his home life. He didn't understand her when she tried to reassure his self worth. Compliments made him uncomfortable. He was hot and cold when it came to physical intimacy but consistently unsure. It was like playing the lottery.

"Fine, I don't know what I'm talking about." She said pulling the blanket up to his chin. "Don't get upset, I wasn't _trying_ to upset you. I _like_ you."

Gaara shifted his weight between his legs like he was allergic to kind words. He was becoming predictable. Why couldn't he just accept her and reciprocate?

"Hey," called Sakura a little annoyed, "stop acting so freaked out. I like you, I'm not confessing my undying love, I'm not trying to trick you, or marry you, I just like you."

Gaara glanced at the window. Sakura hoped he wasn't considering jumping. "Don't be like that." She pleaded with him.

He looked back at her and then down at his feet. "I don't know what I'm doing. I will _never_ know what I'm doing." He said distancing himself from the bed. "When you were crying I just did what I've seen other people do. I didn't know that it would make you kiss me. I don't know why I kissed you either. I just wanted to make you feel better."

He was insecure, always putting himself down when it came to their relationship, or lack thereof. Anytime she left him to his own thoughts for too long he got all consumed by self doubt and she wound up backpedaling. Sakura wanted to put a definitive stop to all of that. There was nothing productive about backpedaling.

"You did! I felt much, much better. When its important you've always gotten it right. I don't care that are date was so awful. Sometimes things just don't work out. But when things go right with us I'd like to think they go _really _right." She said smiling mischievously. "I just want you to know that I care about you, and I'm not going to be able to forget about what goes on in your house. I know you don't want to talk about it, and that's fine, I'm not your therapist, but don't get all thrown off when the sight of your bruises upsets me."

"Then I won't show them to you."

"I can handle being upset, just let me be girly and upset. Don't push me away."

Sakura was secretly pleased to see Gaara look a little distressed by the idea of things ending between them. He wasn't the only one who was a little insecure. The more that she thought about it the more she thought that maybe given their situation it would be impossible for their to be any security in their relationship.

"That being said, there is nothing wrong with either of us. You're not a freak, and I'm not a princess. Now I know with you this is completely wishful thinking, but lets _try_ to get to sleep. _Please_ come to bed." she said feeling like an old wife.

Gaara looked uncertainly at the spot next to Sakura but eventually made his way back to her side. She smiled and turned the light out once more. It was comforting to lie beside him in the dark.

Sakura felt a little silly over the fact that she was shirtless and he was fully clothed. She kept one sheet clutched to her chest and spread the rest of the blankets equally over top of them both.

"I'm kind of the man here." She said smiling to herself.

"What?" Gaara asked confusedly.

"I'm the man." Sakura repeated. "You're all bundled up and I've just got my pants on, just my pants and my super manly chest. Plus I'm the one who asked you out, therefore I am the man in our relationship."

"What happened to going to sleep?" he groaned.

"I'm not tired anymore." She said simply. In all honesty she felt a little giddy. "You're being my wife now. I want to fool around and you're getting cranky and trying to avoid it." She said giggled taunting him. "Do you know how to sew? I should write down a list of my favorite dishes for you so you'll know what to cook when you make me lunches for school. If you do a good job, I'll by you a pretty dress or a nice piece of jewelry. Or do you like flower? How about some nice-"

In a flash he was on top of her, straddling her, holding her wrist up beside her head, stealing her breath away with one sultry kiss effectively turning her brain to mush. When he was done abusing her poor lips she lied panting beneath him trying to regain some sort of grip over herself. It was too dark to see him but she could feel him just inches above her face, she could taste his hot breath with his every exhale.

"You can't just do that." She whispered furiously. "You've got to give me some warning before you go an do something like that."

"I thought you said you wanted to fool around…"

"What if I had yelled or something?" Sakura continued completely ignoring him. "What if we woke someone up?"

Gaara rolled off of her. "You're right we have to be more careful." He said moving toward the other end of the bed. Sakura began to miss his warmth.

"I wish we didn't. Sneaking around is kind of exciting but I can already tell it's going to be annoying."

"It was a good idea to go to another town. We can't be together in public in Konoha it's too dangerous."

Danger was supposed to be sexy. The idea that they had to hide and keep secrets wasn't hot at all. When she thought about the trouble he could get in, what he was risking she wasn't turned on, in fact when she thought about it she felt a little sick. It was nerve wracking and guilt wracking. She was asking him to risk so much.

And she wanted to be able to do things together with him in Konoha. One of the perks of having a boyfriend was having someone to see scary movies with, grab dinner with, or go to parties with. Sakura wanted to do those things with Gaara, but it would be impossible unless the were to drive an hour ways out of town.

She didn't want there to be that lingering feeling whispering that what she was doing with him was somehow bad, or wrong. When they were together it didn't feel that way at all. Last night she had gone farther than she had intended but she just could not get over how good it felt to be with him. With Sasuke, kissing, touching, anything sexual really, felt like a chore. She did things with him out of obligation, or because he forced her to.

Sakura did things with Gaara because she wanted to, because she wanted to make him feel good. He made _her_ feel so many different things. He made her angry and bewildered and sad and relieved and tired and dizzy and tickled and content. When they were together she forgot all about her family problems. A month ago she despised him (did she really?) but now he was her favorite person in the world (how did that happen?). Sakura shivered.

It had been pretty cold in the room, which was probably because it was so cold outside. Morning was going to be a disaster, all the rain that had fallen the day before would surely be frozen over. The roads would be like skating rinks. It was the ultimate test of intelligence; only idiots would try driving in those conditions.

She knew that next to her Gaara would probably be up until morning. He wasn't kidding when he said he didn't sleep. Sakura however, felt her eyelids growing heavier and heavier each passing moment.

* * *

The second time she awoke the sun had risen but she was alone. Gaara was nowhere to be found.

Gaara was smart, he was smart and he knew what kind of trouble they would find themselves in if they got caught. Given these to facts Sakura figured that he left while it was still dark and decided this time not to wake her.

Sakura groaned into her pillow. She felt as if she hadn't slept one wink last night. It was ten thirty already, which meant that she slept far later than she had intended to. Sundays were the days she liked best for house cleaning, homework and laundry. They were not to be wasted.

She stumbled out of bed and staggered down the hallway. Her eyes were blurry and she was trying to feel her way to the bathroom. The whole time she was hoping and praying that Gaara made his way home safely. Until she bumped into something, or more appropriately someone, who wasn't a door or wall.

Sakura opened her eyes. "Oh, good morning Johnny." She said with a yawn.

Johnny opened his mouth and then quickly closed it once more. He looked like he was choking on his tongue or something. He pointed to his chest.

"Are you alright?" she asked a little alarmed by his behavior.

Again he didn't answer, he just continued pointing at his chest.

Sakura gasped. "Johnny are you choking?"

He shook his head.

The teenager grabbed his shoulders and shook them. "Johnny what's wrong with you?" she demanded.

His cheeks began to turn red and he tried to wriggle out of her grasp.

Sakura's mother stepped out of the hallway and began screeching. "Get your hands off of him!" She shouted charging at Sakura.

Sakura suddenly remembered she didn't have a shirt on. She was a shirtless teenage girl holding onto a grown man. This was bad. "Shit." She hissed under her breath. She dropped her hands and stepped away from her mother's boyfriend. This probably didn't look very good for her.

"This isn't what it looks like." She said not realizing just how damning that statement was.

Mrs. Haruno slapped her daughter smartly across the face. "I knew you were a bad egg the moment I gave birth to you. How dare you try to seduce my boyfriend!"

Sakura felt humiliated. She covered her breasts with both arms and tried to ignore her stinging cheek. "I wasn't trying to seduce anyone. I just woke up." She said trying to explain things. "I didn't realize I was half naked."

"Liar." Her mother shrieked.

"What the hell is going on here?" said Tsunade joining the party.

"Sakura." Mrs. Haruno spat. "Has been trying to steal Johnny since the moment I brought him home." She said spinning around to face Tsunade. "This is your fault. I left her here for you to raise her not for you to turn her into some sort of twisted man stealing bitch."

Sakura shook her head. "I have _no_ interest in Johnny." She said pleading her case to her grandmother. "This is just a misunderstanding." It was completely ridiculous. What kind of interest could she possibly have in that guy? Her mother was delusional if she thought Sakura would want that man even for a second. Tsunade would understand.

"First of all," Tsunade said putting her hand over her eyes. "Where on earth are your clothes?"

"I've still got my pants on! I was just trying to get to the bathroom; I forgot that I wasn't wearing my shirt. I'm not trying to _seduce_ anyone!"

Mrs. Haruno pushed Sakura aside, " She's _lying_. You've raised my daughter to be a liar! She made her first move on him when she told him all of those horrible _lies_ about me, about her own mother! Now she is trying to use that pathetic excuse for a body to steal my boyfriend."

It was one thing to accuse her but to insult her _and_ Tsunade in the same bullshit speech… Sakura hated her mother more than ever. "Don't talk about us like that!"

"If your going to act like a whore at least get paid for it!"

"Oh I'm the whore?! I'm the whore?!"

"Alright, alright, enough!" Tsunade shouted over them. "That is enough out of both of you! Sakura go put your clothes on and get ready for breakfast. We'll talk about this then, _like adults_."

Sakura thought her mother looked like she had just swallowed a lemon, she was a little surprised when the woman backed down dragging Johnny like the moron he was after her. Truth be told Sakura felt more than just a little outraged. Her mother had no right to touch her much less hit her. Tsunade should have taken her side right away. How could there be any doubt in her eyes that Sakura wasn't telling the truth?

She returned to her own room and grabbed a sweatshirt from her closet, although she didn't really see the point anymore, they had seen everything there was to see already.

Tsunade met her in the doorway. "We need to get something straightened out before we go down there."

"Ok…" Said Sakura apprehensively

"You need to tell me the truth… I heard noises coming from your room last night. If you weren't with Johnny then who were you with?"

Sakura couldn't believe her ears. "You actually think..." She stopped. "You actually think that I was with _Johnny_ last night? Seriously? _Seriously?_"

"Well I don't know Sakura." The old woman said with her hands on her hips. "You tell me!"

Never in her life had Sakura wanted so badly to defy this woman. She was tempted to say that she _was_ with Johnny just to spite her. She was always demanding that Sakura grow up and act like and adult. Well, Sakura was a teenager and sometimes she was going to act like a teenager. But still, for Tsunade to think Sakura might actually have been with Johnny, that was _bullshit._

"I'm waiting Sakura…"

"I was with Sasuke." The pink haired girl lied. There was no way she was telling her about Gaara. "I snuck Sasuke in here last night while you were in the shower."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "I thought you two were broken up."

"Well I'm an _adult_ Tsunade," Sakura said her jaw clenched. "Just because we're broken up doesn't mean we're not still _fucking._"

The older woman looked as if she wanted to say something but she didn't. Either way, Sakura had nothing she wanted to or needed to apologize for. This was all _complete_ bullshit.

Finally Tsunade spoke. " I'll see you at breakfast." Was all she said before turning away.

Sakura didn't understand how their relationship could have deteriorated so fast. All she knew was, her mother had to go. "That person…that woman downstairs. She's not my mother. Why are you letting her say these things about us? She is destroying our family!" She called to her grandmother.

Tsunade stopped walking. "You're over simplifying."

"I wish people would stop saying that to me."

"You have to understand." The old woman said. "She has a legal right to you. There isn't a court in this country that would keep you from her. She's your mother."

"But-"

"But nothing. I thought I would have a couple more good years until I got sick, I thought you would at least be eighteen by that time. Well, I don't and you're not. We have to make the most of this. I'm sorry."

Sakura stomped her foot. "No!" she said angrily. "No! There has got to be something else. Stop saying that that woman is my mother, she is not!"

Tsunade turned back around. "You need to start getting used to the idea that in a couple of months I'll be gone and you'll be leaving Konoha with your mother."

* * *

It was always hardest to go back to school after a long weekend, but on that particular Monday morning, Sakura couldn't wait to get the hell out of her house.

Sakura, Johnny, and Tsunade had all tried to convince Sakura's mother that there was nothing going on between Johnny and Sakura. In the end she had believed that of course Johnny would never do anything to betray her but also that Sakura could not be trusted. Sakura had apparently been waiting since the moment her mother came to town to make her move on her man.

Those people were going to drive her to insanity. She needed something, _anything_ to keep her mind off of the lunacy.

For once she decided to ignore the drone of her math teacher reading out the answers to the break's homework. Sakura reached into her binder, ripped out a sheet of paper and began writing.

**Good break?**

She folded up the note and tossed it on Ino's desk next to her. Ino opened up the note and soon began writing her own reply. In another minute the note was on its way back to Sakura's desk.

_not bad. I gained liek a ton of weight from all the pie I ate but I spent some time with my man so it wasnt all so bad. there were some good sales this weekend I got some nice new jeans and some xmas presents. What about you?_

**My mother and her boyfriend are complete idiots who are apparently hell bent on ruining my life. Yesterday morning the woman accused me of trying to steal her boyfriend! As if I couldn't find a boy my own age to date… T seems to not give a damn that this is all going on under her roof and has made no real move to kick my mother to the curb. Do you know what my mother did after her bogus accusations? She went for a drive, IN MY CAR! She drove it into a ditch! I wanted to kill her! She needs to leave; I want her to GO AWAY! t'sgiving dinner was unbearable this year. N. and his parents came over, N.'s mama assured me that she will find a way to keep me in K. but I'm not too optimistic. What brand of jeans? Are you wearing them now? I like the dark wash look for you.**

_My Ma thinks you should try for that emancipation business. You could live with me and work in the flower shop until your eighteen. Is your car Ok? DO NOT for one second think that we would let you leave K. its just not happening. I heard from a very reliable source that you were getting cozy with K. S. last thursday night. Care to comment? Yes, these are the new ones, there _Jame's_. You likeeee????_

**She completely smashed the front bumper! It's in the shop now and it won't be ready until next Monday! How am I supposed to get around? Its MY car! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE. She had NO right to take it! Seriously, I wanted to strangle her. ALSO Tell your source to get their facts straight. K. S. was drunk and I, S. H., was not interested. There was not, is not, and will not ever be something there. Yeah, those are some NICE JEANS you got on there Ms. Y.**

_They are aren't they ____ So S.H. is still blissfully single? Hmmmm. You've been hanging out with N.U. a lot, and I notice you are on first initial basis too! That really really really sucks about your car. Can you sue your Ma or something? Or blackmail her?_

**N. is like a brother to me, enough said. My mother is OUT OF CONTROL.**

_The bell is going to ring in like a minute. Meet me after school in the lobby? Lets get coffee! _

The bell rang and Ino was flying out the door and on her way to her next class before Sakura could even respond. She was in no real hurry to go home, so getting coffee sounded like a good plan.

Gaara was in her next class.

Earlier that day in English class, Sakura thought they were doing a pretty good job of acting indifferent towards each other. Gaara's act was so good it made Sakura wonder if she had imagined everything between them. He never once glanced in her direction. Even though it was risky, Sakura still wanted to catch his eye somehow. She wanted to tell him all about the silly business with her mom. She wanted him to make her problems seem so insignificant. She wanted his reassurance that she wasn't alone.

But again he played the part of a stranger so perfectly. If they really had to keep this up than they would never actually find a way to get their English project done. You'd think if they could find ways to sneak around to go on dates they could find a way to do homework… she couldn't help but feel that homework would be such a waste of their time together. At this point, she had every faith in his brilliance and knew if he tried just a little, he could write up something incorporating both of their styles. He was just that good.

Sakura's last period of the day was equally uneventful, that was of course until she felt someone tap her shoulder on her way out of class. She was shocked when she turned around to find Karin, Sasuke's new girlfriend, standing behind her. "Hi…" Sakura said trying to think of reasons why this girl would seek her out.

"I just want you to know that we waited until you two were broken up." The other girl said forgoing her greeting.

"Excuse me?"

Karin rolled her eyes. "Sasuke and I waited to have sex until after he dumped you. I'm not a home wrecker."

"Right…" Sakura said shaking her head and starting toward the door. She didn't have time for that crap, Ino was supposed to be waiting for her.

Karin followed her. "Seriously, we're like Brad and Angelina and your Jennifer Aniston. So I just like, wanted to make sure you weren't still trying to hold on to him or something. Like, you need to let go."

Sakura laughed out loud. Sasuke was such the farthest thing from her mind. She felt only regret when she remembered their time together. He was _not _Brad Pitt. "Oh believe me," she said, "I've let go."

"Wait!" Karin yelled.

Sakura turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"I was just hoping you could tell me the name of the place you took his dry cleaning to."

Well, Sakura always took Sasuke's dry cleaning to the fancy place one town over, but she wasn't about to tell Karin that. The pink haired girl shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sorry I can't say that I do. Well, best of luck to you Karin." She turned around and called before turning down another hallway. "You're going to need it."

She almost felt bad for Karin. Almost.

"Sakura?" she heard a voice say, snapping her out of her reverie. It was Gaara. She looked once over her shoulder to make sure they were alone before she dashed over to wear he stood emptying books from his locker.

"Hey." She said elated that they found a moment alone together. She felt bubbly inside just being around him. "You got home alright?"

Gaara nodded but as usual, didn't elaborate. Sakura new better than to ask for details.

"Next time before you leave throw a shirt at me, will you? My mother's boyfriend saw me topless and it incited a whole slew of drama." Sakura said joking with him. She wasn't really sure what to say to him, but she was not about to let herself fall into that awkward silences trap.

"You let him see you _naked_?"

"No, I had pants on."

Gaara looked at her in doubtfully. "How does someone forget to put a shirt on? You're an idiot Sakura."

He didn't sound jealous at all. He also seemed completely unaware of the golden opportunity they had to have one of those really hot secret lovers encounters. The kind where the girl gets thrown against the wall and then there is a furious scramble for a moment of intimacy. He was almost as unresponsive now as he was in the classroom.

"You know you'd be surprised how eas- Hey what happened to your hand?" Sakura said staring at his right hand.

A look of guilt graced his features and he quickly hid his hand behind his back. "Its nothing." He said calmly. "You should go before someone sees you."

"Hey don't be like that." Sakura replied tugging at his arm. "Come on, I promise won't ask any questions. Just let me see."

Reluctant he brought his arm back out and showed her his hand. As she suspected, his knuckles were swollen. It was clear he had been fighting. All she could do was sigh.

"Don't get upset. If you get upset I'm leaving." He said beginning to move away from her. She caught his wrist.

"I said I wasn't going to ask. Isn't that enough? Just be sure to put some ice on it when you get home? You need those hands Gaara Sabaku."

The redhead rolled his eyes.

Sakura ignored it; he was a guy after all. Still, she brought his fist up to her lips and gently kissed his sore fingers. "I'm not asking for a miracle or anything, just not to get yourself injured too badly. How on earth will we go ice skating or bowling like the other couples?"

Gaara didn't answer. Instead, he pulled down the neck of his baggy black long sleeved shirt to reveal a painful purple bruise. "Do you plan on kissing all of my boo-boos?" he asking mockingly.

He should have known better by now. Sakura leaned in and to her satisfaction Gaara's breath hitched. She brought her lips close to the top of his bruise but was careful not to let them touch. Slowly, she moved her face down and lets her eyelashes quietly brush the colorful skin giving him an equally mocking butterfly kiss.

But just ask quickly as things started they ended. Sakura was the one who, much to her disappointment, was left standing stupidly as Gaara abruptly backed away from her and slammed shut his locker door.

"I want to see you again this week." Sakura said hoping and praying that she didn't sound too needy.

Gaara nodded. "I've thought about it. The only time when I get out of town alone is when I'm going to the doctors. My next appointment is on Friday."

She had to wait another four days? That just wasn't fair. Still, the fact that 'he had thought about it' gave her more hope than should have been allowed. Sakura waited for him to finish.

"You could… come with me… if you want to… I guess."

Wow he sure did sound enthusiastic about it. Even if it were just a doctor's appointment, at least they would be able to be together. Talking to him in a crowded waiting room was better than nothing. They didn't need to be alone together… they just needed to be together.

"Are you going right after school?" she asked.

"Yeah, I walk to the bus stop and get off at Suna."

Konoha had one bust stop. The bus that ran through the five neighboring towns came every twenty minutes and stopped right in front of the town hall. Ideally Sakura would have liked to just drive to Suna but that was now impossible. "I can meet you there. Normally we could just drive…but thanks to my birth mother I don't have a car."

"Tragic."

"Oh go to hell Gaara Sabaku." She said though she wasn't really angry. He was so predictable. She grinned at him and he gave her a small smile in return.

"Friday, three thirty, the bus stop." Said Gaara's mouth. Sakura really liked those lips.

"Yeah, I got it." Those lips were getting closer. She was about to tilt her head back, let him kiss her, when…

She heard footsteps, goddamn footsteps. Gaara immediately backed away from her.

"Its probably Ino." Sakura said. "I'm supposed to grab coffee with her."

Gaara shrugged. "I'll go out the door by the fields. Don't worry about it."

"Ok." She said wishing that he had a normal family that didn't hate him. "I wasn't joking about that ice, take care of your hand please."

"Whatever." He said adjusting his schoolbooks and turning to leave. Life was so unfair. "See you later."

"Bye." Sakura said softly. She wondered where he was off to, work probably, but still she wondered.

* * *

"Hey, there you are!" Ino said running toward Sakura. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Did you forget you were meeting me?"

"No." Sakura said when Ino finally reached her. "I just got cornered by Karin and lost track of things."

"Karin eh? What did she want?"

Sakura sighed. "Oh just a load a crap about me letting go of Sasuke. Nothing intelligible."

Ino and Sakura started to walk toward the coffee shop, which by the grace of god, was only a couple blocks away from the high school. "I guess her and Sasuke are an item now. All I can say is, 'Good riddance, Sasuke Uchiha.' I could care less about him now."

Ino laughed. "I've always maintained you were better off with out him. But speaking of Sasuke…"

"Mmm?"

"You wouldn't happen to know why Gaara Sabaku sent him to the infirmary, would you?" Ino asked.

* * *

**Yeah thats right, its a cliff hanger. I don't feel like writing anymore right now but I thought some readers might like a chapter to read. so Ta Da a chapter was born this morning. My parents forbade me and the siblings from bringing our computers to our beach house, so I haven't seen the internet in weeks. Thats also why there weren't really review replies. I should really update my other story, I've got the chapter sorta planned out, but when I woke up this morning I wanted to write for this one. It happens I guess.**

**ANYWAYS. I hope everyone had a nice holiday. THANKS SO MUCH for all the reviews. I love to read them. THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU.  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Yo. I'm watching Obama giving a speech in Baltimore and let me tell you, I like to stay away from politics it scares me, but listening to this man speak is amazing. I'm really looking forward to the inauguration. **

**ANYWAYS. I hope you guys like this chapter. Its kind of weird but its long too, so enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

Sakura almost chocked. That would explain the swollen knuckles. Oh God Gaara, so much for being discreet. She closed her eyes put a hand on her forehead. "Please tell me you're joking."

"It was right after sixth period. Sasuke and some guys from the team were just standing in the hallway talking when out of nowhere Gaara jumped on him." Said Ino sounding genuinely baffled. "I was standing on the other side of the hall and even I don't know how it happened.

"How badly was Sasuke hurt?" Sakura asked. She kind of liked the idea of Gaara beating the crap out of Sasuke in a couple of ways it was actually pretty hot. But the kind of trouble Gaara was exposing himself to by going after Sasuke was daunting to say the least.

"I think it was just surface damage." Ino said with a shrug. "He could still walk when they pulled Gaara off of him. So I'm assuming he wasn't really all that hurt."

"Did Gaara get in trouble?"

"No, not at school at least. Sasuke looked really pissed though. I can't imagine him not doing something to fight back. You went out with the guy, do you think he would take that lying down?"

No, no of course not. Sasuke had an ego twice the size of Texas. There was no way in hell he would let Gaara get away with it. Why didn't Gaara tell her what he had done? The sooner he told her these things the better. How could she fix this if he never even told her what was going on? "Sasuke is a jerk."

"And Gaara is just plain scary." Ino laughed.

That wasn't all he was. Sakura tried to laugh too. "Yeah, he's something else alright."

A silence followed. Neither Sakura nor Ino spoke again until after they had ordered and received their coffees. Sakura could tell Ino was deep in thought, and it made her nervous.

"Sakura?" Ino asked.

"Yeah?" she answered already knowing what Ino's question would be.

"You were serious last week when you said you were hooking up with him, weren't you?" The blond said in a tone suggesting she really didn't want to hear Sakura's answer.

There was no point in denying it, she never could hide anything from Ino."Yes." Sakura exhaled.

"And you're probably the reason the fight started, aren't you."

She winced. "Probably… yes."

"Oh god." Ino threw her head back. "Seriously, Sakura?" she groaned. "You could have any guy you want! What the hell are you doing?"

"I like him." Sakura said simply. "No, I don't regret it. And yes, I know what I'm doing." It was true too, she was really excited about her new relationship.

"This is a bad idea. You have to know how bad of an idea this is." Ino said looking stricken. "Haven't you heard the stuff people say about him?"

"Have you heard the stuff people say about me?" Sakura shook her head. "You can't believe everything you hear Ino."

"Well then I'll believe what I see. I've seen Gaara beat people within an inch of their lives. How do I know he won't flip out and do the same to you? I've seen him lying to teachers, skipping school, smoking pot, he is a bad guy."

"Stop. Seriously, just stop. I'm not saying he's a man of the year or anything like that and he has already assured me that he wouldn't hit me even if he really really wanted to."

"Oh god, I really don't want to hear this."

But the pink haired girl continued. "Plus he's hot and a really good kisser."

"Two excellent traits in a psychopathic killer." Said Ino sarcastically. "Ew, and no Sakura, he is _so _not hot… Ugh! I can't believe you're _sleeping_ with him. I can't believe we're even _having_ this conversation."

"Did I mention this is an absolute secret? And actually, we've only slept together in the literal sense, no sex." Sakura said lightly.

"Wait…he's your secret lover but you aren't having sex?" The blond made a face. "I don't get it."

"Secret lover?" she echoed. "You're making it sound all… _weird_. We're not keeping it a secret because I'm afraid of what people might think, We're keeping a secret it a secret because Mayor Sabaku is not a nice man. He's freak if he knew we were seeing each other."

"For good reason! Are you sure this isn't just your way of acting out against your mother and Tsunade? You're just trying to freak them out by going out with the scariest guy in school."

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Well if it was a cry for attention don't you think I would be spreading the news instead of trying to hush things up?"

"Hey don't get pissed," Ino replied on the defensive, " I just don't want to have to give a eulogy at your funeral.

Sakura never used to mind hearing bad things about Gaara. A couple of weeks ago she herself had many unpleasant words for him, in fact at that very moment she was ready to tear him apart for his recklessness. But for some reason it made her feel a little sick to hear Ino say and imply bad things about him. He wasn't good… he wasn't bad…he was just Gaara. Ino didn't know him, how could she possibly make judgments about their relationship?

"Please don't say that. I spent long enough convincing him and myself that this wasn't the stupidest idea on earth; I don't have the patience or the will to convince you too. You're my best friend; I shouldn't have to convince you of anything. You're just supposed to support me, unconditionally might I add. I always have _your_ back."

Ino didn't answer; she just sat there chewing on her fingernails.

"I'm not asking for your permission or approval."

"Well you're not going to get it." Ino snapped.

Sakura put her hands on the table and stood upright. "Well, I guess I'm done here." She waited for Ino to stop her, when she didn't Sakura sighed. "I cannot believe you're letting me walk away like this."

"You're not really giving me any other choice. You're not acting like yourself." Ino reasoned. " You're not concentrating in class, you haven't been to any games or parties and please, don't get me started on how you've let your appearance go down the drain. What the hell are you even wearing?"

Sakura glanced down. Ok, so maybe she was in sweat pants and a no name brand waffle shirt, but she really had just rolled out of bed and gotten dressed in the dark. She had been tired and slept later than usual and then kept all the lights down as not to wake her mother or Johnny. Plus, its not like Gaara cared what she wore or how much make up she put on, so why should she bother with all that stuff? At least this way she got an extra hour and a half of sleep in the mornings.

"Does that stuff even matter?" The pink haired girl asked suddenly feeling very tired.

"Apparently not." Ino replied snidely.

"Fuck yourself Ino." Said Sakura letting the words out before she could think. When she realized what she had done she slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Excuse me?"

"I didn't mean-"

"I think you did." The blond cut her off. "He's already having a bad influence."

Now that wasn't exactly fair. Sakura knew how to be a bitch long before she had even met Gaara Sabaku. If she had been violent then maybe they could blame it on his influence… but truth be told Sakura was just getting really sick of people passing judgment over her and Gaara. People sucked.

"Yeah actually, I _did_ mean it." Sakura picked up her school bag off the floor. "God Ino, there are more important things then reputations and fashion." She said hurling the bag over her shoulder. "When your finally get that…well you'll know where to find me."

Even though she said that…on her way out Sakura still couldn't decided just who turned their back on who.

* * *

In just three short days it became another one of those secrets everyone knew, but everyone was also to chicken shit to talk about openly. Sakura Haruno and Gaara Sabaku were together, _together_, together.

No one had actually seen the two do anything other than glance at one another, but they didn't need to really see anything to know what was going on. Sasuke had opened up his mouth of course, and a whole bunch of nonsense was circulating about Sakura, Gaara, and his non-existent meth lab. Ino, for better or for worse, tried to clear up the rumors but in the end she only served to muddy the waters. Apparently Sakura, after having a psychotic break with reality, got hooked on Gaara and his magic shrooms. God what is it with teenagers and drugs?

Anyways, as luck would have it, the rumor was well contained within the walls of Konoha Senior High School. If Mayor Sabaku had found out that Gaara was going against his orders he hadn't done anything about it yet. Sakura's family sure hadn't said anything about it either. But then again, they were pretty consumed in their own pile of lunacy.

Tsunade was helping her daughter and future son in law (?) pick out a home in New York on the Internet. Eventually the three of them would be traveling up there together to actually purchase one.

It was weird, everyone in the house kept going on and on about the move to New York. Sakura listened, nodded, shook her head, but it never mattered. Her mother seemed so certain that Sakura would be moving with them, while Sakura herself didn't even consider it a possibility. There was no way she was leaving Konoha. No way.

"Not being able to face reality is not something you should be marveling over." Gaara said giving Sakura an annoyed look. "You are setting yourself up for a mental breakdown."

"Is this some backward way of you telling me you want me out of Konoha?" Sakura said staring at his knee. They were sitting on the bus on their way to his doctor's appointment. Their knees were almost touching, so close to touching. She shouldn't have been so excited by this, but their knees were almost touching.

"Did your mom do drugs when she was pregnant with you or something? Because you are the single stupidest person I've ever met." He said his look turning into a glare. "What the hell are you staring at?" He asked inching away from her.

"Nothing." Sakura sighed dejected. "Nothing at all."

A silence over took them making the pink haired teen very nervous. Silences were no good for them. She reached into her backpack and pulled out their English project. "We can work on this if you want." She said waving the papers in his face.

"You're kidding." He said waving the papers away. "Get rid of those."

Sakura felt something in her whistle. Without so much as a thought she slid the bus window open and tossed the papers outside. It was liberating and terrifying at the same time. She watched the papers escape into the wintry breeze and she was filled with envy. Why could she throw the rest of her problems out the window so easily?

Gaara yanked on her arms tightly almost harshly and pulled her so she faced him. "What did you just do?" he demanded. "What did you just do?"

She wouldn't admit it but he was scaring her just a bit. People on the bus were staring at them, looking at them like they were nuts. Sakura was throwing things out the window and Gaara was emanating raw irritation in all directions.

"Oh relax…I've got copies of everything saved on my computer at home." Sakura said like it was no big deal. It kind of was a little bit of a deal though. None of her home copies had all their editing on them. Hopefully Gaara wouldn't realize this piece of information.

"What's going on with you?" He asked in a worried tone.

She should have been overjoyed that he was worrying for her, but she wasn't. She was pissed. "_Nothing_ is going on with me!" she said through gritted teeth. "Why does everyone keep assuming there is something wrong with me?"

"You need to calm down." He said softly but his grip on her arms tightened.

"Oh fuck you." She spat at him.

Gaara dropped her arms but took one of her hand and placed it on top of her heart. He pressed gently and then looked up at her face. "Do you feel that? Your heart is racing. It means what you are doing, saying, feeling right now is not really you. You need to _calm down_."

His hand was so cold on top of her warms one. He was right though, her heart was beating fast, and it wasn't just because he was touching her. Sakura guessed she really did need to calm down. "I guess I am a little wild right now, just give me a minute." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Ok."

He let go of her hand. "Ok?"

"Ok."

"Good." Gaara said closing his mouth and crossing his arms.

Sakura guessed he wasn't in the mood to talk anymore. The two sat for a while watching as people got on and off the bus and listening to bits and pieces of the conversations going on around them. Who knew public transportation could be so interesting.

When the bus became more crowded and the conversations too tangled to continue listening to, Sakura let her mind wander. Both Ino and Gaara had commented on how she seemed unlike herself lately. At first she thought it was just a load of garbage, but now she wasn't so sure. Normal Sakura would never in a million trillion years throw a homework assignment out the window of a moving bus.

She was scared that her relationship with Gaara was just another mistake in the string of reckless acts she had been committing since her break up with Sasuke and her mother's arrival. If that were the case then there was no way things between them could actually go anywhere. Sakura was putting Gaara in harms way because she felt like trying him out on a whim. What would happen if that was the truth?

She didn't want to hurt him.

When they got off the bus and started walking toward the hospital Sakura wondered if Gaara knew how intimate it was for two people to go to a doctor's appointment together. "What kind of doctor are you going to see." She asked already knowing the answer.

"Psychiatrist." He answered indifferently. "I go every three weeks."

She could have gathered that much from what she read in his notebook. "Oh." She debated over asking this next question. "Do you have a disorder or something?"

Gaara took a moment to answer. "I guess it depends on who you ask."

"Oh." Sakura said again, not really knowing what else to do or say.

The red head stared at the ground. "This one doctor…a friend of my father's…he thought I might have something called Conduct Disorder."

"Is that something bad?" She asked. Sakura really didn't know much about mental health disorders.

"Yeah." Gaara said. He shrugged his shoulders. "But the doctor I see now, she did all sorts of brain scans, MRI kind of stuff, and she asked me a whole bunch of questions. She doesn't think I have Conduct Disorder. She thinks I've got a mood disorder."

"That's a better diagnosis right? I mean, lots of people have mood disorders."

"I guess. I had to try lots of different medicines. Some of them made me sick."

She had read about that too. It was a cruel joke that sometimes medicines made people sick. Medicine was supposed to make you feel better, not worse. She wondered what Gaara had to have been taking to feel so miserable. It just wasn't fair.

They walked into the building together and took the elevator up to the fifth floor. The elevators in hospitals were so roomy, Sakura mused. There was probably room for fifteen other people inside, but Sakura and Gaara rode up alone.

The waiting room was also relatively empty which came as sort of a relief to Sakura. She liked Gaara enough, but she wasn't sure how she would feel in a room full of other psych patients. You never know when you're sitting next to the next Ted Bundy.

When Gaara went in for his appointment Sakura amused herself by counting the squares on the ugly pink carpet. She would have read one of the magazines but none of the titles really appealed to her. It was safe to say Sakura didn't subscribe to _Backyard Living _or _Bow Hunting Digest_. She was starting to wish she hadn't thrown their project out the window, at least then she would have something productive to do while she waited.

It was safe to say that this had to be the weirdest date she had ever been on. If you could even call it a date. She was just supposed to wait outside while he was talking to a doctor about his mental problems…and then what? It was likely Gaara had anything planned.

She wasn't sure how she felt about Gaara's apparent disorders. She didn't know enough about psychology to make any decisions just yet. She could at the very least respect that he was getting help for whatever problem he might have. As long as he was actively trying to fix his problems she could handle it too.

Sakura started to notice that the short brown haired girl across the room had been starting at her for quite some time. She didn't recognized the brown haired girl so she couldn't imagine what reason this girl would have for staring at her like that. It was starting to make her a little uncomfortable. Finally the girl stood up and walked up to where Sakura sat.

"Um, are you here with Gaara?" the girl asked unsure.

Sakura was caught completely off guard. "Yeah actually… are you a friend of his?"

The girl shook her head. "Not really, we're just on the same appointment schedule. We've only talked a couple of times."

Gaara had never mentioned anything about being friends with a waiting room girl. But Sakura really didn't know all that much about him, so she couldn't be confident that there was nothing between them. Still, that didn't give her a reason not to be polite to the girl. "I'm Sakura." She said offering her hand.

"Hi, I'm Matsuri." The brown girl said timidly shaking Sakura's hand.

"Are you from Suna?" Sakura asked. It might create a problem if the girl was from Konoha and saw her and Gaara together in public.

"Yes, are you?"

"No." Sakura said shaking her head. "Gaara and I are both from Konoha."

Matsuri took the seat next to Sakura. "You guys go to school together?"

"You bet, Konoha Senior High. We're juniors." She looked at the girl next to her thoughtfully. "Are you in high school yet?" she asked noticing how young her companion looked.

"I'm a freshman but I should be a sophomore. I was held back in middle school."

"High School years really just fly by, before you know it you'll be graduating. Or so I've been told." Sakura said. She was uncertain about what kind of answer Matsuri was looking for, or why she had struck up conversation in the first place.

Matsuri nodded distractedly. "Are you Gaara's girlfriend?" She blurted out before blushing bright pink.

Ok, obviously Matsuri has some sort of crush on Gaara. Her bashful behavior was leading Sakura to believe that the crush had never been reciprocated, at least not to Matsuri's knowledge. Sakura wasn't sure how to answer this one either. She wasn't really his girlfriend, except she kind of was… and she really didn't want to hurt nice little Matsuri.

"We're seeing each other… exclusively I hope." She said smiling kindly. "We haven't been together very long so I'm not really sure where things stand. He's kind of an enigma, that Gaara Sabaku."

"You just don't really seem like his type." Matsuri said acrimoniously.

Sakura hid her indignation with a soft laugh. "Well, you know what they say, opposites attract…"

"Its probably just a fling though…right?"

"I don't know." She said honestly, because she really didn't know. Things were still so new between them. "We both really like each other, so we're just going to see where it goes from there."

Matsuri looked troubled. Sakura inwardly hoped that Gaara hadn't done anything to encourage her admiration. If Matsuri was visiting a psychiatrist once a month, then there was a chance that she wasn't the most mentally stable crayon in the box. The last thing that Sakura wanted or needed was the attention of Gaara's overzealous admirer. Hopefully Matsuri was just a sweet girl with a crush and not some sort of psychopath.

"There are a lot of good guys out there though. I'm sure there are tons of cute guys in Suna." The pink haired girl said trying to cheer the other girl up.

"Do you want me to introduce you to some?" Matsuri asked with what Sakura read as an alarming amount of sincerity.

"Uh…well-"

"Matsuri…" A deep voice called saving Sakura from having to answer.

Both girls turned to stare at the source of the voice, a doctor in a white lab coat waiting for Matsuri in the doorway. He couldn't have had better timing. The brown haired girl got up to leave.

"It was very nice to meet you Matsuri, I hope we can see each other again in three weeks.

"Mmmm." The girl said nodding without much enthusiasm. It was clear she didn't want to see Sakura again ever.

Matsuri followed the doctor back through the door and out of Sakura's view. The pink haired girl was left to wait for Gaara by herself. None of the room's other occupants took it upon themselves to introduce themselves to her, although she was positive they had all been listening to her conversation with Matsuri.

She didn't have to wait too long before Gaara strolled out through that same doorway hands in his pockets as casual as can be. "Lets go." He said stopping in front of her.

"Where to?" Sakura asked letting her face light up with a smile. She was always happy to see him.

"Anywhere."

* * *

"I've never actually been to a bar before." Sakura sat on a stool next to the redhead and did her best to look inconspicuous.

"There aren't any bars in Konoha. Besides, you don't drink right?" Gaara asked flagging down the bar tender.

Of course she didn't drink, and if she did, she would hardly need a bar to do it. There was always a healthy supply of alcohol in her house. She hoped that Gaara himself wasn't thinking of drinking. Sakura didn't want to think about what a drunk Gaara would be like.

The bar tender came over to where the couple was sitting and smirked at them. "You aren't even close to twenty-one." He said to Gaara. He squinted his eyes and stared at Sakura. "You on the other hand…you're pretty cute." He pointed to her "Your drinks are on the house."

Ah! Free drinks! Success! "Thanks, if I could just get a coke that'd be really nice." Sakura smiled sweetly. Who knew bars could be so much fun?

It must have been happy hour or something because the bar was pretty full. Sakura wondered if it were one of those places young professionals went to have drunken anonymous sex. It looked to her like she had walked into a yuppie playground. She couldn't figure out why Gaara had taken her to such a place.

"Stay here." The boy next to her said. He slid off his stool and brushed non-existent dirt off of his black pants. "Try not to get hit on. I'll be right back."

Sakura realized he was getting up to go so she indulged in a little bit of panic. She did not want to be the girl alone at the bar. "Wait!" she shouted. "Don't leave me here alone. You can't just take me to a bar and then split." She all but anchored him to stool with her body. "This is a bar! I'm only seventeen!"

"I told you not to get hit on… just sit tight for two minutes." Gaara rolled his eyes. Apparently he thought her distress was unfounded. "There is just a guy I need to talk to." He said. "Wait for me…please?"

Sakura let him go only because she was curious. Who could Gaara possibly know in this bar? And he was so cute when he said 'please' like that.

She watched him walk over to some white-collar twenty-something year old with rolled up sleeves and a flashy haircut. His smirk was positively oozing off his smug face. Sakura couldn't see Gaara's face, but she could imagine the glare he was wearing. It made her quite proud.

Gaara and The Sleazy Jerk walked outside the bar together. Sakura wasn't worried for even a second that he might not have be coming back. Gaara was a lot of things, but he wasn't the guy who would do that to a girl, not to her. His character in mind though, she hoped he wasn't going outside to start a fight. She was stilled pretty pissed off about that whole business with Sasuke.

They were literally gone for two minutes before both Gaara and The Sleazy Jerk reemerged through the door, doing a good job of acting like they didn't know each other. The Sleazy Jerk returned to his table where another sleazy jerk and a girl with fake pearls and an orange tan were waiting. Gaara didn't even look in their direction as he made his way back to Sakura. As expected, he returned to her side quietly and didn't make an effort to explain what that whole thing had been about. Sakura sipped her coke quietly and Gaara stared at his hands. The minutes ticked by.

If he wasn't going to say anything then she certainly wasn't going to ask. If he wanted to be a secretive bastard then she was going to be an uncaring bitch.

"I met your friend Matsuri today." She said finally. "What's up with her? She's got like, this massive crush on you."

"Her parents were murdered." Gaara replied flatly.

Sakura choked on her soda and spent the next minute coughing to clear her chest. "Her parents were murdered? How the hell was I supposed to know that?"

The boy shrugged. "Its not your problem."

"You're not interested in her…are you?" Sakura asked studying his face carefully.

"Yeah, I'm interested in her. That's why I'm with you right now…" he rolled his eyes again.

She froze. "Wait does mean that you _do _like her or do-"

"Idiot." He interrupted. "You are an _idiot_."

"Well have you ever looked in a mirror? You've got _one_ expression! And your voice, you've got to tones…angry and angrier. So how am I supposed to know when you're being sarcastic?"

And Gaara Sabaku had the audacity to smile. That _asshole_.

"Well its nice to see you're still full of surprises." Sakura said darkly, but she was beginning to smile too.

"I didn't think you were the type of girl who liked surprises."

The pink haired girl leaned in. "This is the kind of surprise I _welcome_."

Gaara looked away. "We should get going." He took her drink away and slid it down the bar. "We don't want to get back too late."

Sakura could have banged her head on the table. They had almost had actual flirting going on! Was he completely allergic to romance? He didn't so much as look at her fondly. What the hell was he even doing? She didn't want to play games with him, but anything too direct would drive him away. She didn't know what to do.

"Right." She said. "We should get going."

The walk to the bus stop was long, cold and quiet, kind of reminding Sakura of their last date. She couldn't decide if it was one of those nice peaceful silences, or one of those tense uncomfortable ones. Her mouth became desperate to say something.

"I stole one of your notebooks." She blurted out.

The second the words left her mouth was the second she knew she had just made and egregious mistake.

Gaara stopped in his tracks. "What did you just say?"

Sakura was horrified, horrified with herself and horrified with the mess she had just dumped on herself. There was absolutely no reason why she needed to tell him about her sticky fingers. He had every right to be furious with her.

"That time you were eating pancakes… well I went downstairs and took one of your notebooks." She had never felt more ashamed in her entire life than she felt at that very moment.

"Seriously? You read my notebook…I don't understand…" Gaara said. He sat down on the curb and put his head in his hands. "Why would you do that?"

"Well Temari said a lot of freaky stuff." Sakura said in an effort to apologize. She was a little confused as to why he wasn't livid. "I just wanted to know more about you. I didn't read the whole thing, just a couple of pages! I've felt terrible about it ever since. I know I should never have taken it but I just…I just…" She sighed and sat down next to him on the street.

"Its not a big deal Sakura." He said calmly. "If Temari said something that bothered you then you should have just asked me about it."

It turned out that the things Gaara got angry over weren't as unbelievable as the things he didn't get angry over. Its like someone had screwed his brain in backwards. "No! Absolutely not!" she shouted. "You're not allowed to be rational and understanding about this. I took something that belonged to you…without asking! I invaded your privacy and violated your trust. I did a bad thing!"

"I know all of that. Yeah Sakura, it was a bitch move." He stretched out his legs into the street. "What do you want me to do, punch you?"

Sakura glanced at his fists and saw that they were loosed and unclenched. There was no danger there. But when she looked up at his face she realized he was bothered by her actions. "No." she said in a wobbly voice. Her eyes were filling up with tears. "Of course not. I just want you to know how sorry I am. I really regret it."

"Just explain to me why you thought taking one of my journals was a good idea because really, it's a stupid, stupid, _stupid_ idea."

Sakura shrugged and then sniffled. "I thought it was the only way to safely assess whether or not you were a manipulative psychopath who was just messing with me for kicks."

"That's actually not that bad of a reason." Gaara said thoughtfully.

Sakura wanted to smack him. "Yes it is! I should have just risked it. You're already risking it, so wouldn't it be fairer?" Sakura hugged her knees. "And besides, I didn't really learn anything I didn't already know."

"What _did _you read?"

"Temari and your dad are both assholes, you don't eat or sleep, you've got quite the dark side…and oh yeah, there was this whole entry dedicated to how ugly I am."

Gaara groaned. "Don't worry, I marvel at your stupidity now. I haven't thought about how ugly you are in a while."

Sakura wanted to cry again. She didn't know if he was being sarcastic or if he was just saying something just plain disturbing. Either way she totally deserved it.

Gaara reached into his pocket and pulled out a clear Ziploc bag. Inside the bag Sakura could see about a dozen or so fat white-

"Are those what I think they are?" Sakura asked in disbelief.

"That depends on what you think they are." He said pulling one out of the bag.

"You were buying drugs? You were buying _drugs_! What the hell Gaara!"

"What did you think I was out there doing?"

"I don't know! Not buying drugs though." Sakura's eyes widened. "I'm an accessory! I was your accomplice! Oh god, this is the worst night ever! Accidental confessions and drugs…Gaara I'm sorry!"

"You're kind of high strung you know that?" Gaara said taking his Bic out his pocket and lighting the joint. "I didn't think this night was so bad, especially compared to last week."

"Would I just be wasting breath if I explained to you how highly I disapprove of your illegal smoking of marijuana? Because I _really_ disapprove." Sakura said testily. "This is so much worse than cigarettes."

"Its just pot…" he said. He held the joint between his pointer finger and thumb, brought it to his lips, and took a long drag. When he was finished he spoke again. "It calms me, it helps me eat, and it helps me sleep."

Sakura figured it was kind of like medical marijuana. She found she didn't object to it so much if she thought he was using it for legit purposes, and not just because he wanted to get high. Still she frowned. Illegal drugs were illegal drugs not matter how you looked at it. She was a little paranoid about sitting on a public street. Sure it was dark out and the street was practically deserted save for themselves, but they would be in _so_ much trouble if a cop or some nosy old person walked by. She couldn't get over the fact he was actually sitting next to her all casual like and smoking pot.

"That guy back there, he is a giant asshole. He works for some international banking company that sends him all over the world. He's an asshole, but he gets really good stuff." Gaara explained.

"Isn't it dangerous for you to be smoking those with out knowing what's inside." She said looking at them with a fair amount of suspicion. "Isn't that just asking for trouble?"

Gaara took another drag. "No. He knows I'd kill him if he put anything funny inside. I'd buy the weed by itself but I'm not good at rolling these things."

He probably would kill the guy. He said it so seriously.

The redhead blew a ring of smoke into the air. "So am I going to get this notebook back?"

"Yes! Of course! I hid it in my closet but I'll give it back to you whenever you want. I'm really, really sorry." She said feeling miserable all over again.

Sakura was _shocked_ when Gaara put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. "I'm not that mad about it so don't go all crazy."

It felt really unbelievably nice to be that close to him, but seeing is how he was smoking up a storm she wriggled out of his grasp. She didn't want to go home reeking of pot because if she did, Tsunade would probably murder her. The last thing she need was her family thinking she was a drug fiend in addition to being a sex fiend.

But she didn't want Gaara to get the wrong idea so she leaned over and kissed his cold cheek. "I'm still really sorry." She thought for a moment. "And tonight wasn't bad at all, I'm having a good time. You're a lot of fun Gaara Sabaku I'll give you that."

"Glad I could be of some entertainment for you." He answered wryly. "You're not so bad yourself."

"Really? Are you sure I don't repulse you?"

Gaara snickered. "I really have to tell you how hot you are?"

"I guess not." She said smiling slightly.

"Hey you want…?" he asked offering the joint to her. "You're not actually going to get high if it's your first time, which I'm assuming it is."

"Maybe next time." Sakura said, her smile widening. "Thanks for the offer though. You're a real gentleman."

He bumped his shoulder into hers. "You're the epitome of ladylike."

High Gaara was kind of sweet.

Sakura hopped to her feet. "Lets get out of here." She said offering her hand to pull him up. "We've got to go catch a bus."

Gaara licked his fingers, put out the joint, and stuffed it back into the Ziploc bag. "Lets get hamburgers."

"Hamburgers?"

"Yeah there's a place up the street." He pointed his finger out into the distance. "You're buying though."

"I'm what?"

"You're paying for my notebook."

Not having to feel guilty about the whole debacle was priceless if you asked her, but Sakura was also pretty hungry. What kind of luck did she have that he didn't even blink and eye when she had admitted what she had done. She would have never expected him to take the news well. She would have blown a gasket if she found out he had read something of hers that was that personal. She was unworthy of his kindness.

"These better be good hamburgers."

* * *

**Yeah. So I'm not really sure what the rule is about writing about drugs. If anyone is offended by this chapter, I'm sorry. Its rated M so you've got to beware right? **

**THANKS GUYS for the reviews. I really really really appreciate them. So leave some more...k?  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**so I just got back from this magical place called Canyon Ranch. WoW I am all refreshed and what not I feel like I could sit and write a zillion more chapters! But since I've actually got school work this lone chapter will have to suffice. I hope you all enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

Several weeks went by. Between the stress of exams and the prospect of having a family Christmas Sakura thought she was going to go out of her mind. Before she knew it New Years had passed by and the frosty January winter had sunk in. All in all, she had had very little time to spend with Gaara.

The whispers about their relationship had grown louder with each passing day. This meant of course, that Sakura and Gaara had to be even more careful than they already were. They had only been able to squeeze in a few dates in the month of December. Because of the limitations their situation provided, they had been very unexciting dates, with very minimal contact.

Why couldn't Gaara have a normal dad? And didn't she ask herself that question _every single day_?

Sometimes during class she could feel him looking at her and she wanted nothing more than to be able to turn and look back at him, but then people would talk. She wanted to eat lunch with him, walk home with him, kiss in the hallway with him, and do all the things that teenage lovers did. She hoped that in all the time they were spending apart he didn't begin to lose interest in her. Because if anything she was _more_ interested in him.

She still wasn't speaking to Ino. This was officially the longest fight in the history of their friendship and there were no lights in the tunnel ahead. The only person Sakura could really talk to these days was Naruto and there were things she just couldn't talk to him about.

In the past, she could also have talked to Tsunade about girl things. Things in the Haruno household were strained to say the least. The only two people who actually spoke to each other were Mrs. Haruno and Johnny. Sakura refused to even look at either of them. Why were two slimy people allowed to date publicly while Sakura and Gaara were having trouble even sneaking around?

But then again the world was full of irony.

Sakura was lying on her bed finishing up some homework when her mother came bursting through the door.

"We've chosen an apartment!" she shouted jump on to Sakura's bed.

"What?" Sakura asked as she moved her homework out from underneath her mother's arms. She was crinkling her science homework!

"We've chosen an apartment." She repeated only this time at a reasonable decibel. "Oh, Sakura you are going to love it! It's an old tenement building in the lower east side, the building is so cute and it's right down the street from the high school. It's between two train stations and two delis. Isn't that fun? Oh and its so trendy! You are going to _love _it." She sang.

Sakura wanted to gag. Like hell she was going to love living anywhere with this bozo. "Sounds lovely." She said her voice devoid of any enthusiasm.

"It will be _so_ lovely." Mrs. Haruno said dreamily. "The four of us are going to live like kings in our cozy little apartment."

Could that women add? Either she was even stupider than Sakura thought or Sakura's worst fear had been confirmed. "You're pregnant." She said flatly.

Mrs. Haruno laughed happily. "For two months now. I'm going to be a mommy and you're going to be a big sister. Isn't that wonderful? This is going to be so much fun!"

No, it wasn't wonderful and it wasn't going to be fun either. Sakura's mother really was delusional. She wasn't competent or mature enough to be a mother. This was going to be a disaster. "Are you going to marry Johnny?"

"He hasn't proposed to me yet." She said, her bright smile fading fast. "He seems to think there is a chance that he isn't the father."

"Is there a chance?"

"Maybe." He mother said softly. She rubbed her belly. "But I want him to be the father."

Sakura almost felt sorry for her. No matter how you looked at it, this woman's life was a train wreck. How old was she? All day she did nothing but sit and watch soap operas and eating potato chips, wasting the electricity and food Tsunade bought and paid for. Sakura also suspected Johnny had either quit or been fired from his 'job'. What kind of employer let their employee take a month and a half long vacation? "Have you considered adoption?"

"Adoption?" she asked stupidly. " Why in the world would I do something like that?"

"I dunno, maybe so your kid can grow up in a nice home with a real mother and father."

"Are you saying that I would be a bad mother?" Mrs. Haruno asked ripe with indignation.

"No, I'm saying you _are_ a bad mother." Sakura said coldly. "You can't say you're my mother and then not act like it. My mother would have taken care of me, my mother would have never wanted to take me away from the people and place I love. Its only when that you claim to be my mother that I get screwed over. You're a joke. I bet you don't even know when my birthday is."

"March twenty eighth." Her mother whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"Your birthday is March twenty eighth." She said more loudly this time. "Do you think I don't know that I've made mistake with you? Do you think I don't regret giving you up? This is my chance to start clean, to give motherhood a second try. I'll do better this time."

"You can't give yourself a clean start while you're dragging me in the mud behind you. Stop being selfish, let me stay in Konoha." Sakura pleaded. "Don't make me leave this behind."

"I will not let another family raise my child. Especially that awful Uzumaki woman." She said stubbornly. "She is just a bitch."

"Well if you feel that way you can get the hell out of my room. There is nothing left for us to talk about." The teenager said and pointed to the door.

Mrs. Haruno stood up. "We're all going up to New York this weekend to check it out. You should think about coming with us."

"I don't need to think about it. I'm not going _anywhere_ with you." Sakura couldn't believe her mother actually thought Sakura would be interested in taking a road trip with her after what she did to Sakura's car.

"Suit yourself." The woman said. She strutted out of the room and slammed the door shut behind her.

Good riddance. There was a reason why they never spoke to one another.

* * *

"What works better for you, Friday night or Saturday night?" Sakura asked in a whisper.

Naruto nodded, turned his head and relayed her question to Gaara who was sitting to his right.

They were in English class listening to a lecture about poetry appreciation (or not listening would be more accurate). Most of Sakura's classmates were conversing in whispers or working on other assignments, so she could inconspicuously communicate to Gaara…through Naruto of course.

"He says he can sneak out on Saturday and he wants to know where you want to go."

"Tell him just to come to my house. My family is going to be away this weekend."

Naruto raised his eyebrows but obediently passed her message on to Gaara who simply nodded at the news. Sakura thought he looked really handsome when he was nodding.

"He says he can be there around ten." Naruto told her. "And _I'm_ saying you better be careful." He gave her a significant look. "There is only so much of this I can handle."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to be my brother, not my father."

"Then as your brother I'm telling you to not be stupid. I know you like him, just…don't be stupid." The blond whispered quietly.

"Are you telling me not to sleep with him? Because really, that's none of your business." She hissed.

Naruto glanced at Gaara, probably to make sure he wasn't listening. "That wasn't what I was talking about. What I mean is, don't get too attached. There is a chance you won't be staying in Konoha much longer and I don't think either of you could handle a serious breakup."

He had a point. Sakura was actually pretty impressed with his insight. But seeing is how she wasn't leaving Konoha, she really had nothing to worry about. She wondered though, about how Gaara would feel if she left. Would he miss her? Was it wrong to hope he would?

"It's not a problem." She said to the boy next to her. Naruto was thinking too much. He had never even had a real relationship, so what the hell would he know about attachment and breakups? "So don't worry about it."

* * *

Sakura didn't realize how much of a relief it would be to have everyone out of the house, because really, it was a huge relief. Everything just felt quieter, and cleaner. It was hard to describe, but even the air seemed fresher.

That didn't stop her from freaking out. Gaara was coming over in just a little less than an hour. They had had such little time alone together that it was hard to imagine having an entire night. Who knew when they would have this kind of opportunity again? Sakura didn't want to waste it; she was _terrified_ she was going to waste it.

She didn't have any idea as to what Gaara might want to eat. She knew he liked grilled cheese and pancakes, and hamburgers when he was high… but she didn't know which he would prefer. It wasn't like he had a cell phone and she could just text him or something, she was actually supposed to guess. Sakura _hated_ to guess.

So naturally, she made all three…and a couple other dishes she thought she was good for. Actually, she had been cooking for pretty much the entire afternoon. Now she knew Gaara really didn't have a big appetite, and that there was no way he could possibly eat it all, but she just wanted to make sure there was something he liked on the table for him.

Sakura wondered if he was going to actually come to the door this time, or if he was going to throw something at her window again. She decided since he wasn't an idiot, he would probably knock on the door downstairs. The first time he had been to her house he had knocked on the door, so it wasn't like he didn't know how.

But what to do when they were actually together… It wasn't like they could spend the entire night together eating. Would he want to talk? Watch a movie? Build a snowman? There was a fair amount of snow on the ground, the land all around town was blanketed in a breath taking white. It was the perfect weather for roaring fires and hot cocoa.

She waited diligently for him on the stairs. The minutes ticked by like hours and an hour felt like a day. Waiting for him was agonizing, because all she could think about was the hundreds of different ways things could go wrong.

How she hated waiting! Twice she resisted the urge to run upstairs and change her outfit. Sakura spent at least an hour getting ready. She was under the assumption that Gaara wasn't a fan of heavy makeup and flashy clothes, so she concentrated on getting that 'understated' look. It took her forever to apply the right amount of makeup so it looked as if she wasn't wearing any makeup at all. She put on her oldest and most worn pair of dark wash jeans (Gaara liked dark colors), a green tee shirt (to bring out her eyes), and thick wool socks (the floors were perpetually cold in her house). After giving it some serious thought, she finally decided that she would opt out of wearing jewelry that night.

She knew it would be too much to ask for him to be on time. It was almost ten thirty and her back was getting sore from sitting on the hard staircase. If he was going to be showing up so late he had better have a present for her or something. If he was showing up late just to break up with her than he was an evil prick. If he was showing up late she was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he was showing up late she was going to kick his ass.

Boys were so confusing. Gaara didn't even own a watch.

For Christmas he had gotten her chocolate of course. It was the single greatest thing about having a boyfriend who worked in a chocolate shop. He was so cute. She found the chocolates in her locker right before Christmas break. She had thought they might be from him but she wasn't certain. The next time they saw each other he asked really casually if she had gotten them, like it was completely natural for him to secretly give her chocolates. God he was cute.

Long ago they had had a brief conversation about music, so Sakura went all out and bought him an ipod. She spent an entire afternoon loading hundreds of different artist onto it and making him playlists of different genres and time periods. She knew he liked the gift to, he acted like what she had done was some big annoyance to him, but if he didn't have the headphones in his ears, she could usually make out the outline of it in his pocket. She hadn't yet gotten to ask him what type of music he liked best.

When the clock struck eleven she realized he wasn't coming. Sakura was absolutely positively crushed. She couldn't believe that he was actually _standing her up_. Every fiber of her being was crying in disappointment. How could he do this to her? Didn't he have any idea how much she had been looking forward to the night? Wasn't he looking forward to it too?

She decided she would give him another hour before she went up to her room and burned everything he had ever touched. He would have until midnight to show up and beg for her forgiveness and not a minute more. Sakura was not so pathetic that she would wait hours and hours from word from some silly boy. No way, Sakura was _not_ that kind of girl. She didn't even like Gaara all that much anyways.

Actually, it was a little closer to one when she actually for real gave up on him. She was completely miserable, a sad girl crawling into bed stifling tears and trying to pretend she wasn't devastated. She couldn't help it, she had just really hoped that he would walk through her door with some lame excuse and a half assed apology and she would laugh and everything would be ok. But it wasn't ok and now she was worried. She closed her eyes and tried to will away her negative thoughts.

But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't fall asleep. There were more plausible reasons for why Gaara had missed their night together. She _knew_ that this wasn't just a case of him deciding he had better things to do than come see her. Sakura had to believe that he liked her almost as much as she liked him.

Again it came back to that long list of different things that could go wrong for the couple. It was dangerous for them to be seeing each other in the first place. What if he had gotten caught while he was sneaking out to see her? What if he was locked in his basement? What if Temari had poisoned him? What if his dad had gone ahead and shipped him off to the mental hospital? The 'what ifs' were going to be the death of her. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't let go of the feeling that something was wrong, _really_ wrong.

That's when the phone rang.

Her immediate thought was that it was probably her mother or Tsunade, checking in to make sure she wasn't out at some sort of wild party. As if it mattered.

Sakura grabbed her phone from off of her nightstand and held it to her ear.

"What do you want?" She had never in her entire life needed a babysitter. She rolled her eyes. "Tsunade if you're calling to check up on me your having a senior moment. I'm actually a little offended."

"Sakura?" Gaara's voice asked.

"Gaara! Oh god, I'm sorry." She was a little embarrassed by the case of mistaken identity, but that her immense relief overshadowed feeling. "I thought it was my loving guardians checking up on me." Sakura said, sounding more apologetic than she had intended to. He had blown her off after all. He had really better have a good excuse, because she was pretty pissed off. "What's going on? Why did you stand me up?"

"Sakura I need to ask a favor." He said. His voice sounded so far away and his tone worried her.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked seriously. This conversation had that feeling of impending doom.

Sakura could hear him hesitating. "Never mind actually, I think I can figure it out." Gaara said. She could tell he was getting ready to hang up the phone.

"Do _not_ hang up on me!" she said sternly. "Tell me what's going on. You know I'm worried. You can't just call me in the middle of the night and not tell me what's going on."

"Do you think you can come get me?"

Yes, she pictured him on the other end of the phone looking so sad. She would come get him no matter where he was calling. "Um, it depends…" she said trying not to spook him. "Where are you?"

There was silence on the other end.

"Gaara?" she asked. "Are you still there?"

"No…I mean yes, I'm still here…I mean I don't need a ride anymore I think I can find my way home." Gaara's voice said.

It was strange, he sounded disoriented. Was he drunk? If he was drunk dialing her she was going to kill him. Her heart beat felt so heavy in her chest and alarm bells were going off in her head. He had to be in some sort of trouble.

"Gaara where are you?" she asked, putting her shaking hand on her forehead.

"Downtown… I think."

He thinks? "Gaara what do you mean by you're downtown?"

"Downtown, the city, the capital."

Oh shit. The capital was like an hour away. What the hell was he doing downtown anyways? How was he going to find a way home if she didn't go and get him? There wasn't a rail stop anywhere near Konoha. God, and downtown wasn't the safest place to be at two o' clock in the morning. What was he thinking? How did he get there in the first place? Sakura's mind was reeling.

"Gaara, where in the city are you?"

"Uh, I'm sort of at Mercy."

Sakura felt as if someone had just taken the floor out from under her feet. She was expecting bad news but that didn't mean she was prepared for it. "Mercy _Hospital_?" She said as if there were any other places named Mercy in the area.

"Yeah."

The pink haired teenager got up out of bed and opened her closet. "Ok stay where you are." She said into the phone. With her free hand she grabbed a sweatshirt and her sneakers. "I'm coming to get you."

"You don't-" he began…

"I swear to God, Gaara if you fight with me on this I'll kill you. Because you know what? If you're dead I won't have to worry about you getting hurt." Sakura shoved her feet into her shoes and sighed. "I know you don't want to hear this, but you make me worry, _a lot._ So just shut up, sit tight, and think about the numerous ways you can repay my kindness. Ok?"

"Yeah."

Sakura carried the phone out of her room and descended down the staircase. She turned the lights in the front room on, to make it look like some one was home, and then grabbed her keys from the hook on the kitchen wall. "Right… So I'm assuming the roads are all empty so I should be able to be there in like half an hour."

She checked to make sure the oven and stove were both off, which of course they were. A bundle of coats, scarves and gloves were waiting for her in the hall closet, which she helped herself to with abandon. She doubted Gaara had brought warm clothes with him so she wanted to have some stuff for him too. She pictured his white arms wrapped around his skinny form, shaking in the wintry breeze and it almost killed her. "Just so I don't have an infarction when I see you, just how badly are you hurt."

She could hear him breathing on the other end. "I broke some bones." He said finally. "It looks worse than it is."

Sakura bit her lip. "Alright. I'm leaving my house now so I'm going to hang up. Ok?"

"Yeah."

"See you soon Gaara."

* * *

"Right. Bye."

"I don't need your help getting out of the car." Gaara said pushing her away.

"Yes you do." Sakura heaved a sigh. "Your arm is broken."

"Yeah well, so is my nose but I don't need your help smelling. My ribs are cracked but I don't need your help breathing."

"Those are just other fantastic reasons as to why you should stop being such a crotchety old lady and just let me help you." His stubbornness was far from amusing.

"No." he said gruffly. "I'm fine."

So Sakura was forced to stand back and watch his discomfort as he stiffly walked up the path to her front door. She didn't need anyone to tell her that he must have been in a great amount of pain.

It was obvious to her that he had been in a fight, his pants were filthy and his black dress shirt was torn in several places. From the looks of it, he had not been the victor. Gaara had refused to tell her why he was in the city to begin with, or who the fight had been with. He had been evasive with every question she had asked. She drilled him for the entire car ride back and learned absolutely nothing. Gaara was exasperating.

He wouldn't let her help him inside and since she didn't think she could bear to watch him brave the stairs she told him to stay put in the living room while she went upstairs and grabbed a few things. When she returned with an arm full of blankets and pillows she found him laying on the floor with his eyes closed. She dropped everything in her hands.

"Calm down, I'm not dead." He said, without opening his eyes.

"Isn't the floor cold?" She was trying not to get frustrated with him. He was like a giant baby.

"Let me guess, you've got blankets." The corners of that bastard's mouth were just the slighted bit upturned.

"Yes but they're all for me." Sakura sloppily wrapped them around her shoulders and torso. "You don't get any, get used to the cold hard floor, buddy."

"Just fine by me." His smile grew. "I wouldn't want you to be cold on my account."

"Why are you smiling?" she demanded. "You're supposed to be sad, sniveling and in pain."

"I _am_ in pain. It hurts to breathe." He stopped smiling and opened his eyes. "Will you get me one of those pills the doctor gave you?"

"You already took some medicine when you were in the car. If you take too much narcotics on an empty stomach you'll throw up." Sakura sat down beside him and put a cool hand on his forehead. She gently smoothed his hair away from his face. "You are such a mess."

"I did try to warn you…"

"Oh shut up and let me pamper you alright? I'm going to make a really big deal out of fluffing your pillows and getting you ice packs. If that's going to be a problem then you should have never called me."

"You're crazy." Gaara said. "I don't think you realize how crazy you are."

"Lift your head." She stuffed a pillow under his neck. "You keep saying crazy like it's a bad thing." She laid out her blue comforter on top of him making sure his toes were covered. "Besides, since when did any of that matter to you."

His shrug was immediately followed by the sound of him wincing. Sakura put another blanket on top of him. "You know, I really wish you had waited until I put the mat down for you to sleep on before you decided to lay down. It would have been more comfortable for you."

"I think I'll manage." He said giving her one of those looks. "Are you sleeping down here too?"

"I was planning on it…"

"It's a waste, there is no reason for you to sleep on the floor down here too."

"But what if you need something and are in too much pain to get up and get it yourself?" Sakura said hugging her knees. "What if you stop breathing in the middle of the night and I'm not down here to call 911?"

Gaara rolled his eyes. "None of that is going to happen, you don't have to baby-sit me.

"But I like sleeping next to you." She said in a small voice. "Besides, the doctor said to wait up with you to make sure you don't have a concussion."

"It's been hours, I don't have a concussion." He scowled. "I also don't see what the big deal about sleeping next to me is. You're unconscious and I'm unconscious… nothing is happening."

Sakura lay down next to him and he shifted so their faces were aligned and their knees were touching. Gaara looked at her from behind half lidded eyes. She wondered how painful it must be for him to sit like that putting weight on that cracked rib.

"Think about this for once." He said. "You're better off upstairs sleeping in a bed."

"I hope your nose doesn't heal crookedly." Sakura said, ignoring him completely. "Some guys can pull off that whole crooked nose – rugged man look, but I don't think you're one of them." She wondered if he cared at all about vanity. He wore eyeliner occasionally but that seemed to be the extent of his image consciousness. Sakura blew on his face softly.

"Stop." He said and kicked her lightly. "If you're not going to listen to me at least be quiet. You are starting to piss me off." Gaara said rolling over onto his back.

His tone pinched a nerve and his attitude enraged her. "_I'm_ starting to piss _you_ off? Seriously?" Sakura sat up and glared at him. "I'm sorry but were you under the impression that I'm _not_ pissed at you? I waited for your for hours and then I get this phone call asking me to pick you up at a _hospital_ and in the end you don't even have the decency to explain what the fuck happened. Then you think you can boss me around? Guess what Gaara, frown all you want, but you're in no condition to give me commands."

"I don't mean to-" he stopped and rubbed eyes again. "I'm sorry… I'm just a little tired. I'm not trying to boss you around."

Sakura sighed. "I know that." She went back to petting his head, gently running her fingers through his hair and lightly scratching his scalp. " And don't worry, I'd still like you if you had a crooked nose." She was marveling at how soft his hair was. "And if it's that important to you I'll go upstairs." He surprised her by nuzzling her arm, and he probably surprised himself too. Gaara was no relative of affection. "Sleepy?" She asked.

"Yeah." He yawned. "You can stay a little longer. Its not that I don't like your company, I just don't think you should have to make sacrifices for me, not even small ones. You're the kind of girl who, at this time of night, belongs asleep in a bed."

"You've got all the crazy ideas about the type of girl I'm supposed to be. You let me worry about that, I'm really good at worrying, and you just concentrate on feeling better."

"Just so you know, worrying is pointless. What's happened already happened, and you can't predict the future."

"I know that. Can't you just be happy that I'm thinking about you?"

"You think about me?"

"Obviously, don't you think about me?"

"I guess…"

It was quiet again. Sakura could tell Gaara was beginning to fall asleep. So much for being an insomniac.

"I really care about you." Sakura put her free hand on top of his. "So do you understand why I freak out when I see you all beat up?"

"I'm doing my best to prevent you from seeing it. I don't want you to feel bad about something that isn't your fault." Gaara said firmly.

"Hiding it from me won't make me feel better. Fighting is a part of you; _I know that. _I hope that eventually you'll feel comfortable telling me what all this fighting is about. For right now though, just let me help. I'm really happy you called me,"

"I shouldn't have called you. I shouldn't even be here." He said suddenly. "This is wrong." He took his hand back from her and tried to use it to push himself off the floor. He struggled for a moment before falling backwards, yelping when he hit the ground.

"Fucking hell Gaara!" Sakura screamed. "Just stop it ok? You want to have nothing to do with me, I get it already. Just stop." She put her arms around his back and gradually helped him to sit up so he was leaning against her chest all the while careful that she didn't put pressure on his broken rib. They stayed that way for a few moments before Sakura decided to speak again. "You're really injured this time, its not just ugly bruises. You have to take care of yourself."

"You don't understand at all." He said, his tone deadly serious. "You don't understand Sakura, _I'm in love with you_."

For the second time in one night he stopped her heart. "W-what did you just say?" she asked because needing to hear him say it once more.

"I'm in love with you. Everyone knows about it." He repeated. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it would happen and I'm trying to stop but I can't."

He was in love with her, _in love with her_. All he did was push her away and only to drop that on her. Did he have any idea as to how confusing he was? She didn't know how to react. She was thrilled to hear that his feelings for her were that deep. It turned her insides to mush. But at the same time… And why was he apologizing? Was being in love with her all that terrible of a thing?

What about her own feelings for him? Was she in love with him? Probably. Did that scare her? Not at all, actually it was comforting. It was nice to have a relationship that was growing, not deteriorating. It felt good to feel good about another person. How was that a problem?

"What does that mean, _everyone knows about it_?" Sakura asked trying to wrap her head around all of it.

"My father, Sasuke, Temari, they all know now. I've gotten us into a lot of trouble." His voice conveyed both his guilt and shame. "I don't deserve your kindness."

Sakura kissed his shoulder. "That's a load of crap. I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, not the other way around." She scooted back and maneuvered herself so it was his head that was resting in her lap. It was more comfortable this way. She kissed his forehead. "Stop giving me heart attacks and start telling me what those three losers have to do with all of this. Are they the ones who did this to you?" Some how she couldn't picture the three of them ganging up on him together.

"No it was just Sasuke, he snuck up on me behind the restaurant."

She didn't understand what restaurant he was talking about. "Start from the beginning. Why were you downtown anyways?"

"My father is planning on running for Senator." He said, sounding less than thrilled about the idea. Sakura could understand why.

"Senator? That's awful! What makes him think anyone will vote for him?" She asked. "He's just a small town mayor."

"My Grandfather was a senator for a long time after he was done being mayor, and he was very well liked on the hill. He was also a giant jackass."

Sakura giggled and below her Gaara smiled weakly. "So your pops is running for senate…what has that got to do with my scummy ex boyfriend?"

"The Uchihas are bankrolling him. It seems that big oil wants another senate seat." He explained.

"Go figure…" she snorted.

"So all of us get dragged out to some fancy restaurant. We sit down to eat and my father and Mr. Uchiha are going on and on about money and power while Temari talks to Mrs. Uchiha and Kankuro looks down her dress."

"Sounds like fun."

"Things settle down and my father asks Sasuke how school and football are going for him."

"Let me guess." Sakura cut in. "He spouts an hour long monologue about his own greatness?"

"No he says, 'Good Mr. Mayor, but things would really be better if your son wasn't fucking my girlfriend.'"

"You're kidding!" she said in disbelief. "Did he really say that?" She finally understood why things were shaping up the way they were. Sasuke Uchiha was a walking and talking pile of garbage.

"It was kind of funny at first because my father turned and began to yell at Kankuro. It wasn't until Sasuke specified which son it was that was having sex with his 'girlfriend' that things started to take a turn for the worst." Gaara sighed. "It made me angry to hear him talk about you like you were some that belonged to him. But I couldn't do anything about it, not in front of my father at least."

"Then what happened?" Sakura asked tentatively.

"He had me thrown me out of the restaurant. I was out back deciding on how the best way to get home would be…Sasuke came out of nowhere. He shocked me, that's what gave him the upper hand. The next thing I know, I'm on the ground have the shit kicked out of me by him."

Sakura kissed his head again. "It's my fault then. Sasuke is my problem not yours."

"No. I'm the one who attacked him at school. I'm the one he thinks stole his girlfriend."

"_What?_"

"Yeah, according to him we've been together since the beginning of October."

"That's crazy!" Sakura exclaimed. "Back then we hated each other."

"I didn't hate you, I just hated everything about you."

"Well thanks for that. I wasn't thrilled about working with you either." She laughed. "But I'm glad we were paired together. I don't think I would be able to get through all of this without you. I wish I would have realized sooner how much I really liked you."

"Why so we could have shot ourselves in the feet sooner?" Gaara was obviously still hung up on the whole 'being physically assaulted by the football hero' business. That and the fact that his dad finally knew about them.

"How bad is this looking for us? Slash how can I make things better?" Sakura was terrified he was going to use this as an excuse to break up with her. He can throw around the L word as much as he wanted but that didn't change the fact that he always seemed ready to cut ties with her for good.

"I don't know how bad it is so I also don't know how to make it better. I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Well do you think we should end things?" she baited him.

He shifted under her. "Its too late for that. How many times are you going to make me say it?"

"You know what I just realized, Gaara Sabaku?" She said, flashing a sneaky smile.

"That you're never going to let me go to sleep?"

"No, I've realized that you are going to need help taking a bath."

"Hmm." He smirked. "I wonder who I can get to help me with that."

* * *

**So originally when I planned this chapter I was like HEY I'll give them a weekend alone so they can do a sex thing. Then I started writing and was like Hmmmmm I don't think that fits right now and it didn't flow. SO hey you get this compensation chapter for free! Fear not though, there will be hott stuff in later chapters... so keep reading. :)**

**And of course... THANKS A LOT ! to the REVIEWERS! the reviews are so much fun and inspirational. so leave em' so I can love em'.  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**Happy Tuesday night everyone... I hope the weather is delightful wherever you may be. My window thermometer indicates that it is just above freezing. Interesting eh? I also hope you all had happy valentine's days. Not to brag or anything but ....A male friend who I used to think was a giant JACKASS took me to dinner and insisted on paying AND didn't expect intercourse in return. It put me in a really good mood and I got to writing about how cute couples can be which will be evident in this chapter. Well now that I've given you something to look forward to...**

**I Do Not Own Naruto.  
**

* * *

"Your numerous injuries are really putting a damper on our sex life."

"Excuse me?" Gaara said, choking on his orange juice.

"Oh its nothing." Sakura said flippantly. "I was just thinking about all the things we could have done if you had kept yourself out of trouble."

He glared at her. "He_ snuck up on me_. Its not like I asked him to attack me."

"But you did provoke him. Remember the beat down you gave him at school?" She got up to clear the breakfast plates off the table. "This whole thing was just his way of getting revenge on you for embarrassing him." She began loading the dishes into the washer. "You should have stayed away from him."

"You didn't hear the things he was saying about you."

Sasuke was talking trash about her? Well that was no surprise. "I'm just saying…you should really do more thinking about the consequences of your actions."

"Whose side are you on anyways?" he asked bitterly.

"Yours of course." She said coming up behind him and putting her arms around him. "Thank you for defending my honor, Gaara Sabaku." She whispered in his ear.

"Oh, go away." He said, shooing her away with his good arm.

Sakura just laughed. "You don't really mean that."

"Yes I do."

"No. You say stuff like that but you don't mean it." She went back to clearing the table and putting things away. "See, now that I've got you trapped here and you can't run away, I get to hug and kiss you all I want."

"Well aren't you the tyrant." He said with sarcasm. " Just keep in mind that I'm _injured._"

"Speaking of which, here," she handed him a little pill and a glass of water, "take this and remind me in six hours to give you another one."

"Why not just give me the bottle? Do you not trust me with my own meds? What makes you think I need you to play nurse with me?" He asked, staring at the pill in his hand.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "I just thought you might have trouble opening the bottle with your broken arm. I know you have a drug problem but you don't have a _drug problem_."

"Right." He said, looking skeptical at best. "You're just a control freak."

"I'm a _what_?" Sakura demanded indignantly.

Gaara swallowed the pill and downed his water. He was conveniently unable to explain what his words meant.

"Choke on it, Gaara." But she knew he was right. Ah, sweet control. She really did love it.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Can I have a cigarette now?" he smiled devilishly. It sent the butterflies in her stomach into a fluttering frenzy; she almost forgot that he was asking her to facilitate his nicotine addiction. "They're next to my boots."

"I don't want to be an enabler, but…" Sakura reached down and drew a cigarette out of the pack of Marlboros on the floor. She then walked back over to him and carefully placed the stick between his waiting lips. He stared at her expectantly. That's right, he needed a light. She turned to the drawer next to the sink and rummaged for the lighter she and Tsunade used for scented candles.

She could feel him watching her, his gaze warming everything it touched. He was making her nervous.

"This reminds me of that time in the library." She said when she finally got her hands on that lighter. "You made me so mad that day. You drove me crazy."

Gaara took the cigarette out of his mouth, but his eyes were still fixed on her. "That's because you _were_ crazy. For weeks you would come in and completely unload on me, it was _hilarious_. Sakura Haruno, everyone's fairytale princess, had completely lost it, over _Sasuke_ _Uchiha_. But then, you just died on me, you were pathetic."

"I wasn't that bad." She said, getting a little defensive. Sakura had been with Sasuke for a really long time, naturally the break up between them would be messy and naturally Sakura had been a little distraught.

"No, you were that bad. Maybe even a little worse." He put the stick back in his mouth and nodded it between his teeth.

Sakura sighed and bent down to light his cigarette. "You're going to make this entire house smell like smoke. I'm an idiot for letting you do this."

It scared her actually, what she was willing to do for him

She stood their watching him smoke and she thought about all the things they needed to figure out in order to make things work between them. Right now his father was ringing in as numero uno.

"Are you just going to stand there staring at me?" Gaara asked. It was funny coming from him since, for the last fifteen minutes he had been checking her out like she was the main course. All he did was stare at her.

"I'm shaming you. Smoking is bad." He was using a tea saucer as an ashtray.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," Sakura scratched her head, "you've got like…an oral fixation."

"An oral fixation? Do you even know what that means?" He began looking around for someplace to discard the cigarette butt. He nudged her out of the way with his bandaged arm. "Where should I…?"

"Here." She handed him the trash bin that lived on the floor next to the counter. "Doesn't it hurt to use that arm?"

"It's not that bad." He reached out to her with it. She let him take her hand but as he pulled her down so their faces were at level she pushed him away before he could get much closer.

"I told you, I'm not kissing you if you taste like smoke." Irritated, she took her hand back.

"Fine then." Gaara sounded equally annoyed. He put his hands on her hips and pulled them closer.

Sakura felt her breathing begin to quicken. The kitchen suddenly felt too still and too quiet. She swallowed. "What are you doing?" she whispered. "You're going to hurt your nose."

He slowly pulled up the hem of her shirt, just a peek. "You have the softest skin." He said as if he had just discovered some great secret. "I've never felt anything like it." He leaned in close and she could feel his hot breath tickling her. "Are you even real?" He gently kissed the junction where her torso met her hip. "Sometimes I don't even think you're real."

Sakura was too stunned to move. How did he do that? How did he make an ordinary conversation about one of his numerous unhealthy habits into some heavy breathing? He rarely touched her, but when he did, the effects were uncanny. "You're a bit unreal yourself."

He smiled slightly and let go of her hips. "Have you given any thought to our situation?" He stood up and walked his glass over to the sink leaving her a bit dazed behind him. It was like turning on and off a switch with him.

"Uh yeah…" she said, shaking herself out of it. "I was thinking about it earlier. I've decided that I need to talk to Tsunade. We've been on the outs lately, but I really think she can help us."

Gaara looked unsure "You're grandmother is smart and she's always been nice to me, but I don't think that means she wants you involved with me."

"I think in the midst of all that's going on in my house, she won't even blink when I tell her." Sakura groaned. "Your father on the other hand…what are we going to do about him?"

"This senate thing might actually work in our favor. It wouldn't look good for him to have a kid locked up in a mental hospital if he's running for state office. It would also be bad for him if I were to mysteriously die or go missing. He's going to have to play nice for a while. I can probably even go home now."

"You want to go home?"

"Eventually." He gave her a look. "I can't stay here forever."

Well of course she knew that. She wasn't expecting him to stay forever; she just hadn't given much thought to the prospect of him going home. It just seemed ridiculous for him to go back to the people who allowed for him to get hurt so badly. It just wasn't right. "I know. I was just hoping you would wait until you were feeling a little better."

"That's what the pills are for." She must have looked a little put off because he sighed. "Now you don't have to hide anymore. We can do stuff together in public now. Doesn't that make you happy?"

She had forgotten about that. She wasn't just happy she was _thrilled_. It was like someone had opened a floodgate inside of her. They were going to be able to sit together in class, talk in the hallways, and walk home from school together! They would be able to see each other _whenever they wanted_! There would be no more lying or sneaking around, just good times for all. Yeah, good times…

"See, I knew that would make you smile." Gaara said with a smirk. "Your teachers are going to think you've lost your mind."

"They'll get over it. I think Guy will actually be pretty psyched, he's the one who brought us together." Sakura looked thoughtful. "I wonder what his intent was by doing that."

"I think you're giving him too much credit."

"Either way… I'm pretty satisfied with the way things turned out." She shook her head. "But if you had told me 3 months ago that all of this was going to happen…I wouldn't have believed you for a second."

"Hindsight is a funny thing." Gaara yawned. "This medicine always makes me tired."

Sakura smiled softy. "Narcotics will do that to you." She took his hand and gently tugged. "Let's take a morning nap."

"A morning nap? That's a waste." He stood up. "I should probably go home now."

"What? Why?" She tried not to sound disappointed he wasn't staying longer.

"I don't want to give anyone a reason to come looking for me here." Gaara said. "It wouldn't be good for either of us."

"Right." She sighed. "At least let me drive you."

* * *

Sakura could tell he wanted to protest, but like the smart boy he was, he kept his mouth shut.

"It's actually a nice place." Said Tsunade after she was finished putting her luggage away. "I went ahead and left a down payment."

"Right now I could care less about that. I'm just relieved to see you've returned alone." Sakura replied honestly. All she could think about was how nice it was to have things back to normal.

"This is only temporary, they'll be back in a couple of weeks once they've set some affairs in order."

"Or maybe she'll just leave me here. She's done it once before." But Sakura didn't think she would be that lucky again.

Tsunade frowned but didn't say anything. Sakura decided it was time to change the subject.

"I've been lying to you about something." She said, taking a seat on the living room sofa.

"I don't know that I like the sound of this." The older woman took the seat next to her granddaughter.

Sakura cleared her throat. "I'm not seeing Sasuke any more. He's not the boy I had in my room that night a month ago."

"I know." Tsunade said with a sigh. "Sakura people talk in this town. I know you've been sneaking around with Gaara Sabaku."

Wait, what? She knows what? "You've known this whole time? You've known this whole time and didn't think to tell me? This whole things has been really tough and confusing for me, I really could of used some guidance or something." Sakura said, her voicing rising. "I mean, Gaara and I…you said it yourself, we were sneaking around. It was next to impossible for us to find ways to see each other. If I had known you knew… it wouldn't have been so hard for us."

"You could have told me. If all those things you said are true, then you could have told me. Imagine how I felt when I had to hear about it from the ladies down at the corner store instead of from you. You could have told me."

Tsunade sounded generally hurt. Sakura felt the guilt creeping up like bile in her throat. It was so easy to forget her grandmother was dying.

"I'm sorry." Sakura said, truly meaning it. "Things have been pretty crazy lately. I guess I've been making mistakes."

"Well," she said, "its not too late. Tell me about your new boyfriend."

* * *

"You know, I'm surprised no one has said anything directly to us. I mean, they talk about us in front of us…why not just ask us about us?"

"You really get off on using the word 'us' don't you?" Gaara said as he bit into the sandwich she had brought him. It was lunchtime and they were sitting on the floor against the lockers in one of the deserted back hallways of the school. They had been able to eat lunch together everyday for two weeks and no one did anything to stop them.

"Yeah…" Sakura said thoughtfully. "I actually do…"

"You are so weird." Her boyfriend muttered under his breath.

"Shut up." She said, playfully smacking him in the arm. "You're even weirder than I am."

Gaara shrugged his shoulders and took another bite of his lunch.

Sakura smiled to herself. He was so cute when he didn't have anything to say.

When they were done eating they usually sat and did homework together. Sakura was proud that her influence was causing his grades to rise. His Ds were now Cs and his Cs were now Bs. She always knew he could be a good student if he tried a little harder.

He had been right about his father not killing him or sending him away. In fact, everyone in the Sabaku house had started to treat him half way decently since the mayor's political ambitions became more apparent. On the downside to all of that, Gaara had to sit through long dinner parties with his father's potential benefactors. Sakura knew it was a straining on his nerves and she wished there was something she could do to help.

"You know," she said watching him from the corners of her eyes, "I hear Sasuke tried provoking you in gym class today."

"Sasuke is an idiot." Gaara deadpanned.

"I know." She said. "But I also heard that you didn't fall for his crap. You didn't start a fight with him."

"Sasuke is an idiot." He repeated.

"Either way, you've made me happy." Sakura winded her arms around his neck and scooted closer to him. As she inhaled she took in long breaths of his sweet and spicy scent. It felt so good to sit this close to him.

"I've made you happy?" he asked in an amused tone of voice. His hands found the small of her back.

"_Very_ happy."

He nudged her closer to him so they were practically nose-to-nose. " So do I get a reward or something?"

Sakura giggled. "Or something…"

It was one of the few kisses they had shared recently. Gaara was always weird about initiating physical contact. Sometimes she could tell he was thinking about kissing her or putting his arm around her, but for some unknown reason, he never did. She was surprised that he had even hinted that he wanted to get close with her, that he wanted her to kiss him.

She was content to leave it a light kiss from her lips to his but Gaara had other plans. His was warm and eager, pushing past the seam of her lips and diving right in. Sakura responded by tightening her grip around his neck.

Gaara's tongue became bolder and the kiss turned aggressive. He pushed her down on top of her school bag and slid his arm up the thin tank top she wore under her sweater. Her skin heated where his fingers lingered and she felt herself flush. He closed his hand over her breast and not too gently rolled his thumb her nipple. Sakura closed her eyes and moaned as he kissed her more deeply and his hand touched her more dangerously.

It felt like hours later when he finally released her. Sakura was too light headed to think so she just leaned backward and sprawled out on the cold tile floor. Gaara followed her down and began nipping at her neck and allowed her too lie there under him, dazed and smiling. Who was rewarding who? Finally his lips came to a halt when they reached the side of her face. "Why aren't you wearing a bra?" He whispered in her ear.

And just like that she was brought back to reality. She and Gaara were getting busy in the middle of the hallway. Was she out of her mind? This was in no way the place for this kind of behavior! No matter how pleased she was with him for not fighting she was not going to risk getting caught in the act. It was just supposed to be one simple kiss. "I'm wearing an undershirt." She sat up and pushed him away from her.

"I wasn't complaining."

Sakura snorted. "Aren't you supposed to be injured?" she asked. "Shouldn't you be wearing your cast?"

"Maybe…" he said with a fair amount of disinterest. "I don't think it matters." He sat back down against the wall and pulled out his history book. "We should probably get back to studying."

He said all of this so casually that she almost forgot that just a moment ago he was on top of her feeling her up. This was so typical of him. "You're a really good kisser, Gaara Sabaku." She said while unzipping her backpack and rummaging through the contents, looking for her history notes.

"So I've been told."

* * *

Sakura had been dreading this encounter. She had been hoping and praying that it would be possible for her and Temari to live separate lives in their small town and never cross paths. It really is a shame you can't have everything you want in life.

"Are you here for your caffeine fix too?" Temari was smiling brightly all the while Sakura's mind was screaming _Fake! Fake! Fake! _

"Cut the crap Temari." Sakura leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. Temari must have somehow sensed how happy she and Gaara were and had taken it upon herself to try and squash them. Sakura was _not_ about to let that happen. "I know you didn't just come here to make small talk."

Temari's eyes narrowed but her smile didn't falter. "So this is what everyone has been talking about…"

Sakura stared at her. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well," the older girl took the seat across from Sakura, "people have just been commenting to me that my dear brother has apparently had an influence on you. I now see where they get that idea from."

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment." She wasn't actually a huge fan of Gaara's insensitive character but she was even less of a fan of Temari's snide one.

"You know, I was sure that after our last talk you would stop this nonsense you have got going on with my brother."

"Its not nonsense. He likes me, and I like him. We're for real." She made sure to look Temari in the eyes when she said those words.

"How touching…" Temari said, not bothering to hide her sarcasm.

God Gaara's sister was a bitch. Why couldn't she just take her cauldron and broom and go home? Why exactly was she so intent on ruining their happiness? It was bad enough that Gaara himself was next to impossible to get close to, why did Temari have to further subvert Sakura and his relationship progress. "Is that all you came here to say? No warnings this time? No _lies_?"

Temari's lips pursed and her face turned serious. "I have never lied to you Sakura, I didn't say anything that day that was not the truth. My brother is sick. My brother hurts people."

"He's just misunderstood. He's not-" Sakura tried reasoning.

"Misunderstood?" Temari interjected loudly. "Do you even listen to yourself? Haven't you seen first hand what kind of violence he is capable of? Maybe you think he can control it, but deep down you have to know he can't."

It was true that Sakura had seen Gaara pick a few fights, but he really _was_ getting better about that kind of thing. He hadn't been in a fight since Sasuke beat him up. She certainly never felt unsafe around him. After all, it wasn't his fault that his father was a violent son of a bitch and had only taught him pain.

"You know, I bet by now you've also had a peek into his drug life. I know the cigarettes are nothing but what about the marijuana and painkillers? Those things are _illegal_. It doesn't matter what his reasons are for doing them, it is still against the law. He could be arrested and go to _jail_."

So Gaara smoked… It really wasn't that big of a deal. Lots of people did drugs. It didn't make him a bad person. Everyone has his or her vices. Hell her beloved grandmother was drinking herself into the grave. Substance abuse had nothing to do with character. Temari was just pulling things from her ass.

But she continued. "He is a bad guy. He doesn't give a shit about anything other than himself. The only things that bring him joy are breaking the law and hurting people."

Underneath his bad boy exterior Gaara was just a lonely and abused little boy looking for some warmth. Just because he threw punches, didn't mean he didn't also give kisses.

"Stop romanticizing him!" Temari shouted, drawing the attention of the entire coffee house and causing Sakura to jump in her seat.

She was shaken by the older girl's outburst. Temari's face was red and blotchy; tears filled her bright blue eyes. This was not that conniving snake Sakura had been expecting. No, this Temari was far too emotional and seemingly sincere. There was no way she was this good of an actress.

"You really hate him, don't you?" Sakura whispered. It was so silent in the coffee house you could hear a pin drop.

Temari swallowed. "I told you before, I'm not going to lie to you. Not a day has gone by that I haven't wished Gaara had never been born."

"How can you say that?" Sakura demanded, her voice rising. "How can you say that about your own brother?!" She had to keep telling herself that Temari was just a hateful person and that every word coming out of her mouth was an underhanded attempt to separate them.

"I'm trying to tell you about what kind of person he is." Temari put her hand on her forehead and took a deep breath. "It's like he's got you under a spell or something…"

A spell? What the hell did she mean by that?

"You've only known him for a couple of months." Gaara's sister said. "I've known him for his entire life. To you he may seem like he is just a little rough around the edges, but that means you've only seen his good side. He _likes_ being violent. He will _never_ stop fighting. He gets pleasure from hurting people." She shook her head. "He picks fights with my father, the mayor doesn't go after him unprovoked. He's attacked Kankuro," Temari pulled up the sleeve of her shirt, "He gave me this scar when I was fifteen and I made the mistake of stepping on one of his stupid journals. He _looks_ for reasons to break out into physical violence. It's in his nature."

Sakura shook her head frantically. A lump was forming in her throat. "You're wrong." Gaara wasn't bad. Gaara wasn't synonymous with violence. He didn't mean to hurt those people; it was just a bad situation. Gaara was good. _Gaara was good_.

"Do you know how that church fire started?" Temari asked. She wiped away her tears and a funny look crossed her face. "It wasn't because he was burning leaves."

"Stop this." The pink hair girl pleaded. "You're making this up." Her ears were ringing and her hands were shaking. Temari was a liar! What the hell was with this church fire everyone was so damn fixated on? Temari needed to stop lying.

"If you let him…he will hurt you too. He will hurt you and he will leave you. You're just a toy to him. You understand that don't you? You're a toy and when he is done playing with you he will break you, because that is his favorite part."

That wasn't true. That couldn't be the truth. They were together for a reason. They were together because they had feelings for each other. Gaara wasn't the most attentive or affectionate boyfriend but that didn't mean she was his toy. "He loves me!" Sakura shouted back defiantly. She was scrounging for what was left of her resolve. "He is in love with me."

Temari had the gall to look sympathetic. "Saying it and meaning it are two separate things. Gaara is a monster. He doesn't know what love is."

Sakura glared at her, jaw clenched and eyes blazing. Temari was the real monster. How was it she could sit across from Sakura and say such hateful things about Gaara? Bile rose in her throat. "Get away from me."

"You know I hoped you could at least be smart about this. '_He loves me_'" she mimicked. "Are you really that big of a fool? Are you one of those weak willed girls who trusts a boy just because he claims to love her? Come on, Sakura!"

Was that true? Sakura thought furiously. Did she believe that Gaara loved her because he really did love her or because she wished that he did? "Get…The hell… Away from me." She said while trying to keep herself from physically throwing the other girl out the door.

Temari stood up. "Sooner or later you're going to come to your senses."

"You're full of crap."

"And you're going to wish you had listened to me while you still could."

The way that she said it… Sakura could tell that there was more to those words. Temari was hinting at something. "What are you planning?" she asked dangerously.

"Its not me you should be worrying about."

"The mayor?" Sakura guessed.

"No… Gaara."

The pink haired girl sighed impatiently. "Do I have to spell it out for you? I trust him ok?"

"Well then you should already know."

Sakura raised her eyebrows expectantly. Just where was Temari going with all of this? It was nothing more than a last ditch attempt at tearing her down. Nothing she could possibly say could have any such effect on the pink haired girl. Sakura was going to forget everything the witch was saying and never think of it again.

"Gaara hasn't been taking his medicine." Temari snatched her purse up off the floor. "If you thought he was crazy before... hold on to your fucking hat."  


* * *

**I tried not to make it painfully obvious but the part where Temari is all talking about the spell was a tie back to when Sakura accused johnny of the same thing. Johnny and Sakura's mom are kind of a foil for Sakura and Gaara. I'm pretty pathetic when it comes to this kind of technique, but every chapter I try to sneak in these sort of things or some foreshadowing... just something to make me feel like I'm not butchering the realm of fiction.  
**

**THANKS SO MUCH for the reviews! I really cannot believe my humble little tale has gotten so many reviews. It makes me sparkle with joy much like the shiny bald spot on Mr. Clean's head. Gosh I am such the poet. **

**Leave me some love? Cuz I sure do love you!  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**Well another chapter is here. So uh, read it. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

He was coming over for dinner. Tsunade was having a 'ladies night out' with Kushina and Shizune and didn't expect to be back until the wee hours of the morning. Gaara was coming over, and he had promised this time there would be no emergency phone calls or injuries. It was just going to be Sakura, Gaara, and a simple dinner.

But cheese wasn't the only thing she was going to be grilling. This night wasn't going to be about cute couple activities or quiet candlelight kisses. No, this night was going to be dedicated to questions and answers. There were certain things she had to know.

Temari had achieved her goal. Sakura wouldn't admit it out loud, but she was thoroughly spooked. She had fallen for Gaara hard and she had fallen fast. She was vulnerable and he was in the perfect position to hurt her greatly. She was beginning to really trust him, really depend on him. She didn't know how it had happened so quickly but without her knowledge she had begun loving him too.

She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him she loved him. But before she could do that she needed to be sure of him.

Gaara wasn't the kindest boyfriend. He wasn't the sweetest or the most affectionate boyfriend either, and boy was he moody. She had been shocked when he confessed being in love with her. Sometimes he acted as if he didn't even like her. There were times when he was so cold to her she wondered why he spent any time with her at all.

And then there were times when he was unbearably kind to her she had to ask herself what she had done to deserve someone so wonderful. He made her feel special; like she was the only person in the world he cared about, the only person worth his time. When he warm he was hot. She wanted so badly to be close to him, to revel in him. She wanted to open up her skin and invite him inside. He was her anchor to this world.

She wouldn't dream of ever leaving him. Even if it turned out that he wasn't what he seemed or even if it turned out that he was exactly what he seemed. It could all just be one gigantic mistake He could leave her for another girl. He could break her heart. It still wouldn't matter. She would care about him until the day she died.

She showered carefully but put little thought in dressing. Her make up and hair dryer were left untouched on the bathroom vanity. She didn't feel the need to get all dolled up for him. She wasn't going to seduce him. She doubted that there was going to be any physical contact. Sakura just wasn't in the mood. Tonight was serious.

When the doorbell finally rang Sakura wasn't waiting on the steps for him. She had been in the bathroom practicing what she wanted to say to him in front of the mirror. She wanted to be ready for him, and she needed to be confident. These were things she deserved to know from him.

He was waiting for her on the doorstep. She could feel his presence on the other side of the door. When she finally opened it she felt the air whoosh out of her lungs. Gaara stood standing with a small smile on his face and a box in his hands.

His hair was wet, suggesting that he had just had a shower. His cheeks were pink from the bracing February cold and, she couldn't believe her eyes, he was wearing a dark green cable knit sweater and slightly scuffed blue jeans. He was wearing colors.

"Hey." She said quietly trying to get a hold of herself.

"Hey." He replied, stepping inside.

Sakura couldn't resist reaching up to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek. She could smell the fresh scent of shampoo and she felt her legs turn to jelly. He reached out an arm to help steady her. She could tell by the look of confusion in his eyes that he had no idea what he was doing to her. It was probably better this way.

"What's in the box?" she asked curiously trying to peer over the rim.

His smiled widened. Sakura felt her heart skip a beat.

"It's a present for you," he said and handed it to her.

A present? He had gotten her a present. Sakura couldn't wait to see what Gaara would possibly bring her and call it a gift. Was it books? Their English project? Stuffed animals? Chocolate. Finally she told herself enough with the guessing and she had a look.

Inside the box were an old black record player and a generous collection of various colorful albums. Sakura couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Wow Gaara…" she said, finding it difficult to breath again. "This is…wow…" She was speechless. He has brought her a present. He had gone out of his way to make her happy.

He shook his head. "Its nothing really." But she could tell he was pleased with her reaction.

Suddenly her information-gathering mission wasn't so important.

"Let's go up to my room and plug it in. I'm excited. I want to listen to these right away."

She couldn't believe that he had remembered. It was months ago that she had mentioned her interest in vintage records. It had been on their very first date. God that felt like it was centuries ago. The boy ushering her up the stairs with his hand on the small of her back was hardly the same boy who stood next to her before careful not to touch at any costs.

Actually, wasn't it just a week ago when he more than a little reluctant to hold her hand in the hallways? She was too distracted by the way he held her close as he led her to her bedroom to care about his not too subtle change in character. All that mattered was that he was Gaara and that he was with her.

"I knew when I saw them under a pile of old newspapers that I had to bring them to you." He said in her ear. "I'm sorry I didn't wrap them."

"No." Sakura said. She sat on the floor next to a free outlet and motioned for him to do the same. "The fact that you brought them means enough to me. Thank you."

"I wanted to give you something. You gave me music, it was only fair that I give some back to you." He sat down next to her.

He was close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off his body and smell his clean scent. He hadn't smoked a cigarette in a while, Sakura mused.

"No really, this is much better than an ipod." She couldn't resist giving him another peck on the cheek. He had made her so happy.

"Let's listen to this one first." He stripped a record from its cardboard cover and handed it to her.

"Bob Dylan." She read the label out loud. Her face broke out into a wide smile. "Nice choice Gaara Sabaku."

Soon Dylan's sandpaper voice and strumming guitar filled the room. Sakura felt herself begin to relax. "I think I was born in the wrong generation."

"You're kidding me right?" Gaara laughed. "You're wound way too tightly to be a flower child."

"I think I could have done the civil rights battles. I love to get angry on the behalf of others."

"Yeah I guess I could see that..." He said thoughtfully.

"I'm pretty open minded." She added.

Gaara reached over her and adjusted the needle on the record player effectively changing the song.

Why was he suddenly so comfortable around her? When did this happen?

"What's with this change?" she asked him. "You're wearing colors? I didn't think you owned anything that wasn't black."

"I don't know…" He shrugged. "I guess I just felt like wearing colors. I thought you might like it."

"I do like it." Sakura assured him. She smoothed out the sleeves of his sweater and felt the strong arms underneath the thick fabric. "But I like your black clothes too."

He flashed her a smile that made her spine tingle and heart flutter. "These are actually hand-me-downs from Kankuro."

"Your brother? Is he evil like Temari?"

"Evil Temari? Why bring her up? Did she do something to you?"

This was her chance. This was her golden opportunity to ask him everything she needed to know, about his feelings, his intention, his past, and his medicine. This was her in.

"Its nothing." She shook her head. "I just know she is terrible to you."

She could ask him about those things later. There was no rush, he wasn't going anywhere, and they had all night.

"Well, Kankuro isn't really that bad. I guess we fight sometimes, but he usually just ignores me."

"Yeah… he doesn't sound so bad."

"Mmmm." He took her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers.

Conversation died down and they sat quietly listening to record after record. Sakura would squeeze his hand if she liked a song and he would squeeze back if he agreed. They listened to everything from The Beatles to The Clash, and from James Brown to Bruce Springsteen. Gaara seemed to have an affinity for acoustic sounds while Sakura preferred the whole band effect. Finally they came to the bottom of the box and the oldest record in the collection.

"This thing must be ancient." Sakura sniffed the record she held in her hands. "It sure smells old."

"Well there's no case for that one. What's the label say?"

"It's faded… I guess we'll just have to listen to it and find out."

Sakura was eager to hear what was on the mysterious record. Tsunade said that Sakura's mom and Gaara's mom had been friends. Knowing this, she could assume that whatever music Karura Sabaku listed to, was also the music her mother listened to. It was hard for her to imagine her mother being sixteen. A part of her wanted to know more about the woman who was supposed to have raised her.

The record was old, probably from the fifties. If she had to guess, Sakura would say it was most likely Frank Sinatra. He was the only person she could think of that was around and performing back then. Or maybe it was Marilyn Monroe, was she a fifties star? Elvis perhaps?

She placed the black vinyl on the spinning plate and dropped the needle, turned up the volume and waited for the music to start.

The record player emitted no sound.

"Well that was a let down." Sakura said.

"I'm sorry." Gaara reached over her again and tried to get the record to play. "Maybe you put it on wrong."

"I know I put it on right. I think the record must just be blank or broken or - "

Music began to play.

"See, I knew I could fix it." He was obviously very proud of himself.

Sakura poked his side. "Well if you're such a genius maybe you can clue me in on who exactly it is we're listening to. I don't recognize it at all."

It was a man's voice, raspy and raw. The melody was moody and broody. It was like no song Sakura had ever heard before; it was making her feel the need to stretch, making her itch.

"I don't know it either. It's unfamiliar but…" He ran a hand through his hair. "I feel like I've been listening to it my entire life. I don't know how to explain it."

She did know what he meant. Her head was buzzing. How did she let this happen?

"I'm starting to feel that way about a lot of things." He continued. "I'm restless. I'm waiting for something to happen."

"What is it that you're waiting for?"

"I don't know." Gaara smiled. "I guess that's the fun part."

Gaara? Fun? "You know I've never seen you smile so much…" Sakura crawled closer to him so she was sitting between his legs.

The red head shrugged. "I guess I'm just really happy."

Gaara? Happy? "You know I like your frowns too." She touched her fingers to his lips. "And I like that expression you get when you're angry." Which was the majority of the time.

He took her hand and kissed her palm. " Really? Well, you're easily the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I like all of your expressions."

Did he really just say that? Invasion of the body snatchers perhaps?

Sakura laughed nervously. "Thanks for the compliment. I didn't know you had it in you."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me."

Well wasn't that the truth.

The song changed, the new one was slower than the first, and it was somewhat of a more haunting tune. Once again the sound was completely foreign to Sakura. She couldn't even tell what decade it was from yet the sound ran through her like a soft breeze. The man was singing about the women he loved and the women he lost. She felt his sorrow as if he were in the room with them, singing before their eyes.

She took a sidelong glance at the boy sitting beside her. He confused her to no end. What was she supposed to think about his change in character? Where did it come from? Was this somehow the real Gaara who had been hiding behind the dark and sullen boy she had fallen in love with? Did this Gaara still love her in return?

Sakura moved the needle. She had heard enough of that song.

The next one was more like the first song but it had no lyrics. It was just the blend of instruments gradually getting louder and stronger before quieting back down again. It sounded like breathing. It sounded like a heart beating.

"Sakura, are you cold?" Gaara asked. "You've got Goosebumps."

No, she wasn't cold. She wasn't cold at all. "Actually I think it's a little warm in here." She started to stand up. "Maybe I should turn the heat down."

He caught her wrist and pulled her back down to the floor. "I think I've got a better idea."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he tugged at the bottom of her shirt, "you'll be much cooler with out this on."

Sakura knew where this was going and this time neither she nor he would try to stop it. She slowly and carefully pulled her shirt over the head and set it down next to her on the floor revealing the plain lilac colored bra she wore underneath. But this didn't cool her down at all, if anything the room felt even warmer.

"Your skin is _hot_." He said while he ran his hand down the length of her back, subtly unhooking her bra. "Maybe you have a fever." He touched his lips to her forehead.

"I don't think that's it." Sakura whispered. But her mind was starting to melt.

He gently pushed the straps off her shoulders and kissed the revealed skin. The pink haired girl shivered.

"You're cold now? I think I can fix that too." He put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer so their chests touched.

She didn't know if she was the one who leaned in first and started it, but the kisses that followed were like liquid fire. He kissed her lips, her neck, and her throat. He ran his tongue over her racing pulse and nipped at the delicate skin under her jaw. His hands glided over the slopes of her breasts and lingered over her nipples in a way that made her ache all over. "I've been dreaming of you, Sakura." He breathed in her ear.

She dug her fingers into his hair as he kissed and nibbled on her soft chest. She willed herself not to fall apart. "Then maybe, you should get me into bed." Sakura said between shallow breaths.

He brought his head back up to look her in the face. She saw something akin to hunger flash in his bright captivating eyes. He wanted her. She understood with just that one look how he felt about her. She knew he wanted her.

"Are you sure about this?" He kissed the hollow of her throat. "I don't want you to feel that you have to…"

"You think I do this with every boy that brings me a present? She teased.

Gaara didn't laugh. His face was serious as he stood up and pulled her to her feet. "Don't even joke about that. I go crazy when I think about anybody else touching you."

He kept his hands loosely held around her hips. Sakura held his face in her hands. She felt unsure of herself. Was it a problem that she had already been here with Sasuke? "You should know that you're the first boy I've ever wanted to do this with. I wish I had realized this a long time ago."

Their bodies molded together like hot wax. Gaara's hands were everywhere, holding her and stroking her with a degree of tenderness she didn't know he possessed. He took his time getting her undressed; he kissed every inch of her, from the top of her head to her tips of toes.

Sakura clung to him. She didn't know if either of them had a clue as to what they were doing but she suspected that if she wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist they would be able to figure it out.

Part of her mind was vaguely aware that the music had stopped and all that was audible was the sound of Gaara's labored breaths and her soft moans.

Something inside her was throbbing. He was touching her. His skin was slick with sweat creating a heat and friction that was driving her mad. They weren't close enough. He was _touching_ her but he wasn't _inside_ of her.

She pulled at his hair and brought his ear to her lips. "Just do it already." She pleaded, grinding herself against his hardened length. "_Please_."

"Condom?" he asked breathlessly.

Sakura could bring herself to think about anything other than the way his body felt on top of hers. "I don't have one." She herself begin to panic. "I don't have a condom…we can't…" Oh god, were things really coming to a halt? She hadn't known they were going to end up here. She wasn't prepared for this.

"Shit." He collapsed on top of her, his head between her breasts. "This isn't happening."

She wanted to be with him. She would give up everything in the world to be with him. They were so close…

"You can pull out. You can pull out and I'll take a pill tomorrow morning. It'll be fine, I promise. Just please, don't stop now, _please._"

He pushed himself up and loomed over her.

Sakura took in the sight of Gaara, naked Gaara, green-eyed Gaara, bruised Gaara, ravaging her with his eyes Gaara.

He gently smoothed her damp hair away from her face. "I love you." He mouthed to her.

Her chest felt like it was about to cave in. "I love you." She replied back.

Gaara captured her lips with his, immediately reawakened the raging storm.

And then he was inside of her. Sakura gasped. It felt… It felt… She didn't believe it was possible to feel this full.

_This is the closest two bodies can possibly be,_ she told herself. This was the closest she could get to Gaara. This was filling the void. This was finally close enough for her.

He started slow, too slow. She begged and she cried for him to go faster, faster and deeper. He was striking the match inside of her and she was desperate for the light.

He pushed her and he pushed her until she was at the very edge of it all, until finally he let her drop. She clutched his back, desperate to hold on to something, and she cried out his name while she fell.

When they were done she lead him over to the bathroom where he continued to make love to her under the shower until the water ran cold.

* * *

**GOD that was mushy gushy. I have a feeling some of my readers are going to be really unhappy with this chapter. It was weird to write and I'm not totally satisfied with it either, but it serves its purposes. I wanted to give them a nice night before things really turn to shit for them. I guess thats a little preview as to whats to come. **

**I was planning on making this story twenty chapters and then having a sequel maybe. I guess we'll have to see. **

**THANKS GUYS to all the reviewers. The reviewers are the sparkle in my eye. and I can't thank them enough. **

**And just in case you didn't get the little hints. If this chapter was 'mood' the next chapter is 'swing!' Which will explain the OoC ness.  
**


	18. Chapter 18

**Here is another chapter I found. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

Sex. _Sex_, sex. _Sex with Gaara_, sex.

Why the hell didn't they start doing that sooner? If that's what sex was supposed to be then what the hell had she been doing with Sasuke? There was just no comparison.

When they finally grew tired of exploring each other's bodies, Sakura and Gaara napped in each other's arms. It was nice.

But it was weird. It was really, really weird.

Gaara was all smiles and laughter. He was more optimistic and had more energy then Sakura would have ever believed possibly. Gaara was warm and he was affectionate. He seemed happy. Everything he said and everything he did was just so _happy_. He was like sunshine, daisies, sweet dreams, and ice cream all rolled into one skinny red haired teenager.

It's not that she wanted him to be a _complete_ asshole. But the two of them, getting swept away in lovey dovey nonsense, it wasn't what she wanted. It was like he was some whole other person. It wasn't natural.

She couldn't believe she had slept with the sugary sweet Gaara. What would it have been like to spend the night with normal Gaara? She imagined it would be more fumbling and that Gaara would have cold hands. How did she end up having the ultimate romantic night with the boy who was as prickly as a porcupine?

How long was it going to last? Was Gaara 2.0 here to stay? What if she didn't want this new Gaara, what if she liked the old gloomy Gaara better? All of the things about him that normal girls would have a problem with, like his bad attitude or his frigidity or his ever apparent social problems, Sakura found truly endearing. Was it wrong if she liked him better awkward and grumbling then confident and joyful? It was ok that nothing came easy for them because when they did get it, it was all the sweeter. Only now, it was a little too sweet.

By the time Tsunade came home, around three or four in the morning, Gaara was long gone and Sakura was sleeping alone. To her dismay, Sakura didn't know any more about her mysterious boyfriend then she did before he came over. If anything, she had even more questions. He confused her to no end.

It was Monday at lunch and she hadn't seen him since that night. It was a good thing too, because she really needed sometime to think things through and cool off. She still didn't know whether or not she would be able to look at his face without thinking about all the things he had done to her naked body. It was going to be difficult.

Usually he got to their lunch spot shortly after the bell rang. Never before did she have to wait for him any longer then a few minutes.

Lunch was almost halfway over and he still hadn't shown.

Was this because what had happened between them? Did she do something wrong that night. She thought he had left pretty satisfied…

_Oh god_, she had a terrible thought. What if he wasn't there because he was through with her? He wasn't there because he had gotten what he wanted from her and now he was moving on. What if Temari had been right? What if he was just using her? He was throwing her away! Sakura started to feel her non fat lemon yogurt make its way back up her throat.

"Sakura?" A familiar voice asked.

The pink haired girl's head snapped up. "Ino?" her faced darkened when she met the eyes of her former best friend. "What do _you_ want?

"I thought I might find you here." The blond took the seat next Sakura on the floor. "I haven't seen you around much lately."

"That's because we…" What exactly had happened between them.

"Broke up?" Ino suggested.

Sakura glared at her. "Yeah… _that_." She was irritated. Who did Ino think she was crawling back to Sakura like nothing had happened. Like they were still best friends.

"Look." Ino put up her hands in a defensive gesture. "Just hear me out. There is something I really need to tell you."

Oh _hell_ no. The last thing Sakura wanted or needed was someone telling her about some awful dark thing Gaara had said or done ten years ago. Ino could suck on it if she thought that Sakura was going to sit through another one of these lectures.

"Go away, Ino." Sakura said. "I'm really not in the mood for this shit right now."

"I'm sorry!" Ino blurted out. Sakura could hear the sincerity in her voice. "I'm really, really sorry. I'm apologizing to you for what happened between us."

Apologizing? Ok, _that_ Sakura could handle. "I'm listening." She said tentatively.

"I was wrong. I was wrong for betraying our friendship like that. I should have had your back. You're free to date whoever you want. I should have supported you no matter what." She took Sakura's hands in her own. "It wasn't fair of me to judge you or him. I shouldn't have tried to ruin your happiness."

Sakura softened. "You weren't intentionally trying to ruin my happiness. You were just worried about me. Either way though, you should have just trusted me."

"I know." Ino squeezed her hand. "You're a big girl and you can make decisions for yourself."

"Damn right I can!" She laughed. "Good ones and bad ones."

Ino smiled. "God, I missed this. I miss talking to you, I miss drinking coffee with you and passing notes in class."

Was Sakura really going to forgive her just like that? After all of those frosty months apart? "Well we're friends again now. You gave a good apology. I missed you too." She leaned in and gave her friend a hug. "But you're definitely going to have to grovel a bit. You know, buy me baked goods and give me pedicures."

"I think all that can be arranged. " Ino returned the embrace. "It's just really good to have you back."

"Yeah." She held her friend tight. She really needed a girlfriend to talk to. There was so much she needed to tell her.

"So we're good?" she asked Sakura's hair.

She let go of Ino and wiped her eyes. "We're good." She nodded.

"Ok." Ino took her hand again. "You know I would never do anything intentionally to hurt you."

"Yeah…" Sakura gave her a confused smile. Where was she going with this? "Yeah, I know that."

"It doesn't make me happy to have to say I told you so."

Sakura snatched her hand back. "I said I accepted your apology… What the hell is your problem?"

"Sakura…" Ino looked pained. "I don't mean… Its just…"

The pink haired girl rolled her eyes. "Just spit it out, Ino!"

"Three people were sent to the hospital last period, both Naruto and Sasuke included."

No. Not possible. Someone had hurt Naruto? "God…my god… Are you serious? Are they all right? What the hell happened?"

"You're boyfriend happened, _Gaara_ happened."

Gaara? Not Sakura's Gaara! There was no way he had been fighting again. "But I just saw him! He was with me this weekend and he was fine! He was better than fine…" Sakura took a sharp intake of breath. "This can't be right. This _cannot_ be right."

"It's the truth. Three people in the hospital and four people are here in the health room. He attacked seven people. _Seven_, he attacked _seven_ people."

"I don't understand…" Sakura put her face in her hands. "He's restrained himself from fighting Sasuke for a month!"

This wasn't happening. This _was not_ happening. There had to be some sort of mistake. Gaara was mellow now. Well, not _exactly_ mellow, he was more like a big ball of happy shining energy. But still, he had a perpetually good mood. People who feel that super inside don't attack a room full of people. He wouldn't do that to her. His relationship with Sakura was supposed to be worth more than that. It had to; she had given him everything she had to give. It had to be enough to keep him from fighting.

"Well he wasn't showing any kind of restraint today in the locker room. He was apparently _vicious_."

Sakura jumped to her feet. "I need to… I need to find him. I've got to talk to him and find out what happened. He wouldn't attack them unprovoked."

"Even if he was provoked…Sakura, there is no reason for him to react with violence." Ino stood up and put her hands on Sakura's shoulders to look her straight in the eyes. "He's got a serious problem."

"You don't know him like I do. I was with him this weekend and he was kinder and sweeter than any other boy I've ever met. He just wouldn't do something like this."

Please, please, please make this some sort of giant misunderstanding. Sakura felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't deal with this.

Ino cocked her head to the side. "I just don't know, Sakura. Everyone in the room just said he flipped out and started punching people, beating the crap out of everyone in a ten meter radius. His knuckles are bleeding and broken. It couldn't have been anyone else but him."

"No." Sakura shook her head frantically. "This is wrong. I have to go to him." She backed away from where she and Ino were standing and started off in the direction of the gym. She had to hurry, she had to find him!

"He was arrested." Ino called after her, stopping Sakura in her tracks. "He's not here anymore. They took him away."

Sakura turned back. "Arrested? What the hell was he arrested for?" she demanded.

"Assault." Ino stared at the ceiling obviously unable to look Sakura in the face. "Assault and possession."

"_Possession_?"

"They found coke in his locker."

Blood was pounding in Sakura's ears. This couldn't be real. "Please tell me you're talking about the soft drink."

"Sakura…"

"Damn." Sakura felt as if she had just been hit by a bus. She closed her eyes and let tears drip down her cheeks. "Damn. I can't believe that…oh damn."

He had screwed up. This was bad. _He_ was bad. How could he have done all that? Didn't he get that he was throwing away everything he had with her? She understood his beef with Sasuke, but what about the six other people? What made him think it was ok for him to do that?

And drugs? A little pot everyone in a while was not such a big deal, but cocaine? What in the world did he need cocaine for? Was that why he was in such a good mood, because he was drugged out? He hadn't acted like he was high off of drugs, but then again she really didn't know what a coke head looked like.

The blond put her arms around the crying girl. "Talk to me forehead, what's going on with you. Talk to me."

How did she let this happen? "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. What am I supposed to think now?" She was going into shock.

"It's ok." She ran a hand soothingly over Sakura back. "He's just a boy. There are plenty of other fish in the sea."

Fish in the sea? Just a boy? Ino really didn't understand. He was so much more then that. Sakura's heart felt sore and her head felt confused. She didn't even try to hold back her tears and she started to really cry, sobs wracked her body and she fisted her hands in Ino's sweater. How did she let this happen?

"It's alright, Sakura. We can fix this, I promise."

The pink haired girl just stood there and cried. There was nothing left to be done. Gaara had made those decisions himself.

"Let's get out of here. We'll get an early start on those cookies and pedicures. We don't have to stay here today. Let's go home."

Sakura nodded and sniffled but didn't say so much as a word.

She was numb all over and cookies and nail polish weren't going to be able to fix it.

* * *

"Are you sure you're in love with him? You've only been together for a couple of months."

Sakura wrapped her arms around her knees and hugged them close to her body. "It doesn't make sense to me either. I'm not the type of person to just fall in love like that. It turns out I'm really stupid when it comes to him."

"You're not stupid, you're just a girl. It's not your fault that you love him. You don't just wake up in the morning and decide to love somebody." Ino said wisely. "No one expects you to always make the right choices."

"I just don't get it how he can pull this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde crap on me. How did I not see this coming? Everyone warned me about this."

"Sakura…"

"And the sad thing is I still don't believe he's responsible for what happened. I keep thinking that by even suggesting he might be bad is a betrayal to my feelings."

"We can figure this out." Said a determined Ino. "Tell me about your relationship, from beginning to end."

Sakura took a deep breath. "I guess this all started when we were assigned to each other for Guy's English project." Gaara couldn't go to jail! She needed him to keep helping her with the project!

"And then what? Lots of flirting? Sexual tension?" Asked Ino.

"Hardly." Sakura smiled at the memory. "We fought like cats and dogs. Every hour we spent together was painful. He made me want to throw things at him."

"There was really nothing there? You went from hating him to liking him enough to split with your best friend?"

She thought for a moment. "I mean, I noticed right away how good looking he is. I just… I liked the attention he gave me. I liked how even when he was insulting me, I still had the power to make him nervous." Sakura laughed despite herself. "The first time we kissed was after Tsunade told me she was sick. He was freaked out because I was freaked out. God, he had no idea what he was doing. He told me once that he was shocked that what he did made me feel better. He only did it because he had seen it work in a movie."

"And you find this romantic?" Ino asked doubtfully.

"It was honest. He never pretended to be anything he wasn't. He did things that made him uncomfortable for my sake. Even if he wasn't nice about it, he was always looking out for me. You know, I actually had to convince him to go out with me. _I_ had to convince _him_"

Ino snickered. "What were dates like?"

"Cold." Sakura answered, thinking about their awful first date. "A lot of the time he was indifferent to me. Or he was wary. I think I made him really nervous." She paused. "But that didn't mean we didn't enjoy being together. He never really said or did anything in particular, but I knew that he liked having me around."

"He sounds delightful."

"If you think that's good then you should really meet his family."

"Any one family member in particular?"

"Temari Sabaku." The name tasted bitter in her mouth. "She's a nightmare. She's tried 'warning me' about Gaara twice. She's evil."

"Well I bet you wish you had listened to her now." Temari winced at the look of contempt Sakura gave her. "No offence."

"Temari said really mean things about him, hateful things. She told me that it was malicious violence. She told me that he _liked_ hurting people." Sakura shook her head. "But I don't think it's like that. I think he has a problem with control. I don't think he intentionally does the things he does."

"What about the drugs? Buying drugs isn't really something you do on impulse."

"That's the part I don't understand. Why drugs? Things were going really well for us. Why would he need drugs?"

"Well maybe it's not about you. What else did Temari say?"

Sakura sighed. "Stupid stuff like Gaara being a monster and that he's not taking his medicine, and that he's toying with me and that he doesn't love me. Stupid stuff."

"Gaara's being medicated? So you mean he really is crazy?"

"A yes on the medicated, and a no on the crazy. Lots of people take psychotropic drugs, it doesn't make them crazy."

"Well what's wrong with him? What's he taking?"

"I don't know. I never really worked up the nerve to ask him about it. It's not exactly a normal conversation topic."

"Didn't you think you had the right to know what you were getting into?"

"Maybe I didn't want to know." Sakura said quietly.

"This _really_ isn't like you."

"I just don't get it." She was exasperated. "He came over this weekend and he was an angel. I've never seen anything like it before. He was so sweet."

"Well forehead, if he's off his medicine than this makes a lot of sense."

"What do you mean?" What did one thing have to do with the other?

"Withdrawal. Withdrawal causes hallucinations, delusions, depression, mania… It's no joke. If Gaara was really not taking his medicine then that's serious business. From what you've said it sounds like he's been experiencing some pretty psychedelic stuff."

Sakura's mind was reeling. "You really think this is all chemical?"

"Increased energy, euphoria, irritability, poor judgment, drug abuse, aggression, increased sex drive… does any of this sound familiar to you?"

Uh yeah… that pretty much described Gaara as of recently. Did this mean Gaara had to be insane to have good sex? Did he have to be out of his mind to be happy? "Oh god, Ino, Gaara has completely lost it hasn't he?"

Ino gave her a sympathetic look. "At least it's not a personality thing. He's not really responsible for what he does when he's not thinking straight. It means he's not a bad guy."

Was he really not responsible? If it was a medication related slip up that made him attack those people then was it also a mistake to have slept with Sakura? Did that mean he didn't want to be with her in the first place? It was a little bit of a relief though, to find out that sweet talker Gaara and fists of fury Gaara weren't her Gaara, that he was whacked out Gaara instead.

The fact of the matter was though; this was something he had chosen to do. Gaara himself had chosen to stop taking his medicine. He had to know what would happen if he stopped taking the pills. He did this to himself. What the hell had he been thinking?

"What reason would he have to stop taking his medicine?" Sakura chewed on her bottom lip. "Do you think this is my fault?"

"No! No, of course not! It's not your responsibility to make sure he takes his medicine. You're not his mother."

Sakura was surprised at how angry she was feeling. After all the hoops they had to jump through to be together… he _had_ to go and fuck everything up. He really was an asshole. Of all the shitty things he could do… this was _far_ worse then breaking up with her. Was he really that stupid?

Maybe the right thing to do in this situation would be to cut her losses and go. It would be healthy to get out of her relationship with Gaara. They had had a good run, they made some good memories and they learned new things about themselves. If she had any sense at all she would break up with him and never have anything to do with the likes of him again.

Because really, how stupid could you get? If Ino knew about the whole withdrawal thing then he should have too. What would make him think that not taking his medicine wouldn't screw up his life. Things had been going pretty well for him, his injuries had healed up nicely, his family was being civil toward him, and he had a super hot girlfriend who loved him. Why would he sabotage all of that? Didn't he want to live well? Why didn't he think of these things when he decided to shove a fist in Sasuke's face?

It would serve him right to get dumped. He could have at least told her what was happening. Then maybe she would have been able to stop him from getting arrested. Although really, she abhorred the idea that she would have to become her boyfriend's babysitter. Didn't she make it clear that she didn't care if he had to medicate to be normal? Why would he hide these things from her?

But the idea of ending her relationship with him made her want to vomit all over the white carpet of Ino's bedroom floor. How could she even consider such a thing? Gaara needed her and she loved him. What kind of person would she be if she abandoned him when things got tough or when he needed her the most? She didn't want to overestimate her importance to him, but she had a feeling that if she left him now he would only continue to get worse. She needed to help him not hurt him, because she was probably the only person in town who gave a shit about him.

What was it that he expected her to do?

"Gaara doesn't have a mother. There is no one to make sure he takes his medicine. His family doesn't care about him at all. Temari knew and she didn't lift a finger to help him. I should have at least asked him."

She had had the perfect opportunity to ask him about these things but instead she got all caught up with playing love games with him. She was pathetic. I was most definitely her fault.

"Do _not_ blame yourself for this mess. You didn't tell him to stop taking his medicine and you didn't tell him to attack those people or to buy drugs. It was selfish and it was wrong."

"I don't want to leave him, Ino." Sakura felt her chest tighten. "This doesn't change the way I feel about him."

"I guess the only thing you can do is talk to him and find out just what the hell he did and why. I mean, if he was my boyfriend that's what I would do." Said Ino.

That was a good idea. She needed to give him a chance to explain himself. There was still a chance that he had a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything that had gone down. "How am I supposed to see him? He's in jail!"

"His father is the Mayor, Sakura. He won't be in jail for long. He'll probably spend the night there and be back on the streets by lunchtime tomorrow."

_Back on the streets?_ Ino made it sound like he was some sort gangster. "I think I'll take a sick day tomorrow and go and see him while his family is at work. Hopefully he'll say something to make me think that this relationship is even worth saving."

"Don't get your hopes up." Muttered Ino under her breath.

* * *

Sakura wondered what a girl was supposed to wear to a meeting with a psychopathic soon to be ex boyfriend.

Ok, that wasn't really fair. Gaara was not psychopathic and she had no real intention of breaking up with him, no matter what he said. Sakura was in deep over her head with this boy.

"I know that I say you should act like and adult, and that I will treat you as such, but I'm going to stress the fact that I think this is a very bad idea. I know that I can't stop you, and I'm not even going to try, but I'm voicing my objection." Tsunade said to Sakura, as the pink haired girl got ready to leave.

"Oh I'm perfectly aware at how stupid I'm being, I'm not going to deny that. But I really don't have any other option, not one I'm comfortable with at least." Sakura said. "Besides, shouldn't you be at work? Don't you have patients to see?" It was very unusual for Tsunade to be home during the daytime.

"When you told me you were taking a day off it sounded like a nice idea so I decided to do the same. I didn't have very many appointments so it worked out pretty well."

Sakura was worried. Tsunade _never_ took sick days. "So when's mom coming back?"

"I'm expecting her back in a couple of weeks. I thought during your spring break you could go up and help her finish setting up the apartment."

There were so many things she wanted to say to her grandmother, no, _scream_ to her grandmother. But with Tsunade is was no use, she couldn't tell Tsunade what to do anymore than Tsunade could tell Sakura what to do. How on earth did she get herself into this predicament? "Right." Sakura said weakly. She still couldn't believe any of this was happening to her. "I know this isn't really something we talk about, but how are you feeling?"

"Fine." Tsunade said, but her voice betrayed her. Tsunade was not fine. "It's really nothing you need to worry yourself about."

Did Tsunade honestly think that by her saying that that Sakura was going to worry any less? "Right, that's what I thought you would say."

Sakura grabbed her keys off the hook on the wall and strode out the door. Her shoulders hurt because she was being crushed under the feeling of impending doom.

* * *

**Apparently there was some super sad business on the website that kept reviewers from doing their thang. No worries guys, but if for some reason you reread that chapter and want to comment go ahead, ALSO I'm sorry I didn't get to reply to some distressed comments I received about the possibility of pregnancy, so let me do that right now.**

**Guys, THERE WILL BE NO PREGNANT SAKURA IN THIS STORY! :D I totally see where that idea came from, and with my history of leaving little hints and whatnot in the writing I'm sure I would have freaked out and been like, OH GOD! But no, the whole not using a condom thing, was totally just to show how irresponsible she was being and how he had that effect on her. Also I had no idea how to actually write about sex so I tried to mix some realistic stuff with some super romancey stuff. **

**ALSO don't you dig how often I'm updating? The chapters are a little shorter and a little rushed, but lately I just love posting stuff and I dropped my most difficult class (Holocaust Literature) so I've got more time to write. ALSO Thank you, Thank you, to those who did manage to get a review and Thank you, to all of those who tried. Leave some love (or respectful disdain) for chapta ate teen.  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**WARNING: Don't read this chapter if you think bad moods are contagious. **

**Disclaimer: I do not Own Naruto.  
**

* * *

He sat there smiling like he didn't have a single care in the whole wide world. Sakura didn't know what to make of it. "Are you…_happy_?" She asked him.

"Why shouldn't I be happy?" He said as if she had just asked the world's stupidest question.

Sakura stared at him. This was not the boy she knew and loved. She backed up against the wall, for some reason she felt the need to put distance between them. He was sitting innocently on the bed with his head propped up against a lumpy grey pillow but she knew that at any moment his mood might change and he might get angry. He had said that he would never do anything like hitting her, but that was before he had turned into this stranger.

"Gaara, you were arrested!" She said, hoping he would catch the distress in her voice and she wouldn't have to explain herself. "They took you away in handcuffs!

But Gaara just kept right on smiling. "So what? The mayor fixed it all, it's not like I'm going to jail."

"You were expelled from school!"

"I _hated_ that place."

"You attacked people. You sent people to the hospital!"

"They'll live. It's not like I killed anyone."

"You're shirt is covered in blood!" Sure enough there were dark stains on his shirt, which Sakura doubted were from spilling water. Why hadn't he changed his clothes? Didn't it bother him to wear clothes dirtied with the blood of the people he hurt?

In one swift motion Gaara pulled the shirt over his head and tossed it aside. "There, I'm not wearing it anymore, happy?" he scowled. "I'll throw it out."

Sakura had to look away. Shirtless Gaara was bad news. It would be a struggle not to let herself become distracted by lean muscle and jutting hipbones.

"Can't you see why I'm upset?" She pleaded with him. He had to understand that what she was only concerned for his well-being.

"You're _always_ upset." He said looking thoroughly annoyed. "The only time when you're not whining about something is when I've got my tongue down your throat."

Sakura resisted the urge to slap him. She had to remind herself that he wasn't in his right state of mind. "I don't know if you're trying to hurt me, or if you're trying to drive me away…" she took a deep breath. " I'm not going anywhere."

"You actually think I would _let_ you leave? Sakura, you're the best entertainment I've had in a long time. You don't get to decided whether or not you stay or go."

A chill ran down Sakura's spine. "Is that it? You want to control me?"

"Not everything is about you, princess."

"Oh really? We're back to that? What good will calling me names do? Come on, I thought we established that you wanted me to stay."

"No, we established that I don't care what you think and that you'll leave when I tell you to."

_He's trying to psyche you out_, she told herself. If there is one thing that the Sabaku family is good at it's playing mind games. "Why did you do it? I get Sasuke, but why Naruto? Why all those other people?"

His face was a dark mask. "They deserved it. I didn't like the way they were looking at me." Gaara got up off the bed and stalked over to where Sakura was leaning and he put his arm against the wall by the side of her head. He got right up close to her face so that all she could see was green eyes and all she could feel was his breath on her face. "What was I supposed to do?"

Sakura looked at the ground. He started a fight with them because they looked at him funny? What would he do if _she_ looked at him funny?

Gaara leaned forward and with his free hand he lifted her chin up so she faced him. "Why can't you look at me?"

Because she didn't know who he was. "You're too close to me."

"No," he said touching his forehead to hers. "_You're_ to close to _me_."

They _were_ close, close enough that she could feel the heat under his skin and close enough that she could smell the fight on him.

It was always the simple things. She slowly and hesitantly wrapped her arms around his thin torso. She wanted to feel what it was that was so important to her. She was drawn to him like a magnet.

Sakura stared up at the ceiling and allowed him to kiss the length of her neck. He stopped at her jugular and began to nip and suck the soft flesh. Her lips were left conspicuously untouched. Her insides felt sour.

This was wrong. Sakura didn't want to reward his violence with sex. He shouldn't even have been turned on by the conversation. She ducked underneath his arms and tried to escape him. "This isn't the time for this. I'm serious. We need to talk."

Just when she thought she was free of his hold she found herself pressed to his chest with one of his arms around her neck and the other snaked around her waist. He slipped his hand underneath her shirt and began to stroke her stomach. "Then talk."

She unconsciously leaned against him. She could feel the warmth spread through her core. Sakura tried to stay focused. "Why did you attack them? You had controlled yourself for so long. Why all of the sudden did you flip out like that?"

He breathed into her neck. "Because I wanted to. Because it felt good." He dipped his hand underneath the waistband of her jeans. "Haven't you ever just done something because it felt good?" His hand drifted lower and he kissed her ear. "Don't you want me to make you feel good?" he whispered.

More than anything. But she couldn't feel good about being with him until she figured things out. She still didn't understand what had happened, and what was still happening, especially between them. "You can't do this, I won't-" She stopped. Gaara had pushed her hair aside and was leaving soft kisses up and down the slope of her white shoulders. Sakura closed her eyes and took another deep breath. She felt his lips ebbing away at her reluctance and her desire to give in to him increase by tenfold.

"Relax, Sakura." He said, while deftly undoing the button to her jeans. We can talk later. Let's just get out of the way first. Isn't this what you _really_ came here for?"

"No!" she shook her head vehemently. "No, I came here because you messed up. You're doing drugs. Did you think I wouldn't hear about that?" She grabbed his wrist and tried to force it away from her hips, but her efforts were in vain.

His hand was in her pants again, his fingers lazily stroking her though the cotton of her underwear. Something inside Sakura began to ache terribly. It would be so easy to give in to Gaara. Her desire to have him inside of her was overwhelming. It was making her shake.

"We can talk about it later." He said in her ear. His tone left no room for objections. Yet still…

"I'm not just going to let you do this." She said determinately. "This is serious. You can't use sex to distract me. You owe me answers."

"Then tell me to stop." He kissed the corner of her jaw. "If what you want to say is so important that it can't wait until I've had you then just tell me, ' no'."

Sakura was silent. What did she really want from him? It was so easy to say that she wanted him to be good and that she wanted to fix the mistakes he made, but deep down this was all just a means to an end. She wanted to feel safe enough to love him both emotionally and physically.

"You don't want me to stop." Gaara said. It wasn't a question it was a statement. "Even after everything I've done you still don't want me to stop." He broke out into a fit laughter. "You really are something, aren't you?"

Sakura really didn't see what was so funny about their situation but his laughter snapped her out of her daze. She saw this as her opportunity to wriggle out of his arms. He continued laughing as Sakura hurried over to sit on the corner of his grey mattress. She wasn't sure that she was in the safest place to resist his advances but she knew it was better than trying to ignore his wandering hands while he held her tightly to his naked chest. Yes, the dirty mattress was one hundred percent less sexy.

"You don't have to worry." He said as if reading her thoughts. "I've already begun to lose interest in you. I mean, you're not much of a challenge. All you need to hear are pretty words and then you open up like an automatic door."

It stung. Sakura buttoned back up the front of her jeans. No girl wants to hear their boyfriend compare them to any type of door. Now her patience for him ran thin. She no longer had any reason to hold back. Tactfulness was completely lost on him anyways. Her brow furrowed. "How long has it been since you stopped taking your medicine?" she asked.

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked, immediately getting on the defensive. "Do you think you're my doctor now?"

"So it's been a while." She concluded.

"Maybe, maybe not. Either way, it's none of your fucking business." He sneered.

"But it is! I know I don't get to decide whether or not you chose to take them, but you could at least tell me what's going on. I had to hear about it from _Temari_."

"Temari is a stupid bitch who needs to learn to keep her fucking mouth shut."

If she was right about him not taking his medicine then what else was she right about? "Fucking hell Gaara, this isn't about Temari this is about you! You're not stupid. You know what the consequences of going off your meds is."

"Yeah. You're right. I _do_ know the consequences of going off my meds. You know what? I don't give a shit. If I want to stop taking them I can stop taking them. I don't need your fucking permission."

"Just tell me why! What's done is done, I just want to know _why_."

Gaara shrugged. "I guess I was bored. I wanted to have a little fun."

He did all this because he was _bored_? Sakura put her face in her hands and took a deep breath. "Did you give any consideration as to how I would feel about this? You didn't think I would be upset?"

"How much clearer do I have to be about this? I don't care what you think or what you feel. That's not important."

"You're saying I'm not important? You're saying that you don't care about me?"

Gaara looked thoughtful. "Yeah, I guess I am saying that."

Sakura clenched her fists. "I love you." She said. "And you can't stand there and tell me you don't love me too."

"Love you?" His face was blank. "Why would I do something stupid like that?"

This had to be his idea of a sick joke. Sakura was embarrassed to feel a lump forming in the back of her throat. This was not happening to her. "You told me that you loved me. Why would you lie about something like that?"

"I wanted you to sleep with me. I waited long enough for you to put out. I was getting impatient."

He was lying. He had to be lying. He had been sincere when he said those three words. She wasn't a fool. "No." she shook her head. "When you said it you meant it."

His face grew serious and he stared at he with urgent eyes. "You're right Sakura, I love you. I love you more than anything in this world."

Sakura's breath caught in her throat.

Gaara smiled. "Just kidding." He laughed. "You're pretty gullible, you might want to work on that."

Bastard. Bastard. Bastard. Bastard. "Why are you saying these things?" her voice cracked. "Why would you say these things to me?"

His smile widened and he sat down next to her. "I thought you wanted me to be honest with you. Now that we've got this out in the open we don't have to go on dates any more." He put his arm around her. "You can just take your clothes off and let me fuck you."

She doubted that even he saw it coming. Her hand moved on its own accord and she only realized that she had slapped him after she heard the loud smack of her hand against his cheek. Sakura shook with unsuppressed fury. "Don't talk to me like that." She warned him. "I put up with that crap with Sasuke but I won't make that mistake with you. You're supposed to be better than that. I _deserve_ better than that."

He put his hand on his reddened cheek and continued to smile. "What would you do if you found out that not only am I as bad as Sasuke, I'm worse. What would you do if I told you I've been using you? Do you really deserve anything if you're stupid enough to be fooled by all of that?"

"You haven't been using me." Sakura insisted. "You're not as bad as Sasuke and I'm not fooled by anything, even now. I haven't yet figured out why, but you're trying to hurt me."

"I don't care whether or not you're hurt by what I'm saying. You're the one who invited yourself over here. They're your questions. I'm just answering them as honestly as I can."

"You really wouldn't care if I were to walk out that door and you never saw me again?"

Gaara rolled his eyes." It's not like you're the only girl who wants to sleep with me. She doesn't have your energy but Matsuri is much easier and she whines half as much."

Sakura felt as if she was going to be sick. Did that mean he had been cheating on her with that girl from therapy? The one that had the crush on him? How long had that been going on for?

She was coming to a frightening conclusion: Gaara might be telling the truth and this might have all started before he has apparently stopped taking his medicine. It was possible that he had been a bad apple all along and she had just blinded herself to it.

"You… with Matsuri?" Sakura couldn't find the right words. Every time she opened her mouth she felt like she was going to be sick.

"Yeah." He smirked. "I love her like I love you."

Sakura felt her chest constrict painfully. "You don't mean what you're saying. You're lying."

He laughed. "I bet you're feeling pretty stupid now. Everyone told you to stay away from me. You should have listened to them."

"What other people say doesn't matter to me."

"Did you think you were special? Did you think that if you were gentle and spoke soft words that I would eat out of your hand like some sort of animal?"

Sakura felt bile rising in her throat.

"Did you think that I was just a troubled young man who just wanted to be loved? Did you think that underneath all the drugs and hate that I was a good person waiting to shine through?"

Sakura wanted to cover her ears. She didn't want to hear this.

"I bet that you thought you were the one person who could change me for the better. You thought that if you loved me then I would be your loyal pet." Gaara's voice was rising.

Sakura shook her head. "No, I never-"

"Face it. You thought I was something I'm not. You're all wrapped up in your sad, sad family problems and you were looking for a distraction. You wanted to mold me in to your jilted prince charming." He was shouting now.

Tear's leaked from Sakura's eyes. "I never wanted to change you. I just wanted to be with you. I still just want to be with you."

"Well I just want to fuck you. I want to fuck you and make you cry. I don't want to love you. I don't want to take my medicine and I don't want to be good. I want to fight."

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She was hurt and now she was angry. "You sound like a child, going on and on about the things you want. You need to grow up and act your age."

"Isn't that what you say to your bimbo mother? Isn't that what your drunkard grandmother says to you? Are you really going to sit there yelling at me when it's your family you hate?"

"Leave my family out of this! This is about you and me!"

"There is no 'you and me'. Can't you take a hint? I want you for one thing and one thing only, so if you don't feel like sucking my cock then you can get the hell out."

Sakura stood up. She had come to him looking for answers, not ridicule. She didn't have to sit there and take his abuse. "You're a bastard." Her voice shook.

He grabbed her wrist. "You sure you don't want to give it one last good ride?"

She flexed her fingers. She wanted to punch him.

Instead she snatched her arm back. "Don't ever come near me again."

"No one will touch you now." He shouted after her as she went up the stairs. "No one in this town will look at you the same way. I've ruined you. How does it feel to be ruined?"

She bit into her arm to keep from crying out. Tears ran down her pink cheeks as she fled the Sabaku house. Her heart was broken.

* * *

Sakura could hardly see the road; her sight was blurred by the tears streaming down her face. She gripped the steering wheel and she cried.

They weren't supposed to break up. It had never occurred to her that he might dump her. They were supposed to work through their problems together. He was supposed to tell her what was wrong. She was supposed to tell him how she felt. When all was said and done they were supposed to seal it was a kiss and then be done with the unpleasant drama. It wasn't supposed to end in tears.

She felt dirty where he had touched her. In a single conversation he had intimately touched her and then verbally berated her. It wasn't supposed to be like that. They were in love. They weren't this… this… this _mess_.

Any minute now he was going to call her and apologize, he was going to apologize and beg for her forgiveness. He was going to realize that he really did love her and that he didn't want her to cry over him. He was going to call her back and everything was going to go back to normal. It was going to be like nothing bad had happened between them.

But the call didn't come, and she knew that it wouldn't. He had been serious. He meant what he said.

But then again, it would seem that he wasn't a man of his word. Not at all.

Oh god she felt like shit. Every cell in her body felt as if it were dying.

She loved him, but how she hated him. She really truly hated him. It was all she could think about.

At first she didn't see Naruto's parents sitting on her front stoop. It wasn't until after she had slammed the car door shut that she noticed their presence. Immediately her hands were in a hurry to wipe the tears from her eyes and make her face somewhat presentable.

Kushina stood up and rushed over to put an arm around Sakura. "Sweetheart, it's okay to cry. Minato and I are like family, you don't have to hide your tears from us."

"No." Sakura forced a smile. "I'm fine. I'm going to be fine."

Minato put his hand on her head in a fatherly gesture. "I'm sorry, Sakura, I know this year has been hard for you."

"Yeah, it has…" she took a deep breath. "What are you guys doing here?"

"The doctors called us." Kushina explained. "We thought we should be the ones to break the news to you, but it seems like you already know."

Sakura's face paled. She had a terrible feeling. "Know what?"

"Well…um…" Kushina covered her eyes. "Minato?"

He took Kushina's hand in his. "Tsunade is in the hospital." He said. "She was admitted about an hour ago."

That couldn't be right. Tsunade had been acting strangely that morning but she didn't seem sick. Or maybe…

Sakura had been so distracted with her love life that she had been ignoring Tsunade's condition. She didn't even bother to ask her grandmother what was wrong before she rushed out the door to meet Gaara. The woman was dying and Sakura had chosen to spend her time crying over Gaara Sabaku. Tsunade was the real person Sakura should have been worrying about. There was no way she could doubt Tsunade's love for her.

Sakura felt her eyes begin to water again. How could she have been so stupid? "Well, is she… is she okay?" she asked, her voiced strained almost hysterical.

"No." Minato said. "No, she's not okay."

Sakura could feel Kushina next to her begin to sob.

"We need to get to the hospital." Minato continued. "Shizune is there waiting for us."

Sakura was vaguely aware of Minato and Kushina helping her into the car. After that Sakura couldn't say for sure what really what happened. All she could think about was how much she wanted to stay with Tsunade forever. She would give up everything if it meant Tsunade could have a second chance. Nothing else was important anymore.

She had been such a fool. Who the hell was Gaara Sabaku anyway? Tsunade was the woman who had raised her, the woman who was her mother, her friend, and her confidant all in one. Tsunade had been on Sakura's side since the day she was born.

Sakura regretted having ever been hostile toward her grandmother. She hated herself for causing Tsunade pain and grief. She should have been spending the last couple of months with her grandmother, not sneaking around or jumping into bed with Gaara Sabaku.

God, just his name made her want to curl up into a ball and…

Tsunade! Tsunade needed Sakura to be strong. She was going to give to woman the love and attention she deserved. No distractions this time.

Sakura sat and held Tsunade's hand tightly. She listened to the rhythmic beat of the heart-monitoring machine next to her and prayed for a miracle.

The doctors said that Tsunade's liver wasn't working and the rest of her body had begun to shut down too. Tsunade would be dead by the day's end.

How could she have let this happen?

Tsunade wasn't mad when Sakura had arrived at the hospital; she was as calm and level headed as ever. If her skin hadn't been that terrible shade of yellow and she hadn't been lying in that hospital bed, Sakura would have never guessed that Tsunade was sick if she hadn't already known.

It wasn't fair. Sakura had made an awful mistake.

And she was still making that same awful mistake. Even as she watched Tsunade take her last dying breaths part of her mind was still downstairs in the dark basement with Gaara.

She loved them both, and now she had lost them both too.

* * *

**I'm guessing that a lot of my readers want to strangle me right now. I'm pretty heartless aren't I? **

**I haven't been in a writing mood and if you combine that with my constant state of iritation then you get this chapter. I'm going to be honest and say I didn't work very hard on this but I thought my readers would want me to update so I gave it a shot. **

**The next chapter is the last one (an epilogue), after that I'll be writing a sequel, which I hope everyone will stay with me and read. **

**THANKS for the reviews. I really cannot say thank you enough. Even when I feel like stopping writing forever I'll get a review asking me to update and I'll be like well.... and then I'm off writing the next chapter. **

**So yeah, leave some more reviews and let me know what you think and maybe what you're looking for in a sequel. Its going to be a ten years later type deal so what kind of jobs do you think our hero and herione should have? I'm open to suggestions.  
**


	20. Chapter 20

**WOW guys! It's finally time to end this. We had a good run and I have no regrets. Lets see each other again soon!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.  
**

* * *

_Epilogue_

It was a cold funeral; Sakura felt the chill right down to the hollow of her bones. Even surrounded by the warm embrace of her friends and family, Sakura was cold.

Shizune took care of the funeral arrangements. In accordance with Tsunade's will, Shizune was also be in charge of taking care of the old farmhouse and barn until Sakura was of age to inherit the property. Tsunade had left every thing to Sakura, every dime she had was put away in a bank account Sakura could access when she turned eighteen. Sakura figured this was some sort of assurance that Tsunade's money would go directly to her granddaughter and not her daughter.

They delayed the funeral three days so that Mrs. Haruno would make it in time for the burial. Johnny was nowhere to be found. Sakura was furious.

Sakura cried twice while giving her eulogy, but she wasn't embarrassed, Tsunade had been the most important person in her life and Sakura didn't care if the entire world knew how lost and broken she was with out her grandmother.

The entire town was present for the funeral, minus one or two residents.

Gaara Sabaku was one of the missing residents.

Sakura didn't really expect to see him there, but she wanted to. Even if he didn't stand next to her, even if he didn't love her, she would have still liked for him to be in the crowd of people paying their respects to Tsunade. She wanted him to do something to prove that he was human.

None of her friends questioned his absence and his name wasn't even mentioned. Still, Sakura grieved for him too. Surrounded by a sea of black suits, black dresses and darkness, Sakura couldn't help but think of him. Everything reminded her of either her grandmother or Gaara.

She felt like a prisoner.

Sakura wore the black dress her grandmother had bought for her, the same dress she had worn the night Gaara had kissed her on thanksgiving. For once her mother had had the decency to dress conservatively and not flaunt her stripper body. The woman even squeezed out a few genuine tears. It seemed like everyone was crying.

It took Sakura about a week to pack up all of her stuff. She kicked and screamed the entire way but her mother was as stubborn as a mule, especially now that Johnny was gone. Sakura suspected that her mother was terrified at the prospect that she might have to raise a baby by herself. So in the end Sakura knew she would be forced to say good-bye to Konoha and to all of her friends.

Despite her better judgment Sakura went back to the Sabaku house. She thought for sure that she would never want to see Gaara's stupid face again, but after her departure became more and more imminent she realized that even if he hated her, she wanted to say goodbye. A tiny part of her was hopeful that he would have calmed down and have been ready to reconcile. But she knew the odds of that happening were slim to none.

She was _shocked_ when Temari told her that Gaara wasn't living with them anymore. They had sent him away, but not to a sanitarium, no, Mayor Sabaku shipped his son off to military school. Sakura was a day and a half too late to see him off. She had just missed him.

"I'm sorry." Temari had said. No insults, no I told you so's just a simple apology. Once again Sakura was at a loss. Who were the good Sabaku's and who were the bad ones?

Military School. Gaara was four hundred miles away. Gaara left and he never said goodbye. Just when she thought he couldn't hurt her anymore. She should have expected this from him.

It really felt as if some one had ripped her heart straight out of her chest. She couldn't feel anything other than pain.

Sakura missed Tsunade. She missed her more than she thought it was possible to miss anything. It was like waking up and finding your arm or your leg has disappeared. In Sakura's dreams, Tsunade was still alive and in the morning when Sakura woke up, she had to deal with the pain of losing her grandmother all over again.

She had to remind herself that Tsunade would be disappointed in her if she let her grief get the better of her. Sakura had to sit up and be an adult. There was no one left to take care of her now, she had to be independent. Things were going to be tough, she was going to have to become responsible for what was left of her family and any new members that might be joining them in the future.

She was going to fix her _own _broken heart. Sakura was going to work hard and build a better future for herself. She was going to embrace her new life and find away to make herself happy again. She was going to move on.

Maybe a fresh start was really all she needed.

**Right. So that's the end. I hope everyone enjoyed the story. I'm surprised I actually made it to this point. I guess its thanks to all my loyal readers. I'm excited to start the sequel so hopefully the first chapter will be published sometime this month. So be sure to look out for that! THANKS TO ALL THE REVIEWERS! You guys are responsible for the updates and I love you dearly. **

**I feel really bad about leaving the story at such a downer point, so I wrote you all a present. **

**It's one of Gaara's journal entries that takes place between their trip to the doctors and when Gaara gets beat up by Sasuke. I hope you like it!  
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January 12, 2009_

_Sakura Haruno is making me sick. _

_I don't know how she does it and I don't know why, but she makes me sick. _

_When I'm with her my chest feels tight and I can't breath. It's painful to watch her laugh and to watch her smile. When we're not together I feel empty, like I'm missing something, like I've forgotten something. When I finally see her face my heart speeds up and I get a rush of adrenaline, it's the same feeling that overtakes me when I'm about to start a fight. It's not completely unpleasant. _

_I'm afraid of sitting too close to her. There is an unbearable heat that radiates from her skin. I know that if I touch her I'll catch fire. _

_But I want to touch her. I can sit and think about it for hours. I imagine that she is soft, I _remember_that she is soft. I've felt her skin before; it's the warm satin my fingers itch to touch whenever any piece of pale ivory peeks out from underneath her clothes. I want to touch her with my lips. _

_I know that if I give into this need then I will only get sicker. Even if my illness doesn't get worse, there is still the frightening possibility that she will leave me. _

I do not want this to happen.

_The idea that Sakura might suddenly vanish from my life is a nightmare. Even if she makes me sick, when I think that I might not be able to spend time with her I feel like I have swallowed a boulder. If possible, I would like to stay with her forever._

_I've started to suspect that my mystery illness is really no illness at all, but I can't think of anything else that would make me this miserable (aside from my family of course). _

_I suppose I could just ask her about it. Sakura is actually an intelligent girl. Sometimes she acts so ridiculous that I forget how smart she really is. I watch her in science class and in math class. Sakura always knows the answer no matter how difficult the question is. It's a little annoying. I wonder where she fits all that information; she isn't a very big girl. _

_No, Sakura isn't very big at all. She is the perfect size to walk next to. I like walking next to Sakura. Though sometimes when we're together, I start to lose feeling in my legs. It would be embarrassing if we were someplace walking together and I suddenly fell flat on my face. I think Sakura would also be embarrassed if the guy she were with turned out to be such loser. _

_I have to wonder why she spends any time with me at all. _

_Maybe she knows she is making me sick and she is taking some sort of pleasure from it. It wouldn't be the first time someone got a kick out of seeing me suffer, but Sakura isn't that type of girl. She goes out of her way to do nice things for other people. It's kind of amazing. She gave me a MP3 player for Christmas. All I got her was a stupid box of chocolates. If I had known she was going to get me a gift I would have saved up my chocolate shop money and bought her something really nice. _

_I'm not even sure how to say thank you. _

_I feel sick just thinking about it. _

_She just looks at me with these eyes. They're so bright and so green. They remind me of the way the spring grass looks after a heavy rain. Especially when she's angry._

_Actually, she always looks really good. Really, really good. It makes me sick to my stomach. _

_I've got to figure out how she keeps doing that. _

_I wonder if I make her sick too. Sometimes her cheeks flush a dark shade of pink when she's with me. She doesn't seem to mind too much though. She's got this secret little smile going on. At first I thought that maybe she was laughing at me, but now I think that she might just be happy with me. It's so strange that I have the ability to make her happy. I've never made anyone happy before. _

_Maybe that's my place in the world, making Sakura happy. _

_I don't know what I would do if the Mayor found out. My greatest fear is that he will take it out on Sakura. I'll protect her from that no matter what. _

_I should learn how to talk to her. I've taken cues from TV shows I've seen and book I've read. I try to commit to memory the things that will make her feel good. I think I need to be more physical when we're together. I'm just afraid I'm going to do something wrong or hurt her. My hands are really only good for one thing, and I don't want to fight with Sakura. _

_I need to find a way to make my feelings go away. I need to either get rid of these feelings or find away to be the man that she really wants. _

_The reality of the situation is, I don't know what exactly it is that she wants from me. I have no experience in the world of dating and romance. It doesn't come naturally to me. There has to be something I can do to make this easier for us. I worry about this and it makes me feel a whole different kind of sick. _

_But before I do anything else I need to figure out why my insides feel so strange. I think I'll go to the library after work and try to find the answer in a book. If I can learn what it is that she is doing to me and fix it, I can concentrate on being better for her._

_I'm not going to mess this up.

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_**I'm a girl, in case my readers didn't already know that. So writing from the male perspective is difficult for me. Whatever. I just wanted something super gooey sweet to end this story not so gloomily. Leave a parting review perhaps?**


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